The Shitathalon at Rexall Place

Wanye
November 27 2008 09:49AM

My oh my, what a game THAT was last night wasn’t it? We don’t know what y’all think right now, but we are sensing that the Oil aren’t exactly firing on all cylinders at the moment. Call us crazy, but when MacT was yammering on about ‘quelling optimism’ prior to the season starting this isn’t what we had in mind come November 27th.

Look how upset they've made David Staples! We can positively feel the rage coming through the screen over at Cult of Hockey:

“Tonight I post more in sadness than in anger. Something is wrong with the Edmonton Oilers and it's painful to behold. What is up? I give up. This team is FUBAR. OK, maybe I am a bit ticked off, too.”

Well congratulations, Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club. You have made David Staples not only give up, but use an acronym that contains a swear word. Never did we think we would see the day. You know how he gets when he’s ticked off! What’s wrong with you? Random passersby at the Journal are hit with whisky bottles. Ammunition sales go through the roof. Diamonds Gentleman’s Club reports “a really nice guy sitting in the back corner, nursing a Bud Light for most of the afternoon and mumbling something about ‘error stats.’”

For shame.

For those of you not paying attention the Oil currently have a defenceman that hasn’t scored in 75 games playing the wing, the starting goalie inexplicably rides the pine and the team dentist is currently acting in a capacity as the team orthodontist. What’s next? A squirrel acting as the announcer?

Pop Quiz

Kings come in for back to back games in Alberta. They appropriately lose to the Flames, and fly into Edmonton the following night to face a team that has had five days off. Who do you think would win? The Oilers or the Kings? Did we mention that the opposing team is the Kings? Note: Kings = basically a fifth seeded AHL team that missed a connecting flight at LAX and stayed the winter.

Did you guess the Oil? Wrong!

(Gunshot goes off, body drops to floor)

I would rather go over to the Oilers website and read Tom Gilbert talking about taking Steve Staios’ kids for sushi then witness another game of this shitastical quality. Hey Tom -- we have something you could write about. For a moment, stop enflaming the loins of your 15-year-old female readers by disclosing your ambitions to see High School Musical 3. Instead maybe you could appease the zillions of voting-age fans in the OilersNation and throw us out a win or two. How does that sound “Gilbs?” After all, you have all gone to the trouble of coming up here for the winter, we have bought all these tickets and stuff. Maybe you and your co-workers could stop the suck for a month or two and put yourself in a playoff position?

Make David Staples say FUBAR... For shame!

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Chris
November 27 2008, 01:25PM
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MJ. Seriously Dude. Check the confernce standings. We are ahead of Dallas. Dallas! It doesn't get any better than that! Lowe, Tambo, MacT... You guys are geniuses!

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#52 Chris
November 27 2008, 01:32PM
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If we had played 10 games at home this year and 11 on the road we would only have 16 points right now based on home and away records. So I guess maybe this team isn't as improved as I thought. Thanks a lot MJ! And to think for just a minute there I really belived this team was vastly imroved with 9 wins through 21 as opposed to just 8. Staples is right...FUBAR!

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#53 MJ
November 27 2008, 01:38PM
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Ahaha fantastic analysis Chris. Isn't it fun to play hockey by numbers?

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#54 Chris
November 27 2008, 01:40PM
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Just ask Willis...

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#55 Clarkenstein
November 27 2008, 01:57PM
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How come none of the local media asked MacTavish what they were doing for the last 6 days and why it didn't work last night?

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#56 milli
November 27 2008, 01:58PM
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Socrates, is that really MacT???? Come on, injuries??? Right where we should be??? MacT, get back to work and quit trolling the board secretly defending yourself.

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#57 Mother Pucker Hockey
November 27 2008, 02:54PM
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Haha that Horcoff image at the top is ingenious.

I was at the game last night and was thoroughly disappointed with the effort. At one point half way through the first it was 12-4 shots in favor of the Kings... absolutely embarrassing!!

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#58 Yo' Mama!
November 27 2008, 03:08PM
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We already have a squirel announcer. Rob "Plugs" Brown

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#59 Jason Gregor
November 27 2008, 04:39PM
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Moony,

I have spoken with many players from different teams, and some head coaches will have meeting while others don't feel it is that necessary. I would like one if I was a players, especially a new player coming in. Some head coaches leave those discussions to the assistants. Why? I have no idea, but there aren't a lot of one-on-one head coach/player meetings in Edmonton. Maybe there should be more. Right now anything different can't hurt.

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#60 Sing A Song For SingSing
November 27 2008, 05:09PM
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Ahaha, Mr Lahey.

The shit-rope indeed rings true for MacT at this point.

Everything about it defines his daily troubles as a head coach to a TEE.

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#61 Zamboni Driver
November 27 2008, 05:47PM
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Wow....Spec has a source.

AND a player?!

http://sportsnet.ca/hockey/2008/11/27/mact_fiture/

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#62 T
November 27 2008, 07:39PM
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TORTORELA!!!!!!!!!!!

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#63 Newsman
November 27 2008, 09:38PM
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People fail to understand how the Oilers control the sports media in Edmonton. They do play favorites with those who are less than frank with the team/organization's shortcomings.

There is no accountability in the mainstream media in Edmonton. Witness a certain EJ sports columnist who can cut other teams an organizations, blast anonymous callers to radio shows and shoot down bloggers.

He can do all this but nary a negative word about local sports. And this is the best PAID media can do in Etown? We get the team we deserve. Let's see some empty seats in the stands and see what happens.

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#64 Moony
November 28 2008, 08:01AM
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Thanks Gregor,

I couldn't agree with you more. I know if i went to a new employer and my Manager never took 10 minutes to sit down and talk to me, I would be very unengaged in my role.

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#65 R-Gib
November 28 2008, 10:51AM
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Hey Wanye, just took a look over here at ON and noticed you also poking fun at Gilbert. I too posted something similar yesterday. This guy did play hockey at a college, right? Because his prose reads like a teenage girls. He may not have attended many classes, but you would hope that surrounded by many bright kids on campus would've rubbed off a little.

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#66 S-OD
November 28 2008, 12:06PM
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I am just not feeling the love or respect from the players towards Mac T anymore. You watch the footage from practice during the pieces on TV and they look comatose when he is talking. Im not saying they should be standing at attention, but come on! And now we have players speaking out anonymously...The way he handled the Penner thing was terrible. Coaches need to stand behind their players and vice versa. They have to nip this in the bud before we have got a locker room mutiny on our hands.

Another 10 games of uninspired hockey like this with and the Oilers seriously need to change up their coaching line up.

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