A great 24 hours in the Nation

Wanye
October 09 2009 01:11AM

What a wonderful 24 hours this has been as a fan of the Edmonton Oilers. First this picture above being considered a good idea, then a two-goal lead blown, then a last second tie game with the Flames then gassing it in OT. Excellent times what not?

Tragedy One

It's going to be hard to argue with the NHL marketing brass on this one. Do you like the sexy Mens people? Do you feel as though professional sports aren't homoerotic already at the best of times? Would you like to be slightly aroused by your local ice hockey squad? Yeah, apparently this is the major idea behind the picture you see above, in the new ESPN something something.

What is the deal here exactly? Why is this going to make people like hockey more? Like many red blooded mammals on this planet, we harbor some sort of man crush on Sheldon Souray that has us watching the games hoping he will be forced to look for an extended period of time directly into the camera. But even we draw the line at this.

This just makes our eyes bleed and only stokes the fires of the enemies of the OilersNation. Bastards like that TLP down in Calgary who will be eating this up for lunch. We don't need this kind of drama to deal with on the interwebs.

Just a business suggestion

You know your ol' pal Wanye is a Titan of industry. We have probably bought more granola bars in the past 3 months than you have in your whole life. So when we say we know the business of hockey, we know the business of promoting the business of knowing a guy that works in the arena where sometimes people play hockey. But sweet ghost of Kevin Costner, what the hell?

Do better things than this NHL! You owe it to the game! Have Sheldon Souray fight Kimbo Slice or get Sam Gagner cast in a Three Six Mafia video. Anything that actually promotes the Mighty Oil. This is not how you bring the NHL into the major lime light in the US for anything positive.

Now if you will excuse us from dwelling on this tragedy for too long,

Tragedy Two

Oh and if this pictoral Hindenburg wasn't enough for you, the Oilers gassed one with 0.0158 seconds left in the game then lost it in a shoot out to the Flames. Blow a two goal lead? Gas it at the last possible second? FML.

We remember going into this game. A short 24 hours ago, when life was going much more positively. Life was simple then. No weird photo shoot making it weird to cheer for Moreau, no mind snapping loss to the Flames, no snow on the ground this morning.

And now back to having that picture blown up and put on my wall.

Oh the humanity.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 10:33AM
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Sammy D wrote:

So imagine the surprise when you get to work, log in to ON and that picture is displayed for all to see...

Some of us are going to be branded unfairly...

Indeed, you speak the truth. After all, you've got a naked picture of Penner from last season as your avatar (it's a cheap laugh, I know).

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#52 David S
October 09 2009, 10:42AM
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I'm sorry man, but that picture isn't just gay, its super-gay. The composure, where Moreau is looking, Souray's helmet positioning, young Cogs loving gaze.

On the other hand, it does explain why Moreau gets beat so much in fights.

Super. Gay.

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#53 Sammy D
October 09 2009, 10:42AM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

Indeed, you speak the truth. After all, you've got a naked picture of Penner from last season as your avatar (it's a cheap laugh, I know).

I will gladly say that my avatar is Penner from last year if it makes people stop thinking that it is a picture of me

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#54 I'm a Scientist!
October 09 2009, 10:44AM
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*thinking out loud*

I wonder when the royalty cheque is going to arrive for letting them photoshop Cogliano's head on my body...

*eats a donut*

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#55 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 10:52AM
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David S wrote:

I'm sorry man, but that picture isn't just gay, its super-gay. The composure, where Moreau is looking, Souray's helmet positioning, young Cogs loving gaze.

On the other hand, it does explain why Moreau gets beat so much in fights.

Super. Gay.

I do have to say that I admire them for being secure enough in their sexuality to do something like this. At the end of the day, is this REALLY a big deal?

Also, I'd just love to see a player say something derogatory to Souray's face. He'll go 'Eastern Promises' on them.

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#56 Harlie
October 09 2009, 11:01AM
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David S wrote:

I'm sorry man, but that picture isn't just gay, its super-gay. The composure, where Moreau is looking, Souray's helmet positioning, young Cogs loving gaze.

On the other hand, it does explain why Moreau gets beat so much in fights.

Super. Gay.

Super!? Super like Gary and Ace. "The Ambiguously Gay Duo!"

hxxp://video.google.com/videosearch?as_sitesearch=youtube.com&hl=en&client=safari&rls=en&q=gary+and+ace+site:youtube.com&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=d2rPSq2XMYXUtgOcyLTIDg&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1#q=gary+and+ace&hl=en&emb=0&client=safari&start=20

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#57 Travis Dakin
October 09 2009, 11:05AM
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Poo Czar wrote:

Man, jerking off in the sink is just GROSS.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHADH

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#58 stilldrinkingthekoolaid
October 09 2009, 11:12AM
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Mom is drooling on my shoulder! Ugh

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#59 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 11:13AM
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@Travis Dakin

...AHAHADH

I shudder to think about what caused that break in laughing...

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#60 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 09 2009, 11:37AM
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David S wrote:

I'm sorry man, but that picture isn't just gay, its super-gay. The composure, where Moreau is looking, Souray's helmet positioning, young Cogs loving gaze.

On the other hand, it does explain why Moreau gets beat so much in fights.

Super. Gay.

You can't see it from this shot, but the caption explains that it's not a helmet - it was originally a dinner plate before Souray's manhood got through with it.

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#61 Bruno
October 09 2009, 11:38AM
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Taking team unity to a whole new level. Is that a dressing room or a Roman bath. Just try to sell that team toughness angle now

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#62 Travis Dakin
October 09 2009, 11:47AM
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Librarian Mike wrote:
...AHAHADH

I shudder to think about what caused that break in laughing...

That would be comment numbers 46 and 48 of this thread.

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#63 Travis Dakin
October 09 2009, 11:48AM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

You can't see it from this shot, but the caption explains that it's not a helmet - it was originally a dinner plate before Souray's manhood got through with it.

See, now that is comedic gold.

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#64 Rusty Duggan
October 09 2009, 12:04PM
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Calgary had lucky goals all night long....I hate Calgary more today than yesterday!

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#65 Victoria
October 09 2009, 12:13PM
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The only thing that would make this picture funnier is finding out they were listening to Private Eyes during the photoshoot.

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#66 Chris.
October 09 2009, 12:13PM
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Here is a link to the photo shoot on You Tube:

hxxp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhmKX3JsSK4

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#67 haha
October 09 2009, 12:29PM
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Souray - Are you sure there aren't any bigger helmets this ones cutting off the circulation.

photographer - It's the biggest one we have you're lucky that Comrie let you use it.

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#68 Hemmertime
October 09 2009, 12:35PM
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Kevine Lowe: Okay guys, we have a new marketing photo needed, it will be relaxed and casual. We, uhhh, are going to strip you guys naked and take photos while you three sit there gazing lovingly at each other. No, dont worry, its not gay, would it be running in a mens magazine if it was? I thought not.

Even worse, what if thats an "Action shot". They just snapped a photo of the day to day in the Oilers locker room.

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#69 Hemmertime
October 09 2009, 12:38PM
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In other news, Pouliot missed practice again with an inflamed public bone. After Tjanqvists pubic inflammation for 8 months something tells me they aren't hosing down the dressing room seats enough.

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#70 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 12:40PM
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Victoria wrote:

The only thing that would make this picture funnier is finding out they were listening to Private Eyes during the photoshoot.

Let's put things into perspective: This photo is silly. Clapping along to Private Eyes is just EMBARRASSING.

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#71 Hemmertime
October 09 2009, 12:40PM
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EDIT key, My public bone hurts.

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#72 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 09 2009, 12:46PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

EDIT key, My public bone hurts.

Ha! That reminds me...

I work for Manitoba Public Insurance. You'd be surprised at the number of times people make that same spelling mistake the other way around. Spell check doesn't pick it up because it's not spelled incorrectly.

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#73 reileycat
October 09 2009, 12:46PM
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This photo-shoot would have been totally worth it if Pat Quinn had actually used the phrase "panty sprinklers" in last night's press conference.

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#74 Dan the Man
October 09 2009, 12:49PM
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Nice photo of the boys "just hangin out"

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#75 G unit
October 09 2009, 12:54PM
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@Victoria

LoL. So true...I can so picture that playing in the background. Or a little Top Gun "You've lost that love in feeling".. Now that I think about it, that picture is almost as good as the Volley Ball scene in Top Gun.

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#76 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 12:54PM
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I guess we should all be thankful they didn't do this with the coaching staff *throws up a little bit in mouth*.

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#77 Mike
October 09 2009, 12:54PM
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That photo is interesting, but I hear the actually magazine is pretty sweet. Some ladies look fine. And Gregor's line of panty sprinklers was unbelievable.

**Slow clap and bow to the Nation**

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#78 Morghasm
October 09 2009, 12:58PM
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I don't know what's funnier, the photo or the fact that you guys are all so weirded out by it. I may be generalizing, but this photo is totally working for us lady types.

Moreau's body looks good enough that I almost regretted choosing him as my goat this year. Almost.

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#79 SirFozz
October 09 2009, 12:59PM
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With this photo for all to see, it's only a matter of time before the Comrie is sleeping with Mrs. Moreau's husband rumours start.

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#80 EricOG
October 09 2009, 01:02PM
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If I didn't know better, I would say that Moreau is enjoying the view a little more than he should and Souray is like, "Yea man".

On another note, the Flames had to play at top level to win those games. If that was against the Oilers, they are in a lot of trouble once they meet up with the likes of the Capitals and such.

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#81 Name
October 09 2009, 01:11PM
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Hmmm - I'm thinking this photo was not a good idea.

I think the worst bit is that the neck of the sweater behind Souray looks like little devil horns - like Souray is wearing some weird French Quarter gay outfit headgear thingy.

I'd bet that wasn't intended - but it kinda takes the photo to where it seems to want to go.

What's next: A photo of several of the Canuck players in French Maid outfits decorating a float for the Pride Parade?

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#82 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 09 2009, 01:13PM
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Name wrote:

Hmmm - I'm thinking this photo was not a good idea.

I think the worst bit is that the neck of the sweater behind Souray looks like little devil horns - like Souray is wearing some weird French Quarter gay outfit headgear thingy.

I'd bet that wasn't intended - but it kinda takes the photo to where it seems to want to go.

What's next: A photo of several of the Canuck players in French Maid outfits decorating a float for the Pride Parade?

Mmmm... twins...

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#83 Ribs
October 09 2009, 01:47PM
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Don't combine the streams!!! AAaaaaahhhhh!!!

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#84 Oilitsinyoutogive
October 09 2009, 02:07PM
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The picture i think is only being used to sell the game more towards the female gender. If it works for the NHL then why not go for it if you have players willing to do it?

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#85 OILERSORDEATH
October 09 2009, 02:10PM
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Wow its becoming so common to lose in that fashon is rediculous. Go back to last year how many games did the Oil lose in the dying minutes of a game at least 10. I'am done sticking up for Hemmer F$CK HIM!!! What a lazy piece of sh!t, and as for Horcoff when you take a way him faceoff abilites he is a piece of sh!t also. Pat Quinn I say to you: CLEAN HOUSE! and good luck. I'm done watching Oilers for a while, broke another remote control last night.

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#86 Senator Theo
October 09 2009, 02:22PM
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Morghasm wrote:

I don't know what's funnier, the photo or the fact that you guys are all so weirded out by it. I may be generalizing, but this photo is totally working for us lady types.

Moreau's body looks good enough that I almost regretted choosing him as my goat this year. Almost.

So the next time you're with your husband/boyfriend/boss just close your eyes and imagine you're making love to your goat.

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#87 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
October 09 2009, 02:23PM
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Senator Theo wrote:

So the next time you're with your husband/boyfriend/boss just close your eyes and imagine you're making love to your goat.

So... many... Scottish... jokes...

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#88 Amber McCormick
October 09 2009, 02:28PM
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When I saw this posting I was going to write something immediately! Then I....er...um, got distracted. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY!

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#89 I'm a Scientist!
October 09 2009, 02:42PM
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@Senator Theo

So the next time you're with your husband/boyfriend/boss just close your eyes and imagine you're making love to your goat.

*Super-fast-annoying clap* Gold. Pure Gold!

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#90 Kimmie
October 09 2009, 02:47PM
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I find it funny that all the people on here that are dissing it are the male fans! Of course the male population would hate this idea.... but i can almost guarantee you have no issue with the scantily clad women that prance around at the oilers games. Now, im not getting mad at those men who hate this picture but I just want to point out that there are women fans too!!! There shouldn't be any double standards, right?!?! I think this picture is AWESOME!!!

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#91 Kimmie
October 09 2009, 02:49PM
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And a side note... Ornella Moreau is one lucky lucky lady!!

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#92 Senator Theo
October 09 2009, 02:58PM
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Kimmie wrote:

And a side note... Ornella Moreau is one lucky lucky lady!!

I haven't seen any scantily clad women at oiler games? What section are they in?

In all seriousness, you know what's funny about jerseys? They are huge loose garments that cover up everything, but they are super sexy on a woman. I don't know what it is. Any woman automatically gets higher on the scale by throwing on an Oilers jersey and a pair of jeans. The reverse is true with a Flames or Riders jersey.

Oh, and "Ornella"? Really? I hope she's hot, because I'm sure heard a lot of teasing growing up. "Hey Or-smella", or "Ornella Ornella, looks like a fella". You know, things of that nature.

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#93 Marsha
October 09 2009, 03:04PM
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@Kimmie

There is only one problem with this photo, Souray's head is covering the Oilers logo. Duh! Otherwise, it's delightful !

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#94 BarryS
October 09 2009, 03:56PM
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Now, now, boys. So many threatened comments I have never heard before. The only thing they got we don't is millions of bucks in the bank. When you have enough money, females don't give a darn about alleged shortcomings. Just look at all them rich old codges with the 20 soimething bimbos on their arms.

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#95 Ender
October 09 2009, 04:01PM
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Kimmie wrote:

And a side note... Ornella Moreau is one lucky lucky lady!!

It would of course be a female Nation citizen that actually knows the Captain's wife's name.

Can any male Nationeer out there name even a single other Oiler wife?

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#96 luvethanm
October 09 2009, 04:39PM
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HOT!HOT!HOT! The fact that those guys are very confortable and confident enough to this. Hats off for both Ethan and Sheldon. And Sheldon, seriously hat off please.......

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#97 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 04:46PM
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luvethanm wrote:

HOT!HOT!HOT! The fact that those guys are very confortable and confident enough to this. Hats off for both Ethan and Sheldon. And Sheldon, seriously hat off please.......

Hahaha!

Wait...that's his helmet? I thought it was his cup?

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#98 Porkchop
October 09 2009, 04:50PM
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As a girl, and a person with eyes, I too think this picture is indeed the gayest thing ever. Cogliano oggling Captain awesome and Mr. Fabulous...all looking so jolly....?!

And WHY is Souray's head so disproportionately tiny? It almost rivals Chris Pronger's....almost.

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#99 luvethanm
October 09 2009, 04:56PM
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@Porkchop

The picture is not the gayest thing ever. Only closed minded people think so. I think it's one of the BRAVEST thing ever. Cogliano is not oggling but merely admiring the braveness of the two men. Cogliano was probabaly thinking that he hoped one day that he would be just as brave.

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#100 Librarian Mike
October 09 2009, 05:03PM
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@luvethanm

Cogliano was probabaly thinking that he hoped one day that he would be just as brave.

Indeed, as soon as those pubes start coming in.

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