GDB12: Logo: 1 Wanye: 0

Wanye
November 05 2008 11:30AM

So as you know, the Oilers play the Blue Jackets tonight in Columbus at 5:30pm MST. What you don’t know is that we have a terrible confession to make. We must warn you—anyone who thinks that we are a “sentient being” may not want to read on as we are revealed to be a blathering idiot.

Last night we were watching the election in the US—we will spare you the tale of how happy we are with the results—and the topic quickly turned to the Oil and the week ahead. We go to the main page of the Nation to see the upcoming game and we see this logo:

This was the exact moment when one of the most terrible realizations of our lives hit us in the face like a Mike Tyson uppercut--pre crazy days.

Ready for this?

For however long the Blue Jackets have had this god awful logo—we have believed it was the All Star Game logo. We are that stupid. “But Wanye, don’t you watch sports highlights?” Yeah we do, but whenever Columbus comes on the screen we generally let our mind wander to other topics like monkey knife fights and rocket shoes. Seriously, what happened to this logo?

What happened to the dink mascot “Stinger?” Is he still around?

Yep, life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and take a look around once in awhile—you could miss it. Why on Earth would Columbus adopt a near identical logo to the All Star Game logo? Is the NHL Logo Design Department™ seriously running that thin on ideas?

Logo Guy 1: “Hey Gary—we need a logo for Columbus and we need it stat! That dink mascot was just caught driving down (insert Columbus road name here) with a dead hooker in the trunk. He needs to disappear—and fast.”

Logo Guy 2: “Uh... Uh... (runs around in a panic)”

Logo Guy 1: “Damn it Gary—now isn’t the time for panic! We need a logo and quick!”

Logo Guy 2: “We could... uh... (soils himself under extreme pressure)”

Logo Guy 1: “Ok think Richard, think. (massages head) Remember your training. You are the creative force that designed all 14 of the Phoenix Coyotes logos. You know you have it in you somewhere to design quality logos in a fraction of the time.”

(Spies all star game logo on the wall.)

Yep, it must have happened just like that.

I hate you Columbus Blue Jackets logo. I hate you so much.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 baggedmilk
November 05 2008, 11:46AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

The mascot did not actually disappear. He's in plain view at all times. Unfortunately for "Stinger" Ken Hitchcock decided to roll him in batter and sauces, pan fried him and polished it off with a nice frosty Pilsner.

Avatar
#2 Ender the Dragon
November 05 2008, 12:37PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Wayne, is that really you in the photo? I just really liked the vest and was hoping you could tell me where you got it. Très Chic.

Avatar
#3 GSC
November 05 2008, 01:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

As an Ohio Oiler fan, I must say I'm shocked and appalled by this lack of info in this situ (thanks to the Commish of the MTL for the vocabulary).

Obviously, the flag is the State of Ohio flag. The star represents the Union army (Blue Jackets) during the Civil War. It could also represent the fact that Columbus is Ohio's capital city (usually marked by a star on a map), but let's not get too complicated.

In any event, it beats the hell out of that retarded neon green bug that forced the club to utilize neon green in their equipment (mainly gloves) and in doing so made them look even more like a AHL team (as if their on-ice performance wasn't enough to convince the masses).

I wish I could be in C-Bus for the game tonight, but alas I'll be in attendance tomorrow in Pittsburgh. Either way, 3-4 points out of another back-to-back road set would taste pretty good...

Avatar
#4 Chaz
November 05 2008, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hey Wayne,

What do you think of the following comment David Staples made about Grebs?

"On defence, Denis Grebeshkov has been scoring even strength points at a fine rate, one point every 38 minutes of play, while his defensive work has also been strong, at least according to this stat, just one goal-causing error for every 76 minutes he has played."

I know you're not a big fan, but it seems like I'm not the only one to think he's not playing BAAAAAAAAAAAAd. Ouch. That was weak....

Anyways, as I said in pre-season give my boy Grebs some time and patience. I know he makes bonehead moves at times, but I really feel he'll develop into an allstar. If not, I guess he could always apply for the vacant mascot position in Cloumbus.

I'm not saying, I'm just saying....

Avatar
#5 Jason Gregor
November 05 2008, 01:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Speaking of Grebs, he won't play tonight. His melon still isn't 100% so he is out. Expect Smid to play with Gilbert again and Staios with Strudwick.

Sounds like Stortini might be in tonight in place of MacIntyre.

And Roloson is in.

Avatar
#6 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 02:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Ender -

That isn't actually me. A photo of me requires a $100 fee to be paid to my Swiss bank account months in advance. Damn it I'm so pretty.

GSC -

Good to have you on board sir. I am happy to know we have a man on the ground tomorrow in PIT. Any thoughts/pics you have from down there would be welcome.

Chaz -

"Denis Grebeshkov has been scoring even strength points at a fine rate, one point every 38 minutes of play"

One point every 38 minutes of play? What the hell kind of unit of measurement is that? Did you know that Tom Gilbert skated over 11 kms last game and his body temperature was 34 degrees at one point in the second period?

No thanks - I'll pass.

The day Grebs stops giving pucks away like they are Twizzlers at Hallowe'en I will start to believe. Until that day it's nothing but 24/7/365 goat jokes for all.

Avatar
#7 The Towel Boy
November 05 2008, 03:05PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Denis also exhales 33.6 times per pass, in the neutral zone...on Thursdays...in cities that end in R.

Avatar
#8 Jonathan Willis
November 05 2008, 03:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

David Staples feels that things should be expressed 1 Time/X Minutes.

Anarchist.

Avatar
#9 baggedmilk
November 05 2008, 03:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

During happy time goat boy is firing at about 200 beats per minute.

Avatar
#10 GSC
November 05 2008, 03:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Wanye,

Your wish is my command. As a preview, I present you with some good lookin' Oiler fan getting his mug on the Sportsnet West feed during Sunday's game in Philadelphia...

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d99/oilerfan05/GSC3.png

Avatar
#11 BUCK75
November 05 2008, 04:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=hfW6pUgTYMc

Avatar
#12 BUCK75
November 05 2008, 04:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

During happy time goat boy is firing at about 200 beats per minute.

Capra hircus, left to their own devices, compete for rank, and the highest ranking males have access to mate with the females. Males fight by butting heads until one competitor surrenders. Until goat boy is un-concust, he won't have to worry about his heartrate during happytime.

Avatar
#13 sandyyyyy
November 05 2008, 05:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hey - that picture looks exactly like you!! but normally you have less clothes on right?

Avatar
#14 freeze
November 05 2008, 05:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

stream is here: http://www.justin.tv/bsod404

and "Hi Every-body!"

Avatar
#15 Jason Gregor
November 05 2008, 05:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

MacIntyre is in...not Stortini...clearly MacTavish is starting to like him more and more.

Avatar
#16 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 05:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Scary stuff early.

Avatar
#17 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 05:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

MacIntyre is in…not Stortini…clearly MacTavish is starting to like him more and more.

Well, it's a simple equation:

2 MIN MacIntyre + 6 MIN Hemsky/Cole

or

8 MIN Stortini

Avatar
#18 baggedmilk
November 05 2008, 05:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

baggedmilk is in the building...

Avatar
#19 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 05:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Cool. I get home just in time to catch Columbus getting no less than 14000 chances. Solid start.

Avatar
#20 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 05:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

GIVE IT TO MACINTYRE!!! GIVE IT TO MACINTYRE!!

Avatar
#21 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 05:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

And the 4th line turns an offensive zone faceoff with the top defensive pairing against Columbus' third line into an offensive shift for Columbus.

Good stuff.

Avatar
#22 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 05:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Sorry I'm late. May I come aboard sirs?

Avatar
#23 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 05:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Smid's only known weakness. A minor tap in the face with a glove.

Avatar
#24 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 05:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

All aboard. Next stop....PLEASURE TOWN!

Avatar
#25 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 05:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

BOINGALOINGALOING!

Avatar
#26 baggedmilk
November 05 2008, 05:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Personally I find that Pierre Mcguire is a brilliant hockey mind. His loud ramblings enlighten me as I struggle to follow this ice hockey game. The way he describes his "monsters" lets me know what it is to be a hockey player.

Avatar
#27 New Guy
November 05 2008, 05:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Don't shoot at the corners when you aren't scoring?

WHAT KIND OF ADVICE IS THAT????

Avatar
#28 freeze
November 05 2008, 05:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hit the net Lubo!

Avatar
#29 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 05:53PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Not a fan of McGuire? Fox just ran a recording of some random JAcket with the "keys to the game":

"Play a solid 60 minutes Get pucks through on the powerplay Beware of Edmonton's speed in the neutral zone"

Thank goodness for that.

Avatar
#30 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 05:53PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

If Pierre Maguire asked me to shave his head I would totally do it.

With my teeth.

Avatar
#31 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 05:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Hey, Smid's back!

Avatar
#32 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 05:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

If I was a Columbus fan I'd hope that Ken Hitchcock was watching that. Sound advice for sure.

Avatar
#33 baggedmilk
November 05 2008, 05:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Wanye, you shave. I shine.

Avatar
#34 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 05:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Is this the most ex-oilers on one team since the 94 Rangers, or.

Avatar
#35 New Guy
November 05 2008, 05:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

JS-

The new Kings have a boat load of overpaid Oilers too

Avatar
#36 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 06:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I see the passing is as crisp as a year old tomato. Nice pass Smid - directly to Moreau's face. Hopefully his stick is taped to his grill....

Avatar
#37 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 06:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

MacIntyre - needs a second effort on the dump in. Awesome.

Avatar
#38 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 06:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Brodziak, you goon.

Avatar
#39 1011011
November 05 2008, 06:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I am at work and can't read the game. If you a) can't see the game b) can't hear the game online cause of a streaming ban and c) can't hear the game cause you don't have a radio reading the comments here ain't all bad!

PS You suck Wanye

Avatar
#40 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 06:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"You suck Wanye"

That's what she said. To the OTHER girl

Avatar
#41 BUCK75
November 05 2008, 06:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Listening to game while cooking supper - Boby sounds good, first time I have heard him not do golden bears.

Avatar
#42 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 06:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Joel Otto reference. Everybody drink.

Avatar
#43 New Guy
November 05 2008, 06:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

HUGE Hit Staios

Avatar
#44 Jonathan
November 05 2008, 06:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

HUUGEE HIT BY STAIOS!

Avatar
#45 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 06:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Jason Chimera used to clean clubs at the golf course I play at.

NO JOKE

Avatar
#46 freeze
November 05 2008, 06:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

what is with our starts! my god.

Avatar
#47 Wanye Gretz
November 05 2008, 06:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Q: What do Columbus and Lance Armstrong have in common?

A: They both have one Boll

Avatar
#48 jeanshorts
November 05 2008, 06:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"The former Oiler"

Is there really a point in saying that? Because they are going to have to say it at least 850,000 times tonight if that's the case.

Avatar
#49 BUCK75
November 05 2008, 06:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Jason Chimera used to clean clubs at the golf course I play at

Whitemud Amusement Park?

Avatar
#50 baggedmilk
November 05 2008, 06:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I still hold a grudge against Mike Peca for not growing a playoff beard. If he would have let it go past a day or two he would have looked like a yeti.

Comments are closed for this article.