GDB 29: A plea to Santa

Wanye
December 16 2008 03:10PM

In honor of tonight’s game against the Blackhawks we are going to go out on a limb here and do something we don’t ordinarily do: give you Jason Gregor’s Visa number. 

No wait. It’s the holidays. We won’t do that.

What we will do is ask Santa for a different present this year. The past seven Christmases it has been the same thing over and over again: Deliver us Natalie Portman with a memory wiped clean of any other life than being Mrs. Wanye Gretz.

But this year it is a different matter altogether. This year Santa -- in your infinite wisdom as the God of Presents -– bring us four more winsies prior to the Christmas Break will you?

Yes Santa, we know and tremble before your might and power. We know we have angered you by not getting the NationStore up before Christmas thus disabling your ability to bring T-shirts to all the Citizens of the Nation who have demanded them under the tree. Still, we feel that we have behaved this year and really only need the following to be delivered for our lives to be complete:

Dec 16: Blackhawks - WIN Dec 17: Canucks - WIN Dec 19: Ducks - WIN Dec 22: Coyotes - WIN

If you can find this in your magic sack (that’s what she said) the Oil could go into Xmas in 18-12-2. Wouldn’t that be some a Christmas Miracle?

Oh and...

Don’t forget about our new contest either Nation.

Taking pictures of the game day experience all around the Nation and winning a $75 Hudson’s Gift Certificate for the best pictures of the month.

We had a bunch of entries yesterday from locations as far flung as Arizona and Okotoks, AB. Okotoks, Nation! A city so environmentally friendly that they recycle everything including their Christmas wishes! Reading the Nation! Will wonders ever cease?

Now normally most of our photos that end up on the internet involve ‘boudoir photography’ of the lowest quality. But tonight, we are going to be in attendance at Rexall tonight and we have two goals:

  1. Run a few dozen beers through us
  2. Take a picture of something funny

Enjoy your sobriety in the press box Mr. Gregor and Mr. Brownlee. We will think of you during the second period when we are on our 7th beer and are trying to remember the name of the Oilers second round draft pick in 1995.

Amateurs.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 baggedmilk
December 16 2008, 03:18PM
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Oh good Lord Wanye you've been reading my Christmas list.

I would do (perfectly lovely) things to Natalie Portman. Mmmm

(edited by Santa)

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#2 RobinB
December 16 2008, 03:50PM
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Wanye: You're talking about being on your seventh beer in the second period and you're calling us amateurs? You obviously haven't seen the mobile keg cart up in the press box. It's a 12-hose, high-flow marvel of guzzling technology. Oh, and it's free.

Suckers.

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#3 The Towel Boy
December 16 2008, 03:55PM
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@ RobinB:

Mmmmmm...mobile beer.

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#4 Chris
December 16 2008, 03:56PM
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Is it too much to ask Santa for MacIntyre to be medically cleared in time to widden the gap on Pronger's face this friday?

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#5 Chris
December 16 2008, 03:57PM
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widden. Widen. Wideen. Help?

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#6 alphah
December 16 2008, 04:02PM
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RobinB wrote:

Wanye: You’re talking about being on your seventh beer in the second period and you’re calling us amateurs? You obviously haven’t seen the mobile keg cart up in the press box. It’s a 12-hose, high-flow marvel of guzzling technology. Oh, and it’s free. Suckers.

Is... is this true? Why didn't they tell us this earlier... I'm going into journalism

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#7 Lubo71
December 16 2008, 04:02PM
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RobinB wrote:

Wanye: You’re talking about being on your seventh beer in the second period and you’re calling us amateurs? You obviously haven’t seen the mobile keg cart up in the press box. It’s a 12-hose, high-flow marvel of guzzling technology. Oh, and it’s free. Suckers.

At the risk of sounding like an idiot - is this real?

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#8 bingofuel
December 16 2008, 04:14PM
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I'll be at the game as well, so if the Justice League is looking to get a sense of the mood inside RX1, check out www.twitter.com/oilersnation for updates.

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#9 Cam
December 16 2008, 04:29PM
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Hmmm. I would settle for the Oilers going 3-1 in the last four if Kate Beckinsale was in my stocking...

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#10 jeanshorts
December 16 2008, 04:45PM
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Cam wrote:

Hmmm. I would settle for the Oilers going 3-1 in the last four if Kate Beckinsale was in my stocking…

I would settle for the Oilers losing every game from now until the end of time if I could find a way inside Kate Beckinsales undercarriage.

RobinB wrote:

It’s a 12-hose, high-flow marvel of guzzling technology.

How long has the government been hiding this from us?????????

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#11 Smokin' Ray
December 16 2008, 04:56PM
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Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

It's Game Day People!!!!

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#12 RobinB
December 16 2008, 04:56PM
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Lubo71 wrote:

At the risk of sounding like an idiot - is this real?

Yes, it's true. You haven't heard of the Ronco 12-hose Multi-Pour dispenser?

jeanshorts wrote:

How long has the government been hiding this from us?????????

Shhhhh . . . we've been telling the feds the Ronco 12-hose Multi-Pour is a mobile ventilator for Terry Jones.

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#13 Cam
December 16 2008, 05:05PM
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@jeanshorts

I am with you, brother. Every game.

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#14 Hockey Gods
December 16 2008, 05:21PM
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Whatever happened to that up and comer JF Jaques?

Natatlie Portman bah humbug, I would sell Hemsky to hollywood just smell one of Megan Fox's farts.

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#15 Chris
December 16 2008, 05:23PM
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Webmaster,

Just an observation,

On the main page, to the right it shows last game and upcoming game.

Why are the Oilers First? At a glance it leads me to believe we are on the road.

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#16 Hockey Gods
December 16 2008, 05:27PM
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PS there are some serious Nation debates going on today. Both Brownlee and Gregor's articles have caused some serious oilnation anomosity. From now on all of these debates should be settled via KY rasslin'.

PPS LEafs are losing... something is right in the world today...

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#17 Dana @ AgileStyle
December 16 2008, 05:37PM
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@ Chris: Thanks for pointing that out, it has been fixed.

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#18 Ender the Dragon
December 16 2008, 06:20PM
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Hockey Gods wrote:

PS there are some serious Nation debates going on today. Both Brownlee and Gregor’s articles have caused some serious oilnation anomosity. From now on all of these debates should be settled via KY rasslin’. PPS LEafs are losing… something is right in the world today…

[best Tigger imitation] Dragonth don't like KY rathelin'. Pbtttttttt.

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#19 mab47
December 16 2008, 06:42PM
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hmm, Chris i have noticed something as well that has erked me.

On the schedule page, there is no way to tell whether the games are home or away

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#20 Chris
December 16 2008, 06:46PM
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Any predictions fine people of Oilersnation? I'm expecting OT and a shootout. I would have expected the Oilers to take the two points cold had MacT started Roli and kept every available pound of muscle in the lineup... We always seem to play better when the expectation is that we need to play physical (ie Vancouver Saturday) Why don't the Oilers initiate a physical gameplan against the Chicago's of the league? We seem prepared to respond aggressively to Vancouver or Calgary...Why not take the initative?

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#21 RLH
December 16 2008, 07:02PM
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Barbecuing sausages in sub-zero temps, beer in hand, hockey about to be on television! Darn but I love this time of year!!!

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#22 Ender the Dragon
December 16 2008, 07:02PM
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Hmmmm.

More than a day off, playing at home, Garon between the pipes . . . I don't know, Nation. It's like that really muscular girl that keeps checking you out from the far side of the club; it's possible that tonight ends with unrestrained howls of joyous abandon, but something just doesn't smell quite right.

2-1 Hawks, regulation.

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#23 OilersNation
December 16 2008, 07:41PM
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Oilers 5-3, I am going to give the kids from Chicago some credit and spot them 3. I will also be eating a rotisserie chicken from safeway and guzzle one whole litre of cola.

Wanye -Natalie Portman really?!?!?!?!? Do you know her real last name is Horshlagh? That is the noise I make after I have had 32 bud lghts and make out with the porcelan princess.

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#24 Rammer
December 16 2008, 07:41PM
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FINISH ALREADY!

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#25 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 07:42PM
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Damn you leafs

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#26 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 07:43PM
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Thanks for taking the 1:30 way from me

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#27 Ender the Dragon
December 16 2008, 07:44PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote:

. . . something just doesn’t smell quite right.

And the retro jerseys too; kiss of death.

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#28 Chris
December 16 2008, 07:44PM
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Classic Jersey's...the kiss of death. Go Stortini!

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#29 Chris
December 16 2008, 07:45PM
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@ Chris: Jinx!

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#30 Rammer
December 16 2008, 07:45PM
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Quality Jerseys.

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#31 Chris
December 16 2008, 07:46PM
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@ Ender the Dragon: Whoops. Still Jinx.

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#32 jeanshorts
December 16 2008, 07:48PM
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Oh sweet baby jesus look at that shot on Ovechkin.

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#33 Chris
December 16 2008, 07:50PM
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It's okay...our PK is pretty good; Right?

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#34 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 07:52PM
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That was a snipe be Ovi

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#35 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 07:52PM
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damn you kane

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#36 jeanshorts
December 16 2008, 07:52PM
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Well. That was quick and painless.

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#37 Chris
December 16 2008, 07:52PM
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6 seconds of quality kill.

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#38 jeanshorts
December 16 2008, 07:55PM
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can someone PLEASE remove that chip from Gagners shoulder. Can't even buy a goal this year.

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#39 Chris
December 16 2008, 07:55PM
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Cross seam...Who saw that coming?

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#40 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 07:56PM
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Come on boys

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#41 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 08:02PM
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MMMMMMM delcous beer

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#42 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 08:02PM
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Toughen up Ferraro

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#43 RBK
December 16 2008, 08:03PM
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Ya ddny he play in the show?

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#44 jeanshorts
December 16 2008, 08:03PM
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I'm so excited to come home to minus 80 degree weather tomorrow. Awesome.

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#45 RBK
December 16 2008, 08:05PM
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I will welcome you home with a mobile 12 spout keg machine

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#46 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 08:08PM
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Some yahoo today on Gregor's show was talking about resgin Goat boy to a 3 year deal..what?

PS - Great work Ferraro on the mouthguard piece

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#47 RBK
December 16 2008, 08:08PM
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HMMMM, The jury is still out on Goat Boy. Well at least in my court

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#48 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 08:12PM
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Penner is skatting like a jumbo donair.

damn it

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#49 R-DAWG
December 16 2008, 08:13PM
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How do you spell Garon...S_I_E_V_E

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#50 OilersNinja
December 16 2008, 08:14PM
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Stortini you are embarassing

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