OilersNation Exclusive: CroquetGate

Wanye
July 07 2008 01:43PM

croquet41.jpg

So we were driving over to the Municipal Airport to see if they will let us land the planes ourselves (note: they won’t) and we happen to drive by the Edmonton Oilers World HQ. For those of you in the Nation who aren’t from E-Town – they house the off ice brains of the organization over by Kingsway Mall, in Central Edmonton, pictured here:

croquet2.jpg

Ah, it’s good to see the staffers hard at work, barely 4 days into the Katz Era out on the lawn …. playing croquet. CROQUET Nation! Maybe they figure with Kay-Z owning the team they need to learn a more refined past time. Maybe they think the way to get in the new boss’ good books, is to roll him in a gentlemanly fashion, on the croquet field.

If we were Kay-Z, and we rolled past the offices in some variety of solid gold motor car, and we saw this a mere 4 days after plunking down a cool $200 million on the team, we would freak out.

croquet1.jpg

Question: If everyone is out on the lawn who is manning the S.S Oilers Battle Cruiser? Who is in charge?? Flames employees are keeping busy today by pissing away $1.95 million by signing Bertuzzi to a one year deal. Blue Jackets staff keeping occupied blowing dough too, signing RJ Umberger to a 4 year deal. Oilers staffers are playing croquet.

Aren’t there free agents to be signed? Shouldn’t they be knitting or something? Isn’t there work to be done? You have a new boss people! Look busy for heavens sake! Boil some water, get some towels ready. Do something other than this:

croquet3.jpgCroquet.

- Look for Wanye Gretz in your community, cruising around in a 1986 panel van and solving mysteries.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Ed
July 07 2008, 02:24PM
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Wow Wanye, you really went all out with your investigation here. Pictures and everything...

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#2 Chaz
July 07 2008, 02:31PM
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I guess when you've sold out 100 plus home games it's time for a break, and what better way to do so than partaking in 'The Gentleman's Game'?

Like you said Wayne, I'd rather have them play croquet than wasting millions on has-beens like Big Bad Bert down in Cow-town. I can't believe that they let Nolan go and then sign that dinosaur. If you ask me Calgary is starting on a tail-spin to the depths of the Western Conference, and I couldn't be happier about it. Too bad Avery didn't sign there!

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#3 RobinB
July 07 2008, 02:59PM
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Wanye: You simpleton. Take another look. This isn't croquet. Nooooooooo, it's a dryland run-through of the Oilers PP . . geezuz, do I have to break EVERY story around here?

And where did you get that POS panel van. Is that how you roll? Rube.

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#4 Tony Romo
July 07 2008, 03:55PM
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I can't believe you people went to the trouble of taking these pictures. HAHAHA

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#5 Wanye Gretz
July 07 2008, 03:59PM
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Robin -

It can't be a PP drill, someone (the blond lady) is standing in front of the target, and others appear to be shooting.

Nay this is croquet, and very fine croquet at that.

Oh and we got our van at the Police Auction, there was a funny smell to it at first but we got it out.

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#6 Milli
July 07 2008, 04:01PM
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Did they really sign Bertuzzi???? Hahahaha, man oh man is that funny!!!! Me, I can never say no to a bet, especially when it involves GODS team against the "lames". So, I just bet this clown from Calgary that kept showing up trying to talk shit with me....Anyway, with Big OLD as dirt Bert now a lame, I am just a few months away from being the proud owner of an autographed OILERS FLAG!!! (Now, this dude is challenged, well, obviously, he's a lames fan, haha, but I had to explain to him, it MUST BE SIGNED BY THE OILERS> Not GlennX, cuz he wishes he was an oiler, not Iggi, cuz he prays for a trade to the Oilers, but real life actual OILERS!!!!) and it looks like $$$$$money in the bank!!!!

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#7 Rick
July 07 2008, 04:03PM
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"It can’t be a PP drill, someone (the blond lady) is standing in front of the target, and others appear to be shooting."

Well someone has to play the role of Dion Phaneuf defending, no? What's more realistic than a lady in a dress?

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#8 1011011
July 07 2008, 04:28PM
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I had always thought that "The Gentleman's Game" was volleyball on horseback...

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#9 lowetide
July 07 2008, 05:20PM
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Isn't that the lawn where Pronger had his first media conference?

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#10 Wanye Gretz
July 07 2008, 06:14PM
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The very same Mr. Lowetide

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#11 David S
July 07 2008, 07:51PM
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I dunno man. Kinda looks like exercise hour at the max.

Make sure you get the windows tinted on your pedo-van Wanye!

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#12 1011011
July 07 2008, 08:19PM
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You can tell it's not Flames staff playing in these pics because one team is winning. No one employed by the Calgary Flames Hockey Club ever wins anything.

BURN!!!

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#13 Monty Burns
July 07 2008, 10:22PM
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I wouldnt stand for such insolence. I would release the hounds instead

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#14 MJ
July 08 2008, 08:39AM
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Who can I forward my dry cleaning bill to due to the coffee spewing out of my nose? Pure gold!! Long time reader, first time poster.

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#15 Chaz
July 08 2008, 09:41AM
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Hey MJ: Send the bill to the following:

Brian 'Moron' 'Delta' Burke C/O Drug Running Duck Owners Pathetic Hockey Market, California USA 90210

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#16 Rick
July 08 2008, 09:44AM
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"The very same Mr. Lowetide"

That would explain the wide strip of dead grass in the middle. It must be the route that Lauren Pronger took on her way to the presser.

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#17 Wanye Gretz
July 08 2008, 10:25AM
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It's an honor that you read the site MJ. We are big fans of oilfans.com - we love you long time!

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#18 Terry
July 08 2008, 11:15AM
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A friend of mine works for the Oilers and he heard they are pissed about this article! HAHAHA

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