Makes us sick

Wanye
January 28 2009 10:24AM

Ever go to RX1 to see a hockey game only to see a 23-man suckfest break out instead?

Sweet Suri Cruise that was the suckiest bunch of suck that ever sucked. Hadn't we gotten past all this nonsense with the team turning the corner of late? Hadn't the Oilers gone into the All-Star Break having won 5 of 6? Those sucking Oilers couldn't even suck a something something out of a... Ah, screw it. The only thing worse than witnessing a game like that is writing about a game like that. If we didn’t love the Nation so much we would be in a hole somewhere drinking to kill the pain.

We would rather have an six-hour rectal exam from an unqualified Honduran doctor with severe Parkinson's than be forced to watch another game of that quality ever again. There was no fight. There was no fire. We can’t even recall any fisticuffs of any sort. Mind you we had seven RX1 beers to drown out the Sabres fans sitting happily beside us. That is now TWO games of that shitanusly™ awful quality we have been forced to witness this season, Nation.

The Oilers should be forced to skip practice today and instead go sit in a temporary call center and call each and every person who had to witness even a single moment of that "game" and apologize.

Liam Reddox: Hello Sir, my name is Liam and I'm calling from the Oilers...

Wanye: Yeah, what is it?

Liam Reddox: We are just calling as a courtesy today to apologize for last night's perfor-

Wanye (cutting of Reddox): Shut it, Carrot Top. Tell your coach he's fired.

The worst part about all of this is that the Oilers tricked us into being positive lately and then served us an all-you-can-eat shit-sandwich buffet. They (hopefully) aren’t going to lose every game down the stretch by these margins but it has re-exposed the glaring fact that when a good team decides to turn it up on these Oilers -- and they are anything less than 100 per cent prepared for battle -- they have a very real chance of getting destroyed.

No. We can’t be negative. We must remain positive. For the children. Let’s see what was good about last night. What were we loving?

*takes a handful of Prozac and waits for them to kick in*

Things we love about a 10-2 loss

  • We were loving Dustin Penner last night -- easily the best Oiler. He could easily have had four goals. We also love that had he scored those four goals it wouldn't have even moved the Oilers within striking distance on the scoreboard.
  • We love sitting down with our 37 beers to witness a friggin' timeout 1:11 into the first period.
  • We love hearing Great Big Sea's "Ordinary Day" played so many times after Sabres goals that we had half a mind to canoe to Winnipeg and hang ourself, as the song suggests.
  • We love going with our buddy to his second game of the season. The first game we went to 42 days ago? Yeah -- that game. Our buddy has seen two games in RX1 this year and the Oil have been outscored 19-4. Think he's going to be running out to buy Oilers pyjamas any time soon?
  • We love sitting next to a pair of Sabres fans and listening to them cheer less and less with every passing goal. Even Sabres fans were feeling bad for us last night. We love the compassion.

And finally

And finally we love that this game didn’t happen after February 1. Had it happened then we have a sneaking suspicion there would be a bunch of people rubbing salt in our collective Oiler-shaped wounds right now. But fortunately the Oilers snuck this absolute GONG SHOW of a game before the gates to Fort OilersNation were thrown open and the citizens went out to battle. We can all suffer in peace today talking amongst ourselves.

You: “Wanye what are you talking about?” Us: This.” (turn up your speakers it’s way cooler)

Four days till we get to tell them all where to go and how to get there. Sweet.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 BUCK75
January 28 2009, 10:39AM
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WTF? FLAMESNATION?!?!?!

Abomination...please expand beyond the fancy clip.

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#2 BUCK75
January 28 2009, 10:41AM
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Do you run that domain? Is it a place to trashtalk flames? Be little smack talk when they are in first place & we are SO consistant...

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#3 Travis Dakin
January 28 2009, 10:44AM
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Oh no.... I love what happens when we start chirping other teams and their fans on this site. (see pensblog)

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#4 Milli
January 28 2009, 10:58AM
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HAHAHA, THIS COULD BE UGLY!!!!!

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#5 we suck
January 28 2009, 11:10AM
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Welcome to last year Flamersnation...what took so long?

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#6 BUCK75
January 28 2009, 11:16AM
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They have the same fist logo too? Please tell me Hudson's isn't opening up a bar on the 'Red Mile' too...

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#7 The Towel Boy
January 28 2009, 11:17AM
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Sooo that's what this banner ad we've been seeing for weeks is all about.

What's the skibby? Is it a place to go a discuss how shitanusly™ bad the Flames are? Is it a place to secretly cheer for Iginla and wish he was an Oiler? Will there be fart jokes there?

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#8 Travis Dakin
January 28 2009, 11:19AM
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BUCK75 wrote:

They have the same fist logo too?

Suddenly I don't like the idea that my nation t-shirt can easily be mistaken for flames apparel now. Not cool.

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#9 Dennis Castro
January 28 2009, 11:29AM
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So what....It still doesn't hide the fact that Calgary Sucks!!!!!

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#10 tricksnard
January 28 2009, 11:31AM
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@ BUCK75: Registrars are different, so hopefully there's no connection aside from the rumbles we'll have 6 times a year.

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#11 Fleury fan
January 28 2009, 11:49AM
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Hi there

If there is a flamesnation coming I would be very excited. As a Flames fan who lives in northern alberta I have been jealous of this website since it started and all you Oilers fans getting to have it. I wish there was something like this for Calgary fans and our better team !! LOL

I have my fingers crossed!

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#12 POKIE Reddik
January 28 2009, 11:49AM
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I wonder if Lindy Ruff was smickering at how he was able to adapt offence, which we all witnessed 2 seconds with the puck on your stick in the offenceive zone, and MacT doesn't. or how SAD the Oilers regime is, or how desperate this team is to have MacT have success, trying to steal other peoples game breakers? After a season like this one, how mant UFA's would want to come to Edm. How many really want to play a ayatem where ther isn't a system. How many times has MacT's team came out and set the pace? how many nights have the Oiler fans left after winning a game and feel they can come back and witness another great game? Now the big question. Does Hemsky want to be here? Will he request a trade? will he resign when his contract is up? Watch him Oiler fans he is here for a short time not a long time. He is like Bowmester just biding his time here till his contract is up, once he's gone, thats all folks, we will not have any form of a marquee player here as long as other player see how this organization is run, Just ask Smyth. he loves the Oilers but not the managenment, sure he'll golf with them, but won't play for them. Vinny did have breakfast one day in August with Lowe and MacT, after talking to MacT he decided thereis no way in hell I will play for this guy. There is just no system. Even Fred Flintstone called out MacT before he was stepped on by little Pee Wee Herman, and he bailed early being tired of defending MacT. when will Alley Katz realize it's time to restructure?

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#13 Greg MC
January 28 2009, 11:53AM
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Cal + Gary = sheep + rubber boots + assless chaps

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#14 Oilman
January 28 2009, 12:14PM
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Wayne, I think I speak for all of us when I say "Tell you're buddy to stay the f__k home next game" Thanks.

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#15 OvenChicken8
January 28 2009, 12:17PM
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You forgot one more thing about things we love about a 10-2 loss.

The fact that you hear from old friends and family that haven't spoken to you in 42 days. Calling to ask about your favorite hockey team and how they are playing.

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#16 Charlie
January 28 2009, 12:17PM
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Really? You're advertising for a Calgary Flames site on the walls of the Nation? And the same fist logo? Really?

REALLY??!!

Boys.... come on....

....Really???!

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#17 wtf?
January 28 2009, 12:19PM
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Oh god, Flames Nation? Really??? Sheesh what's next, Canucks Nation? Let's all hold hands and sing a love song while we are at it.

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#18 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 12:31PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

What’s the skibby?

Gentlemen gentlemen. Let's all take a deep breath here and hear your ol' pal Wanye out. When we started this site on a dare we wanted to be able to scream and yell about the Oilers to our hearts content, read some funny articles and get secret insider stuff from real journalists.

It has worked out better than we could have dreamed and the discussion on here is miles beyond most everywhere else that we have ever seen.

But one thing is missing

While we sit around here talking merrily away - where the hell are fans of other teams? When the Oilers beat a team – say the Flames – I want to go somewhere and explain to Flames fans in gory detail how bad they suck. I want to break it down frame by frame. I want Willis to explain to their stats guru how their PK % divided by gravity and multiplied by the seats in the saddledome clearly shows that Jarome Iginla is on a downward spiral in his career.

Really what I want to do is be able to rain holy thunder upon the fans of the other 29 inferior hockey squadrons. Where can I go today to yell at the damn Sabres fans the day after that abomination?

Nowhere. That’s where.

FlamesNation is it's own site with it's own writers that are ready to go. Nothing will change on here and really I can't say that I will go there all that often for most of the season.

But as my boy tricksnard put it so well "hopefully there’s no connection aside from the rumbles we’ll have 6 times a year." That is exactly the point. Feb 21 there will be one HELL of a JL meeting if all goes right.

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#19 RBK
January 28 2009, 12:35PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

That is a friggin cool dude. I always have to email my loser friends in calgary to yell at them. Yelling at thousands of Flames fans and knowing they have to read it would be .... well *starts crying*

Your swear filters better be ready to go!! LOL

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#20 Travis Dakin
January 28 2009, 12:40PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Sure it's all good if our team doesn't suck. But uh... they kinda do.

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#21 BUCK75
January 28 2009, 12:43PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Good - I thought you were going to chage your handle to Yanni McDonald...

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#22 Fiveandagame
January 28 2009, 12:46PM
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I feel bad for the flames nation.....Why? They have to talk about the flames...

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#23 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 12:55PM
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BUCK75 wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: Good - I thought you were going to chage your handle to Yanni McDonald…

Oh man that's rich. I wish there was a Yanni Macdonald. Believe me there is no way that I could bring myself to say positive things about the Calgary Flames. But building something where we can chew out Flames Fans sounds like fun to me.

One thing that blew my mind when I started looking at blogs of other teams to try and find writers is how few bloggers there are compared to here in the Oilogosphere. We take it for granted that there are dozens of blogs all pumping out content. Calgary has like 5 or 6 blogs tops and half of them aren't even regularly updated. Maybe if there is a site like this one it will encourage others to come out of the wood work and start blogging.

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#24 David S
January 28 2009, 12:55PM
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This should be interesting.

There's a guy going by the name of fever4flames who's been banned from most of the oilogosphere. I bet he's honing his grade school grammar and getting his mom to pick him up some more protein in preparation for a comeback right about now.

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#25 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 12:56PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: Sure it’s all good if our team doesn’t suck. But uh… they kinda do.

I know. It's a risky business if the number one fans in the league are backed up by the number 30 team on some nights. I suspect I will take a million burns from Flames Fans. But I say bring the Thunder.

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#26 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 12:58PM
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David S wrote:

This should be interesting. There’s a guy going by the name of fever4flames who’s been banned from most of the oilogosphere. I bet he’s honing his grade school grammar and getting his mom to pick him up some more protein in preparation for a comeback right about now.

That's the thing. We clearly have way looser comment controls than most of the other sites and I always want people to be able to say what they want. But as we open it up we need to have some rules of engagement or all the comments will become unintelligible gibberish. Protecting that will be job #1.

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#27 r59
January 28 2009, 01:06PM
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I think its a cool idea. Who cares if you can't be as crazy with the commentary as long as it doesn't get as bad as the journal, tsn, sportsnet and the team sites it will still be a big step forward. The idea of encouraging the rivalry is quite an interesting idea.

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#28 UrbanLegend7
January 28 2009, 01:16PM
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I have to admire Wayne for having the nuts to reveal flamesnation to the oilersnation after a 10-2 loss. that's bravery!

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#29 Travis Dakin
January 28 2009, 01:18PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Well, not to sound like a bag licker or anything but I have to say, you guys really started something special here. What with the interacting with the people close to the team (Brownlee and Greggor) and gettting some great insider info and I've learned a whole new way of looking at the game from Willis. I really think this brings a whole new level of fan involvement. I find it thoroughly enjoyable to talk about this team all the time with people all over Oil country. I feel like I am in a room with a bunch of buddies watching the games together and after, we can get to talk about it and learn great new things. I actually think it would be great for fans of every team to be able to experience things like we do. It's very progressive.

HAHA Just try not to sell out too hard as the traffic and sponsors start flowing even harder (which they will)

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#30 socaldave
January 28 2009, 01:28PM
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Godwin's Law, here we come! Those silly flamer fans...

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#31 jdrevenge
January 28 2009, 01:44PM
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I wonder what Charlie Simmer has to say bout this.... lolololol.

Just shot this over to Dana in Cowtown, Wayne, i think i heard him cry with joy all the way in the good ol MTL. Somewhere to post about their singular Cup Win, and all 2 Flames in the hall. whoop!

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#32 The Towel Boy
January 28 2009, 01:50PM
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So, I guess they'll be having regular "Masters of Evil" meetings on game nights too?

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#33 FlamersNation Spy
January 28 2009, 01:57PM
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... yes, and out conversations will be way gooder than yours.. 'cuz we are way, way smarter

Muahaahaaaaaaaa ...

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#34 Ender the Dragon
January 28 2009, 01:59PM
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As a side note, I notice that the scoreboard on the Nation hasn't been updated yet. If that's on purpose, thank you. I can wait 'til Saturday if you can.

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#35 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 02:16PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote:

As a side note, I notice that the scoreboard on the Nation hasn’t been updated yet. If that’s on purpose, thank you. I can wait ’til Saturday if you can.

The boys emailed me and said "we can't bring ourselves to put up the 10-2 score. Maybe if we don't put it up it won't be real." I told them I was in no hurry to see that score up either.

@ The Towel Boy: hahaha wouldn't that be a great name. I don't know how it is going to go over down in cowtown but we are going to give it the old college try. I'm sure some things will work here and won't in CGY and vice versa. Or it could fail completely. You never know if you don't try.

@ Travis Dakin:

haha bag licker. KIDDING.

Our intention isn't to make this into some big bohemeth company where "Brenda" in "accounting" gets to make all the decisions. We don't really know what we are doing to be honest. But I love the Nation. Seriously I always really wanted a site like this and I kept waiting for someone else to make it. Message boards and sites like Oilfans.com are super sweet but I wanted to have as you said it - more interaction with other fans and with media and bloggers. I didn't know anything about anything internet related and only started writing because no one else would do it at the start. Now I loves it *kisses imaginary internet*

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#36 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 02:17PM
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jdrevenge wrote:

I wonder what Charlie Simmer has to say bout this…. lolololol. Just shot this over to Dana in Cowtown, Wayne, i think i heard him cry with joy all the way in the good ol MTL. Somewhere to post about their singular Cup Win, and all 2 Flames in the hall. whoop!

And remind all your Flames Fans buddies that FlamesNation was started by Edmontonians. hahahah

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#37 Wanye's friend
January 28 2009, 02:20PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

HAHA Just try not to sell out too hard as the traffic and sponsors start flowing even harder (which they will)

I asked "Wanye" if he would sell out down the road too. He told me he would endorse any and all products and services offered to him. He seemed genuinely pleased that there would be an opportunity to whore out the nations all over the place. hahaha what a tool.

I love the nation. I can't believe his idea actually worked. He used to always talk about the idea of it with all of us and then one day it was up. I honestly thought it would fail but I am glad I am wrong. sorry wanye haha :)

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#38 The Towel Boy
January 28 2009, 02:22PM
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...since we're talking about how awesome our site is...what are the chances our webmasters could put a Oilersnation "favicon" up on the web server? That way when I make my little bookmark tab a snazzy Oilersnation logo shows up...instead of a boring(insert your prefered internet browser)icon.

Dana? You listening? :)

Just a thought.

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#39 Dana @ AgileStyle
January 28 2009, 02:35PM
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I don't do any of the graphics--I've passed along your suggestion, though.

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#40 The Towel Boy
January 28 2009, 02:41PM
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@ Dana @ AgileStyle:

Cool. Thanks!

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#41 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 02:43PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

…since we’re talking about how awesome our site is…what are the chances our webmasters could put a Oilersnation “favicon” up on the web server? That way when I make my little bookmark tab a snazzy Oilersnation logo shows up…instead of a boring(insert your prefered internet browser)icon. Dana? You listening? Just a thought.

I have never even heard of such a thing! What's next? A talking umbrella?

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#42 Monday Guy
January 28 2009, 02:48PM
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@ The Towel Boy:

Who would have seen that coming... if it indeed had come

:s

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#43 The Towel Boy
January 28 2009, 02:55PM
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I just hope the umbrellas don't become self aware. Cuz we're in trouble then.

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#44 RBK
January 28 2009, 03:00PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

I just hope the umbrellas don’t become self aware. Cuz we’re in trouble then.

We are no longer in control. The umbrellas run the matrix.

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#45 Wanye Gretz
January 28 2009, 03:03PM
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@ BUCK75:

When did you get that give a F o meter on your site? Can you adjust the settings???

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#46 Chris
January 28 2009, 03:21PM
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Calgary fans don't deserve a site like this. Anything that brings joy to the red people is wrong.

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#47 DCoWorld
January 28 2009, 03:26PM
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Chris wrote:

Calgary fans don’t deserve a site like this. Anything that brings joy to the red people is wrong.

But what if it allows us to go to war with the red people. I am all for it. I live in Northern Ontario and I hate the Flames and haven't seen a live Flames fan in years so I can't tell them off.

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#48 BUCK75
January 28 2009, 03:38PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

LOL - the GAFM is alway low...I will email to you. Can't adjust.

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#49 Smokin' Ray
January 28 2009, 03:42PM
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Wanye, you sly guy you. I want in. The possibilities are endless...

In my best oriental voice, "Oh you so smart"

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#50 jdrevenge
January 28 2009, 03:53PM
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for the record dana just hacked my name and put that note in there about the flames site started by oilers fans.... sorry wayne. security was breached.

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