GDB XXVI: Kicked when we're down

bingofuel
November 27 2009 04:09PM

Is it still considered unmanly to cry? If it is, then please feel free to ignore the contents of this post. You see, when Robin Brownlee called me up this morning to tell me that he was hearing rumours that Ales Hemsky was bound for the operating table, I welled up — partly because I wish Ales well (and I do! Feel better, Hemmer!). But mostly because it sort of feels like the nail in the coffin of an already grotesque season.

We're more than 20 games into the thick of it. We're seven players down due to illness and injury. Gregor's getting pissed out of shape down in Calgary for the Grey Cup, Wanye's off in some backwater European country learning how to bake artisan bread just so, Willis is rocking the Internets at theScore.ca... And the rest of us are sitting here swallowing mouthfuls of our own fingernails as we watch an average team slide further down the bell curve.

Sweet jumping Moses, people, I have to stop thinking this way! Someone, pass the Kool-Aid.

Oh yeah!

Beat the Heat. No, seriously, do it

I know, I know Dany effin' Heatley's in town.

Big effin' deal.

Oh sure, we've partnered with Original Joe's in their Beat the Heat campaign to poke fun at the Heat. I'm going down there tonight to order no less than 27 Joe Burgers so that $27 can be donated to the Give Me Shelter charity. 27 burgers, Nation. If I was actually worried about Dany Heatley, I'd have 28 — just enough to put me into a coma so I could wake up tomorrow morning without a care in the world...

Yes, I would wake up and everyone would be healthy again. Hemsky's shoulder, it would turn out, actually became super-strong allowing him to shoot harder, more often and more accurately.

Comrie would be cured of his mono, and he would score 50 goals with Hilary Duff riding on his back singing her hit song, "[insert name of Duff song here]."

Khabibulin's back wouldn't only be back to 100%, but he would go on to win the World Breakdancing Championships. He'd also rescue a puppy from a fire, started by another rabid puppy.

The statue of Wayne Gretzky outside RX1 would be replaced with a statue of Dustin Penner standing on a pile of skulls — skulls that once belonged to all the people who ever made a donair joke at his expense. The pile would be 12 miles high.

Back to reality

But dreams aren't reality, kids. That's what my expensive psychology degree taught me. We're icing a team of youngins and ne'er-do-wells against a team of — quite literally — Sharks. Colin McDonald and Ryan O'Marra have been called up, Reddox has been sent down, and the lines they are a-changin'.

Oh, and there's going to be another teammate for the Oilers. THE FANS. I'd wager, in spite of the Oilers' shabby record, this is the most excited you're going to see the fans at RX1 in a really long time. Every time the Heat touches the rubber, the sound from the crowd will be defeaning.

And that alone will win the Oilers the game. 2-1 Oilers. In a shootout. And the star of the game will be none other than Deslauriers.

If I'm wrong, I will eat as many OJ's burgers as Penner ate donairs last season. I swear.

243fa199ff6efc362bf29a17e950b47e
Bingofuel is the handsome cyborg who pulls all the levers behind the curtains of the OilersNation. When he isn't running the site, he's plugged into a wall socket, recharging. Or Brownlee and Wanye are playing "keep away" with him. He gets little to no respect.
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#51 Harlie
November 27 2009, 08:23PM
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i am puking in my mouth as I watch Tambellini put on an alligator smile and say that Hemsky going down is an "opportunity".

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#52 rubbertrout
November 27 2009, 08:30PM
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Why must they hurt me so? I hate the mighty oil. Not as much as I hate the flames but still.

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#53 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 08:36PM
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Something that I have never ever uttered in my life, but do you think the moustaches are a curse?

*gasps and runs to light a candle in his Tom Selleck shrine*

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#54 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 08:46PM
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*looks around the empty room*

Was it something i said?

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#55 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 08:49PM
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I just noticed JDD has "Gysmo" on the back of his helmet, it should read "Gumby"

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#56 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 08:51PM
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GOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

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#57 Harlie
November 27 2009, 08:51PM
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Ryan Perogy!

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#58 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 08:51PM
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yes!!!!!!!

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#59 BarryS
November 27 2009, 09:14PM
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I thought thought the book on Potulny was he couldn't skate? Seemed fast enough on the breakaway. Well, at the end of two we still have a chance. Anybody else notice they're playing like a hockey team, tonight? Covering for each other, winning battles for the puck, helping win faceoffs, and shooting.

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#60 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:17PM
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On a plus side, i think the goal tending issue and the confidence in our back-up should be laid to rest by now... go gumby!!!

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#61 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:26PM
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GOAAALL PDP :)

Edit : GOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAALLL Brule :)

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#62 VK63
November 27 2009, 09:27PM
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wow........ offside much?

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#63 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:32PM
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@VK63

even on the replays it looked offside, i'll take it!

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#64 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 09:39PM
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oh oh... 3-3 just like my Game Day Prediction power is going to go out...

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#65 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:39PM
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Big Sex lays down the heat :P

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#66 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 09:40PM
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oh Smid....you had me at hello! Good try little buddy!

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#67 David S
November 27 2009, 09:44PM
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So is everybody out boozin' tonight?

And WTF is with the post count? This site is borked!

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#68 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:47PM
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David S wrote:

So is everybody out boozin' tonight?

And WTF is with the post count? This site is borked!

Hemsky's out for the season so everybody is out drowning their sorrows ... except for JS, i suspect hes looking for a lady to take home and not sleep with.

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#69 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 09:49PM
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GOAL!

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#70 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:49PM
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WOOOOOOOOOOOH Potulny!!

*swoons*

Edit : if they pull nabokov i want to see Potulny out there.

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#71 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 09:54PM
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YES!

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#72 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 09:55PM
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@Wanyes bastard child

I want to see Smid out there if they pull him. And Cogs...

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#73 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 09:56PM
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GDSOMVLAKJDLKJD

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#74 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 09:56PM
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Booooooooo

still on the PP.. get one boys!

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#75 David S
November 27 2009, 09:56PM
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If I didn't see it, I wouldn't have believed it.

*sobs uncontrollably*

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#76 VK63
November 27 2009, 09:57PM
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big sexy........ PILON, ...... ugh!

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#77 David S
November 27 2009, 10:00PM
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Must be nice when one of your stars is having a bad night...AND YOU HAVE ANOTHER STAR TO PICK UP THE SLACK.

Sheesh!

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#78 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:00PM
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Point! I will take it...

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#79 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 10:00PM
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I just yelled shoot at Gilbert.. my cat looked at me and shook its head, yeah that's sad, home alone watching the game with some beers and my cats... papa i miss you!

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#80 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:05PM
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son of a...

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#81 David S
November 27 2009, 10:05PM
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Who the eff calls a high sticking penalty IN OVERTIME??????

FIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!!!

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#82 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:06PM
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the ref that looks like Kenny from Kenny and Spenny

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#83 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:06PM
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three on three? wow...

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#84 David S
November 27 2009, 10:08PM
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WHY IS COGLIANO NOT ON FOR THE 3 ON 3????????

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#85 rubbertrout
November 27 2009, 10:09PM
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Big sexy at -4 and 4 PIM. I get that he's a valuable guy but why is he such a pylon?

Too bad the GDB post went up too late because I was going to give the prediction of the Oil winning 5-4 in a SO.

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#86 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:09PM
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...and then he had the best chance...

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#87 David S
November 27 2009, 10:10PM
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Shooooooooooot Ouuuuuuuuuuut!

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#88 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 10:11PM
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*holds hands over eyes and barely cracks two fingers to watch the shootout*

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#89 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:11PM
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Penner Cogs and SMid in the shoot out? That would be terribly funny terrible...

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#90 rubbertrout
November 27 2009, 10:11PM
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Missing Hemmer for the shootout. . .

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#91 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:12PM
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*gulp*

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#92 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:15PM
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why do all the sharks look like corpses? they are from Cali...get some sun!

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#93 I'm a Scientist!
November 27 2009, 10:16PM
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ugh.

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#94 Wanyes bastard child
November 27 2009, 10:16PM
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Well.. all in all im happy with tonights game.

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#95 rubbertrout
November 27 2009, 10:17PM
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better than I expected.

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#96 rubbertrout
November 27 2009, 10:18PM
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Damnit.

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#97 pmg2
November 27 2009, 10:19PM
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Oil LOSE. Lose, Lose, and Lose, and Lose some more !!!!!!!

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#98 The Real Scuba Steve
November 27 2009, 10:27PM
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Harlie wrote:

i am puking in my mouth as I watch Tambellini put on an alligator smile and say that Hemsky going down is an "opportunity".

The scariest thing I notice is he was serious!

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#99 BarryS
November 27 2009, 10:28PM
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pmg2 wrote:

Oil LOSE. Lose, Lose, and Lose, and Lose some more !!!!!!!

You know, the call ups continue to progress like they are, perhaps we will be finding some of the players we have been looking for. They play anywhere near like this the rest of the season, the playoffs are a distinct possibility. Don't know what the farm team is going to do, some of the players here are not going back.

Of course, tomorrow is another game but we will enjoy tonight for the great game it was.

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#100 Robin Brownlee
November 27 2009, 10:28PM
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@Wanyes bastard child

Aside from Souray and Staios getting shredded by San Jose's top line and giving up a shorty in the final two minutes, a pretty good effort and a nice night by Brule and Potulny.

And the point is a bonus -- Penner was offside on the Oilers second goal.

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