October 23 2008 04:24PM
Sometimes things just don’t go right. Sometimes it just isn’t your day. Sometimes even though you have well trained troops, an excellent strategy and remorseless intelligence gatherers who are incapable of showing compassion you just can’t determine the exact location of the guerilla hideout.
It’s kind of like the time Britney Spears showed up at the VMAs out of shape, out of practice, irrationally confident and totally blew it (pun intended.) It’s kind of like the Oilers showing up in Chicago last night with their little heads full of “best start since 1986” dreams dancing in their heads. They showed up looking gross too and were completely out of it – and mailed in one of the worst Oilers games we have seen in awhile.
So what do you do?
Put it behind you.
Take a page out of Britney’s book. Dump your crazy Lebanese manager and fly in your Dad who is immediately court ordered to take away all your PCP and forces you at gunpoint into the gym, the recording studio, the gym, the recording studio and finally the gym with little concern for your sanity or long term health.
The bottom line here is immediate success Nation.
And frankly that’s what we need to see tonight. A quick comeback engineered with little regard for long term stability.
Is Souray hurt? Don’t care – throw him over the boards.
Oh you’re concerned about the goaltending situation and want to give everyone a shot? Nope. Garon in – everyone else out.
But what about the children? Hang the children. It’s time for a bounce back win.
Keys to success
- Score more than 0 goals. This may seem counter intuitive to some. “But Wanye, what if the game plan is to force a scoreless tie and win in a shoot out?” Let’s try abandoning that game plan for an instant and just say start with potting a goal.
- Play some defense. This may also fly in the face of anyone who shelled out $14 to watch the crap-a-thon last night but believe us when we say “defense wins games.” Maybe all those people who sit in front of Charlie Huddy on the Oilers bench can assist with this. After all, they have gone to all the trouble of putting on skates and elbow pads – why not play a little defense while you are waiting for your turn to spit on the bench floor?
- Throw a career sidelining body check. We aren’t saying that it should be an Oiler that gets hurt. That’s cruel. Now an Avalanche on the other hand … they could sustain an MCL tear and we would sleep soundly tonight.
They are all insured, it will be fine.