You're so Money and you don't even know it

bingofuel
November 05 2009 09:30AM

Well, it's finally happened, Nationeers. Our crack team of developer-monkeys (which, really, should be singular as Citizen Alpha has been the lead monkey on rebuilding the Nations) has made enough amazing changes to the site that we feel like we can sit back, relax a tip one or two back in the name of... well, OilersNation.

I'll get to some of the changes that you'll probably have already noticed here on the site in a bit, but first, let me provide you with some history.

You see, when Wanye hatched the scheme to start these websites, it seemed like a simple proposition. Build a blog, add some plug-ins, build an audience, and watch the trucks with dollar signs drop off cash every month.

It didn't really turn out that way.

We built. We wrote. And we made hilarious photoshop images. And very little happened

So we re-built, and wrote some more, adding the talents of Robin Brownlee, Jason Gregor and Jonathan Willis to the roster. Finally some people started checking out the site. Some of you started to demand things, like a functional edit button, and more, better content.

Then the site broke because we had too much traffic.

So we re-built. And re-built. Yes. Twice.

And then we re-built some more, to arrive at this moment: OilersNation 4.0. Because what you see pictured below is what makes this all worthwhile.

'We need an edit button!'

Well, readers fair, you have your pound of flesh. The demands for an edit button resonated across these hallowed halls for months and months. And every time someone said, "Damn, I wish there was an edit button," Wanye would become increasingly agitated.

You know that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? when Eddie Valiant feeds Roger booze and he totally has that weird alcoholic relapse (pictured below)? That was Wanye's reaction every time someone said "edit button." And he would rant and rave and kick the air and demand things — crazy things involving origami cranes and the blood of young animals — until the edit button was in place.

But it's here. And as Wanye dozes silently in a corner covered in newspapers from the 1980s, I think it's safe to say that he's happy with our progress... for now.

I'd also like to personally welcome some of our new columnists, including The Towel Boy, MInister of the Draft, and Jeanshorts, back writing for the Nation in all of his glory. You boys are most welcome. Do us citizens proud!

But what's next?

What I can tell you is that lots more is on the way. Stuff you guys haven't even thought of. My stars, the things that we have coming next, you don't even know!

But I can't tell you any of that... Not yet.

Show me the Money

In the meantime, we're trying to hook up exclusive offers for Citizens of the Nation. On that front, we've partnered with River Cree Resort and Casino to give away 50 pairs of tickets to see Eddie Money on November 28th. And really, who can say no to Two Tickets to Paradise?

Not me. And certainly not you.

Peep the ad on the right-hand sidebar from River Cree, give it a click and enter your name to see this rock n roll legend. Which rock n roll legend, you ask?

THIS ONE:

Right. On. The Money.

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Bingofuel is the handsome cyborg who pulls all the levers behind the curtains of the OilersNation. When he isn't running the site, he's plugged into a wall socket, recharging. Or Brownlee and Wanye are playing "keep away" with him. He gets little to no respect.
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#1 The Towel Boy
November 05 2009, 09:34AM
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This article has it all! Flipping monkeys! Eddie Money!

Man! For my money, it doesn't get any better.

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#2 Citizen Alpha
November 05 2009, 09:37AM
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I'm now sh-sh-sh-shaken. With lust.

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#4 roughneck
November 05 2009, 09:40AM
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so NOW the trucks with dollar signs come?

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#6 freeze
November 05 2009, 09:47AM
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Well done nerds. Well done. This site is wicked fast now. Vegas baby, Vegas! <--test edit How do we do returns again? Mine aren't showing up.

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#7 I'm a Scientist!
November 05 2009, 09:47AM
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So it wasn't a dream...

*walks to the middle of the room, looks skyward and spins around slowly with his arms extended*

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#8 SportsDad
November 05 2009, 09:48AM
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@bingofuel

I have back flippin monkey envy. You guys are like gods. I bet when the trucks do show up, they will be driven by Victoria Secret Models in the new spring 2010 line.

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#9 Ogden Brother
November 05 2009, 09:50AM
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I was just going to say that Craig Wark would be pleased, looks like he beat me to it though.

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#10 Wanye
November 05 2009, 09:52AM
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THAT BACKFLIPPING MONKEY BE TRIPPIN!!

*claps hands excitedly*

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#11 Harlie
November 05 2009, 10:08AM
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Eddie Money...is that the guy who sings "I Love a Rainy Night"?

Oh wait a minute, that was Eddie Rabbitt.

See how that fits with this blog post? Weird eh! haha

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#12 Ender
November 05 2009, 10:17AM
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SportsDad wrote:

I have back flippin monkey envy. You guys are like gods. I bet when the trucks do show up, they will be driven by Victoria Secret Models in the new spring 2010 line.

With Wanye's luck, the models will all bear a suspicious resemblance to a certain troupe of back-flipping monkeys I saw once.

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#13 I'm a Scientist!
November 05 2009, 10:17AM
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Craig Wark wrote:

fair enough.

Roger Rabit insults our intelligence though, and Gregor and Brownie have good opinions but are special needs when it comes to Funny.

I am a scientist...~so OBVIOUSLY intelligent~...and I still appreciate a good Roger Rabbit reference! It is all about balance my friend.

Besides, who cares! Did you see the EDIT button? *swoon*

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#14 freeze
November 05 2009, 10:21AM
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Craig Wark wrote:

"how do we do returns again?"

This is an Oilers blog and stop calling people "nerds"

NERD!!! Bingofuel knows where I am coming from. We're all hockey nerds in these parts.

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#16 I'm a Scientist!
November 05 2009, 10:26AM
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Craig Wark wrote:

I know your a scientist, thats why I didn't use big words.

I appreciate that! Thank you!

*resists the urge to correct the two grammar mistakes in Craig Wark's post*

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#17 Wanye
November 05 2009, 10:27AM
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Craig Wark wrote:

fair enough.

Roger Rabit insults our intelligence though, and Gregor and Brownie have good opinions but are special needs when it comes to Funny.

I just can't tell you how much I am enjoying your witty, well considered commentary Craig. The next time I see you screaming at passersby outside the Tim Horton's on Jasper Ave, I must remember to commend you personally.

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#18 Tracie
November 05 2009, 10:31AM
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This site Rocks!!! Great job Wanye and Bingofuel!

can you make a button that increases the Oilers effort levels for game day?

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#19 Dyckster
November 05 2009, 10:33AM
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~Yes, I definately agree with Mr. Wark. We need to remain absolutely rigid with the articles represented on this site along with the impending responses from it's members. There shall be NO FUN HERE!~

Meh, don't like it, don't read it my friend. We have a great mix of serious hockey stuff and great Wanye and bingofuel type humour. Whatever you do...don't stop! (That's what she said).

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#20 Hemmercules
November 05 2009, 10:34AM
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Countless hours lost at work for the love of this site. Thank you Nation!

When is the new gear going on sale???

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#21 The Towel Boy
November 05 2009, 10:36AM
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Oh, I get it. Craig Wark is Deepoil. It makes sense now.

The incoherent thoughts, the mindless babble, the blatant attempts to troll. It all adds up.

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#22 Hemmercules
November 05 2009, 10:38AM
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Craig Wark wrote:

"were all nerds"

Maybe thats what your mom tells you.

I feel bad for Cogliano because he is a good player but doesn't fit into the current line up.

Just get it overwith and change your screen name to Buzz Killington.

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#23 Shannon
November 05 2009, 10:41AM
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@I'm a Scientist!

I would like to correct his grammar as well, but that's Bingofuel's job methinks (sorry, I couldn't resist)!

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#24 Ogden Brother Jr. - Team Strudwick for coach
November 05 2009, 10:42AM
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So when do the monkey write their first blog?

And the edit works

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#25 Dyckster
November 05 2009, 10:50AM
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People,

Blog trolls are like bumble bees, if you don't want to get stung, ignore them and they'll go away. Let's take the sting out of Craig Wark.

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#26 ChiliChunk
November 05 2009, 11:20AM
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well back-flipping monkeys are quite impressive but I still think you need to hire Irish step dancing monkeys. imagine the site they would come up with...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQ2nVL1-XFk

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#27 freeze
November 05 2009, 11:26AM
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Dyckster wrote:

People,

Blog trolls are like bumble bees, if you don't want to get stung, ignore them and they'll go away. Let's take the sting out of Craig Wark.

sigh, yeah, I forgot to heed my own creed. "Don't feed the trolls."

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#28 Dyckster
November 05 2009, 11:50AM
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Sorry to thread jack but.....Through an Alberta Diabetes Foundation fundraiser my daughter's Bantam Hockey Team had Cogliano (who I think is the primary spokesperson for the ADF) out to her practice last night. He's a quality dude. He spent some time yacking with the coaches, autographed pictures for every player and came on the ice for the entire 75 minutes. Assisted with some drills, ran a couple himself, and answered some questions afterwards. He represented the Oilers and himself very well, I was impressed, the girls were in love, yadayadayada.

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#29 Wanye
November 05 2009, 11:51AM
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Craig Wark wrote:

Stop googling me losers.

Dick I don't know a what troll is and I don't care.

Draft well, develop prudently and don't sign poor contracts....I don't believe in teams "tanking"

I like that he is still finding time inbetween burns to provide commentary on the team.

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#30 Brandon
November 05 2009, 11:52AM
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So whoever sent OilersNation $5000 for a wallpaper is my hero, as I can only assume he paid for the edit button

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#31 freeze
November 05 2009, 11:56AM
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Dyckster wrote:

Sorry to thread jack but.....Through an Alberta Diabetes Foundation fundraiser my daughter's Bantam Hockey Team had Cogliano (who I think is the primary spokesperson for the ADF) out to her practice last night. He's a quality dude. He spent some time yacking with the coaches, autographed pictures for every player and came on the ice for the entire 75 minutes. Assisted with some drills, ran a couple himself, and answered some questions afterwards. He represented the Oilers and himself very well, I was impressed, the girls were in love, yadayadayada.

That is wicked.

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#32 freeze
November 05 2009, 11:58AM
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@Craig Wark

You are right on your commentary on the team. Too bad we have so many poor contracts.

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#33 DK0
November 05 2009, 11:58AM
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Can we have a mulligan? Just clear all comments and start again, maybe blocking a certain commenter?

In other news: JSBM and Towelboy added = more comedy! w00!

So is Nov 4th a new ON holiday? on the 1st day of editbutton my true love gave to me.....

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#34 freeze
November 05 2009, 12:00PM
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Can the post show that it was edited? It would be good to know in case someone goes back and changes a post, then tries to claim otherwise.

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#35 Citizen Alpha
November 05 2009, 12:04PM
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freeze wrote:

Can the post show that it was edited? It would be good to know in case someone goes back and changes a post, then tries to claim otherwise.

That'll be coming up next along with some improvements to quoting. And a bit of douchebaggery management for the admins, hopefully.

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#36 SportsDad
November 05 2009, 12:05PM
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@Dyckster

Was that at Kinnex arena last night? Or was he at another rink as well? I was there for the public skating after the practice that he was at and the kids and parents were still swooning :) Good to see him out in the public for a good cause.

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#38 BarryS
November 05 2009, 12:06PM
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-me thinks feeding trolls is not unlike like petting the sharks feeding on dead whales in Sidney Harbour. Only trolls have fewer brain cells than sharks and slower reactions. Still, neither are actually activities designed to keep you from being listed for the Darwin Awards. The difference between sharks and trolls os sharls bite sometimes but trolls only whine about things they don't like. Now if the government got buzy and built more bridges for the trolls to live under, perhaps fewer of them would be available to wander through these pages.-

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#39 David S
November 05 2009, 12:06PM
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Wanye wrote:

I like that he is still finding time inbetween burns to provide commentary on the team.

Its called passive-aggressive. 'Roid monkeys at the gym pull it off supremely well.

"Get off "my" machine, punk. Hey - how about those Oilers?"

The window of greatness for most of them is 4-5 years. Afterwards you'll see their face shots in cool places like the Real Estate section of the newspaper or "Sales guy of the month" ads for Londonderry Chrysler.

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#40 Dyckster
November 05 2009, 12:07PM
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Further to Mr. Cogliano.....

Holy crap can he skate. When some finesse is added to the power, he'll be lethal.

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#41 Tight Lips
November 05 2009, 12:08PM
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@Craig Wark

You seriously couldn't wait for the GDB to start this kind of debate? It would have been a prudent decision as you would probably have people actually responding to you instead of mocking and/or ignoring you.

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#42 David S
November 05 2009, 12:10PM
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"Is there an issue Poppa?"

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#43 Dyckster
November 05 2009, 12:11PM
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@SportsDad

Yes sir it was at Kinex.

Swooning is an understatement. Maybe swooning on the verge of salivating (the players and moms anyway)?

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#44 BarryS
November 05 2009, 12:13PM
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freeze wrote:

You are right on your commentary on the team. Too bad we have so many poor contracts.

Who are the contracts bad for? The playesr? The player's family? The tax department? The guy who sells expensive cars? The guy who rents or sells expensive houses? The guy who's actually signing the chegues paying for themit? Haven't heard a word of complaint from any of those sources. I'm not complaining either since I don't drink beer, haven't paid for a ticket since 1992 when they became to expensive for me to buy, and only by one or two PFV's a year.

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#45 freeze
November 05 2009, 12:18PM
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@BarryS

I'm not sure I follow you. I would say the contracts are bad for the current GM. The team has major holes and there is no cap space in which to acquire players who might help plug said holes.

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#46 SportsDad
November 05 2009, 12:21PM
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@Dyckster

Yeah, I think I saw a bit of drool here and there :)

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#47 BarryS
November 05 2009, 12:25PM
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freeze wrote:

I'm not sure I follow you. I would say the contracts are bad for the current GM. The team has major holes and there is no cap space in which to acquire players who might help plug said holes.

Haven't heard him complaining either. The real problem is at the momen there is no one who wants to trade with anybody other than to make sucker trades like used up or never will be players for draft choices. Besides, it is a long time to trading season which like hunting season had defined start and end dates.

And guess what, everybody on the team is tradeable if someone needs the skill he possess due to injury, play off run, etc. Also every team has one or two contracts similar to ours, even the teams with little money to spend.

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#48 Dyckster
November 05 2009, 12:26PM
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GDB = Game Day Blog (I think)

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#49 Tight Lips
November 05 2009, 12:31PM
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Dyckster wrote:

GDB = Game Day Blog (I think)

You would be correct, I could not remember if it was Game Day Blog (GDB) or Game Day Thread (GDT) so I just rolled with it.

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#50 Hemmercules
November 05 2009, 12:32PM
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Craig Wark wrote:

I'm sincerly glad that Cogliano is good human.

The negative is where does this guy fit in??? I hate to write this becuase I enjoy how the Oilers are known as a skating team however he doesn't fit in to this line up.

I know what you mean. I like him better as a winger. My guess is that the oilers wanted to see if Cogs, Brule, Gagner or Sully could emerge as one of our steady centerman. So far Brule looks the best in my opinion. I think cogs will eventually be a fulltime winger or not on the team. You could argue that hes young and has the potential to come around but how long do you wait???

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