A Prayer to Hockey Jebus

Wanye
April 01 2008 03:55PM

hockeyjebus.jpg 

Dear Hockey Jebus, with your original hockey mullet high up in hockey heaven, You who hangs out all day with Tim Horton and Maurice Richard playing street hockey. You and the other Hockey Gods make the decisions on who wins what, While trying to ignore the Gods of Heavy Metal—who make a hell of a racket down the hall.

You saw it in your infinite wisdom to deny the Oilers a Cup in 2006 for reasons we will come to understand in time. You thought it best to allow Pronger to leave town, before we all wasted money buying his Jerseys. You showed us your wisdom by allowing most of the good Oilers to become injured, And allowing the newer, better Baby Oilers to rock ‘n roll for the last month.

Well, it’s crunch time Hockey Jebus. All we ask is a thrashing of the Flames tonight and the Canucks on Thursday. Let that be enough to guide the Oil into the playoffs, where the Oil can play a visibly concerned Red Wings squad.

In exchange we will do whatever you ask, drink whatever you ask, KILL whoever you ask or build a 1,000-foot statue in your honour in the middle of the Whitemud, And happily swerve around it for the next 100 years.

PLEASE HOCKEY JEBUS

PLAYOFFS!!!!!!!!

Amen

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 DJ Spin Cycle
April 01 2008, 04:07PM
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Wanye, you never told me you'd found religion. Let me guess: it was in the glove box, next to the maps and ice scraper...

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#2 Teddy
April 01 2008, 04:35PM
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GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Oilers GO!

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#3 Tommy
April 01 2008, 04:56PM
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Last time I felt like this it was April 2006.

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#4 Robbo
April 01 2008, 05:18PM
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yey Oilers!

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