Kay-Z buys some some bling

Wanye
June 12 2008 12:09PM

katzpimp.jpg 

Man, is Daryl “Kay-Z” Katz a sho’ ‘nuff pimp-trick gangster! There was word this week that hilarious fallen douche Peter Pocklington has sold his five Stanley Cup rings on some net auction for a total of almost $300,000. The buyer is anonymous thus far, but the list of people that would lay out $300K for five Oilers rings is a pretty short list that consists of:

  1. Daryl Katz
  2. Mrs. Daryl Katz buying a fathers day present for Daryl Katz.
  3. Daryl Katz

Word is that Pocklington is selling the rings "to finance his grandchildren’s educations." Riiight. We suppose saying he was selling the rings "to finance arms deals in Iran, or to bankroll elementary school drug deals or anything else shady to make a buck" wouldn't be good form. Well, we said it, Puck, you sheister.

Anyhoo, there are five things you can count on:

  1. Katz bought the five rings for $300,000. Guaranteed.
  2. He ain’t telling anyone its him, especially lame TSN media types.
  3. They’re going in a special $500,000 display case he had built made of solid gold, diamonds and the shredded remains of Oilers contracts of yore.
  4. The case has space for more rings that he intends to fill shortly.
  5. Katz is going to take the rings when they arrive, put one on each finger, and call a meeting of KLowe and MacT. He’ll walk into the meeting and yell, "I don't want to hear one word about how many rings either of you have! I have all five rings too! You know how I got em? Money! Now go get me a sixth ring or I will use more of my money to have you both buried in the parking lot, and bring in a new regime!"

He will then punch each of them in the face with the five-ringed fist and leave the room.

Man, what a gangster.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 k
June 12 2008, 01:20PM
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Awsome.

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#2 Rick
June 12 2008, 01:23PM
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I heard different.

From my understanding he bought the rings because the gum ball machine he keeps in his rumpus room had run out of those diamond rings made out of candy.

This was simply a way of restocking it.

The big question I have is how many quarters Bob Stauffer is going to plug into the machine before he gets one.

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#3 OilCrazy
June 12 2008, 01:52PM
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Way to go Kay Z

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#4 Sean
June 13 2008, 09:05AM
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Someone should tell Katz its the new NHL. You cant just buy rings anymore ;)

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#5 shoot
June 13 2008, 09:34AM
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wipe the egg off..it wasnt him

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#6 DJ Spyn Cycle
June 13 2008, 09:39AM
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@ shoot

Yes, how embarrassing for us to speculate that Daryl Katz is a pimp attempting to buy the world, starting with the Oilers rings. The site will be shut down because of this gaffe.

Actually, the reason we posted this is because I've been asking Wanye to give me an excuse to photoshop another crown on Katz's dome.

OK, seriously: you're right, we were wrong. Read about it here.

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#7 Milli
June 15 2008, 10:32AM
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I actually bought them, can you believe that old Puck took a cheque!!!!!! I'm pretty sure it might not maybe kinda bounce!!!!!!!

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#8 mAD~mOD
June 15 2008, 06:06PM
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It wasn`t Katz that bought the rings, it was Lyle Best on behalf of the Edmonton Sports HOF.

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#9 Rob
June 17 2008, 11:49AM
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R.B. - I don't know how well you know Katz but how do you see him moving forward once the team is his? Will he think for himself and really try and develop the Oilers both as a managment team and the on-ice product? Is he the kind of owner who will hold the GM & coaching staff responsible for their results or the lack thereof?

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