The envelope, please

Robin Brownlee
March 30 2008 04:15PM

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Zane Feldman will have nothing on The Uli or the Brass Bobo when the Edmonton Oilers hand out their annual team awards, voted on by fans, Tuesday. And the winner is...

The Awards

Zane Feldman Trophy (MVP): It should be stopper Mathieu Garon or Ales Hemsky, but fans have a thing for Sam Gagner. There's an argument to be made for any one of the three.

Top first-year Oiler: Gagner will probably get the nod for his torrid scoring pace down the stretch, but fellow rookie Andrew Cogliano deserves it. He's been a better all-around player.

Unsung hero: Zack Stortini and Kyle Brodziak get consideration, but de facto captain Steve Staios has been the backbone of this team during its climb into contention.

Top defensive forward: Shawn Horcoff deserves it. He was the team's leading scoring and a plus-player when a shoulder injury ended his season.

Most popular player: A coin flip between Hemsky and Gagner.

Top defenceman (media vote): Staios edges Tom Gilbert.

OilersNation Awards

The Uli—In honour of Igor Ulanov, for the player who has the pain tolerance of a cadaver and plays banged up without complaint: Hemsky, who has endured a bad wrist down the stretch, gets a slight nod over Staios, the walking hematoma who plays every night.

The Izzy—For teasing fans with the ability to dominate with the rare combination of size and soft hands, only to go AWOL for games on end: Dustin Penner.

The Bucky—To the player who does the dirty work, win or lose, for the bloody crest on the front of the jersey not the name on the back: Stortini wins it hands—make that fists—down.

The Mikky—In honour of little-known, and deservedly so, former Washington Capital Bill Mikkelson, who established an NHL record with a minus–82 in 1974–75: Jarret Stoll.

The Brass Bobo—Awarded to the defenceman who displays the Mironovian knack of creating quality scoring chances at both ends of the ice: Denis Grebeshkov.

The Plaster Pinata—For the player who gets all the bad breaks and spends more time rehabbing than playing: A four-way tie between Raffi Torres, Sheldon Souray, Ethan Moreau and Horcoff.

The Wicked Wanye—For the most quotable player who says smart-ass stuff and makes us laugh: co-winners are the silver-tongued tandem of Marty Reasoner and Matt Greene.

Feel free to add your own OilersNation award and to let us know if we've got it right or wrong—we haven't paid the engraver, yet.

—Listen to Robin Brownlee every Thursday from 4 to 5pm on Total Sports with Bob Stauffer on Team 1260.

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A sports writer since 1983, including stints at The Edmonton Journal and The Sun 1989-2007, I happily co-host the Jason Gregor Show on TSN 1260 twice a week and write when so inclined. Have the best damn lawn on the internet. Most important, I am Sam's dad. Follow me on Twitter at Robin_Brownlee. Or don't.
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#1 TonyRomo
March 30 2008, 04:49PM
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The plaster pinata. hahahaha That has to go to Moreau that poor bugger.

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#2 Wanye Gretz
March 30 2008, 05:03PM
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It's good to see an award named after me. Of course I win the Wicked Wanye, I don't care how many knock knock jokes Reasoner can tell.

I love the Reasoner joke about how he is Sakic without the hands. Oh MacT, if anyone deserves a funny award this year, you get it.

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#3 doritogrande
March 31 2008, 07:46AM
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I think Joni Pitkanen gives Dustin Penner a good run for the Izzy.

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#4 Bill Huard
March 31 2008, 02:23PM
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I was just checking Moreau's injury history on NHL.com;) and it looks like old Robin really screwed the pooch by for the injury award.

That one goes to Moreau.

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#5 theoil
March 31 2008, 07:06PM
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How about the Good Houskeeping Award to Gilbert, Gagner, Cogliano and Glencross for not totally destroying Moreau's house?

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