Lost in translation

Wanye
June 20 2008 10:45AM

tradingpost.jpg 

By now you’ve probably read that K-Lowe has 22 trade offers sitting in his inbox as we head into the draft. Good thing we aren’t paying by the trade like on E-Trade, huh Nation? HUH? HUH?

*dead silence as joke bombs*

Anyhoo, we thought we’d also go through a few of Lowe’s quotes in the media from last night and translate them from “GM-Speak” into “English” so we can all understand where the big man’s head is at going into the draft:

Translating Posturing

Lowe said: "We were happy with Joni and we're happy to have him back. If (a deal) is going to benefit our hockey club, I'm willing to listen, but if I was a betting man I'd say Joni is going to be back with us this year."

Translation: "Hey Joni, if you don’t sign for a reasonable amount of money, you’re gone. In fact, I’m looking to move you. As GM, I would take the bet that Joni is going to be back on Rexall ice this year, but he could be wearing a different jersey."

Lowe said: "I'm not going to completely sell the farm for next year, I'm not going to be too bold in moving players out till the season gets going."

Translation: "If you think you can float through the off-season, Raffi, and think you’re getting away with that ‘season’ you were having before you got injured, you’re wrong. Prepare to be traded, son. If not now, then soon."

Lowe said: "I'm not sitting here thinking we're a favourite for the Stanley Cup next year, we still have to get into the playoffs, but I'm not quite as (eager to make a trade) as I was last year. We're feeling good where we are."

Translation: "We are a favorite to win the Stanley Cup, but I don’t want to jinx it by telling you the media and lower the betting odds for a Cup win. Instead I have just returned from Vegas where I have placed a $500,000 wager on the Oilers to bring home the Cup."

One other thing

We think that gambling in pro sports, especially if you’re in pro sports, is not a good idea. However, we think that it should be perfectly legal for players/coaches/management to bet on themselves. Obviously any player worth his salt should believe in himself and his team, so why not allow them to bet?

How awesome would it be to hear some player in the playoffs who is facing elimination say, “I can assure you that we are going to win tonight. Not only do I stake my personal reputation as a player on it, but I have placed a $100,000 bet on us tonight to make it extra sweet when I score the winning goal in OT.”

That’s gangster.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 doritogrande
June 20 2008, 11:02AM
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Here's another Lowe quote for you, as heard on Sportsnet this morning:

Lowe: I won't be as horny as I was at last year's draft.

Translation: I'm going to blow my wad again like I did last year on a TierII player who could have been available at #30. It's Stamkos or bust baby. Viagra away!

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#2 1011011
June 20 2008, 11:05AM
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They should force players who are in game 7 to bet on themselves to motivate their overpaid asses.

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#3 Rick
June 20 2008, 11:15AM
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You forgot one;

Lowe:"I don't like sitting around,I got here on Tuesday and started making some calls to get a sense of what everybody is doing."

Translation:"For the life of me I can't find the phone number for Ashley Dupre, can anyone help me out?"

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#4 Wanye Gretz
June 20 2008, 11:20AM
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Decent burn rick. It's a breath of fresh air to bring political scandal up in here.

Wanye translating Rick

Ashley Dupre (def) the call girl that brought down Eliot Spitzer, former governor of New York.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashley_Alexandra_Dupr%C3%A9

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#5 Jaydub
June 21 2008, 11:26AM
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Robin,

Do you think that Lowe has created a situation (via the RFA offer sheets last summer) that will make other teams hesitant to deal with the Oilers? They have been surprisingly quiet (here and at the trade deadline) and one has to wonder if they are having difficulty finding a dance partner

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#6 RobinB
June 21 2008, 04:40PM
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No. Lowe won't be making any trades with Brian Burke or Darcy Regier any time soon, but GMs around the league are going to make deals if the deal makes sense. Lowe was far from quiet at the draft. He didn't get anything done, but he was pitching, as were several others. Don't forget, there's probably 20 proposals for every trade that ever gets done. What Lowe is having difficulty finding is a team that has what he wants for what he's got to offer. Nothing more, nothing less.

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#7 erixon
June 22 2008, 08:52AM
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I wonder if it's possible that the Oilers pick someone up through free agency. I know maybe it doesnt make sense, because of the roster size, but mayeb thats become the best alternative. If you can pick someone up, like a second line guy for a decent price, maybe that is the best move for the team. Surely it wouldn't take much for someone like Ryder to come here, mayeb you could pick up someone like Straka, Federov, Stillman, etc. It doesn't really concern me too much if its an older player, as it wouldn't be for a permanent stay here, but just for a year or two while the sophmores get adjusted to the game. It's easy for the kids to motivate themselves when you are coming down an amazing strech drive, with so much energy around you, but when you start at the beginning of the year, it may seem like the games don't mean as much. I think often players have trouble with self motivation in their second year, because the excitement of playing in the NHL has worn off a little bit, and becomes more accepted in their minds. If you've got to go through free agency to get someone who can act as a support played and lighten the load, then do it. Make whatever roster moves you have to do after you get who you want.

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