'Things look like crap around here'—Jason Gregor

Wanye
October 14 2008 09:17AM

Ever set yourself a goal, Nation?

Maybe it’s a goal to drop the last 100 lbs that stand between you and that elusive six pack you haven’t seen since high school. Maybe it’s to write the Great American Novel, or a learn a new language of some variety. Maybe you want to record a follow-up album to your 1980 smash hit “Whip it” and show the music industry you still have what it takes to spit hot fire.

For us, our goal was decided in early April 2008. We wanted to help upgrade this super-kickass website over the off-season. The things on our to-do list are as follows:

1. Get more writers to keep Brownlee company

  • Willis (check)
  • Gregor (check)
  • Lowetide (check)

2. Rebuild back end of website to have more functionality

3. Re-do look of website to kick extra ass and be as sweet as possible given the current level of technology available on planet Earth.

4. One other “secret thing”

Well we’ve witnessed the OilersNation staff hard at work in the off-season. Doing things, talking to people on the phone, writing things down. Scribbling on whiteboards, mailing letters, going to meetings. We wish now that we had paid closer attention to what was going on, but man alive they looked busy.

Now we know for a fact that the new website is days away. They let us look at it a few weeks back and give our opinions. Then they carefully recorded our opinion on a piece of paper and used it for unspeakable horrors in the Men’s Room here at Nation HQ. The development team is a hard-working group—and they are 100 per cent focused on getting the new OilersNation up and running ASAP.

But they have also hilariously started to ignore the existing site. It’s like they know a hotter girl wants to go out with them, so they are starting to ignore their current lady friend completely.

Let’s check in on a quick Q&A with the development team on Friday shall we?

Question 1

Wanye: “What happens when the countdown clock hits zero over the weekend?”

Dev Team: “Uh, it will probably read all zeros.”

Wanye: “Oh ok, that won’t be so bad.”

Question 2

Wanye: “Is the score updater going to work this season?”

Dev Team: “We have a way better score updater for the new site. But yeah, the old one should work until the new one goes up.”

Wanye: “Well so long as it doesn’t just read that joke score we have had up all off-season”

Dev Team: “Oh no. It can’t because (insert complex technical jargon here).”

Question 3

Wanye: “So you promise the new site will be up for the season opener?”

Dev Team: “Totally. You can count on us, Wanye.”

Wanye: “Sweet. I love you guys so much.”

Dev Team: “Really? We always thought you didn’t like us. You are usually so mean, that really means a lot because—”

Wanye: (interrupting) “Shut your mouth I was being nice. Don’t you dare look me in the eye!”

Question 4

Dev Team: “How is that “other” thing you are working on going these days?”

Wanye: “I repeat: What happens when the countdown clock hits zero? IS IT THE END OF DAYS??”

And so it went until late into the night.

So fast forward to Tuesday morning. The countdown clock has ended and it impossibly says “Hor” instead of “all zeroes.” And the scoreboard still says 31–0 Oilers over the Flames. An excellent score no doubt, but it doesn’t reflect the outcome of the last game in the least.

Now we’re having a philosophical debate with the team. Should you put a few hours into fixing a few bugs on the current site or just drive hard and finish off the new one? At what point do you pour your efforts into finishing off the last 5 per cent of the new version? Is it two weeks ago when you promised you would be done? Should you work day and night to ensure that it is up? Can Devo ever rebound from Whip It?

An email from Jason Gregor received 9:34pm last night:

“Hey Boys.

What the heck is going on with the site? Things look like crap around here. The clock is gone, the score isn’t fixed and there is a swear word in the title of that Wanye article. And I won’t even get into the picture that idiot put up. What’s wrong with you guys? Get it fixed ASAP.”

Ah sweet progress.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 Tommy
October 14 2008, 09:31AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I was wondering when the vaunted new website would be up. Get it done Wanye, I agree with Gregor.

Avatar
#2 DJ Spyn Cycle
October 14 2008, 10:02AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I agree with Gregor as well, Wanye. I should never have passed this responsibility over to you. ;)

Can't wait for the new look, tho!

Avatar
#3 Ender
October 14 2008, 10:04AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

It could be worse. You could re-write and re-code the site from scratch yourself once a year in an insomniatic fit like I do.

Avatar
#4 DJ Spyn Cycle
October 14 2008, 10:11AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Actually, that was one of the options we seriously considered until we gave our heads a shake and realized that we had no idea where to even start.

We post the content. And sometimes use html tags. That's about as sophisticated as we get. Thank gods for our developers.

Avatar
#5 1011011
October 14 2008, 11:11AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I like the clock the way it is

HOR

Avatar
#6 Ender
October 14 2008, 12:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Actually, that was one of the options we seriously considered until we gave our heads a shake and realized that we had no idea where to even start. We post the content. And sometimes use html tags. That’s about as sophisticated as we get. Thank gods for our developers.

I hear ya. I end up spending enough time on the layout, images, and backend that I tend not to get a whole lot of posting in. That said, Doogie2K has been filling in on that side nicely since he quit WoW, so I can't complain too loudly.

Well, I could, but I'm not Wanye.

Avatar
#7 Wanye Gretz
October 14 2008, 12:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

It's not complaining when there is a shotgun under your desk.

Ender - what site are you talking about?

Avatar
#8 Kent
October 14 2008, 01:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Ender - what site are you talking about?

Click his name.

Avatar
#9 Wanye Gretz
October 14 2008, 01:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

That's a good looking site Ender.

How did you come up with the name for it?

THATS COMIC GOLD WANYE

Avatar
#10 Ender
October 14 2008, 04:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I do what I can.

Avatar
#11 Doogie2K
October 14 2008, 06:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

That said, Doogie2K has been filling in on that side nicely since he quit WoW, so I can’t complain too loudly.

Ah, two years of my life I'd like to have back. They don't call it Warcrack for kicks.

The plus side of Ender's frequent insomniac fits is that the site generally gets easier to use/better designed each year. So at least there's a point to the suffering, even if it occasionally breaks my ability to edit posts along the way.

Avatar
#12 Ender the Dragon
October 15 2008, 10:01AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

For the record, I changed my identity on this site so I wouldn't get confused with the 'original' Ender. And I'd like to post so 'grats to Ender for his other site; besides Nation, it's the only other Oiler site I still need to visit now that everyone else of note writes on here.

How 'bout it, Doogie? When are you going to come over to the Dark side and offer to post for Wayne? Serious one-stop shopping then.

Avatar
#13 Ender
October 15 2008, 02:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Boo!!! No recruiting!!!

Avatar
#14 Doogie2K
October 16 2008, 12:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wow. Just imagine the kind of power I'll wield if I post more than twice a week.

/steeples fingers

Comments are closed for this article.