The Shitathalon at Rexall Place

Wanye
November 27 2008 09:49AM

My oh my, what a game THAT was last night wasn’t it? We don’t know what y’all think right now, but we are sensing that the Oil aren’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Call us crazy, but when MacT was yammering on about ‘quelling optimism’ prior to the season starting this isn’t what we had in mind come November 27th.

Look how upset they've made David Staples! We can positively feel the rage coming through the screen over at Cult of Hockey:

“Tonight I post more in sadness than in anger. Something is wrong with the Edmonton Oilers and it's painful to behold. What is up? I give up. This team is FUBAR. OK, maybe I am a bit ticked off, too.”

Well congratulations, Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club. You have made David Staples not only give up, but use an acronym that contains a swear word. Never did we think we would see the day. You know how he gets when he’s ticked off! What’s wrong with you? Random passersby at the Journal are hit with whisky bottles. Ammunition sales go through the roof. Diamonds Gentleman’s Club reports “a really nice guy sitting in the back corner, nursing a Bud Light for most of the afternoon and mumbling something about ‘error stats.’”

For shame.

For those of you not paying attention the Oil currently have a defenceman that hasn’t scored in 75 games playing the wing, the starting goalie inexplicably rides the pine and the team dentist is currently acting in a capacity as the team orthodontist. What’s next? A squirrel acting as the announcer?

Pop Quiz

Kings come in for back to back games in Alberta. They appropriately lose to the Flames, and fly into Edmonton the following night to face a team that has had five days off. Who do you think would win? The Oilers or the Kings? Did we mention that the opposing team is the Kings? Note: Kings = basically a fifth seeded AHL team that missed a connecting flight at LAX and stayed the winter.

Did you guess the Oil? Wrong!

(Gunshot goes off, body drops to floor)

I would rather go over to the Oilers website and read Tom Gilbert talking about taking Steve Staios’ kids for sushi then witness another game of this shitastical quality. Hey Tom -- we have something you could write about. For a moment, stop enflaming the loins of your 15-year-old female readers by disclosing your ambitions to see High School Musical 3. Instead maybe you could appease the zillions of voting-age fans in the OilersNation and throw us out a win or two. How does that sound “Gilbs?” After all, you have all gone to the trouble of coming up here for the winter, we have bought all these tickets and stuff. Maybe you and your co-workers could stop the suck for a month or two and put yourself in a playoff position?

Make David Staples say FUBAR... For shame!

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 The Towel Boy
November 27 2008, 10:04AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

That game was indeed Shitrocious (tm).

Not how I had drawn it up in my mind, that's for sure! Of course in my mind the Oilers had shotguns and chainsaws and the LA kings were remeniscent of a zombie hord. But I digress.

Avatar
#2 David S
November 27 2008, 10:06AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Haha. Maybe you could dig up a pic of Mr Lahey with all the shit-isms flying around in the post.

BTW - nice cut on Girlbert too.

Avatar
#3 The Towel Boy
November 27 2008, 10:07AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I've read a few Gilbert blogs and questioned my own manhood afterwards.

Avatar
#4 Monday Guy
November 27 2008, 10:08AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Most disappointing game of the year. 5 days of rest hard practices new systems time to focus / recharge

i expected a butt whoopin'

Avatar
#5 Unleaded
November 27 2008, 10:10AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I have been doing my best not to say this. I was so happy over the summer - the team was looking like it would dominate the NW. 4 months ago I never even would have considered saying this. But after watching that game, that team, that... "potential" dissapear, I can't help it. It has to be said.

I want Jarret Stoll back.

Avatar
#6 David Staples
November 27 2008, 10:14AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

That Horcoff signing Dustin Penner's t-shirt is about the funniest thing I've seen all year.

Avatar
#7 Wanye Gretz
November 27 2008, 10:21AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I think (?) that's the real David Staples ... if so -

*turns into puff of joy dust*

Avatar
#8 Greg MC
November 27 2008, 10:23AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Looks like Dustin has lost some weight, should help his foot speed.

Avatar
#9 Bruthah
November 27 2008, 10:36AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Maybe the team can stay .500 on this upcoming road trip. Wow, who would have thought we would embrace them leaving Rexall?

Avatar
#10 JB
November 27 2008, 10:39AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Ugh. That game was horrible. THe team looks listless and lethargic. That's okay though; a hat trick of consecutive playoff misses should result in a coaching change you'd think. Always look on the bright side folks! Perhaps we can draft another small, skilled forward in the first round. Can never have enough of those.

Avatar
#11 milli
November 27 2008, 10:40AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

haha, thats funny. I think what this team really needs is a long road trip so that they can bond as a team....ya, that'll solve all our problems, and hey, it's way better to get BOOOOOOOD on the road.....I wonder if that guy who used to be GM is still real excited about this group? I wonder if the 3 goalie circus is mearly being used as a distraction so we all don't realize that you actually need to score goals (as in more than one) to generally win a hockey game? But I guess if Roli had of played better, and maybe scored a goal, we could have eecked that one out 2-1!!! That would have been sweet, then CracT would be looking like a genius!!! I for one am really enjoying this new era of the dominant oilers!!!!

Avatar
#12 milli
November 27 2008, 10:41AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

oh ya

WELCOME TO THE NEW LEAF LAND!!!!

POPULATION: OILERS.

Avatar
#13 David Staples
November 27 2008, 10:45AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

GO LEAFS!

Avatar
#14 Robert
November 27 2008, 10:46AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Shitastic game

I think Horcs is drawing directions to the front of the net.If he ever gets lost,..look at your shoulder.

Avatar
#15 David Staples
November 27 2008, 10:50AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Will the real David Staples please stand up?

Avatar
#16 Zamboni Driver
November 27 2008, 10:51AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Horcoff signing Penner's shirt.

...coffee...nostrils...pain.

Avatar
#17 Bruthah
November 27 2008, 10:58AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

lol at ZD's reaction

Avatar
#18 Moony
November 27 2008, 11:00AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I have not been overly critical of Mac-T so far this year but I have finally had enough of this gong show. In my opinion here are a few of the more retarded things he has done: 1. The way he handles the goaltending. 2. The way he handled Penner. 3. Pisani at center for way to long. 4. Smid at forward. 5. Cole either playing on the wrong wing on the first line or the right wing on the 3rd line. How about if Hemsky is your first line right-winger maybe try Cole on the second line with some skill guys you retard. 6. The other day a Gregor asked Macintyre if Mac-T had anything special to say to him when they sat down to talk. Mcintyre said that Mac-T has not sat down to talk to him yet. I know Macintyre should not be Mac-T’s top priority but how does an NHL coach go 20 games into the season without having at least one sit down talk with every guy on his roster. That seems retarded to me to. Maybe Gregor or Robin can tell me if I am way off base with this comment as I have never been as close to an NHL team as they are.

Avatar
#19 Braden
November 27 2008, 11:02AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

This organization has no clue. Did they expect Dustin Penner to peak last year? Wasn't the idea that Dustin Penner might not be worth the money in the first couple years but it should pay off in the final 2 or 3 years?

Dustin Penner led Edmonton in goals last year and he was one of the top goal scorers in the entire league. So what does Edmonton do? They abandon there plans and and play Ethan Moreau, Erik Cole and Ronert Nilsson in his place. Is this organization seriously that short-sighted?

MacTavish takes him out of the top 6 and plays him with 2 pluggers and Penner has to watch guys like Sam Gagner make horrible play after horrible play, two of them having a direct result in a losing outcome. Sam Gagner plays like crap so what does MacTavsih do? He promotes him to the first line with Hemsky.

Why in the world would Penner look "motivated" when the coach bailed on him? Clearly with guys like Sam Gagner and Horcoff getting heavy minutes it's not about how you're performing but who you are.

Same thing with Kyle Brodziak. Last year he scored 14 goals and was "making plays that grinders don't make", and was looking like maybe a poor mans Shawn Horcoff. So what does MacTavish do? He certainly didn't give Kyle the 3rd line center opportunity that he probably warranted from his play last year. He certainly didn't play him where Kevin Lowe thought he would after he traded Stoll and let go of Reasoner. MacTavish, in a contract year, glued Kyle to Steve Smack, Zach Stortini and Marc Pouliot. Who is seriously going to be motivated to play with Smack in a contract year? I'm sure watching Pisani play center for the first time in a decade is real motivating for Kyle.

Avatar
#20 FS
November 27 2008, 11:07AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Too many things wrong with this team. No effort!!! when you call up two guys and pair them up with a defenceman for a energy forth line "you got problems". How does a team that has just played the night before, beat you to pucks. And you've five days off. WTF!!! 0-5 on the powerplay. If you don't shoot you can't score. Out shot again 29-23. I think we had one shot in the first 10min of the second. Mac-t needs to call a time out earlier, although I don't think anyone is listening.

Avatar
#21 Braden
November 27 2008, 11:08AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Should read - one of the top goal scorers on the PP.

Avatar
#22 Chaz
November 27 2008, 11:09AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Horcoff and Penner? Are you sure? I'm fairly certain that's Sloth and Chunk at the Goonies 20th anniversary DVD release party. Maybe K-Lowe should think about throwing Time-Warner an offer sheet...

On a serious note, what else is left to be said or done with this group? All I know for sure is if 90% of a team is vastly under-achieving on a nightly basis, as the Oil are, you can only blame the coach. Do you like apples Mac T?

Avatar
#23 David Staples
November 27 2008, 11:21AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Yes, it's me. All of us.

Anyway, just drop me an email, if you're ever wondering if it's really me.

For the record, the first post was me, the other two posts come from my greatest admirers.

Anyway, your post and this thread has me laughing out loud.

Avatar
#24 Tambo
November 27 2008, 11:25AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Why did I leave Vancouver for this???? These fans are insatiable.

Avatar
#25 shakey
November 27 2008, 11:43AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Tambo; you left Vancouver because they left you on the sidelines and promoted people around you and from outside of the organization and you finally got tired of it. You took a job in a city where the fans care and they don't like a team that doesn't put in the effort required to be successful. You now have the power you worked so hard to get. Now please do something with this power and show us that Jesse Boulderice was a brain fart...not a vision of things to come...or not come.

Avatar
#26 Tambo
November 27 2008, 11:46AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Right....... still drunk after that loss last night. I mean, can you believe it. We lost to LA?!?!

Where's the shooters?

Avatar
#27 JB
November 27 2008, 11:47AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I still think Tambo is an animatronic robot being fed dialogue by Kevin Lowe. For their next trick, Oilers management will blast Ales Hemsky in the newspaper, play him 8 minutes a game with Reddox and that other plumber they just recalled, move Laddy Smid to goal, and then reward Ethan Moreau with a $6 million a year extension for being a good solider. It is another awesome year to be an Edmonton sports fan!

Avatar
#28 Al Hamilton
November 27 2008, 11:49AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Go Oilers! Good news from last night.....Bobby Clark finally gave good ol' Al Hamilton the shout out he deserves after the bobby orr junior jersey retirement intermission filler. Yea, he was western Canada's bobby orr. Go get em Clark.

Lets hire Clark (GM), Tortarella (Coach), Pang (Goalie Coach/Cheerleader), Macguire (Monster Creator) and Mackenzie (Rumour Specialist/Scout). Then bring back Ray Ferraro and Dutch while we are stealing all of TSN's crew. These guys know hockey. It makes as much sense as hiring all former oilers right?

GO OILERS GO!!

Avatar
#29 pdan
November 27 2008, 12:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Edmonton is the polar opposite of those teams (Tampa) that hire/fire their coaches within a short timeframe. No, we haaaaaang onto our coaches, and no matter how craptastic they fail, team management is "firmly in their corner". Macocia and MacT. All I want for Christmas is both to get pink slips. There is no hope on the former, and little on the latter.

Avatar
#30 swany
November 27 2008, 12:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

After that game I thought we would hear something from Klowe or Tambi, thery were booed off the ice for god sakes. The Oilers are a team that sits on the fence, if this was any other team with the these expectations a coaching change or a trade would have happened by now, come on boys do something the last time I checked it wasn't friggen free to watch this crap.

Avatar
#31 shakey
November 27 2008, 12:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

pdan; The Esk's are having a press conference this afternoon and the rumor is that Maccocia is stepping down as coach. Now only if the Oilers could call a press conference....

Avatar
#32 MJ
November 27 2008, 12:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Yup Maccocia "stepping down" but sadly he'll be in management.

Personally I wanted to see more changes to the Esks than promoting the guy, but we will see if this changes the on-field product.

Avatar
#33 shakey
November 27 2008, 12:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

MJ; if it meant Mac T wasn't coaching anymore I'd support his promotion as well.

Avatar
#34 Chris
November 27 2008, 12:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

First page of the Sun: Oilers Battle Kings.

Should read: Oilers Battle Mediocrity.

Avatar
#35 MJ
November 27 2008, 12:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

With his proven talent of player assessment, look at the messes he's had just at kicker and RB. Now he gets to make personnel decisions from a pure management standpoint. I don't see how this will help matters as to me, he's not exactly a talent-assessing genius.

Avatar
#36 Bruthah
November 27 2008, 12:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"First page of the Sun: Oilers Battle Kings.

Should read: Oilers Battle Mediocrity."

Where was this battle they spoke of?

Avatar
#37 Chris
November 27 2008, 12:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

For years I have been praying that the Mighty Oil could put together a team that could beat Dallas. Ha Ha Dallas! Look whose ahead of who in the standings now! Suck on that!

Avatar
#38 Socrates
November 27 2008, 12:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

hey fellas, lighten up a little. you are all arguing around in circles. the last couple years MacT was an idiot for not giving young guys a chance. This year he's a nut bar for giving Gagner too much of a chance. Penner should be called out by a good coach if he is being paid 4.25M and is over-weight and looks like he has cement skates. MacT is not as bad as you all are painting him. The last 2 years we set a club record for injuries, and most of the games lost were to our top players. The year before, our best line-up since 1990, we got to the Final. Before that we were fitting a non-cap league with no money. What really needs to happen is we need to deal with some of the excess weight hanging around and being paid too much. a nice 2-1 trade or 3-2 trade would solve a lot of our issues. But you can't rush a trade, so be patient and take a valium. We've seen worse, much worse. We are on the right track. Firing a coach doesn't inspire multi-millionaires to perform.

Avatar
#39 freeze
November 27 2008, 12:46PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

No seriously you guys, as long we keep doing a drop pass at the offensive blue line or in the slot it will work eventually and then watch out. srsly.

Avatar
#40 Chris
November 27 2008, 12:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I agree with Socrates. We should not only give MacT another twenty games...how about another twenty years? Continuity is improtant. P.S. Do you think Garon could fill in for Smid on defence?

Sincerely Kelly Buchberger

Avatar
#41 Moony
November 27 2008, 12:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Socrates: You can't seriously believe that? If 7 of your top 9 forwards are underachieving I think you need to start looking at the coach.

Avatar
#42 David S
November 27 2008, 01:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I give alot of credit to what Soctrates is saying. And after 5 days off, it would have been alot to ask that guys be in top form (they played better in their B2B games for the most part). Still, it seems to me that a shitnami of a trade has to be in the works. We're a goalie to heavy and desperately needing a game-breaker and/or a true Glen-X replacement.

At the end of the day though, we have a bunch of guys who should be putting the puck in the net that are massively underperforming. Is that MacT's fault? Can't say 100% of it anyways. These guys are supposed to be professionals aren't they?

Avatar
#43 shakey
November 27 2008, 01:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Socrates, we've heard all this before, Mac T got us to the finals...look at the injuries...blah blah blah. We do need to move some excess weight hanging around and the diet starts behind the bench. He's had 8 years to show us how good of a coach he is and if we haven't missed the playoffs, we've finished 8th...every year he's been coaching. Are you telling me that Gagne deserves the ice time he's getting, especially on the penalty kill? I went to Rexall drugs looking for this valium you speak of and they said they had a rush order go out to the Oilers dressing room before the Kings game, enough for about 15 to 16 people and then they sold right out after the Kings game...roughly 17000 were served.

Avatar
#44 Chris
November 27 2008, 01:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I don't see the problem. I've seen drastic improvemnet over the 07/08 Oilers. First of all we are ahead of Dallas in the standings. Dallas! Also, last year we only had eight wins through the first 21 games. Smashed that! Oh Yeah!!!!

Avatar
#45 JB
November 27 2008, 01:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'd say that given the roster changes the last few years, the "You can't fire the players" addage has been challenged; when does the coach become accountable for the lack of success? When does the franchise move beyond the "scramble to secure the 8th spot" stage? Perhaps that was okay when the club was struggling to survive, but in the current system, I would argue it is unacceptable.

Avatar
#46 Dennis
November 27 2008, 01:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Excellent job on that Penner quip!

Avatar
#47 The Towel Boy
November 27 2008, 01:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

www.sadtrombone.com

...that's all I've got.

Avatar
#48 Chris
November 27 2008, 01:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

We still have five or six guys from the cup run...Let's change them out too! Just because Lupil, Cole, Penner, Pitkanen, Garon, etc haven't worked out doesn't mean it's time for a coaching change...Let's package up Hemsky, Horcoff, and Roli for some grinders...real MacT type players. It's time we gave MacT an oppertunity to succeed!

Avatar
#49 MJ
November 27 2008, 01:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

To expand on Chris' thought, I figured I'd take a closer look at 07-08 versus 08-09 in terms of some basic numbers.

2007-08 Oilers after 21 games: 8-12-1 for 17 points GP at home: 10 GP on road: 11 GF: 49 GA: 68

2008-09 Oilers after 21 games: 9-10-2 for 20 points GP at home: 7 GP on road: 14 GF: 54 GA: 64

See people, we're an improved hockey club! We've scored 5 more goals and let 4 fewer in and we have 3 more points while having an arguably tougher schedule with more road games.

See? There's nothing wrong with the team. Honest. *clug clug* Love that Kool-aid. Laforge came and delivered me a fresh case this morning.

Avatar
#50 freeze
November 27 2008, 01:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

at least we didn't pick a fight/bet with Battle of California.

we are learning. why aren't they?

Comments are closed for this article.