Top drawer analysis

Wanye
October 30 2009 12:14PM

Now anyone who has the great fortune to call us a “friend” “associate” or “former pagent contestant” knows that we take our Oilers hockey pretty seriously. And anyone else who knows us knows that Thursday’s are poker nights. When the two collide – as they often tend to do – it gets real.

Watching games with your buddies is an entirely different experience than attending a game or watching it in a bar. Every play is dissected to the nth degree. Players pasts are often brought into it, statistics are bandied about incorrectly and as the night progresses the booze often takes over. Wild swings of emotion have been known to occur watching the game as a crew. The guy who was standing with his eyes screwed shut, cursing Ales Hemsky aloud can be seen moments later jumping into the arms of his nearest buddy when Hemsky scores. People who confidently pick O’Sullivan as their star grin smugly when he pots the winner in the shootout.

We know a great many folks that insist on watching the game solo, completely free of distractions. We know other folks who only like to watch games live – claiming the television doesn’t do it justice. We have some buddies who refuse to attend poker games when the Oilers game is on because it focuses too much on the game and not enough on the 2% chance you are going to actually river that straight. Not us. We like to experience the Oilers games in a great many scenarios and sitting directly in front of our buddies garage TV, crushing everything we can get our hands around and playing our aggressive brand of Wanye Poker ™is one of our favorite things to do.

Predictions and straight flushes

Our boy Lee – who once famously predicted Fernando Pisani would have a “big playoffs” in 2006, predicted the Oilers would win before the game began and later smashed your boy Wanye with a straight flush to our flush as the Oilers were up 4-1. No lie - we almost threw the TV through the wall. But fortunately we were able to buy back in, grab another beer and get back to the game. A straight flush? Who does that? Lee does that – that’s who the dirty son of a gun.

And what a game wasn’t it? Really Oilers? Is this how we want to play in front of a sold out RX1? Don’t you know that some of us are busy absolutely crushing the life out of a flat of Bud Light and don’t care for the roller coaster of emotion it produced?

Quick question for the folks who were in attendance at RX1 last night. How do you boo the Oilers going into overtime? How does that work exactly you treacherous sons of bitches? You boo when the game is over (if at all) not the critical point in the evening where the team needs support.

The following is the list of points we were going to make – but we will just give them out in a rapid fire format rather than flush them out into actual paragraphs. Last nights game summary would go something like:

  • 4-0 lead surprising
  • Come back a near Titancian collapse
  • Win good
  • O’Sullivan’s shoot out goal = sick
  • Everyone in Edmonton = sick

Further top drawer analysis

If we didn’t feel like we were run over by a Bud Light and 14 cent cigar truck this morning we might go do some research to back up our next statement. But we do, so we won’t, but here it is: there seems to be a boat load of big leads surrendered this year doesn’t there? Haven’t the Flames gassed a massive lead to the Hawks? Didn’t someone else do it too?

Totally.

We didn't give the Oil a chance in hell last night, straight up we will admit it. A win is a win and there is nothing but positivity coming off this. Oh and before we forget: 4 Points? Really Penner? Good Gods. Is this for real?

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Gregors dirty 'stash
October 30 2009, 12:23PM
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Good post Wayne.

Have you heard if Staios or Souray for that matter are any closer at all, or worse?

And his Pisani ready to roll yet?

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#2 Petr's Jofa
October 30 2009, 12:29PM
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@Gregors dirty 'stash

When you wriet "Didn’t someone else do it too?", could you refering to Columbus choking on their leave vs the Oil?

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#3 Alex Eirca Brook-Getz
October 30 2009, 12:30PM
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Duuude, we just totally put you on our "to-do" list

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#4 Petr's Jofa
October 30 2009, 12:31PM
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There is so much wrong with my reply, that I am leaving work and going to take this head cold home to infect my family.

Shouldn't have been directed at @#85 "FLAMESSUCK" Jersey guy in sec 206 and should have read:

When you write "Didn’t someone else do it too?", could you refering to Columbus choking on their lead vs the Oil?

I suck.

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#5 pmg2
October 30 2009, 12:31PM
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The Oil will lose on Sat vs Boston. Why ? Because when can you actually remember when they won a regular season game there ? In the 80's ? I can't. They 'find' reasons to lose there. As for Long Island,....hard to say. It's not a slam-dunk as many may think.

This team has a looong way to go, despite what their record was 10 days ago. Isn't that what Pat Quinn was saying, ...even when they were winning ? All the poor habits !??

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#6 BUCK75
October 30 2009, 12:36PM
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I too had a rolloercoaster ride from the game last night. Not sure if it was the game or the sugar rush from the 200 halloween chocolate bars I ate.

Imagine if Dustin Penner keeps putting up the mad numbers & gets placed in a sentence discussing The Olympic team....as Ronaldo, Jeanshorts & the menacer were discussing on twitter last night.

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#7 jeanshorts
October 30 2009, 12:45PM
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I've said it before and I'll say it again; has anyone seen my pants?

Did anyone else dial 9-1 and then have their finger waiting to type in the last 1 during the third period last night? I was being preemptive because either I was going to light my entire apartment building on fire or my heart was going to explode.

Most terrifying win of the season so far.

And uhh, something about Horcoff making too much money, blah blah blah, should send him to Siberia, blah blah blah, I hate myself so I'm going to spend every waking moment complaining about Shawn Horcoff.

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#8 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 30 2009, 01:13PM
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Do I e-mail bingofuel for suggestions for the site?

I'd like a home-page indicator (above the W-L-OTL counter) that displays Sheldon Souray's status. "Any word on Souray?" has become the new "First".

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#9 I'm a Scientist!
October 30 2009, 01:16PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Do I e-mail bingofuel for suggestions for the site?

I'd like a home-page indicator (above the W-L-OTL counter) that displays Sheldon Souray's status. "Any word on Souray?" has become the new "First".

That is a pretty new development though. "Horcoff sucks" used to be the new "first"... The "First" is changing faster than a chameleon at a rave.

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#10 Dyckster
October 30 2009, 01:17PM
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For those of you who were at the game, you gotta admit, from an entertainment perspective, it was totally worth the price of admission. The only thing missing was a May - Stortini tilt.

I even had a person of the hot female variety sitting directly behind me. Mind you she arrived at the beginning of the second completely gassed out of her mind. She must have been playing poker with Wanye during the 1st period. I heard her exclaim near the end of the game (and she was talking to anyone who would listen), "Can any of you see the puck anymore? Cuz I can't." Good stuff.

The hockey fan in me loved the game, the Oiler fan, not so much.

And the guys responsible for replacing the panes of plexi glass, holy sh*t, did they earn their pay! I expecially felt bad for the dude in OT who ran the entire 200 feet of ice with the 20' step ladder only to find out he wasn't needed when he arrived.

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#11 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 30 2009, 01:23PM
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Maybe they could do like an Abe Vigoda-esque real-time status indicator:

Sheldon Souray is: SLEEPING

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#12 Ender
October 30 2009, 01:31PM
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@I'm a Scientist!

"faster than a chameleon at a rave"

I love that. I don't know where or how, but I am totally going to find a way to use that in a sentence tonight.

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#13 I'm a Scientist!
October 30 2009, 01:39PM
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@Ender

Please do! You don't even need to quote me, but i do expect the normal royalty payment -- one stick of double bubble and a picture of Lindsay Lohan.

*goes back to work on figuring out the glitch in the SuperComputer that made him predict a 4-0 loss to Detroit yesterday*

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#14 The Towel Boy
October 30 2009, 01:43PM
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I read through these comments just now and I think it's fairly clear I don't know what the hell is going on.

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#15 I'm a Scientist!
October 30 2009, 01:45PM
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*didn't realize the Minister was in the room - fixes his hair, adjust his jacket and bows ever so slightly in the direction of The Minister*

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#16 Andrew W
October 30 2009, 01:48PM
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From Eric Duhatschek's article "Head Starts and head shots" in today's Globe:

"The Edmonton Oilers' Andrew Cogliano may be having a hard time finding the back of the net of late (only two goals in his first 13 games), but he hasn't lost his sense of humour. For the Oilers' annual Hallowe'en party, Cogliano came dressed as Dany Heatley in an old Ottawa Senators' sweater."

First of all, that's funny as hell.

Secondly, how in god's name didn't ON have coverage of the Oilers' Halloween party? Did Nilsson come dressed as Ingrid Berman, by chance?

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#17 Smytty777
October 30 2009, 01:54PM
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@Andrew W

Coverage of the Halloween party is on the Oilers site. Nilsson was a pirate, more hilariously Penner dressed as Santa Claus with a name bar on his back "No Trade Claus".

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#18 GSC
October 30 2009, 01:58PM
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Watched the game last night with one of my buddies, a diehard Wings fan (I live down here in Michigan, Sparty country to be exact).

When the Oil went up 5-1, and he started to get (justifiably) pissed, I kept telling him that it wasn't anywhere near over...knowing the Oil and my other sports teams like I do, I've grown to get a bit of a sense when things are about to shift either for or against them. I especially noted it after the Chorney fluke bounce goal, Detroit was going to get right back into the game.

He figured out that I wasn't just blowing smoke and trying to make him feel better when Eaves (and the Strudwick-Peckham pairing) made it 5-5. Best part was once the game went to OT, we stopped and realized just how many beers we'd thrown down: 8 each. The brew went down so smooth and fast given the nervous nature of last night's game that we didn't realize how much of the Creature we'd thrown back...not that it stopped us from continuing.

Fittingly, well after the toll of midnight had officially signaled my birthday, the Oil pulled it out and gave me a nice bday gift: a shootout win and bragging rights in Wings county for the time being. Best part of the evening was after the game, when Wanye was at the "???" Status, we went the Trailer Park Boys route and ate chicken fingers.

Good F***in' Times.

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#19 Jason Gregor
October 30 2009, 02:04PM
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Gregors dirty 'stash wrote:

Good post Wayne.

Have you heard if Staios or Souray for that matter are any closer at all, or worse?

And his Pisani ready to roll yet?

I spoke at length with Staios last night. He is going on the trip, but won't play. He just wants to skate and see if he keeps progressing. He felt awful for 10 days, and now he has felt okay for three straight. He was cautiously optimistic. But next Thursday will be the EARLIEST he can return, but more likely later.

Souray isn't skating, and still doesn't feel that great. Too tough to predict how long, but expect at least another two, if not three, weeks.

Pisani is ready to go.

He could play tomorrow, but the Oilers will have to make some financial adjustments to get him on the roster.

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#20 Gregors dirty 'stash
October 30 2009, 02:07PM
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@Jason Gregor

Thanks Gregor!

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#21 jeanshorts
October 30 2009, 02:08PM
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@Andrew W

Cogliano and Penner went as a quasi-couples costume. Penner had on a Santa suit with the words "No Trade" on the back.

No Trade Clause? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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#22 Senator Theo
October 30 2009, 02:39PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

I've said it before and I'll say it again; has anyone seen my pants?

Did anyone else dial 9-1 and then have their finger waiting to type in the last 1 during the third period last night? I was being preemptive because either I was going to light my entire apartment building on fire or my heart was going to explode.

Most terrifying win of the season so far.

And uhh, something about Horcoff making too much money, blah blah blah, should send him to Siberia, blah blah blah, I hate myself so I'm going to spend every waking moment complaining about Shawn Horcoff.

The mosy terrifying win of the year?

I'm going to figure out a way to go dressed as this win to a halloween party.

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#23 Senator Theo
October 30 2009, 02:42PM
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GSC wrote:

Watched the game last night with one of my buddies, a diehard Wings fan (I live down here in Michigan, Sparty country to be exact).

When the Oil went up 5-1, and he started to get (justifiably) pissed, I kept telling him that it wasn't anywhere near over...knowing the Oil and my other sports teams like I do, I've grown to get a bit of a sense when things are about to shift either for or against them. I especially noted it after the Chorney fluke bounce goal, Detroit was going to get right back into the game.

He figured out that I wasn't just blowing smoke and trying to make him feel better when Eaves (and the Strudwick-Peckham pairing) made it 5-5. Best part was once the game went to OT, we stopped and realized just how many beers we'd thrown down: 8 each. The brew went down so smooth and fast given the nervous nature of last night's game that we didn't realize how much of the Creature we'd thrown back...not that it stopped us from continuing.

Fittingly, well after the toll of midnight had officially signaled my birthday, the Oil pulled it out and gave me a nice bday gift: a shootout win and bragging rights in Wings county for the time being. Best part of the evening was after the game, when Wanye was at the "???" Status, we went the Trailer Park Boys route and ate chicken fingers.

Good F***in' Times.

How many canadian beers (CAB) does 8 michigan beers (USB) convert to? I lost my conversion chart in Vegas.

Happy Birthday.

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#24 Hemmertime
October 30 2009, 02:43PM
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@Smytty777

lol I loved the Halloween thing. Cogliano+Penner is the best, but its hard to beat Smid in a pink bunny outfit - Smid is by far the funniest Oiler now that Greene is gone. His dry humor beats Penner's mouth.

Although I would love to have a Photo of Tom Gilberts costume, not for any perverse reasons but it would be a good thing for him to sign at the Oilers autograph session

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#25 jeanshorts
October 30 2009, 02:45PM
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@Senator Theo

Umm, maybe at whatever Halloween party you may or may not be attending, pick up like 8 hot girls and convince them to go home with you. But then like an hour later make sure all 8 of those girls are making out with other dudes. And then as you're about to leave empty handed pick up the ugliest girl there and take her home.

I think that'd be the Halloween party equivalent to last nights win. She may not be pretty, but you didn't go home alone.

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#26 DK0
October 30 2009, 02:47PM
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@jeanshorts

bahahah, bang on

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#27 DK0
October 30 2009, 02:48PM
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@jeanshorts

ohh BTW, Where the crap is the sack beating this week? :)

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#28 DK0
October 30 2009, 02:49PM
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@DK0

aaannnd epic fail again.. im on fire today in the comments... forgot about the Oct 27th one...

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#29 Senator Theo
October 30 2009, 02:50PM
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@jeanshorts

Ha! gold JS.

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#30 jeanshorts
October 30 2009, 02:58PM
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@DK0

It happens. Partially my fault for posting them so sporadically. But I'm trying my best to get them up there every Monday.

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#31 roughneck
October 30 2009, 03:09PM
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that is some top drawer analysis.

well maybe the penner on the olympic team thing is related to the 2:14AM emotion but hey... it is rather dumbfounding (his early success that is)

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#32 David S
October 30 2009, 03:31PM
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I wouldn't be too hard on JS. He's had a couple of defections in the past while. Towel Boy up and decided to become an Oilers Nation celebrity, and baggedmilk is most likely a sex slave in Phi Phi.

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#33 R Kenny
October 30 2009, 03:31PM
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Nilsson was a pirate and nobody made him walk the plank? Shiver me timbers!

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#34 Pajamah
October 30 2009, 03:39PM
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Nillson's costume "lacked motivation".....wrong choice of words there mr.no more roster spot

and Smid as a pink bunny, thats fantastic

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#35 David S
October 30 2009, 03:46PM
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Nilsson went as "the unmotivated pirate". That's just classic stuff.

Shockingly, nobody here is complaining the game tomorrow is at 11:00 IN THE MORNING. You know that's the prime hangover slot, right?

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#36 jeanshorts
October 30 2009, 03:49PM
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David S wrote:

Nilsson went as "the unmotivated pirate". That's just classic stuff.

Shockingly, nobody here is complaining the game tomorrow is at 11:00 IN THE MORNING. You know that's the prime hangover slot, right?

I don't think most people realize it's that early, until tomorrow when they roll out of bed at noon and it's already half way through the second period. What is with the east coast and their love of matinee games?

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#37 Oilchange64
October 30 2009, 03:58PM
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"No Trade Claus" and "Heatley" is pure classic. Penner is winning me over in more ways than one. He's gone from a guy you wanted to throw a beer at to somebody you would like to sit down and have a beer with....wait, I take that back, too many "wheat based beverages" were his problem before....

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#38 Librarian Mike
October 30 2009, 04:27PM
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Did Gilbert dress up in an Oilers jersey with an 'A2' on the chest?

Second Assist-ant Captain (ba dum tish).

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#39 GSC
October 30 2009, 04:33PM
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Senator Theo wrote:

How many canadian beers (CAB) does 8 michigan beers (USB) convert to? I lost my conversion chart in Vegas.

Happy Birthday.

Considering it was Keystone Light, I'd say 8 USB = 6.129 CAB, although the exchange rate fluctuated earlier today.

I need to get back to Windsor and wrangle up a couple 24's of Kokanee and Rickard's Red.

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#40 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 30 2009, 04:36PM
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@GSC

I like Keith's Red more than Rickard's Red, but Rickard's Honey Brown is a thing of beauty. I'm not sure if it's like this everywhere, but you can only get Rickard's Honey Brown in a taster's pack (4 brown, 4 red, 4 white).

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#41 Poo Czar
October 30 2009, 05:03PM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

Did Gilbert dress up in an Oilers jersey with an 'A2' on the chest?

Second Assist-ant Captain (ba dum tish).

Technically, the "A" on the front of the jersey stands for "Alternate"

*sad trombone*

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#42 Crisp Danish
October 30 2009, 05:36PM
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i was at RX1 last night but was too slammed to remember the third period, let alone booing before overtime. you sure that happened? haha Some observations: Kid line got killed...very little offense produced unless of course were talking from a Detroit perspective Top line - Hemmer and Penner carried the play the whole night especially on the power play with the absence of Visnovsky Strudwick - why god why?

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#43 GSC
October 30 2009, 05:47PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

I like Keith's Red more than Rickard's Red, but Rickard's Honey Brown is a thing of beauty. I'm not sure if it's like this everywhere, but you can only get Rickard's Honey Brown in a taster's pack (4 brown, 4 red, 4 white).

1) Beauty username...love me some Hip

2) Ya I think I'll go with the taster's pack next time I stop at The Beer Store. Pricey, but it's a good 2-hour trip for me to the border so I might as well make it worth my while, eh?

Alex Keith's IPA is one of my favourite brews...might grab some of that too

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#44 JackBauer
October 30 2009, 06:43PM
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Did anybody here listen to Hockey Night in Canada Radio and hear "The Warrior" call in? It was funny, Marek even made fun of him a bit.

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#45 Eddie Shore
October 30 2009, 09:33PM
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The Warrior is sweet. Highly entertaining.

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#46 SirFozz
October 31 2009, 12:39AM
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@GSC

I like Keiths too. That is also the main reason I'm posting this inane comment hours after not only yours, but the last one on this thread. Haha, good times. Now where was I, oh ya, keiths...g'night.

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#47 Mike L
October 31 2009, 01:51AM
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Eddie Shore wrote:

The Warrior is sweet. Highly entertaining.

That blow hard is annoying as hell. His old lady dumped him and he took his fat sorry ass back to Texas thank goodness.

I love this site, please don't disgrace it by ever mentioning that wannabes name here again.

Thanks and good night.

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#48 Andrew
October 31 2009, 08:18AM
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The Oilers plain and simple moved away from their game plan and showed their youth. Early on they were aggressively forechecking and when they weren't creating offensive zone turnovers by hitting or stick checking the Wings Dmen they were creating neutral zone turnovers by forcing their dmen to make snap decisions. Detroit was not allowed to play their puck possession game early on. Also with the injuries and the cap situation this is a much different Wings club because now they have a lot of youth and not the savvy veteran presence they have had in previous seasons.

Also I heard Chicago might have to move Patrick Sharp to make cap room to sign their big three (Kane, Keith, and Toews) what are the chances the Oilers can obtain him?

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#49 roughneck
October 31 2009, 09:17AM
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@Andrew

There is no chance the oilers obtain him unless they create some cap room themselves, sharp is a great player but historically has been a bit of a bandaid. He has great versatility and clearly has gotten off to a fantastic start to this year, his market value is very high and I would argue, beyond the oilers means as chicago is looking for cash and cap room not salary back. That eliminates the oilers at this time, IMO

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#50 Gerald R. Ford
October 31 2009, 09:50AM
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Poo Czar wrote:

Technically, the "A" on the front of the jersey stands for "Alternate"

*sad trombone*

I wish more people (especially journalists/broadcasters) would learn/remember this. Yes, it's a tiny thing, but there's actually a salient difference in functionality between "alternate" and "assistant". "Alternate" makes sense. If the main guy can't go, you (or the other "A") wear the "C". "Assistant" is meaningless. What, you're gonna go make coffee for Moreau whilst he takes another stupid penalty?

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