It's apology time, Nation

Wanye
December 09 2008 11:01AM

Sheldon Souray haters, it’s time for you to make amends for your crimes. You remember Sheldon Souray, right? The local boy from Elk Point, Alberta who said it was an honour to be able to sign with his hometown Oilers in the summer of 2007? You also remember 2007, right? The era where the Oilers couldn’t get a hot dog vendor to agree to work at RX1 much less sign a player of any note.

Yeah, that’s right. Souray signed a rich deal in the summer of 2007 and promptly got injured -- limiting his first season in copper and blue to only 26 games. The Mighty Oil missed the playoffs and Souray was blamed for virtually everything:

“Sheldon Souray is a bum.”

“Sheldon Souray is overpaid.”

“Sheldon Souray once borrowed $5 from my cousin Gary and still hasn’t paid him back.”

Yep, it was a consensus in the Nation that Kevin Lowe had rocks in his skull and basically set the Oil back 100 years by signing Souray to his overpriced contract. Oh, and that year he got 26 goals for the Canadiens? No one would even dare suggest that it was anything more than a fluke. It only happened because (insert stupid reasoning here) and you have to remember that (insert more Souray hating here).

This continued all of last season and into the summer until finally someone snapped and stood up for the guy waaaaaaay back on Sept 3.

Well, well, well.

Look who’s an overpriced bum now, Souray Haters. Look who probably owes his own cousin Gary $20 now but now ignores his calls. We’ll give you a hint. It’s all of you haters -- but specifically you those of you who picked him as your goat in the star/goat draft of 2008.

JB September 2 2008, 7:40 pm. Goat -- Sheldon Souray. $5.4 million. Ugh. Desperation signings always hurt the most.

jayoilfan September 3 2008, 8:42 am. Not so star -- Sheldon Souray, way too overpaid and a total bandage case for what he brings. Lucky if he hits 40 games.

Matt September 3 2008, 9:36 pm. Goat goes to Souray, even though I really like the guy.

Gord September 2 2008, 11:03 am. (I'll pick) my goat last year as well -- Sheldon Souray. It’s easy to see how many mistakes this overpaid clown makes when you are looking closely for them. You can almost always put the blame squarely on him for the goal that just went in against the Mighty Oil.

My my, Souray Haters. How very stupid of all of you. Blame paste needs to be smeared on the faces of everyone who got involved -- including our very own Professor Willis who got in on the action:

Jonathan Willis September 3 2008, 1:20 pm. I’ve talked about Souray at some length earlier this summer he isn’t an all-star powerplay option.

Well, seeing how much you all love “numbers” and “reading” let’s all have a look at Souray’s stats for the year to date -- and prorated for the season:

2008–09: 25 GP, 8 G, 13 A, 21 PTS Prorated 08–09: 81 GP, 26 G, 42 A, 68 PTS

Oh and you can compare it to the one-in-an-overpaid-lifetime season that he had in Montreal if you like:

Career Season 2006–07: 81 GP, 26 G, 38 A, 64 PTS

What’s that noise? Is it thousands of Souray haters shutting their mouths in unison? It must be.

Here we are, three months and six days after defending Souray, saying that not only is Souray bringing the heat, but he also deserves to be in the All-Star Game. Ordinarily we don’t vote -- for the All Star Game, for American Idol, for Canadian Idol or in any political elections. But we are going to vote for this -- and so should all of us.

Here is how he stands now. 6th place in voting. Ahead of CFP – believe that – but trailing the likes of Campbell and Rafalski. Does that seem right to you? There is only one thing we can do to make up for our early shabby treatment of Big Sexy.

Go vote. Often. Here. We voted four times this morning just to kick things off.

-- This message has been brought to you by the VOTES Committee – Vote Often To Elect Souray.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 baggedmilk
December 09 2008, 11:06AM
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Souray was an will continue to be a huge signing. I was ripped for saying it on Oilfans yet I did not waiver. My kung fu is strong, as is Souray's.

His powerful thunder-horn continues to lift the mighty Oil. His evolving facial foliage let's us know how to style our face forrest. With one stare he is able to bring goalies to their knees and question their own hetero sexuality.

Souray to the Allstar game.

I'm baggedmilk and I support this message.

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#2 RobinB
December 09 2008, 11:14AM
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@ baggedmilk: Too bad you stuck by Souray. No blame paste for you.

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#3 jeanshorts
December 09 2008, 11:20AM
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(edited with Love by Wanye)

And you can never go wrong signing a guy that's been in GQ. It's like Cosmo, but for homosexual men!

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#4 baggedmilk
December 09 2008, 11:22AM
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@ RobinB:

I am also a supporter of Dustin Penner. If he continues to visualize the net as though it's an all you can eat at Eden's Ultra Lounge he'll be worth that contract.

AND when it comes true and all the armchair GMs will say 'I knew he would be a keeper'

*baggedmilk stamp of approval*

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#5 Chris
December 09 2008, 11:25AM
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People dissed Souray for being hurt... Wow. That is as stupid as putting Penner on the third line in a defencive roll and publicly dissing him for lack of production... then marvalling at your own genius for tracking an increase in production when you place him back in his natural position on left wing on the first line. Some people are just plain dumb.

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#6 Reverend Wanye Gretz
December 09 2008, 11:27AM
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#18 RobinB October 5 2008, 6:50 pm.

I actually think Souray will have his second-best season in terms of goals — I’m thinking 15-20 with 12-15 of those on the PP — if he gets in 75 games. Even paired with Visnovsky, I can’t see the 26 though.

You have also been spared Robin due to your tremendous faith.

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#7 tricksnard
December 09 2008, 11:27AM
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I have now, officially voted for for Souray more times than anything else in my life. Once.

More to come~

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#8 RobinB
December 09 2008, 11:33AM
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@ Reverend Wanye Gretz: It's not faith, Wanye Von ManPaste. It's knowledge.

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#9 baggedmilk
December 09 2008, 11:33AM
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@ Reverend Wanye Gretz:

Hallelujah!! With the help of the Lord, this man-boy has been saved! To many more seasons of Road to AvonBrownlee.

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#10 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 11:41AM
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Much in the same fashion as habs fans I have submitted my team:

Roloson Grebeskov (BAAAAAAAAAAAHD Choice) Sourary Penner Horcoff Hemsky

I think Hemsky would be deserving of a starting line-up position too.

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#11 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 11:44AM
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We should start a Vote in the Goat campaign just like the one for "Vote for Rory" Campaign of last year...

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#12 hockeysmack
December 09 2008, 11:48AM
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Chris, it's fair to diss a guy for being hurt if he is signed to a big money deal at 31 and has a history of injury problems. It's not really dissing the guy, but the team management. You can't blame a guy for being hurt (unless it's Carlo Collavachio apparently), but you can blame management for bad contracts. So, if Souray's a bust last year, and an all-start this year, can we wait another year for the rubber match on this?

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#13 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 11:48AM
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1414 votes atributed to your post Wanye, when I voted the total was at 123086 ;)

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#14 Travis Dakin
December 09 2008, 11:52AM
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I'm proud to say I was the first to back you up back in September Wanye. Souray is one big, mean, sexy son of a bitch. My loins have been set a blaze.

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#15 I Am The Law
December 09 2008, 11:53AM
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From the September 3 rant:

"If you’re some dink like Jeff Finger and you run into Sheldon Souray, Souray is going to run your show."

This is probably the most memorable line I have read on any website, or in any book.

And Mr. Finger is a sterling 21GP 2G 5A 7P. Therefore, that line is also the most prophetic.

Thank you Wayne, for helping us see the light.

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#16 jeanshorts
December 09 2008, 11:54AM
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hockeysmack wrote:

You can’t blame a guy for being hurt (unless it’s Carlo Collavachio apparently),

Oh Ron Wilson. I hope, at one point, things get so bad in Toronto him and Hockey Jesus have a shirtless knife fight in the middle of the ACC parking lot.

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#17 Reverend Wanye Gretz
December 09 2008, 11:55AM
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BUCK75 wrote:

1414 votes atributed to your post Wanye, when I voted the total was at 123086

This is a start. How can we live with ourselves if Dion Phaneuf is ahead of SS?

@ Travis

I recall said back up. You are quite wise. Preach! Preach!

AMEN

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#18 misfit
December 09 2008, 11:57AM
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I've been against the Souray signing from the start, but he's definately earning his paycheck this year.

If he keeps it up the rest of the way, maybe I'll officially change my tune, but for a guy who's won the green jacket on his team on a regular basis despite only playing against middling opposition, forgive me if I'm not yet ready to declair it a great signing. Especially when he's had as many good seasons in Edmonton as bad. I'll be cheering him on the whole way though, just as I have been from the day we signed him.

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#19 Reverend Wanye Gretz
December 09 2008, 11:59AM
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I Am The Law wrote:

From the September 3 rant: “If you’re some dink like Jeff Finger and you run into Sheldon Souray, Souray is going to run your show.” This is probably the most memorable line I have read on any website, or in any book. And Mr. Finger is a sterling 21GP 2G 5A 7P. Therefore, that line is also the most prophetic. Thank you Wayne, for helping us see the light.

Ha ha I have no recollection of writing that but man is that true. Those two meet at a charity event and Jeff Finger is getting Souray's drinks for him ALL night.

I thank you IATL for reminding me of what I said.

You're welcome humanity.

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#20 Travis Dakin
December 09 2008, 11:59AM
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misfit wrote:

I’ve been against the Souray signing from the start, but he’s definately earning his paycheck this year. If he keeps it up the rest of the way, maybe I’ll officially change my tune, but for a guy who’s won the green jacket on his team on a regular basis despite only playing against middling opposition, forgive me if I’m not yet ready to declair it a great signing. Especially when he’s had as many good seasons in Edmonton as bad. I’ll be cheering him on the whole way though, just as I have been from the day we signed him.

You shut your mouth when you're talking to us!

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#21 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 12:01PM
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This whole 1 vote per minute thing is PAINFULL!!!

I just realized I didn't have to vote for 12 guys - I could only vote for Souray if I didn't want to vote for anyone else.

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#22 jeanshorts
December 09 2008, 12:04PM
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misfit wrote:

Especially when he’s had as many good seasons in Edmonton as bad

That's kind of like saying, Steve Stamkos is a complete bust because he's had more mediocre seasons in Tampa than good ones. Maybe I've had too many breakfast rums, but didn't we just sign Big Sexy last season?

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#23 Chris
December 09 2008, 12:05PM
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Vote. Vote. Vote. Phaneuf is currently in sloppy seconds.

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#24 hockeysmack
December 09 2008, 12:06PM
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Interesting dynamic there. I can picture those two having drinks with Dave Nonis, where Burke and Wilson verbally rape every player on their roster, other GMs and the Tornoto media while Nonis quietly sips on a virgin daquiri and repeatedly checks his watch, wishing he could get the hell out of the bar. Ah, to be part of the 700 person Leafs management... @ jeanshorts:

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#25 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 12:09PM
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Chris wrote:

Vote. Vote. Vote. Phaneuf is currently in sloppy seconds.

CLASSIC

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#26 Jonathan Willis
December 09 2008, 12:14PM
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Souray's having, by far, the best season of his career. He isn't just matching his best offensive totals, he's matching his best defensive totals at the same time. Easily worth an all-star nod.

Of course, I'd feel better voting if the NHL all-star voting system wasn't such a joke.

Also, vote Hemsky.

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#27 jeanshorts
December 09 2008, 12:25PM
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Dave Hodge was talking about how the Habs fans were trying to vote in all 5 Habs to be in the starting line up, and he said something along the lines of that it was a total abomination, and that fan votes should only account for a small part of the decision of who starts. What the hell does Dave Hodge think the all-star game is? It's not like it determines the finalists for the Hart trophy or anything. Half the players there would probably rather not play in it any way. If French Canadia wants Tomas Plekanec to start the All-Star game, then let them have it.

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#28 Chris
December 09 2008, 12:32PM
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VIVE LA QUEBEC! If it p!sses off Torontonians they have my full support.

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#29 baggedmilk
December 09 2008, 12:37PM
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@ Chris:

The worst thing that happened to Canada is when Ontario had that black out a few years ago, and they started reproducing to pass the time. The result of which was a small baby boom of future Leaf fans. Down with fan balloting? I say down with unprotected Ontarian sex.

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#30 Jonathan Willis
December 09 2008, 12:47PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Dave Hodge was talking about how the Habs fans were trying to vote in all 5 Habs to be in the starting line up

Right. Those massive, massive numbers were all a bunch of Canadiens fans voting in unison, and not some vote program a pro-Canadiens hacker created.

Also, Sidney Crosby's jump into top spot was completely legitimate.

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#31 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 12:56PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

jeanshorts wrote: Dave Hodge was talking about how the Habs fans were trying to vote in all 5 Habs to be in the starting line up Right. Those massive, massive numbers were all a bunch of Canadiens fans voting in unison, and not some vote program a pro-Canadiens hacker created. Also, Sidney Crosby’s jump into top spot was completely legitimate.

Who cares if there are 5 guys fom the same team voted into the game. That's what happens when you give people the opportunity to vote in their favorite players. The NHL is almost encouraging fans to do this.

Dave Hodge has some insightful thoughts occassionally, but he is way off base here IMHO. If it was 5 leafs in the starting line-up do you think anyone @ TSN would say anything?

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#32 BUCK75
December 09 2008, 12:59PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Dave Hodge was talking about how the Habs fans were trying to vote in all 5 Habs to be in the starting line up,

Actually it was 6 players. I realized it after I reponded to JayDub

Kovalev Koivu Tanguay Kommisarek Markov Price

Still my opinion stays the same, who cares who is on the starting line-up. For the most part they get it right after the starting line-up. Except for the part that every team has to be represented.

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#33 hockeysmack
December 09 2008, 01:12PM
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Who cares about the All-Star game anyways? I'd rather watch Brownlee and Stauffer run a marathon for about 38 hours before I'd spend 3 watching that circle-jerk.

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#34 atastypie
December 09 2008, 01:16PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Right. Those massive, massive numbers were all a bunch of Canadiens fans voting in unison, and not some vote program a pro-Canadiens hacker created.

This is actually what happened. You simply download and open some pretty straightforward javascript and it auto-voted every minute.

The embarrassment isn't that Montreal fans were voting like this--its that the NHL developers launched the poll without putting in any kind of protection from automatic vote scripts.

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#35 Matt
December 09 2008, 01:25PM
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I apologize. I was wrong. I should have said Steve Staios. It should be noted that I am overjoyed with being so wrong.

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#36 Gord
December 09 2008, 01:33PM
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Wanye, you failed to post where I said I would be very happy if I was incorrect. I made my choice based on the 26 games he played the prior year as he was a defensive nightmare. I was never a 'hater' but one who knew he could perform better at both ends. He played defense well in Jersey, offense well in Montreal but neither in Edmonton last year. I couldn't be happier that he turned his game around and made last season a distant memory. Let's hope he stays healthy for the rest of his contract and continues playing at the current calibre.

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#37 tricksnard
December 09 2008, 01:40PM
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Also, Sidney Crosby’s jump into top spot was completely legitimate.

*cough*

Absolutely.

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#38 The Towel Boy
December 09 2008, 01:49PM
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Souray got my vote long ago. Just cuz of his shear manhood.

Anyone with 5 O'Clock shadow at 10:00 am is good enough for my vote.

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#39 Bruthah
December 09 2008, 02:04PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

hockeysmack wrote: You can’t blame a guy for being hurt (unless it’s Carlo Collavachio apparently), Oh Ron Wilson. I hope, at one point, things get so bad in Toronto him and Hockey Jesus have a shirtless knife fight in the middle of the ACC parking lot.

Any knife fight just makes me think of friggin' UNDER SEIGE.

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#40 jeanshorts
December 09 2008, 02:07PM
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Bruthah wrote:

Any knife fight just makes me think of friggin’ UNDER SEIGE.

And Under Siege makes me think of naked Erika Eleniak. So it's win win!

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#41 hockeysmack
December 09 2008, 02:35PM
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Word Erika Eleniak! She was underrated on Baywatch. Haselhoff sets himself up with the best gigs.

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#42 Reverend Wanye Gretz
December 09 2008, 02:36PM
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hockeysmack wrote:

Word Erika Eleniak! She was underrated on Baywatch. Haselhoff sets himself up with the best gigs.

Preach preach!

I love being a Reverend

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#43 jeanshorts
December 09 2008, 02:53PM
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According to IMDB she now lives in Calgary. So if anyone wants to split (something something- WG Edit), I'm always up for a day trip.

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#44 Dennis
December 09 2008, 02:58PM
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Maybe I skimmed and/or glossed over it but did you mention that Year One of the contract was a disaster because of how much time he missed injury-wise?

I personally thought it was a terrible move because the contract was too long, was worth too much per season and because the guy had a history of injuries and had never at any point shown that he could keep his head above player playing top opp which is what you'd need to see in order to justify giving a guy that much money.

So, right now he's kicking A$$, though much less now that he's been separated from 71, but we're just 1/3rd of the year though the '09 season and his '08 season's already been a waste of time and money because of his injury problems.

This contract is still firmly anchored in the " we shall see" pile.

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#45 RLH
December 09 2008, 03:55PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

@ Chris: The worst thing that happened to Canada is when Ontario had that black out a few years ago, and they started reproducing to pass the time. The result of which was a small baby boom of future Leaf fans. Down with fan balloting? I say down with unprotected Ontarian sex.

LOL, classic. Had to pass this one on to a Leaf fan or 500.

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#46 The Towel Boy
December 09 2008, 03:57PM
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Bruthah wrote:

jeanshorts wrote: hockeysmack wrote: You can’t blame a guy for being hurt (unless it’s Carlo Collavachio apparently), Oh Ron Wilson. I hope, at one point, things get so bad in Toronto him and Hockey Jesus have a shirtless knife fight in the middle of the ACC parking lot. Any knife fight just makes me think of friggin’ UNDER SEIGE.

That knife fight took the way cool out of that movie. JUST STAB THE GUY!

SHVINK*CHANK*SCHNINK*SCHLANG

(it's the best knife sounds I could type)

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#47 baggedmilk
December 09 2008, 04:01PM
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Oh man Erika Eleniak always made me want to (bake a cake) all over her (smiling) face. To this day I can still rattle off 3 rounds of (Mike Tyson's Punchout) to her running in slow motion on the beach. If my mom only new my sheets were crusted together from litre after litre of my (au jus sauce) she would not be happy.

In fact she'd say "BM stop blowing your(radio edit) (allowance) all over the damn (arcade machine) If I have to clean up your (dog garn) liquid love again I will (deficate) everywhere!"

edited with love for the children...

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#48 Reverend Wanye Gretz
December 09 2008, 04:07PM
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@ Dennis

I guess the difference between you and I is that I am merely Oilers fan whereas you are a Oilers focused statistician. You make decisions based on standard deviations, salary cap adjusted 'hits' and PPG. I on the other hand, am often tricked by replays of goals which I believe to be live action footage. This causes me to stand and cheer loudly - much to the chagrin of people like yourself who realize the goal happened minutes or even hours ago.

Until I read some sort of emotional statement in blind support of someone on this squadron - YOU sir are firmly anchored in the "we shall see pile."

Let's see if I can make my point intellectual enough for you to read:

"My main thesis in the above article was to point out that fan support of a particular player should be a derivative of his performance. As a result when he plays poorly or is injured fan support wanes and/or criticism is valid. Concordantly when he performs better - levels of support should normally trend above a level his actual performance would dictate.

This phenomenon is referred to as "band wagon jumping" and I postulated we could all vote for #44 (or the sqaure root of 1936 if you prefer) into the all star game."

You dig?

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#49 Reverend Wanye Gretz
December 09 2008, 04:08PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

edited with love for the children…

Man, this site is starting to run itself!

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#50 The Towel Boy
December 09 2008, 04:10PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

Oh man Erika Eleniak always made me want to (bake a cake) all over her (smiling) face. To this day I can still rattle off 3 rounds of (Mike Tyson’s Punchout) to her running in slow motion on the beach. If my mom only new my sheets were crusted together from litre after litre of my (au jus sauce) she would not be happy. In fact she’d say “BM stop blowing your(radio edit) (allowance) all over the damn (arcade machine) If I have to clean up your (dog garn) liquid love again I will (deficate) everywhere!” edited with love for the children…

hahaha good lord.

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