TY4

Wanye
September 25 2008 08:31AM

Wanye Gretz has been stuck in Calgary the whole week... But he’s trying to stay up-beat and he’d like to thank a few people. —DJ Spyn Cycle.

  1. Thank you to The Score, for not showing a single goal in your highlight package of the game last night. After all, who wants to watch goals when you can watch 8th-round Panther draft picks getting beat up by Oilers prospects? Not a single goal. This type of sharp thinking is why The Score is tied with the Food Channel on the "channels we rarely watch" list.
  2. Thank you to Sheldon Souray for coming to the aid of Ales Hemsky at the blue line and laying a beat down extraordinaire on Ballard. We’re sorry Souray haters, what are your thoughts on that? Ah, thought so. (Extra thanks to The Score for not mentioning either players’ name in the fight. Luckily we could pick out Souray by his sexy good looks—see picture above.)
  3. Thank you to the City of Calgary for the warm hospitality you have shown us this week. In particular, your congested roads have let us slow down the hustle and bustle of daily life and smell the diesel. Also, the downtown bomb threat on Tuesday afternoon that kept us stuck in an office building was a particular treat.
  4. Thank you to Shelley Long. You continue to be a daily inspiration to me.

—Wanye Gretz is stuck in Calgary while several of his many illegitimate children takes him to court for neglect. Email him at wanyegretz@gmail.com.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 pDan
September 25 2008, 09:07AM
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The Chinook isn't the only thing that blows in Calgary - notably the Flames.

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#2 The Towel Boy
September 25 2008, 09:43AM
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lawl

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#3 george
September 25 2008, 09:45AM
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i was soundly heckled last night when i drafted Hemsky with my 3rd round(33rd overall) pick last night. I'm still trying wrap my head around this.

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#4 Sean
September 25 2008, 10:14AM
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George, Hemsky at 31 overall has to be a good pick. He went 21 in mine.

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#5 Kent
September 25 2008, 10:36AM
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I'd defend the roads, but they drive me crazy too. There isn't a day goes by that I don't threaten bodily harm on some unknown civil planner/engineer/road worker.

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#6 Chaz
September 25 2008, 10:43AM
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Hey Wayne,

Are the local media there predicting that the Flamers win the cup in 5 or 6 games? Also, have they discovered that Phaneuf is the most overrated player in the league yet? If not, don't tell them. They'll figure it out eventually...

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#7 Tommy
September 25 2008, 11:19AM
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Chaz - actually there is a huge article in the Herald today about how great Phaneuf is. How is this for a laughable quote:

"If there was any shred of doubt before, Dion Phaneuf is hereforth bequeathed the title from the Candy Man himself. He does it all. Has it all. Flaunts it all. Consider the range, the breadth, of his performance on Wednesday. For openers, yet! Astonishing."

So yeahhhh, haven't figured it out yet, I am thinking the media is hopeless.

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#8 RobinB
September 25 2008, 12:54PM
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Wanye: Fess up, you fibber. My sources in the City of Cattle tell me you ended up face down in a puddle of vomit at the French Maid after spending all of Wednesday night roaming around the joint with a pocketful of loonies.

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#9 Rick
September 25 2008, 01:01PM
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RobinB:

Was it his vomit or the peelers vomit?

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#10 Wanye Gretz
September 25 2008, 01:06PM
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Robin -

You know darn well we are BOTH banned for life from the French Maid.

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#11 David S
September 25 2008, 01:12PM
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(Leslie Nielson voice)

"The French Maid? We're familiar with the place."

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#12 shau_co
September 25 2008, 03:37PM
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Sean, funny thing - Hemsky went 21 in my league too... wait a minute.

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#13 ART D
September 25 2008, 07:44PM
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I will have you all know that the french maid has a wonderful buffet... Its a very nice "spread"

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#14 Doogie2K
September 25 2008, 10:08PM
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Having been to two of the three French Maids in town, I much preferred the Chinook one. I went to the Sunridge one about four years ago, and the dancers weren't anything special.

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