Calling all bandwagon-jumpers...

Wanye
January 22 2009 10:31AM

We have had four messages from buddies/readers that basically say, “WHOA, you can actually see the bandwagon start to fill up on the Nation right now can’t you? It happened in like a day! Bet you don’t want to fire MacT now do you Wanye, you wanker?”

Originally we thought, “Yeah WTF? We hate bandwagon jumpers more than we hate people from Norman Wells. And we hate people from Norman Wells.”

But after some re-reading of comments we realize that the bulk of bandwagon climber-onners are Citizens of the Nation who are die-hard fans who comment all the time. In our mind they have earned the right to be unreasonably optimistic if they so choose. It’s the folks that altogether ignore the Oil -- or even worse diss them continually when they are in the toilet only to climb aboard the wagon when the team inevitably catches fire each spring -- that we really hate. These bandwagon-jumping idiots can just go back to Norman Wells and spend their days combing their moustaches and watching Season 3 of Magnum PI for all we care.

Losers.

Now we have these bandwagon-jumping clowns saying, “But Wanye you wanted to see MacT fired and thrown into the street by the same RX1 ushers who throw out anyone who has more than half a beer in their possession. Now, you're sending him daily boxes of toenails to show him your love. You're a bandwagon jumper too just like us.”

Here’s the thing. We look at MacT like we look at any other appliance with a specific function. For the sake of argument let’s call him a hot plate.

[caption id="attachment_6064" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Fig. 1: Coach MacTavish"]Fig. 1: Coach MacTavish[/caption]

If we have a hot plate and it’s working, life is good. We can heat up our beans, or some nice soup, or whatever we need to be hot at any given moment. We love the hot plate. But the instant that thing doesn’t bring our creamed corn to a piping hot temperature what do we do?

We throw out the hot plate.

Why? Because it no longer works. We don’t sit and try and convince the hot plate to do a better job. We don’t think to ourselves, “Maybe it’s the corn’s fault for not heating up,” or “Maybe it will work better in a few months.” We don’t blame it on the toaster or decide that tepid corn is an acceptable alternative. No. When the hot plate stops working we go and get ourselves a new hot plate.

Same with the coaching staff. You certainly don’t want a revolving door of coaches who are canned the instant the Oil fall behind in the first period of a game. Long-term coaching stability is good for a franchise -- assuming they're doing a good job. But at the same time if you have a coaching staff that is incapable of heating up the team beyond a tepid temperature in the long run, it’s time to get new coaching staff. All the people that say “Eight years of mediocrity ain’t it” are correct in our mind. Sometimes the old hot plate fires up for a few days and all is well again, but it doesn’t mean we won’t be price shopping for a new one and waiting for it to finally pack it in.

It’s not rocket science. We like our hockey like we like our cream corn. Hotter than a $3 pistol.

So going into the all star game we love all the excitement up in this piece because that old hot plate seems to be working again. But we still have one eye on the door in case we need to go to the store.

I think this is one of our most analytical articles to date. Ever call MacT a hot plate, Professor Willis?

Thought not.

Now if you will excuse us, we have a war to prepare for.

PS: four days till Gretzmas.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 MJ
January 22 2009, 10:37AM
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I am not even cautiously optimistic yet. But I am anxious for the Buffalo and Minnesota games next week. I'll be watching with the hopes I'll start February as an optimistic Oiler fan again.

They haven't done enough to turn my negative machine off yet, but they're close.

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#2 SeanS
January 22 2009, 10:41AM
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I dont really think its bandwagon jumping to be angry at the Oilers when they arn't winning and happy when they are. Its the people that claim they won't ever watch another Oilers game until they fix all the problems etc etc etc. When the Oilers lose its heartbreaking and its like Beer, no matter how sick it makes you one night you are back to it the next.

P.S The hotplate is still broken and sooner or later someone is going to get burnt if you dont fix it.

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#3 The Towel Boy
January 22 2009, 10:43AM
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Hence forth, Craig Nathaniel Louis MacTavish shall be known as HotPlate (tm).

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#4 r59
January 22 2009, 10:44AM
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MacT is a hotplate ...... I'm going to have to think about this for a bit Wanye. There is no one else that talks like you do. LOL

Hot plate

*shakes head and laughs*

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#5 Wanye Gretz
January 22 2009, 10:46AM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

Hence forth, Craig Nathaniel Louis MacTavish shall be known as HotPlate ™.

Who saw this coming???

TBoy4Lyfe

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#6 Tankit4Tavares
January 22 2009, 10:50AM
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What was comparing him to a blender to obvious? (Groans)

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#7 MattL
January 22 2009, 10:55AM
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Yep, the complexity of any workplace involving the efforts of 30+ people constantly working together in different combinations, competing with 30 other groups of 30+ people is EXACTLY as simple as a hot-plate heating up some weenie-beanie.

Yep. Exactly as many variables in place.

What somebody needs to do is hook up a CoachMeter to MacT's positive and negative terminals, see if any Coaching is coming out, and then either keep him or take him to the Coach Recycling Facility (AKA. Calgary Flames Organization.)

p.s. You can see why bands don't roll around on wagons anymore, people always jumping on and off, and you're just trying to keep a beat with the Sousaphone...

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#8 The Medi Center.
January 22 2009, 10:56AM
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I have tensor bandages on hold for when the jumpers break their ankles.

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#9 Wanye Gretz
January 22 2009, 10:57AM
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MattL wrote:

Yep, the complexity of any workplace involving the efforts of 30+ people constantly working together in different combinations, competing with 30 other groups of 30+ people is EXACTLY as simple as a hot-plate heating up some weenie-beanie. Yep. Exactly as many variables in place. What somebody needs to do is hook up a CoachMeter to MacT’s positive and negative terminals, see if any Coaching is coming out, and then either keep him or take him to the Coach Recycling Facility (AKA. Calgary Flames Organization.)

See MattL gets it.

The coachmeter is an excellent idea too. Remember how we couldn't hook Ted Green up to it cause of that plate in his head?

It was so hard to get a read on that guy.

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#10 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 11:12AM
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Finally it's broken down into words that I can understand! Thanks for speaking my language Wanye. hint, hint Willis!)

p.s. I got my Nation shirt yesterday and I am sporting it today. It's looking tight... as in good, not as in too small. A thought though... The Oilersnation.com should be a little more visible and the logo too. It's hard for people not in the know to... know what I am sporting. But Damn it's sexy.

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#11 Chris R
January 22 2009, 11:12AM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Wow even deleted JSBM from the voices of the nation page. You sure are sh*t hurt aren’t you?

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#12 Colin
January 22 2009, 11:12AM
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The coach-o-meter has already rendered it's judgement.

Sometimes it hits 55 and sometimes it's at zero, (it depends if a plugger is stuck in it or not)

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#13 Steele
January 22 2009, 11:16AM
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Yep,

What have I beens saying? The coaches are not the problem. Subterfuge all you want, but you are a bandwagon jumper!

~Steele

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#14 freeze
January 22 2009, 11:20AM
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The team has been much better and deserves some kudos. I'm still on the fire MacT band wagon though. Remember when the whole motivation thing came up and everyone said we have to blame the players for that and not the coaches? Well, looks like they've taken care of it, but we cannot credit the coaches either. Therefore, hooray for the players but Hotplate and co. still need to go. The PP is still not as good as it should be, nor the PK. We also need a game strategy for tight checking/defense-first teams. If we can run and gun we do much better but we have a hell of a time penetrating the zone when there are four opposing players standing on the line.

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#15 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 11:21AM
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Steele wrote:

Subterfuge

Listen to you....

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#16 BUCK75
January 22 2009, 11:24AM
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@ Travis Dakin:

I wore my 'revolution' Tee to the game on Sunday. The ppl behind me thought it was an Obama support T-Shirt (something about that fist). You definately get some looks wearing the gear.

MacT compared to a hot plate is hillarious! Funny thing is I am eating some beans & weiners right now prepared on a MacT. Nothing beats comfort food in a blizzard.

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#17 Jack Tripper
January 22 2009, 11:26AM
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I hate people from Norman Wells too! Who the hell names their town after the guy who played Mr. Roper? What, was there a town named Joyce DeWitt already?

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#18 rindog
January 22 2009, 11:30AM
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I will bet you that you won't find 5 people that have changed their minds.

If they wanted him fired 3 weeks ago - thye still want him fired now!

Maybe, we could make it a poll on Crude Talk???

If you wanted MacT fired at some point this season; have you changed your mind?

Yes, I have changed my mind - don't fire him!

No, I haven't changed my mind, I still want him gone!

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#19 Dropping Deuces
January 22 2009, 11:36AM
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I have one foot firmly on the Oilers bandwagon and one foot firmly on the fire MacT bandwagon. I sure hope I don't tear my groin.

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#20 Rice
January 22 2009, 11:42AM
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Maybe we need to invent a new appliance called a hotblender...it heats while it blends! Then we have the real MacT

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#21 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 11:45AM
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Rice wrote:

Maybe we need to invent a new appliance called a hotblender…it heats while it blends! Then we have the real MacT

Listen to Mr. Popiel here! Can you scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell?

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#22 Ender the Dragon
January 22 2009, 11:45AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

When the hot plate stops working we go and get ourselves a new hot plate.

See, this is disposable society mentality. Why throw something out instead of fixing it? If the problem is that you took your hotplate out to play in the street and as a result it ran down the wrong side of a gravel truck, then perhaps a new hotplate is in order. I'm sure there are many examples of coaches who have come and gone never to resurface in the NHL again that fit this scenario; they're O-V-E-R.

Many hotplates are recycled; one owner gets frustrated and tosses their hotplate out next to the dumpster, and within a day a member of the Maple Leafs Appliance Repair Team or some similar company is dusting it off and figuring out what wire needs to be re-sodered to make this a servicable kitchen item again.

A few hotplates are tossed out without a glance as soon as the breaker goes. Not smart in our opinion, but to each his own.

The analogy isn't perfect, here, but ask yourself these two questions:

1) If MacT was fired tomorrow, hands up everyone who doesn't think he'd be running a new team before the start of next season, and

2) If the Oilers brought in (Name_1 and Name_2) who promptly started winning some face-offs and the players continued to have a monthly tete-a-tete to maintain their winning ways, would people still be hacking on MacT for lousy coaching when the team's win percentage went up?

MattL does get it. 'Coaching' is coming out of the Oil as much as is coming out of most hotplates in the NHL today. And if you're going to argue and insist that it's time to recycle, at least promise me you're not looking to bring in an even worse hotplate from out beside the neighborhood dumpster.

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#23 Dropping Deuces
January 22 2009, 12:18PM
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The problem I have with our hotplate is that it takes forever to heat the beans. You wait and wait and they stay cold. Then all of a sudden the hotplate kicks in and the beans are so hot you burn you're mouth on them. But by the time their ready its too late, you already nuked some corn. Also, I do notwant a recycled hot plate, I want a new one. The same place Washington found the Boudreau 2500 model.

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#24 Steele
January 22 2009, 12:20PM
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Dropping Deuces wrote:

I have one foot firmly on the Oilers bandwagon and one foot firmly on the fire MacT bandwagon. I sure hope I don’t tear my groin.

FUNNY!!!! :)

~Steele

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#25 Teufel
January 22 2009, 12:21PM
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Every city has bandwagon jumpers. I live in Vancouver and it amazes how quickly everyone abandons the Canucks when they have a poor stretch of games. When the team is on top, everyone talks about them, but when they're sucking, no one talks about them. Anywhere. Ever. Unless it's a game night you won't see a single Canucks jersey, t-shirt or hat anywhere in the entire city until the team goes on another tear.

It always irks me when people abandon their team. I was born in Quebec city and raised in Manitoba. Yeah, it might suck if the home team is losing, but it's better to cheer for a team that's losing than to have no team to cheer for. Love 'em while you got 'em.

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#26 RLH
January 22 2009, 12:25PM
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That Youtube confuses me. What did I just watch?

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#27 Dana @ AgileStyle
January 22 2009, 12:40PM
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@ Chris R: No, you're looking at a wonderful mix of crappy IE, crappy Flash, and incorrectly inserting of a youtube movie into a post. JSBM are still there, they just appear behind the movie.

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#28 Oilersordeath
January 22 2009, 12:42PM
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If I had a fricken nickel for everytime I said "I'm never watching an game Oilers again"!! You all know what I'm talking about cuz we all say it. Its just not possible to watch TV knowing the Oilers are playing, and not switch over to the game!

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#29 shakey
January 22 2009, 12:51PM
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I've bought old beans, beans that have a rep as being quality beans, beans that should be good when I get them. I've also tried some new beans, beans that looked like they had some real potential when they were younger beans. I even tried stealing some beans from other guys because I heard they were good beans. I bought domestic beans and import beans, big and small...mostly small lately...but no matter how many beans I try, they never seem to satisfy for an extended period of time. You'd think with all of these different beans over several years that a guy could find the right mix of beans to improve on the last batch of beans. I don't think it's a bean problem anymore. Maybe it's how I'm cooking these beans...

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#30 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 12:58PM
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@ shakey:

small beans never satisfy

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#31 Antony Ta
January 22 2009, 01:00PM
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The Oilers improved performance has more to do with Hemsky than MacTavish. I would still fire him anyway.

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#32 Dropping Deuces
January 22 2009, 01:05PM
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Antony Ta wrote:

The Oilers improved performance has more to do with Hemsky than MacTavish. I would still fire him anyway.

Does this have anything to do with beans? Get back on topic.

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#33 Colin
January 22 2009, 01:08PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

@ shakey: small beans never satisfy

Is that from personal experience? :P

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#34 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 01:10PM
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@ Colin:

Oh it's true. You need really big meaty beans to get the job done. Wait.... what are we talking about?

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#35 Tyler
January 22 2009, 01:21PM
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But the instant that thing doesn’t bring our creamed corn to a piping hot temperature what do we do? We throw out the hot plate. Why? Because it no longer works. We don’t sit and try and convince the hot plate to do a better job. We don’t think to ourselves, “Maybe it’s the corn’s fault for not heating up,” or “Maybe it will work better in a few months.” We don’t blame it on the toaster or decide that tepid corn is an acceptable alternative. No. When the hot plate stops working we go and get ourselves a new hot plate.

Sometimes this is hard for us, because it is very dark in the house and none of the lights seem to work. We have a hard time finding our keys. We are unsure if the stores are still open because all of our digital clocks seem to stop working. We are unable to find out where one would purchase a new hot plate because our computer has also stopped working.

NONE OF THAT MATTERS. We will walk, if necessary, going from business to business until we find a place that is open and that sells new hot plates so that we can replace the old one.

Of course, sometimes we then get home and find that the old hot plate is working again. We don't really know if the new hot plate will work - we couldn't really see in the store because it was dark in there, just like it was in our house when we left. Once, we thought we bought a new hot plate but it turned out that we accidentally bought a turntable. Rather than admit our error and use the old hot plate that worked, we went out and bought a third hot plate. Clearly, this was the correct decision.

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#36 Hoodlum
January 22 2009, 02:22PM
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Cool beans Travis, coo...coo...cool beaaaaaaannnnnnnssss

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#37 Rob
January 22 2009, 02:23PM
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Pleez can I drive the bandwagon over MacT's head now that there are lots of fat asses on board?? Huh can I...Huh?

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#38 Ender the Dragon
January 22 2009, 02:55PM
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Dropping Deuces wrote:

I do notwant a recycled hot plate, I want a new one. The same place Washington found the Boudreau 2500 model.

The trouble with picking up a new hotplate is knowing where to get one. It would be really great if there were some kind of big appliance market where you could go and pick up something that was guaranteed, factory-tested, and CSA approved; trouble is, it's not that easy in the NHL. All the factory-tested hotplates are under contract and the ones that are turning out piping hot beans every year are signed long-term. And it's not like you can go to your neighbor's house and say 'Hey, that's a pretty nice hotplate you've got there; can I have it?'

So the alternative is to do what Washington did; go to the kid down the street and say 'Hey, that was a pretty nice cheese-slicer you built for the science fair out of a piece of hot wire and a battery. Think you could build me a hotplate?' and the kid says 'Sure.' A week later, you find out what you bought; maybe a functional hotplate at a great price, maybe a big insurance claim on your kitchen. You rolls the dice, you takes your chances.

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#39 Mark Martin
January 22 2009, 04:01PM
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Whatever happened to JSBM posting blogs on here?

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#40 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 04:18PM
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Mark Martin wrote:

Whatever happened to JSBM posting blogs on here?

One of lifes great mysteries...

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#41 Ender the Dragon
January 22 2009, 04:32PM
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I note that JSBM has been removed from 'Voices of the Nation' at the top of the page, but then so has JW, so I'm not sure what's going on . . .

Unless Amber has agreed to to triple her output with generous inclusions of profanity-laced statistics . . .

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#42 BUCK75
January 22 2009, 04:38PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote:

I note that JSBM has been removed from ‘Voices of the Nation’ at the top of the page, but then so has JW, so I’m not sure what’s going on . . . Unless Amber has agreed to to triple her output with generous inclusions of profanity-laced statistics . . .

Everyone is still on there - just not when there is a youube video as the picture. I looked in another article.

Dana @ AgileStyle wrote: No, you’re looking at a wonderful mix of crappy IE, crappy Flash, and incorrectly inserting of a youtube movie into a post. JSBM are still there, they just appear behind the movie.

@ Mark Martin:

JSBM has a blog too - read it if you like...

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#43 BUCK75
January 22 2009, 04:39PM
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@ BUCK75:

I guess I forgot to put the quotations around Dana's post.

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#44 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 04:40PM
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@ BUCK75:

holy man I thought the Nation was crumbling. Phew.

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#45 shakey
January 22 2009, 04:46PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

@ BUCK75: holy man I thought the Nation was crumbling. Phew.

Not sure about jeanshorts but we couldn't go on without baggy. At least I couldn't...:(

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#46 BUCK75
January 22 2009, 04:51PM
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@ Travis Dakin:

I noticed you share my view of PETA as well...lol

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#47 Travis Dakin
January 22 2009, 04:56PM
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BUCK75 wrote:

@ Travis Dakin: I noticed you share my view of PETA as well…lol

Ha I think mine is a pretty popular opinion.

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#48 Smokin' Ray
January 22 2009, 06:10PM
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I for one have said that from day one that I like MacT. I can't say that it has always been that way. He grew on me. I just find it funny that people were quick to say MacT is a bum. Yet... as it turns out, it was the players that had the issues. Not MacT. He was just trying to do his job while players couldn't get along.

MacT for Mayor!!!

ok. That did sound dumb. Sorry. But he is a good coach.

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#49 Smokin' Ray
January 22 2009, 06:14PM
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I also said that this team, this year will make it to the SCF. I stand by that still too.

GO OILERS!

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#50 MikeP
January 22 2009, 06:15PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote: And it’s not like you can go to your neighbor’s house and say ‘Hey, that’s a pretty nice hotplate you’ve got there; can I have it?‘

No, but you can trick your neighbour into throwing the hotplate out. Here's how: make sure the hotplate wins an award. The way the NHL goes through hotplates is it wins an award, then winds up in the blue bin the next year. So just lie in wait by the recycling. Don't forget the taser for the guy from the halfway house down the road who's had his eye on the same hotplate. I think he's from Vancouver or something.

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