GDB 13: It's on

Wanye
November 06 2008 10:19AM

Of all the games the Oilers have played so far this year, tonight’s is by far the biggest.

"But why Wanye? It's just another game isn't it?" Are you kidding? The results of this game will cement our reputation with a bunch of strangers in Pittsburgh! Oilers win, they’ll all hate us. Oilers lose, they’ll all hate us. Who can live with the uncertainty!?

This is why gambling was invented by Eduardo Las Vegas in 1879—to make sports more interesting. We took up the cause started by our boys over at jeanshortsandbaggedmilk, who have been deftly battling with this huge blog in Pittsburgh all by themselves.

We aren't going to leave our friends fighting solo. It's like in Junior High School when your friend would get challenged to a schoolyard fight. What do you do? You third-man-in and crack the kid in the skull with your Thermos! Take that Jeremy Tandrup, age ten. Don't mess with our crew. We have never been afraid to get involved in any nonsense that comes our way.

So we contacted these dudes at pensblog. They ignored our email. Then we chirped them. Then they claimed they didn't get the email. Then we went out of town and ignored them. Then made contact and the bet is cemented.

Why should you care about the game tonight? Oilers win, the pensblog will purchase the first two NationGear T-shirts off the line in Dec 2008; we’ll give them to two lucky citizens of the Nation. Oilers lose, we have to buy two of their T-shirts for giveaways to their fans. Oh and the loser has to write an article explaining the awesomeness of the winning city.

"But Wanye you don't got no money. You ain’t gonna pay for no T-shirts!" That's right Nation. Oilers lose tonight and your ol' pal Wanye is going to have to sell an eyeball. Ever see Pirate Wanye with an eye patch? It ain't pretty.

Oh and Justice League? We hear that Pens fans will be in attendance tonight.

It's on.

—Wanna talk to your ol’ pal Wanye? E-mail him at wanyegretz@gmail.com.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 jdrevenge
November 06 2008, 10:52AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

booyakasha!

Avatar
#2 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 10:55AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

This biznatch just got real. Real like my love of Dave Coulier when he was Uncle Joey on Full House. That's the big time.

Avatar
#3 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 11:04AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Alright, so all we need to do is score a lot of goals, don't make so many mistakes at their blue line, or in our own zone more importantly, stop giving the puck away, play better defensively, stay out of the box, have solid goaltending and shut down two of the best players in the league.

This ones in the bag!

Avatar
#4 tricksnard
November 06 2008, 11:05AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Stuck at the sens game tonight, but I'll be watching the out of town scoreboard with more vigor and interest than when Wanye watches 2 sisters and a horse go at it in Calgary.

Ok, that made no sense at all.

Avatar
#5 Tombo
November 06 2008, 11:22AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Its on like Donkey Kong byyyatch! Hahaha

Pittsburgh is all hype, they'll be begging for mercy when all is said and done!

Avatar
#6 RobinB
November 06 2008, 12:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Wanye: It's on?

With all this talk about throwing down, you'd think there was going to be some real knuckles and saliva flying tonight instead of a nerdfest where a bunch of pasty-faced pencil-necks from different cities give each other the internet stink-eye.

And T-shirts? What, you couldn't hold out for Pensblog pocket protectors?

Mercy, it should be a real brawl here, a slugfest! Just one thing, tough guys -- when you make a fist, the thumb goes on the outside of the fingers, not on the inside.

Avatar
#7 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 12:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

*pushes up taped glasses and straightens suspenders*

I resent that, Robin.

Avatar
#8 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 12:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

nerdfest where a bunch of pasty-faced pencil-necks from different cities give each other the internet stink-eye.

You sound like my gf...

OMG - I am one of "those" guys.

Avatar
#9 Rev
November 06 2008, 12:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Oh Robin - that is the best burn I have heard since the "Warrior Incident".

Avatar
#10 freeze
November 06 2008, 12:54PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Peckham is on the way. Is Smid out?

I'm glad this is an early game, I have things to do tonight!

Avatar
#11 The Towel Boy
November 06 2008, 01:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Oh man, I can't wait for the smack down to begin.

I'm all over this like Joey Jeremiah on Caitlin circa 1987.

Avatar
#12 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 01:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I’m all over this like Joey Jeremiah on Caitlin circa 1987

I think you mean Snake on Spike

Avatar
#13 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

TB I went as Joey Jeremiah for Halloween. Good form, sir.

Avatar
#14 Rick
November 06 2008, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Robin; Make a fist?

How the hell can some of these guys expect to scratch someone when their hands are all balled up like that?

Avatar
#15 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"I think you mean Snake on Spike"

I think YOU mean Shane on Spike.

Avatar
#16 The Towel Boy
November 06 2008, 01:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Jeeze, early game? I need to start training, and fast!!! cue the montage...

80's rock song begins here

{me lifting stuff}

{me punching stuff}

{me jogging}

80's rock song bridge w/guitar solo

{me lifting heavier stuff}

{me punching stuff faster and harder}

{me running flat out with Wanye following behind in his 92 Pontiac Firefly}

80's rock song outro

{me meditating}

{me looking fierce and intimidating}

End montage

Avatar
#17 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 01:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

My training consists of nothing but Tiger Upper Cuts and Hor-yoo-kin fireballs.

Avatar
#18 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 01:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Lol - I guess so.

Avatar
#19 The Towel Boy
November 06 2008, 01:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

...I was always a fan of the 1000 hand slap by E. Honda.

Avatar
#20 Tommy Salo
November 06 2008, 01:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

It's pretty simple: get Crosby and Malkin off their game. If there was ever a good game to dress both MacIntyre and Stortini on separate lines - this would be the time.

My ideal lineups:

Penner - Horcoff - Hemsky Moreau - Cogliano - Gagner MacIntyre - Pisani - Cole Nilsson - Brodziak - Stortini

Souray - Lubo Strudwick - Staios Peckham - Gilbert

And key in on the annoying of Malkin and Crosby all night. Get in their face. Give them face washes. Slew foot them. Whatever it takes. If Freddy Modin and other guys like Laperriere aren't giving the Oilers any respect - then screw the rest of the league. Run the Crosbys and Malkins.

GOILERS and I hope we win the bet with the PensBlog!

Avatar
#21 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 01:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I've already been called "goatnuts and bagged(crap)" over at pensblog. And I haven't even made fun of them yet. It's going to be a fun one tonight, that's for sure.

Avatar
#22 Tombo
November 06 2008, 02:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"It’s pretty simple: get Crosby and Malkin off their game. If there was ever a good game to dress both MacIntyre and Stortini on separate lines - this would be the time."

Dear god NO... stick a guy in our lineup that can barely skate against two of the best players in the world? That's madness!

Avatar
#23 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 02:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

goatnuts and bagged(crap)

I like how the genius tried to phonetically try to sound out a Canadian accent in the rest of the post...

Avatar
#24 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 02:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

If all they can come up with is lame Canadian jokes once again, they are in for a long night.

Avatar
#25 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 02:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Urban Dictionary: Penguin

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=penguin

Take your pick...

Avatar
#26 RobinB
November 06 2008, 02:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Ooooooooooohhhhhh. Somebody's going to get their glasses slapped right off, mister.

Avatar
#27 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 02:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

First of all baggedmilk is full of nutricious delight. baggedcrap is what I like dumped on me in times of passion.

Avatar
#28 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 02:13PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

"baggedcrap is what I like dumped on me in times of passion."

I'll take mine fresh from the source thank you.

Avatar
#29 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 02:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Robin, I will slap that mustache/goatie combo right off your face if you're talking to me. If not... I will shower you with the affection only a mother would give.

Avatar
#30 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 02:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

I'm getting rid of my hardwood floors strictly for the penguin encounters.

I think baggedcrap is a side effect of a penguin.

Avatar
#31 DJ Spyn Cycle
November 06 2008, 02:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

BM, you talk a big game. Little do you know Brownlee's moustache could singlehandedly take on you and JS. It's like the Chuck Norris of facial hair.

Avatar
#32 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 02:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

DJ, much like Chuck Norris I don't sleep... I wait.

Avatar
#33 DJ Spyn Cycle
November 06 2008, 02:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Yeah, you wait, all right: for Brownlee's moustache to hand you your ass.

I'm not joking, dude. Once, Wanye and I had lunch with Brownlee, and he had both of us in headlocks while he ate a club sandwich and somehow simultaneously gave us noogies. It was awkward.

Avatar
#34 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 02:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

That is raw power and brute force right there. I retract my statement and offer to groon his power stash.

Avatar
#35 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 02:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Make that groom. Spelling is overrated.

Avatar
#36 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 02:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Brownlee, serious moment here. What's this business that I'm reading over at Oilfans that you boys were talking on 1260 about a rumor that Ryan Smyth could be coming back? That would be a huge waste of cap space for what he brings to the table.

Avatar
#37 Wanye Gretz
November 06 2008, 02:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Why is Robin beaking me? What am I supposed to do exactly? Fly down to Pittsburgh and walk around looking for complete strangers to sucker punch?

At least I can admit that I am CHEERING for the Oilers unlike someone we know ....

Someone who "claims" he isn't an Oilers fan - just an observer.....

Someone who is actually deep deep down a gigantic Oilers fan and has been for the 347 years he has covered the Oilers.....

Someone who is secretly excited to see what I write in the event the Oilers win and I get to address the PensBlog personally.....

Someone who's name rhymes with "Bobin Rownlee...."

Ringing any bells?

Avatar
#38 The Towel Boy
November 06 2008, 02:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Smyth back? wtf. Didn't he sign for like for a million bucks/inch of mullet and like 5 years in Colorado?

Besides, there's only room for one mullet in this town. Mine.

Avatar
#39 The Towel Boy
November 06 2008, 02:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Someone who’s name rhymes with “Bobin Rownlee….”

Are you talking about Mobin Hownlee?

Avatar
#40 milli
November 06 2008, 02:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Oh man I can't wait to see this one, are they showing the gretz / brownlee on PPV or will it just be on sportsnet?

Avatar
#41 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 03:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

They'll probably show it on sportsnet. But it will be regionally blacked out. For the entire country.

Avatar
#42 Rick
November 06 2008, 03:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

baggedmilk: If they are referring to the same segment on Ryan Smyth that I heard the other day, it's nothing.

Someone called or e-mailed in and said they heard some a rumour of Smyth for Rollie and Brodziak and something else (or something along those lines) and Bryn said it was nonesense. They couldn't even search out a reference on the internet.

However, for some inexplicable reason they just threw it out there for the callers to discuss...as in "would you want Ryan Smyth back?"

That said if we are asking Robin questions, are you hearing anything similar to what Mark Spector was reporting about the Oilers considering to move Garon instead of Rollie?

Avatar
#43 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 03:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Gah I just realized I'm probably going to miss the first period! ZOINDS! I guess you guys will just have to pick up the slack, hold down the fort, give 110%, et al in my absence.

Avatar
#44 Greg MC
November 06 2008, 03:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Unlike Pissburgh, most of us have actually played the game.

Avatar
#45 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 03:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Rick: Thank the good Bob McKenzie for that. Don't get me wrong I loved Smitty but his cap hit is ridiculous. Props for actually getting that money but the Avs will have a hard time trying to move him if they actually did want to.

Avatar
#46 Ali Quippa
November 06 2008, 04:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

@jeanshorts: Unless your name is Michelle Duggar, there is no excuse for missing a period.

Avatar
#47 jeanshorts
November 06 2008, 04:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

To steal TB's gimmick:

http://www.instantrimshot.com/

Avatar
#48 BUCK75
November 06 2008, 04:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Michelle Duggar

LOL - 18 on the way...

http://www.duggarfamily.com/

Avatar
#49 charlie
November 06 2008, 04:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

Michelle Duggar!?!

Wow. What a beauty. That's the greatest comment in the history of Oilers Nation.

Avatar
#50 baggedmilk
November 06 2008, 04:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
+1
0
props

By now I think the Duggar kids just fall out. They lay a netting out and down they fall.

Comments are closed for this article.