Here at the OilersNation, we do negotiate with terrorists

bingofuel
July 18 2008 11:11AM

Please note the following transmissions:

Jonathan Willis (July 16, 2008 at 6:03pm posting a comment on OilersNation): I want to see a picture of Marc-Andre Bergeron in Oilers silks displayed somewhere on this site for the remainder of the off-season. Why? Because he’s representative of the little guy. In fact, he is a little guy.

Brownlee (in an e-mail to Wanye at the ungodly hour of 7:24am today) We must absolutely meet Jonathan's demand that we run a picture of Marc-Andre Bergeron before he agrees to join the website. Of course, it absolutely must be the picture of Bergeron running Andrew Ladd into Dwayne Roloson and KILLING the Oilers Stanley Cup hopes. Stupid Dwarf.

Wanye (in an email to Spyn Cycle about 4 minutes ago) Bergeron? That’s where he draws the line? One of histories greatest monsters? We might as well have a picture of Mussolini dancing the Macarena with Brian Burke whilst wearing Flames Jerseys.

Here you go, Jonathan. We remember M-A Bergeron well. All too well.

243fa199ff6efc362bf29a17e950b47e
Bingofuel is the handsome cyborg who pulls all the levers behind the curtains of the OilersNation. When he isn't running the site, he's plugged into a wall socket, recharging. Or Brownlee and Wanye are playing "keep away" with him. He gets little to no respect.
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#1 Jonathan
July 18 2008, 11:32AM
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Well, it could be worse. I'm also a big fan of Ty Conklin.

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#2 Tony Romo
July 18 2008, 11:44AM
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My heart died when that check was delivered

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#3 Wanye Gretz
July 18 2008, 11:47AM
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TY CONKLIN!?!?! GAH!!!

Next thing you know you will be talking about your Pronger Jersey

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#4 Jonathan
July 18 2008, 11:53AM
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Both good, if not supremely talented players who gave it everything they had in an Oilers uniform and had the misfortune of spontaneously combusting in situations neither could handle.

Bergeron still can't defend against size, and Conklin was thrown into the next in a tie game in the Stanley cup finals two months after last playing for the team in a year where he watched his rather promising career go up in smoke.

Both were class guys who didn't deserve the hatred thrown at them, despite their errors.

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#5 fyvmvv
July 18 2008, 12:20PM
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If you add into that celebrated group 3 additional objects of fan derision you could ice a complete line. Try Tommy Salo, Tom (don't hurt me or I'll tell) Poti and Cory Cross. Now you're talking. Salo and Conklin would have to play goal simultaneously in order to have any chance of making up 1 adequate goalie.

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#6 RobinB
July 18 2008, 12:26PM
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Jonathan: Class guys? There you go again. You've never been closer to these guys than your TV screen or row six at Rexall Place but you deem Bergeron and Conklin "class" guys. And, no, standing in a line-up at West Edmonton mall to get your jersey signed doesn't constitute knowing them.

How do you know they're class guys? Ever talk to either one of them? Ever talk to MacT about them? Ever talk to Kevin Lowe about them? Their teammates? Opponents? Moms? NO.

Well, bigshot, I have. And I've talked to Wayne Gretzky (for you, Kris) MANY, MANY times, too. While Conklin and Bergeron did their best as Oilers, that doesn't mean that they're class guys. For all you know, they could be AWFUL, TERRIBLE, MEAN guys.

But there you go again, Mr. SMARTY PANTS, drawing unsubstatiated conclusions and trying to come off like an expert -- you know, somebody who has an actual press pass and talks to the players and Wayne Gretzky all the time. Enjoy the picture. Big faker.

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#7 Jonathan
July 18 2008, 12:47PM
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Try Tommy Salo, Tom (don’t hurt me or I’ll tell) Poti and Cory Cross.

I'll take Cross and Salo. I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but the players actually need to have given it their all.

Poor Cross. Big and slow.

Poor Tommy. Fragile and slow.

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#8 Jonathan
July 18 2008, 01:11PM
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How do you know they’re class guys? Ever talk to either one of them? Ever talk to MacT about them? Ever talk to Kevin Lowe about them? Their teammates? Opponents? Moms? NO. Well, bigshot, I have. And I’ve talked to Wayne Gretzky (for you, Kris) MANY, MANY times, too. While Conklin and Bergeron did their best as Oilers, that doesn’t mean that they’re class guys. For all you know, they could be AWFUL, TERRIBLE, MEAN guys.

How is Ty Conklin's mom?

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#9 Cam
July 18 2008, 01:12PM
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Actually I thought Salo was a great Oiler until he took that puck off the noggin for the swedes... then he kinda went into the toilet.

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#10 RobinB
July 18 2008, 01:18PM
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Jonathan: . . . on second thought, nevermind.

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#11 Wanye Gretz
July 18 2008, 01:20PM
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I have a Wayne Gretzky poster in my basement that I talk to for hours on end. Does that count for anything? Did you know his wife was in Police Academy?

I could give two squirts of pee if Bergeron is super nice, sings like an Angel or cured cancer. All I care about is his on ice performance.

Smashing Ladd into Roloson (and once acting like an ass at Japanese Village in front of me) qualifies him as a piece of crap in my books.

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#12 RobinB
July 18 2008, 01:37PM
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Wanye: There must some explanation for Bergeron's actions at Japanese Village. I'm sure perusing the Desjardins/Smith/Jones/Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid numbers will provide a more accurate picture of what actually happened. They, as we know, mean more than what you saw with your own two eyes . . .

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#13 Jonathan
July 18 2008, 01:51PM
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They, as we know, mean more than what you saw with your own two eyes . . .

You guys actually saw Roloson get hurt? My mind blacked that out, along with the ten minutes immediately following it, and large portions of the 2006-07 NHL season. Maybe it's just me.

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#14 RobinB
July 18 2008, 02:10PM
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Jonathan: Yes I was there with my press credentials, dressing room access and close personal friend Wayne Gretzky, to whom I speak with all the time.

I remember the exact moment it happened because Terry Jones shat himself right there in the press box. That, or a sewer pipe inside the RBC Center burst at the very moment Roloson crumpled to the ice in pain with Bergeron seeing his career flashing before his eyes.

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#15 Rick
July 18 2008, 02:16PM
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"I remember the exact moment it happened because Terry Jones shat himself right there in the press box. That, or a sewer pipe inside the RBC Center burst at the very moment Roloson crumpled to the ice in pain with Bergeron seeing his career flashing before his eyes."

Ohh great, first DJ digs up a picture that conjures horrible images from the past and now you replace it with this one.

What's next some picture of two out of shape media types having a foot race at Eskimo's training camp?

I thought you guys were trying to improve traffic to this site?

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#16 RobinB
July 18 2008, 02:26PM
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Rick: Funny you should mention Bob Stauffer and I struggling along like two broken down nags in need of a bullet behind the barn.

I was in the Esks room before practice Wednesday afternoon and I walked up to Dan Comiskey, who is limping around with crutches and a cast on his broken ankle. Smirking goof that I am -- and still stinging from the memory of several 300-pound offensive linemen doubled over laughing at Stauffer and yours truly -- I said to Comiskey, "So, do you think I'd have a chance against you in the 40 now?" Comiskey shrugged, "Uh, no."

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#17 Ed
July 18 2008, 02:28PM
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It's amazing that a photograph exists of the EXACT moment 1,000,000 had their hearts broken

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#18 OregonStateFan
July 18 2008, 03:42PM
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A small tear rolled down my cheek at that exact moment. All I could think of after the game was, "What kind of ungodly hockey school did Marc Andre Bergeron go to that teaches you to throw left wingers into your goaltender? The crazy clown car school for defensemen?"

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#19 mc79hockey
July 18 2008, 06:02PM
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I don't get it. Why isn't Matt Greene in the picture? I mean Ladd was coming down his side of the ice and all, you think that he'd be in the picture...

I’m sure perusing the Desjardins/Smith/Jones/Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid numbers will provide a more accurate picture of what actually happened. They, as we know, mean more than what you saw with your own two eyes ...

Yeah. The problem with the stats is that they don't tell you how many pucks a guy took to the face.

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#20 RobinB
July 18 2008, 06:18PM
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mc79: Greene was at Japanese Village, too? He probably put Bergeron in a position to make an ass of himself in front of Wanye.

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#21 Wanye Gretz
July 18 2008, 11:28PM
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You would have been less than impressed too if you had been at JV during SCF06. Bergeron was sitting in the press box, and we watched him and his crew of buddies pounding beers and chanting "lets go Oilers" on the night before the game, less than a week after he sidelined Roloson.

Not a care in the world that night for our M-A. Everyone in the joint was shooting looks of death at who was the most hated man in Edmonton at the time. Mind you less than two weeks later no one even remembered Bergeron. We had moved on to bigger problems.

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#22 MikeP
July 19 2008, 08:18AM
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mc, you just invented a new statistic! The RobinB number; we could use it to determine how overrated a player is, based on a few striking visuals. So Malone gets a score of two for last year's playoffs, Bergeron gets one for his playoff hit on Brendan Morrow, Patrick Roy gets a few hundred - one for each Statue of Liberty save that wound up in his net after all and another for the time he raced Mike Grier to the puck and lost - and so on.

Hey, it happened in front of our eyes, right?

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#23 Gord
July 19 2008, 09:40AM
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I am sure it is flattering being courted but there comes a point when one must sit back and take a serious look at the repercussions...

I read Jonathan's blog - it is well written, logical & relevant. I would feel comfortable recommending his site to others - anything I recommend in life reflects on my values & standards.

Why Jonathan is even considering being part of this juvenile site is beyond me. "Gutter language" is fun for drunk teens, but it is not acceptable around the dinner table at a family function.

Not my path in life that is being decided - not my credibility. Just pointing out the obvious...

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#24 Rick
July 19 2008, 11:16AM
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Seriously Gord

There are more hard core discussion blogs out there than a guy needs, sometimes a little humour is a refreshing change of pace.

It's unfortunate that the type of commentay found here doesn't meet your apparently higher values and standards of life but perhaps that says more about you and the rigidness that you seem to stick to.

The type of humour found here may not be for everyone or in some cases anyone but personally I couldn't picture having a stick shoved so far up my keester that it doesn't allow for me to atleast appreciate the need for a little levity in life.

And for the record I'm in my late 30's and not some drunken teenage and yes I still find toilet humour very very funny.

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#25 Dav
July 19 2008, 11:25AM
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Hey RobinB, Speaking of terrorist's demands what happened between Jiri Dopita and yourself that rendered the former mute when it came to the press? Or am I way off? PS I LMAO at the 'release the hostages' story

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#26 mc79hockey
July 19 2008, 11:52AM
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The RobinB number; we could use it to determine how overrated a player is, based on a few striking visuals. So Malone gets a score of two for last year’s playoffs, Bergeron gets one for his playoff hit on Brendan Morrow

I like it! We'll have to weight the moments though. Like, if you break your stick and then you're chasing a guy who's on a breakaway and then you tear off your one arm to hold in your other arm so that you can dive and knock the puck off the guy's stick, it should be worth more in G7 of the SCF than in a regular season game. Once we get the kinks out though, this should be good stuff.

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#27 Peeeete.
July 19 2008, 12:21PM
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mc79: additionally, you'll have to consider which arm the player tore off. Was it his shooting arm? And does his L/R-handedness when signing autographs correspond to the way he shoots? If so/not, why? And how does all that correspond to his EV PP/H when playing in front of right-handed goalies with a save percentage between .900 and .910? Most crucially, how will having one arm affect his performance at team 'meet'n'greet' sessions at Kingsway Mall? And how will Hot Oil respond to an amputee?

This stuff is complicated.

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#28 Peeeete.
July 19 2008, 12:28PM
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And by 'EV PP/H', I meant EV PP/PK/SH H/60min/SHGx2#.*

*SHGx2# means 'saw him good twice number.'

I'm allowed to find this blog hilarious and still read IOF, right? I'm not betraying anyone?

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#29 Steve Butabi
July 19 2008, 01:35PM
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hey i mean lets talk straight up Tommy Salo lost his game and focus after we all know what happened with Mike COMRIE and the DIRTY things he did

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#30 Gord
July 19 2008, 04:39PM
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Rick,

I am not talking about humor - I am talking about "gutter talk"..... Gretz's "two squirts of pee" is what one expects to hear in a locker room - not at a family dinner...

Therefore I could not recommend this site to my grandparents, my parents, my sisters or brothers, my young nephew who plays hockey or anyone under the age of 16...

I am not saying humor has to be Bill Cosby clean. There were comedians such as George Carlin who swore - but the swearing was to either emphasize a point or was used to create an image in a comedy sketch.

But when fu** is used because the writer is too illiterate to think of another word; when the "Dear Jarrett Stoll" post & it's accompanying comments are considered humor; then a locker room "gutter talk" niche is the proper description of this site...

And since Jonathan has decided to join, I will not comment further....

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#31 Doug Butabi
July 19 2008, 06:24PM
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like hey gord how bout u chill out about i like this site because its just people being real maybe this site is not for your sister or your mother or anyone under the age of 16 take them to Kdays go have a good time and have some family fun i m sure u wont hear anyone swearing on the fairgrounds.

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#32 Doug Butabi
July 19 2008, 06:27PM
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Is it just me but Robin writes EXACTlY like he sounds on the radio ??

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#33 Jeremy
July 19 2008, 08:02PM
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Gord Says: July 19th, 2008 at 4:39 pm

Rick,

I am not talking about humor - I am talking about “gutter talk”….. Gretz’s “two squirts of pee” is what one expects to hear in a locker room - not at a family dinner…

Wow, it sure is a good thing that this a website intended for humour, and not a "Family Dinner" as you keep referring to. Hey, Robin, can you pass the potatoes? Oh and Wayne stop hogging all the spare-ribs! Did anyone remember to say grace, btw?

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#34 Rick
July 19 2008, 11:23PM
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Gord,

I am still trying to figure out why you commented on this site in the first place. You say that you felt a need to warn Jonathon into staying unassociated with this site for fear of compromising his values, standards and credibility.

But why here? Why not on his blog or through his blog try to find his e-mail to pass a message directly to him?

No, instead you posted it here which suggests to me that you were looking for a pulpit more than you were looking to make a point to Jonathon.

Personally I find the unsolicited preaching of someone else's self appointed righteous superiority just as offensive as you find the word "fuck" or the expression "two squirts of pee".

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#35 Gord
July 20 2008, 01:21AM
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Rick,

First you claimed I was a snob with no sense of humor. When that personal attack failed, you attacked my reasons for posting while impugning a religious slant. Nice try but you fail on all counts.

Maybe your IQ is so low (two can play the personal insult game) that you can not figure out why I posted here. Those with intelligence recognize I was responding to a topic thread specifically created about Jonathan joining this site.

It appears you believe this site exists so you can express your juvenile mentality. I believe this site was created as a money making venture that will attract visitors so credible bloggers will join a "one stop" marketing tool.

Which means that I & others must feel comfortable in promoting OilersNation to our friends & family - if my brother-in-law found out that I was recommending a site to my nephew that considers fu** to be an endorsed word - there would be he** to pay over Christmas dinner - if I was ever invited again...

On a relevant note, I suspect Brownlee must be scratching his head wondering if Team 1260 needs to be associated with a "gutter talk" web site.

Since you asked...

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#36 MikeP
July 20 2008, 08:35AM
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mc, good point. And if your team is behind, should it count more or less (or the same) than if your team was ahead? Peeete, Hot Oil had better respond well to an amputee unless they want a civil suit on their hands! (Or hand, if they've torn off an arm to prevent a breakaway.)

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#37 David S
July 20 2008, 01:58PM
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"Those with intelligence"...

- Would have recognized within 10 seconds that this blog was not "Family friendly" (and thank god for that!). - Could see that this is a marketing venture - Would know that people have the right to make their own decisions regarding whether they should join a blog (or anything else for that matter) as a contributor - Would realize that any successful marketing venture will never be "all things for all people"

You sir have suggested that TEAM 1260 is associated with this site - I see NO evidence of this, other than the fact that a guy who works there contributes articles and comments. I can only assume that you are making this unfounded insinuation to further your argument - not very intelligent.

Nor is it very intelligent that you are making negative comments on the obvious to support your moral position. Since I must assume that you are somewhat intelligent, then the only conclusion I can come to is that you are availing yourself of this forum to preach.

If you find this site offensive, the intelligent thing would be to stop contributing comments to that effect (what would your family think of your association with this "gutter mouth" blog???) and go on your merry, moralist way. I am sure you will be missed.

"Personally I find the unsolicited preaching of someone else’s self appointed righteous superiority just as offensive as you find the word “fuck” or the expression “two squirts of pee”."

X2

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#38 DK
July 20 2008, 03:31PM
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I have been reading this site since about December after I heard about it because of a mention on Stauffer's show.

I think what is happening is that the people with this site are trying to bring in multiple points of view and the readers of all the camps are squabbling amongst themselves.

I for one like Wanye. I thought he was an idiot at first, but I came to realize that he actually knows his stuff. I have never read anyone really like him, and I like his blend of pop culture, complete rambling and hockey knowledge.

I have a buddy just like him, and I like that frat boy point of view. Not for everyone sure, but unique. I also like Robin Brownlee, and I have for years. Reading his level of insight on this site, where the editorial handcuffs are clearly loosened has been interesting.

Rick/Gord, I believe the point is that if you don't like Wanye but like Jonathan, then read whoever you want. I also think all this squabbling will go away when the season starts and everyone has something real to discuss.

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#39 Gord
July 20 2008, 07:19PM
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This will be my final post on this site so will just point out that the agreed upon marketing strategy leaves a wee bit to be desired. According to Alexa traffic rankings.

Dobber Hockey is the 5,820th most popular website in Canada & 74,254 most popular in the USA.

Lowe Tide is 44,917 in Canada & 588,425 most popular in the United States.

Oilers Nation is the 123,336 most popular website in Canada & has no ranking in any other country.

On a relevant note Mr. Staples, canada.com is ranked #44 in Canada; I wonder how long you would be working there if you posted the fu** word throughout your blog…

And to suggest that an employee can separate the company they work for from their other activities, try posting your columns on neo-Nazi sites then see if the Edmonton Journal considers your postings “fair comment” that does not reflect upon them in any way.

Good luck in marketing your niche website. I am out of here!

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#40 Jonathan
July 20 2008, 07:25PM
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On a relevant note Mr. Staples, canada.com is ranked #44 in Canada; I wonder how long you would be working there if you posted the fu** word throughout your blog…

Just something worth noting- I bleieve David S above is a different person than David Staples of the Edmonton Journal.

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#41 David S
July 20 2008, 08:22PM
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Sorry once again if I have impugned Mr. Staples, as Jonathan is correct in stating that I am certainly not him. Its my name as I am not comfortable with using anonynames.

The "niche website" you refer to is an offshoot of a relatively new strategy called "long-tail" marketing. You might want to discuss that concept at your next family dinner.

BTW - using absurdities to support your position is also not very intelligent.

This is a fun site. Lots of different views, good information and plain fun stupidity. I especially enjoy Robin's articles and I'd be rightly pissed if some fundamentalist caused him (or any of the other guys) to stop posting.

Now can we please move on? GOILERS!

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#42 MikeP
July 20 2008, 09:29PM
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David S: "BTW - using absurdities to support your position is also not very intelligent."

Does using the term `neo-Nazi' count as an invocation of Godwin? If so, argument over, Gord lost.

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#43 fyvmvv
July 21 2008, 04:42PM
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Saint Gordon: This is primarily a site for those of us who follow the Oilers. Looking at your self-righteous blathering I was unable to find anything interesting in your comments from either a spiritual or sports perspective. You are snotty and arrogant..never to be confused with true holiness.

I wouldn't want your traits passed on to any young person.

So pee off!

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