GDB6: Put it behind you

Wanye
October 23 2008 04:24PM

Sometimes things just don’t go right. Sometimes it just isn’t your day. Sometimes even though you have well trained troops, an excellent strategy and remorseless intelligence gatherers who are incapable of showing compassion you just can’t determine the exact location of the guerilla hideout.

Exactly.

It’s kind of like the time Britney Spears showed up at the VMAs out of shape, out of practice, irrationally confident and totally blew it (pun intended.) It’s kind of like the Oilers showing up in Chicago last night with their little heads full of “best start since 1986” dreams dancing in their heads. They showed up looking gross too and were completely out of it – and mailed in one of the worst Oilers games we have seen in awhile.

So what do you do?

Put it behind you.

Take a page out of Britney’s book. Dump your crazy Lebanese manager and fly in your Dad who is immediately court ordered to take away all your PCP and forces you at gunpoint into the gym, the recording studio, the gym, the recording studio and finally the gym with little concern for your sanity or long term health.

The bottom line here is immediate success Nation.

And frankly that’s what we need to see tonight. A quick comeback engineered with little regard for long term stability.

Is Souray hurt? Don’t care – throw him over the boards.

Oh you’re concerned about the goaltending situation and want to give everyone a shot? Nope. Garon in – everyone else out.

But what about the children? Hang the children. It’s time for a bounce back win.

Keys to success

- Score more than 0 goals. This may seem counter intuitive to some. “But Wanye, what if the game plan is to force a scoreless tie and win in a shoot out?” Let’s try abandoning that game plan for an instant and just say start with potting a goal.

- Play some defense. This may also fly in the face of anyone who shelled out $14 to watch the crap-a-thon last night but believe us when we say “defense wins games.” Maybe all those people who sit in front of Charlie Huddy on the Oilers bench can assist with this. After all, they have gone to all the trouble of putting on skates and elbow pads – why not play a little defense while you are waiting for your turn to spit on the bench floor?

- Throw a career sidelining body check. We aren’t saying that it should be an Oiler that gets hurt. That’s cruel. Now an Avalanche on the other hand … they could sustain an MCL tear and we would sleep soundly tonight.

They are all insured, it will be fine.

Predictions?

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#151 OilersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:05PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I am drinking a Bud Light as we speak

Avatar
#152 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Ok...Mats Sundin in a Pokerstars.net commercial? Is that where he is?

Avatar
#153 OilersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I see, so Sundin is contemplating retirement for a career in poker..Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm nope that is stupid

Avatar
#154 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I like your style ninja... but flare points clearly go to the towel boy...

Avatar
#155 French Guy
October 23 2008, 09:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Zut Alors!!! Mats Sundin

Avatar
#156 OilersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Fine if you want to know the truth I am having a strawberry vodka martini. Does that fancy your interests puckbunny?

Avatar
#157 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Lately I've been doing straight vodka shots with a chilling Yop chaser.

Avatar
#158 Potsy
October 23 2008, 09:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Fonz there you are, I have been waiting to see you at Arnold's for the past 39 years. I misss you Fonz

Avatar
#159 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I thought only hookers drank those... lol :)

Avatar
#160 OIlersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

That would be a fancy cement mixer

Avatar
#161 OIlersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I prefer the term professional or working girl

Avatar
#162 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

um... a little flamboyant, towel boy I think the ninja is sneaking up on you... just remember the judo chop.

Avatar
#163 OIlersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

There is nothing flamboyant about drinking straight booze, I will show you the hair on my chest to prove this

Avatar
#164 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Did I mention I'm drinking mine in a fancy glass, with charms, umbrellas, a coiled straw, swords and a fruit salad on top?

Thassright...don't MESS with me.

Avatar
#165 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

hair like that guy??? YIKES!!!

Avatar
#166 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

When does the cyber love come in? I've got the pants down and am standing by...

Shhh Shh go on, I'm not even here...

Avatar
#167 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

swords... interesting mix!

Avatar
#168 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

...i'm not wearing any socks right now...

Avatar
#169 OIlersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

You win.................tear

Avatar
#170 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Ah ha ha... I thought I could hear breathing! Mmmmmm nothing like hockey and creepy conversation

Avatar
#171 1011011
October 23 2008, 09:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Back to hockey you sicko's

Avatar
#172 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

haha...yep...thank god the game's back on.

Avatar
#173 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Awe ninja... don't cry! Unless of course they are magic tears and give a little life back to the oil tonight

Avatar
#174 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

LET'S GO OI-LERS!!!

...

LET'S GO OI-LERS!!!

...

LET'S GO OI-LERS!!!

Avatar
#175 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

GOILERS

Avatar
#176 OIlersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I hope so...weep weep...I sure hope so..weep

Avatar
#177 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

woah.

Avatar
#178 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Your tears are no good.

Avatar
#179 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Stop your weeping... it doesn't help... CRAP!!!!

Avatar
#180 Wanye Gretz
October 23 2008, 09:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

This ia beyond belief, where is Cujo when you need. him

Avatar
#181 1011011
October 23 2008, 09:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

fiddlesticks

Avatar
#182 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I sent a page into Mike Morrison, he's on his way.

Avatar
#183 OilersNinja
October 23 2008, 09:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Now I am actually crying

Avatar
#184 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'm a complete mess.

Avatar
#185 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Luckily you are a boy made of towels. Clean up is a snap.

Avatar
#186 French Guy
October 23 2008, 09:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

the boys are just painting the glass, HIT THE NET

Avatar
#187 Wanye Gretz
October 23 2008, 09:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'm actually offended at the level of effort being displayed.

Avatar
#188 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

OK....TSN turning point.

Avatar
#189 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Please, God, make me a bird so I can fly far. Far far away from here.

Repeat.

Avatar
#190 Wanye Gretz
October 23 2008, 09:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Good lord baggedmilk - if only the Oil were performing half as well as you are on that comment

Avatar
#191 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

This is it... start up the water works ninja... crunch away Wanye... they can pull out of this!

Avatar
#192 Wanye Gretz
October 23 2008, 09:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Why are they using Mats Sundin now? Are they aware of his playing status? What's next a bird endorsing deodorant?

Avatar
#193 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

sounds like mats says "poke stars" in that commercial.

Avatar
#194 NoPantsTuesday
October 23 2008, 09:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Remember when the Oilers tried to win games even if they were behind. Man, those were the days.

And whats with Sundin doing poker stars commercials?

Avatar
#195 1011011
October 23 2008, 09:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"crunch away Wanye"

somebody liiiiiikes you

Avatar
#196 puckbunny
October 23 2008, 09:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

easy binary... there is luv for everyone... well except for the obvious..

Avatar
#197 The Towel Boy
October 23 2008, 09:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Chris Pronger?

Avatar
#198 Wanye Gretz
October 23 2008, 09:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hey I know how the internet works. Puck bunny is either

a) one of us using a pseudonym b) a guy c) a robot d) a guy

Avatar
#199 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

That power play looked like it was fun by a hat full of assholes.

Avatar
#200 baggedmilk
October 23 2008, 09:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'm not your robot, guy.

Comments are closed for this article.