October 01 2008 11:48AM
Now you wouldn’t guess it from reading what we write, the bridge under which we live or from our awesome sword collection, but your old pal Wanye isn’t actually a crazy vagrant. In fact we actually have a “day job” that requires using our actual “brain” in the exciting world of “finance” (read: boredom). And for those of you who pay attention, some interesting things are happening in the world of dollars and cents these days. And by interesting we mean terrifying
The US Financial Meltdown is why we had to load up on Colt 45s and head down to Calgary last week and is also why we are also leaving town again today until the end of the week. It would seem that the complete collapse of investment banking isn’t good for “business” and that some “people” require “paycheques” at the end of the “day.” Apparently the rest of us have to come up with a “plan to mitigate disaster.”
We know what you’re asking: “What does this have to do with anything Wanye?” Or maybe “Wanye, do you know where I can get a good deal on shot guns and canned food for the coming apocalypse?”
Well ordinarily we would agree that financial theories and manifestos have no place on a hockey website. Then we saw the poll question at canoe.ca this morning.
The question asks “What storyline will most likely happen in the NHL this season?” Ordinarily the winning selection would be “SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT” but oddly enough look how things are currently standing:
A whopping 38 per cent of people seem to think that the American financial crisis impacting the operations of the NHL will be the major storyline in the NHL this season. A fellow in our office—and a loyal nation reader—tipped us off to the poll and the following conversation occurred:
Him: “You should write something about the possible impact of a severe recession on the NHL. I bet you could write something interesting about it.”
Me: “Well that’s just a terrific idea Gary*. Why don’t I also do an in depth piece on weather patterns delaying team planes, forcing teams to have less sleep than planned and therefore losing their game the following night.”
Him: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “If we are trying to bore people to death perhaps I should at least take a meteorological angle not a financial one.”
Him: “I don’t get it.”
Me: “Shut it Gary*.”
*His real name.
Then he pointed me to the poll at Canoe and then I pointed him to the door. But the question needs to be asked. What would the impact of a severe recession/depression be on the NHL? But then another question needs to be asked. Does anyone want to read about this? ‘Cause one time me and Willis committed to writing a four-part article on Gilbert Brule and it almost killed us. But if the citizens of the Nation care, then we will do some actual “work” and prepare a piece. If this sort of thing bores you we also have an idea for an article tentatively titled “The effects of Tupac’s faked death on Luongo being named Captain of the Canucks.”
Leave some comments. Vote in the poll. Let us know what you want.
Like many of you we watched the game against the Flames last night and heard the announcers complaining about the quality of the ice. We could literally hear the citizens of the Nation saying “Oh that damn Wanye. He don’t know nothing ‘bout no ice being fixed at no Rexall Place.”
We stand by our story that we talked directly to the refrigeration engineer that did the work on Rexall and who told us exactly what we wrote in the article—things are going to be better this year due to equipment upgrades. Perhaps it’s cause it was +27 yesterday or perhaps it’s cause of something else, but it sure is clear the ice is no better at Rexall than it was last year so far.
Another other thing
The draft is being signed up to en masse. It brings a tear to our eye to see the level of thought being put into the team names. “The Dr Randy Gregg Experience” is the early leader for hilarity, followed by the tasteless “Phil Kessel’s something something.” We highly suggest everyone sign up. We have a feeling it will turn into war shortly after the season starts. And you know what we call people that don’t participate in wars?
You don’t want to be from France do you?