Moose Jaw Diaries

Wanye
January 26 2009 10:38AM

Where do you go when it's freezing in your hometown? Somewhere warm? Somewhere you can sit on a beach and have a margarita? To a knitting convention in Missouri? Well we went to Moose Jaw and we got our drink on. And we did nothing much else but sit around, hammer back Cold Certifieds and think about dancing girls and hockey.

All-Star Game

Yeah yeah yeah. Souray scored two goals and Andrew Cogliano won the fastest skater competition. Isn't that something. You know what else is even more something? Every single second of the NHL season including the pre-season that doesn't involve the All-Star Game.

Don't get us wrong, it's great to see Oilers on display and bringing the thunder. But the All-Star Game is 500 shades of suck. Datsyuk and Lidstrom didn't even show up, for heavens sakes. You can't sit here and tell us that the players went to Montreal and gave it their all. Come on. Sheldon Souray didn't even win the hardest shot competition. We can tell you that if Sheldon Souray wanted to win the hardest shot competition then Sheldon Souray would have won the hardest shot competition. Why didn't Souray take the prize? We can tell you why:

Sheldon Souray didn't win because Sheldon Souray doesn't have to prove anything to anyone at any time.

Sheldon Souray having to win the hardest shot competition to prove he has the hardest shot is like Chara having to enter a "big donkey" competition to prove he is a big donkey. Please. Sheldon Souray is a stone -hearted killer who can win anything he desires using only the power of his mind. Sheldon Souray won the 2006 World Series of Poker, despite the notable handicap of holding a King of Diamonds, a half filled Subway Club card, a seven of clubs, eight of spades and a Mewtwo Holofoil Pokemon Trading Card.

Nope. If Souray didn't win the hardest shot competition it's cause he doesn't want it. If he doesn't want it neither do we.

*spits on imaginary hardest shot trophy*

A new rule

Drinking in Moose Jaw gives a person a hangover in Moose Jaw. A hangover in Moose Jaw gives that same person some time to think. On the eve of The War commencing, we have this sneaking suspicion that we are going to have a whole bunch of new visitors to our little underground pornographic website right away. More and more your old pal Wanye is going to have to become the Minister of Defense for the writers of the sites and keep a handle on some of the commentary.

Believe us, this is not something we want to do. If it were up to us the title of every article would be "BONER TIME? SQUEEEEEEE!" But having re-read some of the comments that we have let slide realize that we have to tighten up a bit. This doesn't mean that we are going to start editing things to the point you can't say "Pronger" on here nor does it mean that JL meetings are suddenly going to be about hockey. But we are going to take a more defensive stance for the Willis, Brownlees and Gregors of the world. The JSBMs, the Amber McCormicks and Wanyes of the world will continue to welcome the filthy nonsense.

So here is the new rule:

You can't attack the writers personally.

Two of them are "actual journalists" with a reputation that we don't really want to have destroyed because they got into a five-week debate with someone named "hunnybunz69" about whether or not they are in love with K-Lowe and send him flowers on Valentine's Day.

The comments on this site are to the point where they are better than some of the articles -- particularly the articles that we write. With the amount that Brownlee and Gregor are commenting and talking shop, they are basically writing a three-hour live story with commenting guest writers. We are all very fortunate that they do this because it isn't in either of their contracts. And we can't think of another site where you can ask questions of a guy who has been an NHL sportswriter for the past 198 years or the main Sports Radio Host in town and they will actually answer you. When they don't know the answers they actually go and ask the players/coaches/GMs and settle the issue once and for all. No one does that anywhere that we know of.

We are fortunate to be a part of the Oilogosphere here at the Nation. Believe it or not this is the 32,426th busy website in Canada. We know. Crazy right? And for us to take down the Royal Canadian Mint (number 5,006) and Panago.com (15,269) we have to start being a bit more protective of our writers.

So don't make it personal with the writers. Well wait. You can call us whatever you want. We don't give two squirts what our shitanus haters think of us. We enjoy the hatred. It makes us stronger.

"You suck Wanye"

- Wanye Gretz

We sure do.

Last thing - The Wanye Gretz All Star Game

To show you how little we care about the All Star game let's play our very own game. You say something that happened during the All Star weekend and we will tell you what we think of it. Here we will get it started in the comments section.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 Wanye Gretz Hater
January 26 2009, 10:41AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye - what do you think about Kovalev being named MVP?

Avatar
#2 Wanye Gretz
January 26 2009, 10:41AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz Hater wrote:

Wanye - what do you think about Kovalev being named MVP?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Avatar
#3 The Towel Boy lover
January 26 2009, 10:45AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz Hater wrote:

Wanye - what do you think about Kovalev being named MVP?

Who saw that coming?!?

Avatar
#4 RBK
January 26 2009, 10:45AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

"32,426th busy website in Canada."

LOL Way to go!

Avatar
#5 The Towel Boy
January 26 2009, 10:46AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Towel Boy lover wrote:

Who saw that coming?!?

...I did.

Avatar
#6 The Towel Boy
January 26 2009, 10:47AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

RBK wrote:

“32,426th busy website in Canada.” LOL Way to go!

Think of all the 100's of thousands of other websites in canada that wish they were in the top 32,426!

Take that Jack E. Billingsworth Elementary School!

Avatar
#7 one off
January 26 2009, 10:48AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

OK, I'll bite. Wanye - We all know Cogs isn't actually the fastest skater in the league. Where do you think he actually ranks?

Avatar
#8 Wanye Gretz
January 26 2009, 10:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Towel Boy wrote:

Take that Jack E. Billingsworth Elementary School!

The Vice Principal at JEB Elementary owes me $20 and pretends like he doesn't know me when we meet in the street. Now we have our revenge.

@ one off: Tough to say. He certainly makes his speed evident from time to time but I wouldn't personally put him top ten. Would you?

Avatar
#9 RLH
January 26 2009, 10:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

one off wrote:

OK, I’ll bite. Wanye - We all know Cogs isn’t actually the fastest skater in the league. Where do you think he actually ranks?

Wait, wait, let me do this for you, Wanye.

"ZZZZ"

The man's hung over, keep the questions under five syllables.

Avatar
#10 Chris
January 26 2009, 11:02AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Cole was faster than Cogs at the Edmonton skills competition. The skating coach says Hemsky is even faster... So the Oilers are obviously awesome fast up front. Does it sound like I'm back on the Koolaid?

Avatar
#11 7th round draft pick
January 26 2009, 11:07AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Sheldon Souray didn’t win because Sheldon Souray doesn’t have to prove anything to anyone at any time.

Ha Ha, I love it!!!!

Avatar
#12 The Towel Boy
January 26 2009, 11:10AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Chris:

Yeah, Cole was faster...but to be fair though...the Oilers Skills comp fastest skating drill has the nets pushed in towards the middle of the ice giving more room to get those crossovers going around the bend. That could be why the Oilers times were in the 13's earlier this month.

Avatar
#13 Travis Dakin
January 26 2009, 11:25AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Towel Boy wrote:

@ Chris: Yeah, Cole was faster…but to be fair though…the Oilers Skills comp fastest skating drill has the nets pushed in towards the middle of the ice giving more room to get those crossovers going around the bend. That could be why the Oilers times were in the 13’s earlier this month.

Which is exactly why Gartners record is so fast. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEVi0Tv4jqU

@ Wanye Gretz: Welcome back bro. Life sucks without you.

Avatar
#14 Milli
January 26 2009, 11:32AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Souray actually did win, but the gun wasn't working, so, after the game, he coldcocked both the gun runner and that 8 foot dude. They are both, still today, unconsious outside the montreal arena.

Avatar
#15 Wanye Gretz
January 26 2009, 11:32AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Travis Dakin wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: Welcome back bro. Life sucks without you.

That is a nice thing to say ...

*bursts into tears, tries to run to bathroom but runs into wall instead*

Avatar
#16 BUCK75
January 26 2009, 11:33AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

That hardest shot comp is a sham. They waste 30 seconds a guy doing a stupind break-away contest & the hardest shot comp you only get 2 shots? It's almost like they want to get it over with as fast as possible. Even home-run derby they get 10 swings - you would think that if you were able to shoot the puck 100MPH you should get more than 2 chances...JMHO.

Avatar
#17 r59
January 26 2009, 11:46AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Milli wrote:

Souray actually did win, but the gun wasn’t working, so, after the game, he coldcocked both the gun runner and that 8 foot dude. They are both, still today, unconsious outside the montreal arena.

LOLZ

Avatar
#18 Dennis Castro
January 26 2009, 12:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

As far as the allstar game and skills competition goes in the words of Comic book guy "worst episode ever". The biggest problem is that the game means nothing, should be like MLB and decide home ice for the finals. But than again this is Gary's world we just have to live in it.

Avatar
#19 one off
January 26 2009, 12:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Dennis Castro wrote:

As far as the allstar game and skills competition goes in the words of Comic book guy “worst episode ever”. The biggest problem is that the game means nothing, should be like MLB and decide home ice for the finals. But than again this is Gary’s world we just have to live in it.

@ Dennis Castro:

Bettman has actually mandated that we must enjoy the Allstar game. If we were given the honour and privilege of watching the game, but failed to enjoy it, then we also have to not enjoy either the last game before the allstar break, or the first game after it.

Avatar
#20 Travis Dakin
January 26 2009, 12:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ BUCK75:

EXACTLY!!! The first shot you are just warming up. the second shot you're thinking "Damn, I better not screw this up." I say give them 5 chances. Then you are going to see some bombs.

Avatar
#21 Dropping Deuces
January 26 2009, 12:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

How about the announcers hard hitting qestions.

Scott Oake - What is the trick to the fastest skater competition?

Mike Modano - Uh, probably skate fast.

Oake - Hmm, interesting.

Avatar
#22 caveman pacino
January 26 2009, 12:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

"Sheldon Souray won the 2006 World Series of Poker, despite the notable handicap of holding a King of Diamonds, a half filled Subway Club card, a seven of clubs, eight of spades and a Mewtwo Holofoil Pokemon Trading Card."

i swear i read this in a chuck norris bathroom reader...

Avatar
#23 Dennis Castro
January 26 2009, 01:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

one off wrote:

Bettman has actually mandated that we must enjoy the Allstar game. If we were given the honour and privilege of watching the game, but failed to enjoy it, then we also have to not enjoy either the last game before the allstar break, or the first game after it.

Well played my good sir!!

Avatar
#24 Jason Gregor
January 26 2009, 01:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

But we are going to take a more defensive stance for the Willis, Brownlees and Gregors of the world. The JSBMs, the Amber McCormicks and Wanyes of the world will continue to welcome the filthy nonsense.

Let me just say that I enjoy the debates and good questions. I don't claim to know all so feel free to question things, and I don't mind some filthy nonsense either...I'm just saying...

Avatar
#25 The Towel Boy
January 26 2009, 01:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Jason Gregor:

Oh man...I can't wait to know something more than you do so I can rip you a new one and argue it until I'm blue in the face!

*waits for eternity*

Avatar
#26 Ender the Dragon
January 26 2009, 01:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Jason Gregor:

Jason, I don't always agree with you and I refuse to kiss ass just because you're in the biz, but I respect the hell out of what you do and appreciate your contribution to this site. Thanks for making life quite a bit more interesting.

Avatar
#27 Jonathan Willis
January 26 2009, 02:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers
But we are going to take a more defensive stance for the Willis, Brownlees and Gregors of the world. The JSBMs, the Amber McCormicks and Wanyes of the world will continue to welcome the filthy nonsense.

As with Jason above (and proably with Robin Brownlee too) I really don't mind getting questioned on stuff and having my points criticized or debated.

The thing is that this is supposed to be fun - for the readers, writers, commenters - everyone. We had great debate on the two stats posts over the weekend, and I think as long as everyone remembers that we're arguing a) often trivial points b) relating to a sports team c) on the internet d) largely with people we don't know and will never meet, and doesn't take things too personally, we'll be OK. Let's keep it fun.

Avatar
#28 RobinB
January 26 2009, 02:37PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Not take it personally? I'm calling for a $%#^ing knife fight down by the %^^*ing bike racks at 3 p.m. I'm tired of taking f*^$ing sh$t from a bunch of mouth-breathing c#@&suckers who'd never have the pills to say this stuff to my $%^$ing face. Bunch of @^#&%^#@*ing pussies.

Aside from that, great assessment, Jon.

Avatar
#29 Travis Dakin
January 26 2009, 02:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ RobinB:

what language is that? Awesome.

Avatar
#30 The Towel Boy
January 26 2009, 03:55PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Travis Dakin:

I believe it's an ancient tongue spoken by a tribe of journalists that once walked the earth a few centuries ago. Robin, you were there, am I right?

Avatar
#31 David S
January 26 2009, 05:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

RobinB wrote:

I’m calling for a $%#^ing knife fight down by the %^^*ing bike racks at 3 p.m.

That's just plain funny.

Seriously though, I'm all for a reduction in the mouth-breather posts. This site has alot to offer with Gregor and Brownlee and I'd be right p*ssed if they left because of the d-bag content.

Avatar
#32 RobinB
January 26 2009, 05:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ The Towel Boy: Yes. I was just a cub reporter back then. It's a dialect you learn when your laptop bites the weenie in Chicago right before deadline and your editor has told you not to bother showing up for work the next day unless your story gets there in the next 10 minutes.

Avatar
#33 RobinB
January 26 2009, 05:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

David S wrote:

RobinB wrote: I’m calling for a $%#^ing knife fight down by the %^^*ing bike racks at 3 p.m. That’s just plain funny. Seriously though, I’m all for a reduction in the mouth-breather posts. This site has alot to offer with Gregor and Brownlee and I’d be right p*ssed if they left because of the d-bag content.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm with Gregor. I don't mind debate about players and moves the Oilers coaches and management makes.

I don't even mind the stats-guys and the "seen it myself" crowd, of which I'm a part, taking opposing stances -- although it seems both sides of the argument are guilty of spending too much time and too many words trying to discredit the other side and prove they're right.

What I don't need is people suggesting I've got my lips permanently attached to Kevin Lowe's backside or that I should find a different line of work after 25 years because I have a take that differs from what they believe.

This is supposed to be fun.

Avatar
#34 Amber
January 26 2009, 07:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

32,426th??? Looks like I'm going to have to get all Erin Brockovich and bump us up to 32,424th.

Comments are closed for this article.