While most of his teammates failed to break a sweat, Saint Fernando di Pisani found a way to break his ankle against Detroit last night en route to a 4–0 loss.

This injury may be replicated in the other bones of other Oilers by a hilariously irate Coach MacTavish—who is throwing out sound bites though his very career depends on it.

My, these are heady times to be a fan of the Mighty Oil, aren’t they? The much-heralded New Era has gotten off to a bit of a rocky start wouldn’t you say?

Nothing that a match against the Squadron from Columbus can’t fix, is it? For you see the… Uh…

Crap.