We were THIS close to laughing our asses off at your demise

Wanye
November 07 2008 07:51AM

Well it isn't very often that you're down 5-0 and come back to make a game of it now is it, Nation? It also isn't very often you have a bird fly right up your wang hole while you are letting out a quick one at the side of the highway. Just 'cause something is rare doesn't mean it's good. We lost our bet with the pensblog. Fine. The Oilers lost too. Fine. But at least we have our dignity.

So here we go. Bye bye dignity.

*Ahem*

Oh how we wished we lived in Pittsburgh! We would drive across one of the three nearly identical bridges - the 6th, 7th, and the 9th Street - that connect Downtown with the North Side. We would eat a regular hearty evening meal at the elegant William Penn Hotel and then retire to our bed chambers and let the sexy Sonni Abatta serenade us to sleep with her nightly newscast on KDKA TV. Once asleep, we would have a nightmare that Roethlisberger fell off another bike and cracked his coconut in two. But when we awoke we would quickly calm down after a few deep breaths of Pennsylvania air and all would be well again.

Yes if only we lived in Pittsburgh. We could really envision a life there. Provided we could stomach Pirates baseball, shitty traffic and taking our life in our hands every time we ventured over to the Igloo for a game. We wouldn't live our life reflecting on the glory years of Gretzky anymore, we could fondly remember Lemieux and take comfort in how he classily maintains a stall in the dressing room though he hasn't suited up in years. Yes, we can see why players wouldn't want to play and live in the snowy hinterlands of Edmonton when they can play and live in the snowy hinterlands of... Pittsburgh.

If it were up to us, everyone at the PensBlog would all be receiving one of these.

But instead it will be whatever those pensbloggians decide we have to buy. What could T-shirts possibly cost? Three or four dollars?

Five Cups to two right, Pens fans?

Ugh. We're going to Anaheim. We will check in from the road.

WGIV

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 BUCK75
November 07 2008, 08:11AM
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The "plan" almost worked, on to greater things now.

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#2 Cole
November 07 2008, 08:21AM
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The Oilers played terrible in the first 38 minutes of the game, why does it seem like they cant get going until they face adversity? Beauty goal by Hemmer though, at least they are staying afloat during the roadie, if they can stay around .500 till they get home they will be fine. Lets not forget they started last year at 5 wins and 10 losses, it is a better start and they will be fine. Keep believing Oiler fans.

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#3 New Guy
November 07 2008, 08:22AM
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Ah Wanye you are rich - what's two T-Shirts to a Hungarian Prince?

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#4 jeanshorts
November 07 2008, 08:47AM
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"Lets not forget they started last year at 5 wins and 10 losses"

This is very true. Although I don't think a 6 and 10 start would be much of an improvement. I guess it's easy to forget the fact that our start has been better than previous years, what with all those high expectations and such. I really like that we bitch and complain when the team loses 2 or 3 games and start chilling the champagne when they win. At least it shows how much gusto and machismo the fans have. Not like those fair weather Phoenix Coyotes fans. Damn snowbirds!

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#5 Lubo71
November 07 2008, 09:03AM
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You are going to Anaheim? Have fun Wanye!

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#6 The Towel Boy
November 07 2008, 09:29AM
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Who saw this coming?

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#7 baggedmilk
November 07 2008, 09:34AM
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So close yet so far, but as mentioned how about Hemsky's goal last night. Good grief I felt the blood draining from my head to my... head.

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#8 Rick
November 07 2008, 09:45AM
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Cole: Lets not forget they started last year at 5 wins and 10 losses, it is a better start and they will be fine.

...

I am thinking along similar lines as you.

Going back even more years that that and it would appear that the Oilers aren't in a horrible position.

Maybe the increased expectations have jaded the way we see things this year but so far they are keeping their noses above the water line.

Over the last few years a .500 start was viewed as a good thing.

However, now the real test is just about to start because if history truly does repeat itself the Oilers have just reached the point of the season where they always seem to see their record go down the crapper for a half dozen games or so.

This next stretch of games will prove more important than how they started the season in terms of showing wether there has been any improvement over last years squad.

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#9 The Towel Boy
November 07 2008, 10:02AM
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I went here to cheer myself up last night.

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#10 Chaz
November 07 2008, 10:12AM
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This team is so Jekyl and Hyde, they are going to give me a heart attack. For the first 30 minutes last night they looked like they belonged in the AHL, then they almost erase a 5 goal deficit against an elite team in the final half of the game. It's feast or famine with these guys.

Dan Tencer was saying last night that you can't blame the coaches for their slow starts to games, but I disagree. Good coaches demand good starts and consistency and this team can't seem to manage either right now, even in games they win. I like Mac T, but eventually he has to get the best of his team from the start of each game, and for more than the second half of each game, or he'll pay the price with his job. Maybe not fair, but that's pro hockey. We have to demand more now so we aren't on the outside looking in come April. It worked for Washington last year.

BTW: Good on you Wayne et al for having faith and making that bet with the Pengweenie Bloggers. We were coming off a game the night before while they had a four day break and it was still close. Way to walk the walk boys! You made the ON proud!

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#11 The Towel Boy
November 07 2008, 10:16AM
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Man, two losses and back on the fire MacT train already. Sigh.

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#12 Chaz
November 07 2008, 10:32AM
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I didn't say fire Mac T right now, I just said he has to get better starts and more consistency out of his team soon, and if not he will be on the chopping block. These seem to be chronic problems right now, and is what is holding them back from being an elite team. When they play well, they can skate with any team out there. He has to get them playing well sooner each game and more often.

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#13 Wanye Gretz
November 07 2008, 10:35AM
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"Way to walk the walk boys! You made the ON proud!"

Thanks Chaz. Let that be a warning to any other bloggers that trespass on the OilersNation. We will defend our territory with gambling as necessary.

THOU SHALL NOT PASS

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#14 milli
November 07 2008, 10:45AM
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I went here to cheer myself up last night.

Towel boy, I feel violated. I followed your link, expecting some sexi 50 year olds, and BAM.....sexi 70 year olds. OUCH!!!!

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#15 Kevin
November 07 2008, 10:50AM
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Not to whine, but WTF with the officiating last night? Crosby cross checks Peckam in the face - no call. Souray gets a penalty for roughing a guys who just slashed the goalie. Penner gets 2 for ultamely being stronger than the other player.

They played horrible for the first 38 minutes but the officiating was down right horrible. Dust yourselves off biys, pull you heads out of your arse, and get back to it!

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#16 The Towel Boy
November 07 2008, 10:54AM
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Yeah, I mean...I agree to a certain extent Chaz. MacT certainly is under the billionaire's microscope. The one thing that keeps KayZ happy, aside from swimming thru and diving into the coins in his McDuck Vault, is icing a competitive - winning team.

I sure wouldn't want someone screwin' with my new toy. So, in that regard, MacT better start winning.

Personally, I think he's a great coach. Knows the game real well, and honestly...I don't know who would replace him that would be that much better. I guess there is something to be said of the motivating factor that cleaning house and hiring a new coach, that could get some people motivated.

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#17 Bruthah
November 07 2008, 11:01AM
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I will say that Peckham's attempted sleugh-foot on His Highness did warrant a retaliation, but maybe not a crosscheck to the face. :D

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#18 Malkamania 71
November 07 2008, 11:16AM
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You guys still lost either way and to top it off when you guys were down you started playing dirty and taking cheap shots and diving you're lucky to have got what you got we slopped in the 3rd but we still out played you take your losses and go home! LETS GO PENS!!

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#19 BUCK75
November 07 2008, 11:29AM
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^ HAHAHAHAHAHA

you got us...

If your team wasn't trying to get Sykora that hat trick you would have WALKED all over us.

Enjoy your schwag courtesy of Wanye. CYA next year - enjoy your oiled up man models on your site...

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#20 Wanye Gretz
November 07 2008, 11:32AM
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They have Oiled up man models on their site?????

I'm going over there to cheer myself up

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#21 jeanshorts
November 07 2008, 11:41AM
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Once again, the pens fans have been nothing but gracious in their victory. If they are this way when they win a regular season game, I can't imagine how insufferable they were when they lost in the finals last year. Sheesh.

And Wanye, we are going to start a new video feature on our site, where baggedmilk and myself pudding wrestle for my dads affection. We don't know what to call it though.

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#22 Cole
November 07 2008, 11:53AM
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Stop your crying Malkalmania 71 your starting to sound like a Flames Fan.

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#23 Malkamania 71
November 07 2008, 11:55AM
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Oh WE are sore sport i'm pretty sure I just read on THIS particular blog someone complaining about the officials I'm pretty sure the officials were fair especially with the sh*t you guys pulled that didn't get called i'm not saying you guys didn't play well you just played dirty your guys should play for the flyers

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#24 baggedmilk
November 07 2008, 11:58AM
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After the game Michel Therrien was seen beating Petr Sykora for not scoring the third goal. He then returned home to beat his kids and have an angry self love session to 10 second clips left in his cache folder.

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#25 Wanye Gretz
November 07 2008, 12:18PM
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"Wanye, we are going to start a new video feature on our site, where baggedmilk and myself pudding wrestle for my dads affection. We don’t know what to call it though."

Is "The Satellite Hotstove" taken?

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#26 heed
November 07 2008, 12:33PM
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malkamania,

you can whine all you want but any team that signs matt cooke's pay check deserves anything that comes their way. poor peckham should have realized that cooke only fights when his opponent's back is to him.

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#27 BUCK75
November 07 2008, 01:04PM
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They have Oiled up man models on their site?????

WTF is the black dude in the orange speedo doing next to MAF?

Or the chipendale guy who seems to appear on the blog daily? Charlie?

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#28 Bruthah
November 07 2008, 01:11PM
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"Is “The Satellite Hotstove” taken?"

LOL, Nice one Wanye.

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#29 PensFan25
November 07 2008, 02:18PM
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Just dropping by to say that (1) I applaud you for putting your money where your mouth is and taking a wager with The Pensblog boys; and (2) not all Pens fans are sore winners/losers.

While watching the first period last night, I found myself saying "the Oilers are better than this. Are they just tired?" It would have been a nice back-and-forth game, I think, had the Oilers played the whole game like they did the 3rd period.

Guess we'll see you next season, Oilers Nation. Good luck!

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#30 the original charlie
November 07 2008, 03:05PM
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Awww that pensfan25 is a helluvaguy. Classy fans are what makes this sport great. Intersting that the post came shortly after the classiest post ever on the 'Nation, describing Therrien vigorously masturbating.

Bagged Milk, I tip my hat.

GO OILERS!!!

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#31 baggedmilk
November 07 2008, 04:03PM
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There's no other kind of masturbating is there? I would be worried if he lit candles and put on some Enya or something.

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#32 Jordan
November 07 2008, 05:13PM
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why we concern ourselves with the Pens? This is a franchise that constantly needed a franchise player to save their team from folding...

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