Should Lowe burn Burke again?

Wanye
June 19 2008 08:10AM

twinsbb.jpg 

So you’re sitting there and you’re Kevin Lowe (awesome I know, but pay attention). You have a team that’s looking pretty promising and adding a power player to the roster right about now without giving anything up would be sweet. You’re also one of the few teams with cap space for next year. Finally, you have a new boss you’re looking to impress and know that he would love to make a splashy entrance at the “NHL Owners Club.”

So what should you do?

Why, you make another huge offer sheet to an Anaheim Duck, this time Corey Perry.

Corey Perry you say? How is that possible? Well, we have it on good authority that Anaheim hasn’t even begun to talk to Perry about a new contract in any real seriousness. And oh yeah, the Ducks have about zero inches of cap room in which to do anything because they already have $50,028,900 committed for next year without Perry:

They’re waiting for Niedermayer, who is screwing around as per usual, stroking his grey beard and going “hmmmmmmm” about returning for another year at $6,750,000.

  • They have “Dink” Pronger who makes $6.25 million a year
  • They have Giguere who makes too much at $6 millon.
  • They have Todd “The amateur chiropractor” Bertuzzi who makes $4 million.
  • They just signed Getzlaf for all the money at the end of the rainbow at $5,325,000 per year.

(All salaries taken from hockeyanaysis.com)

For them to have the cap room to make anything work they’re going to have to pitch Schneider, who is older than dirt at 37 and yet still makes $5.6 million a year. While they figure out what to do with his old corpse and are running around in circles trying to find the cap room to sign Perry, K-Lowe can swoop in on the Rexall Jet, offer Perry “Getzlaf” money and fly off together into the sunset.

BIGGER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT IN ANAHEIM THESE DAYS THAN COREY PERRY

You want to make that big purple vein in Burke’s head dance again? Seriously K-Lowe, take a run at Getzlaf and sign him up to a long term deal. Who cares what Burke says or does? Make your new boss a happy man, and usher in the Katz Era with a bang. Oh and FYI, Burke’ boss in Anaheim has just been indicted for tax evasion.

It would also seem that his business partner has been maintaining a “warehouse full of cocaine, ecstasy and methamphetamines” over the past few years, amongst other things too saucy for us to talk about on this site. The owner of the Ducks has bigger problems than what old Burkie has going on in his world.

Ultimately the shenanigans going on in Anaheim in the Owners’ Suite might be what drives Burke to Toronto, but that’s a story for another day.

FUN THING TO DO

Want to read some crazy stuff about the guy who owns the Ducks and what his business partners are up to these days? Read this.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 Cole
June 19 2008, 08:48AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I like this idea (Burke would have a stroke if K-Lowe pulled this again), Corey Perry would be great to have in Edmonton. He has good hands, good speed, and he is big enough that he can have an impact physically. He is the one guy, other than "Tall boy", that I really disliked on Anahiem because he had an edge and a nastiness to him. Hes a more offensively talented and a much, much classier version of Sean Avery. Id say do it, afterall its a fair move under the new CBA and next years draft is supposed to suck anyways, so you might as well get a proven player instead of wasting some picks. As for Burkes reaction, WHO CARES, everyone IN TORONTO knows that the egotistical Burkie is gonna be in TO next year anyway.

Avatar
#2 jdrevenge
June 19 2008, 08:56AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

WTF is Burke doing?! Maybe Toronto will swoop in there and give Perry all kinds of money.... ridiculous.

Avatar
#3 Rick
June 19 2008, 09:11AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

jdrevenge; That is exactly what I would love to see happen as well. Imagine the outrage next summer when Burke takes the reigns in T.O. and Perry is sitting there waiting for him.

Atleast Burke covered his ass for next season, his signing of Josh Green yesterday was a pretty savvy move as an insurance policy.

Avatar
#4 jdrevenge
June 19 2008, 10:19AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hahaha. pretty much.

Avatar
#5 1011011
June 20 2008, 08:57AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

They do seem to resemble one another. That linked story is crazy. How can a crazy person get so rich?

Avatar
#6 Carry
June 22 2008, 05:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hahaha. This would be pretty funny. Remember Corey Perry also played with Robbie Schremp in London....So put those 2 toegther on a line in Edmonton and watch them shoot the lights out. That is if MacTavish can get over his hatred for Schremp.

Avatar
#7 Trevor Teed
June 22 2008, 09:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I agree. Perry should get an offer from the OILERS. 4 #1 picks probably would hurt less than a first,second and third in the same year. OILERS could always trade for a couple of number ones ore more number twos.

I would enjoy watching Burke sputter, stutter, spit and swear. He set himself and the Ducks up and Lowe should hammer him like he would have hammered any opponent with his head down.

Comments are closed for this article.