Target Practice

Wanye
January 29 2009 10:37AM

With three games in thirteen days the Oilers are seeing about as much action as Bea Arthur at a Golden Girls DVD release party. Fortunately for the Oilers, their 10-2 shitanus™ hockey festival against the Sabres occurred during the middle of this dry spell and they can now schedule unlimited private team meetings without “an actual game” to get in the way.

With nothing on the horizon until a game against Minnesota on Friday, the citizens of the Nation are left with little else to do but what we do best:

Engage in rampant, unsubstantiated speculation on subjects we have only a fraction of the information required to make qualified opinions. Hasn’t stopped us before; why should it now? And what do we personally want to talk about?

Captain Ethan Moreau

[caption id="attachment_6353" align="aligncenter" width="344" caption="Fig 1: Ethan Moreau as indicated by the blue arrow."]Fig 1: Ethan Moreau as indicated by the blue arrow.[/caption]

There has been some commentary flying around on here about comments Moreau made to CTV regarding team preparedness, ice-hockey tactics and the like. We looked for about 11 seconds to find a copy of the clip but couldn’t find it and gave up. Instead we started listening to this sweet jam:

Yeah America. We can do magic. That’s some good old-timey jammery. What year is this song from? 1927? Brownlee? You remember the band America, we bet. Are they pre-1900? “You’re the one who can put out the fiiiiiire.” Of course. It makes perfect sense.

Anyway back to Moreau

We personally like Moreau a lot due to his ability to clap in time whilst embarrassing Principe in a PPV post-game interview as well as his leadership and on ice skillery. Plus, by our count he is on pace for 18-14-32 points this season. That ain’t not all bad for a guy that haters call out on a weekly basis as being a bum. 'Tis no bum this Moreau and a quote that we were able to find on Canoe.ca should speak to that:

"If you can imagine how a fan feels or a coach or management feels, it's always worse for the player," said captain Ethan Moreau, after a nearly two-hour skate. "We're out there responsible for the loss. As bad as people feel, as frustrated as people are, you can't match the way we feel. It's our livelihood, it's what we live with every day. A lot of our mood is determined by how we play on the ice and when you lose like that, it's tough. It's not fun walking around the city, trust me."

Now firstly that is exactly the kind of manning up we loves to see from the man wearing the “C.” Secondly, we kind of feel for Moreau here. Imagine going to Macs to get yourself two Orange Gatorade G2s and some Doritos and the lady in front of you turns around and a wave of recognition sweeps across her aging face. Half the time you will get a very positive reaction. “Oh pardon me, sir,” she may breathlessly squeal in your face as she makes a beeline for the door, loins completely aflame.

Or it could go the other way and Shopper Sharon merely gathers her carton of Players Light King Size and walks directly into you on the way out the door. That’s some harsh shit -- particularly when you are doing something as innocent as going to get yourself some G2 Dorito goodness. We always kind of think that it’s not necessarily the attention that grinds on Oilers living their lives in Edmonton but rather the wild swings in emotion. Half the time your neighbours shovel your snow for free, the other half of the year they allow the dog to do his nastiness on your front porch.

Note this chart that maps the emotional state of Oilers fans. It’s all over the map, Nation. The dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles... Don’t get us wrong, when the Oil put on an absolute five-alarm gong show like they did against the Sabres they deserve to have looks of death from even the smallest toddlers old enough to wear a “Oilers Draft pick 2025” T-shirt. But it must be a supreme pain in the ass for a true Champion like Moreau to look around the room and see punk-ass kids that only care about the name on the back of the jersey and couldn’t give two squirts about the logo on the front.

In our exulted opinion as a direct descendant of the 15th Archduke of Austria-Hungary, we think that we need to keep in mind who we should be roasting on a daily basis. When the hard-working grinders were shown the door for various reasons (Smith, Smyth, Reasoner, Stoll and Greene) it was with great fanfare in most cases. Many good, hard-working citizens of the Nation laughed aloud when they read the good news that so-and-so had been traded and had visions of the brighter tomorrow that is around the corner dancing in their heads.

And in some cases the moves have been for the better. Visnovsky certainly brings the talent and his A-game on most nights. He and Souray are scoring at an eye popping pace and are fast becoming cornerstones of the team. But the penalty killing blows severely and no one had the presence of mind to go out and absolutely end the life of a Sabre at the end of the worst home-ice loss in franchise history.

So as we continue on in this wasteland of No Oilers Games coming off a 10-2 loss, let’s have some perspective on who we should riddle with Nation bullets and should live to see another day. Dennis Grebeshkov for example? One of the worst goats ever to wear an Oilers jersey. What was his plus minus against Buffalo? Yeah exactly.

You baaaaaaaastard, Grebs.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 OvenChicken8
January 29 2009, 10:42AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Denis "The Goat" Grebeshkov I'm assuming the goat doesn't stand for Greatest Of All Time :p

Avatar
#2 Monday Guy
January 29 2009, 10:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I always love the accuracy of the chart

Wanye obviously has a degree in Chartology

*hangs head in envy

Avatar
#3 turnupthesuck09
January 29 2009, 10:54AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Best article ever. Wiley veteran move Wayne.

Avatar
#4 sitting_at_my_desk
January 29 2009, 11:03AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

dont get it....why is Grebs your goat his play has improven greatly, and he was EVEN the last game...

Avatar
#5 The Pestival
January 29 2009, 11:11AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Grebs being even clearly shows he is not a team player because he wasn't sucking bag like the rest of them.

Avatar
#6 Chaz
January 29 2009, 11:18AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hey Wayne. What did Grebs do to you to make you such a fan? Other than the one to two brain cramps a game which result in a major give-away, I still don't see why you loath him as you do, although I must admit those moments do make me cringe.

He has 22 points, is plus 5, and is a $1.5 M player. Compare that with Staios who has 7 points is minus 5 and makes 2.9 M.

I think it may be time for you and Grebs to kiss and make up, and focus your wrath upon the real under-achievers on this team. (Hint: Their names rhyme with Devin Clowe and Greg McRaddish.)

Avatar
#7 The Pestival
January 29 2009, 11:20AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

As for the CTV clip:

http://edmonton.ctv.ca/servlet/an/local/CTVNews/20090128/edm_oilers2_090128/20090128/?hub=EdmontonHome

Avatar
#8 BUCK75
January 29 2009, 11:35AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

As we are in the Down Swing of the 'Mood of the Nation' I will make everyone's day better by stealing a stat from MJ's site Oilfans. We have 7 wins, 16 losses, 2 OTL since 05/06 season against the Wild.

http://www.oilfans.com/scheduleLog.php?team=Minnesota

I think everyone is overreacting to Moreau's comments about the fans. I dare everyone not to show up on friday...that's what I thought.

Avatar
#9 CurtisS
January 29 2009, 11:40AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Poltuny called up this morning

Avatar
#10 The Leaker
January 29 2009, 11:53AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

something is brewing with Hemsky and the Oilers, he wants out

Avatar
#11 Jack "slacking off at work" Bauer
January 29 2009, 11:58AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

""We sell out every night, so no complaints as long as we continue to do that," he said."

Yikes. Id like to see the whole clip to see what he said in its entirety, but the impression I get is. "We dont need to apologize to the fans who were at the Buffalo game, because we sell out anyways.

Avatar
#12 Cal71
January 29 2009, 11:59AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I don't know how you can call Grebeshkov "one of the worst goats ever to wear an Oilers jersey" when in the past we've had real goats like MA Bergeron or Cory Cross or worse yet SCOTT FERGUSON!! I like Grebeshkov. While he does make a few to many ill-advised passes, he has really improved from the where he was at the beginning of last year. I see a lot of potential with him. Think of what the Oilers defence used to look like during our "not so glory years". He is miles above any of the goats that played than. You tell me who you'd rather have Denis Grebeshkov or Drew Bannister?

Avatar
#13 oilmoose
January 29 2009, 12:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Where does this crap come from?

"I hear there's a big Oil trade in the works for Malkin & Crosbie for Potulny and Shremp"...

Avatar
#14 Colin
January 29 2009, 12:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Grebs is the biggest oiler goat ever?

Aside from the fact he was EVEN in that stinker and his play has greatly improved this season :

does no-one remember '86 ?

Avatar
#15 Ender the Dragon
January 29 2009, 12:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Chaz wrote:

I think it may be time for [Wanye]and Grebs to kiss and make up . . .

Amen. The guy is a long way away from the top of my trade list.

@ oilmoose: Find a sense of humour; it's obviosly tongue-in-cheek.

@ Wanye Gretz: What is with this unhealty obsession of yours with The Golden Girls? You've gotta let them go, man . . . they're gonna die soon (if they haven't already). Better to make the break beforehand, don't you think . . .

Avatar
#16 oilmoose
January 29 2009, 12:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I guess I'm getting gun shy Ender. Ever since the Pronger thing I've been paranoid. I can't even imagine how screwed we'd be if Hemmer DID want to go.

So, he doesn't, right? right? anyone?...

Avatar
#17 shakey
January 29 2009, 12:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I think there is a level of sarcasm that Wanye is trying to use here. I'm not sure of it's inner workings but that's how I take it. As for Hemsky wanting out...he's been here long enough and has gone from a bit player trying to learn MacT's game to finally clicking at the pace we all thought he would and is the undisputed offensive leader of this team. Why after one bad lose would he want out? When he was injured every player and coach interviewed commented on how important getting Hemmer back was. This is his team and I'd like to think that if it came down to Hemmer vs. a coach or another player, management would accommodate #83 first.

Avatar
#18 shakey
January 29 2009, 12:46PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

'one bad loss'

Stupid brain...failed me again.

Avatar
#19 freeze
January 29 2009, 12:47PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

cool, Oil just recalled Potulny.

Avatar
#20 Cam
January 29 2009, 12:50PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Great post Wanye.

I think Ethan Moreau is exactly the kind of man you want wearing the C. And for all those player who say that "the captain is mediocre so the team will be mediocre": did you see who wore the "C" for Buffalo? It was Rivet, and I would take Moreau over Rivet any day of the week.

That 10-2 loss was terrible to watch, but in truth half those goals I lay at the Goalies feet, a couple bonehead plays at the blue line, and three or so that I accept as being indicative of Buffalo's skill.

You trade Miller for Roloson at the 5 second mark of the first and the Oilers may have won that game. Miller was awesome, Roli was... well... not so awesome.

I look forward to angry Roli coming out against the Wild and shutting the door. He is a competitor and I think he has something to prove now that Garon is out the door.

Avatar
#21 Jason Gregor
January 29 2009, 01:01PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Jack "slacking off at work" Bauer wrote:

We sell out every night, so no complaints as long as we continue to do that,” he said.” Yikes. Id like to see the whole clip to see what he said in its entirety, but the impression I get is. “We dont need to apologize to the fans who were at the Buffalo game, because we sell out anyways.

To clariry, this is a case of garbage reporting in my opinion. I was doing an interview with Horcoff, while the Moreau scrum was next to us...he basically said he had no complaints about the fans booing or chanting we want ten, because they show up every game...and have the right to complain... Moreau's scrum lasted about ten minutes, and the only quote the guy uses is that one...I'm sorry, this is a time where I hate being lumped in a group as MEDIA...Just like the Oilers have players that suck more than others, there are media types who suck and are unprofessional.

It looks like I will have Moreau on my show this afternoon to talk about that and some other stuff...

Avatar
#22 Colin
January 29 2009, 01:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Cam wrote:

I look forward to angry Roli coming out against the Wild and shutting the door. He is a competitor and I think he has something to prove now that Garon is out the door.

Really? I'd say he has nothing to prove now, the job is his for the season (barring a trade for a real #1), he can stink it up all season long and MacT will still play him night in and night out.

Avatar
#23 Dennis
January 29 2009, 01:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Two things.

1: Thank you for being a friend?

2: Gregor: there's been lots of garbage reporting out of Edm; most of it is in terms of what's Not reported or what's seemingly taboo to talk about. Lowe's performance as GM, for example.

That being said, as much as I can see with my own two eyes that every line 18 plays on gets consistently outchanced OR that the guy takes dumb penalties, it wasn't fair to frame his latest quote as anything other than the guy saying that as long as fans pay their money or keep coming back, they're entitled to their opinion.

The last time I saw reporting that bad was when an entire city's hockey corps failed to call Kevin Lowe on the fact that he didn't know by Feb of '07 that the cap would be going up come the '08 season.

What?

Avatar
#24 rindog
January 29 2009, 01:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Colin:

You got that right, Colin!!!!

Avatar
#25 TV
January 29 2009, 01:19PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Glad to see you've taken my advice Wanye. Baby steps...

If that is not an Olive branch for #37, then I don't know what 1 is..?

Next time, just try typing Gretzbeshkov even once & you'll see how good it feels afterwards. Baby steps...

x6

Avatar
#26 Daveee
January 29 2009, 01:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye,

I truly believe in your theory on how the Oilers needed a game much sooner then tomorrow. I don't know how many Flames fan co-workers have sent me this clip in an email. I hope Calgary gets blasted at least once this season.

http://www.fan960.com/ondemand/media.jsp?content=20090128_184247_53784

Avatar
#27 The Towel Boy
January 29 2009, 01:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Daveee:

...stupid STUPID song. It doesn't even have correct phrasing. Don't even get me started on the bridge. GAWD!

...ok, I'm grasping. Friggin' halarious.

Avatar
#28 Jason Gregor
January 29 2009, 01:55PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

FYI - The Oil have back called up Potulny

Avatar
#29 Jason Gregor
January 29 2009, 01:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

That was rushed, my apologies for the typo.

Avatar
#30 442Junkie
January 29 2009, 02:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Daveee: I go to Calgary every day and have to listen to the Calgary inferiority complex. It's seriously there. It's much like the way we talked about Dallas from 1998-2005. You know, we would trash talk them, the team and their city, and they'd be all "Edmonton? That's the the team Moog played for once right?"

A tip for dealing with your Flames co workers, remind them that the Oilers have played more Playoff series since the lock out then the Flames have. It quiets them down reasonably well. If that doesn't work then remind them that the Flames have only won 3 series in the last twenty years...

Stupid Flames fans, so proud to be another teams first round bi...

Avatar
#31 442Junkie
January 29 2009, 02:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Um I442Junkie wrote:

Stupid Flames fans, so proud to be another teams first round bi…

Um, I'm not sure if that was a typo or a Freudian slip...

Avatar
#32 Harry Merkin
January 29 2009, 02:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I dont think you make any one player the goat of that game. Now making one coach the goat is whole different story. This team will continue to toil in mediocrity with "Hot Plate" behind the bench. It's time Mr Katz does what we all have been wanting since he took over the team and get some new appliances. There is an old saying i like to live by " its not the arrow its the indian" and clearly Mac T is the indian who doesnt know how to use his arrow's.

Avatar
#33 Jason Gregor
January 29 2009, 03:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Dennis wrote:

That being said, as much as I can see with my own two eyes that every line 18 plays on gets consistently outchanced OR that the guy takes dumb penalties, it wasn’t fair to frame his latest quote as anything other than the guy saying that as long as fans pay their money or keep coming back, they’re entitled to their opinion.

He was asked, "You mad at fans for booing and chanting,"

And that was his response...no complaints because they support every game...I was right there...

This has nothing to do with penalties. How is that even a sane comparison

Avatar
#34 carrie d
January 29 2009, 03:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

it looks like the media is controlled by the oilers, when will the reporters get (edited with love by WG)

Avatar
#35 Wanye Gretz
January 29 2009, 03:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ sitting_at_my_desk: @ Chaz: @ Cal71: @ Colin: @ shakey:

To start the season a bunch of us called a goat and a star for the year. You have to stick by your goat and your star no matter what their performances are during the year. You can't switch stars and you can't switch goats - that's band wagon jumping and that don't fly around here.

Since day one this season Erik Cole remains my star. When everyone was ragging on him I tried to defend him from the raging hordes of people as best I could using a penknife and my wits.

As a man of principle Dennis Grebeshkov remains my goat. Why? Cause he is who I picked at the start of the year? Why? Cause he has numerous boneheaded plays. Is he a good deal? Is he better than I make him out to be? I dunno - he's my goat. Everyone is free to like him and free to hate Cole. But I have my goat, I have my star and I live with my choices every day just like baggedmilk lives with his incurable VD.

One time a few years back I declared Tommy Salo my star - the year his career imploded. Those were tough days...

Anyways. My goat is my goat. BAAAAAAAAA. Who did you pick?

http://www.oilersnation.com/2008/09/wanye-calls-cole/

@ Ender the Dragon:

The golden girls are the bomb. When I am 65 I am going to find myself a dozen Blanche type women and live out my days as a swinging playboy in Palm Springs.

*dreams of a day 40 years from now*

@ TV: I listen to everything that the TV tells me.

@ Harry Merkin Good call Harry. I like your style.

Avatar
#36 The Towel Boy
January 29 2009, 03:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Wanye Gretz:

Ha, I couldn't remember who I picked...thanks for the link...I would have been too lazy to look.

Avatar
#37 Wanye Gretz
January 29 2009, 03:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ everyone in the nation :

And I was actually give Goatie McGrebeshkov a backhanded compliment by asking everyone to recall his +/- against Buffalo. He was even I believe.

BAAAAA

Avatar
#38 Wanye Gretz
January 29 2009, 03:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ The Towel Boy:

Who did you go with? I am also too lazy to look.

Avatar
#39 shakey
January 29 2009, 03:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I was far too shy and scared to comment on here back in September so I didn't pick a goat or a star. I took Cole with my 5th pick in a hockey pool because I wanted him to be a star. If I had to pick I would have picked Mac T as my goat. I've been doing it for a few years and like you said, band wagoning ain't cool man.

The Hot Plate is now and Indian? Can we even say that?

Avatar
#40 Jason Gregor
January 29 2009, 03:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

If you complain about the on-ice I totally agree, but I have a real problem when reporters spin words to make their point...

You can go to my website at 4:00 p.m and you can hear Moreau's response to questions regarding the fans.

Avatar
#41 Jason Gregor
January 29 2009, 03:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

www.justagame.ca in case some of you don't know...It will be up there at 4:00...did the interview at 3:10

Avatar
#42 Wanye Gretz
January 29 2009, 03:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

shakey wrote:

I was far too shy and scared to comment on here back in September so I didn’t pick a goat or a star.I took Cole with my 5th pick in a hockey pool because I wanted him to be a star. If I had to pick I would have picked Mac T as my goat.

Too shy shakey? Nonsense. For all the thousands of readers out there that we can see on the analytics who read and read and never talk - what the heck? Why so shy? Don't be worried about saying the wrong thing - here watch:

My name is Wanye Gretz and I once peed the bed on a ski trip at the age of 7. Family members remind me of this all the time during get togethers.

See? That is the wrong thing to say. Think I care? Not in the least. I know you all have things you are bursting to share with all of us.

Get it out of you.

Of course not literally, particularly if "it" is pee and you are staying in a hotel in Banff.

Avatar
#43 Jack "slacking off at work" Bauer
January 29 2009, 03:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

That song the fan960 did was hilarious.

Avatar
#44 Chaz
January 29 2009, 03:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Gregor, are you posting comments and doing your show at the same time?!? That is Bad-ass! What else do you do while the know-it-all callers talk your ear off, and demand Mac T's head on a platter? The crossword? Sudoku? Various knitting projects?

Do you also have a stand-up desk like Donald Rumsfeld with several phones and two computers? Where do you guys broadcast from, a mountainous bunker in Colorado? I have a whole new respect for your show!

Avatar
#45 Chaz
January 29 2009, 03:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Here's my secret Wayne: For reasons I can't discuss I was once in sole possesion of the Conn Smythe trophy and I spit on Ron Hextall's name plate. I am so ashamed, oops I mean proud.

Avatar
#46 The Towel Boy
January 29 2009, 04:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Chaz:

Buddy of Cam Ward?

@ Wanye Gretz:

I picked Horc as my hero, and Moreau as my zero. I believe I said Moreau wouldn't make it outta training camp w/o a broken bone.

Avatar
#47 Wanye Gretz
January 29 2009, 04:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Chaz wrote:

Here’s my secret Wayne: For reasons I can’t discuss I was once in sole possesion of the Conn Smythe trophy and I spit on Ron Hextall’s name plate. I am so ashamed, oops I mean proud.

*comes to a dead stop, stares at screen in awe*

Avatar
#48 APE
January 29 2009, 04:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz wrote:

My name is Wanye Gretz and I once peed the bed on a ski trip at the age of 7. Family members remind me of this all the time during get togethers

I peed the bed on my 18th birthday..what a night.

Avatar
#49 APE
January 29 2009, 04:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I feel shame. I go to box. I sit for 2 minutes. Then I free.

Avatar
#50 Wanye Gretz
January 29 2009, 04:12PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Towel Boy wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: I picked Horc as my hero, and Moreau as my zero. I believe I said Moreau wouldn’t make it outta training camp w/o a broken bone.

Oh towel boy .... no.

(in sad voice)

Who saw this coming?

Comments are closed for this article.