Weekend hockey poetry

Jason Gregor
November 07 2009 12:07PM

"The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Mudville nine that day; the scored stood four to two with but one inning left to play..."

You’ve all read Casey At the Bat by Ernest Thayer I would hope, and right now there seems to be a sickly silence amongst the Oiler faithful.

The Outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Oilerville 23 this day
Their record was 7-8-1 with five games on the road to play
When Jacques’ back flared up, and Hemsky’s shoulder did the same
A collective sigh arose, wondering which call up would hear his name.

Potulny was first to get a call, to the chagrin of all,
Then Reddox, the much despised, followed down the hall,
When the tickets had been printed, and the planes took off,
Quinn looked at his lineup and must have started to cough.

No Souray, No Stone, nor a Jacques or Smid
Who would slow Duchene, or even impede,
The mighty Avs led by Peter’s son
Who has them on a great early season run.

The sneer is gone from Quinn’s lip, his hands upon his head
Without Hemsky his offence might as well be dead
And now Tambellini holds the cards, and now he picks up the phone
Long distance charges sure to mount as he tries to acquire someone with a backbone

Oh, somewhere in the NHL fans are feeling bright
They look at the roster and don’t cringe with fright
And somewhere in the Nation, Khabi possesses the clout
And how to get the Oil a victory; By posting a shut out.

Today the Oilers recalled Ryan Potulny and Liam Reddox. Potulny has three goals and eight points in Springfield, while according to Rob Daum, Reddox has been average. Of course neither will replace the offence of Hemsky, or the size of Jacques, but they better come with some energy.

At least Reddox will work hard, and for a small guy go into the corners. He will probably replace MacIntyre in the lineup, while Potulny can play the wing or the middle. If Potulny shows a willingness to shoot the puck, Quinn might use him a lot.

This road trip will be a huge character test for the Oilers, to see if they can somehow manage two wins and a loss. At this point a .500 road trip would be a monumental victory for them. A disastrous trip could have them return home to Rexall near the bottom of the Western conference at the quarter pole of the season.

And that is not where Tambellini, Quinn or any of the players thought they’d be a mere two weeks ago.

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#1 Shaun Doe
November 07 2009, 12:19PM
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Way to sport the retro Fish jacket last night Gregor. Flashes of highschool brilliance. Is Hemsky suspected to be out long with this current injury or is it a maintenance stint?

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#2 Alphah
November 07 2009, 12:21PM
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Khabi posting a shut-out? Really? Not ONCE have I felt that we have been in danger of Khabi posting a shut-out. He plays "good", but he never looks like he is poised to win the game for us. He has yet to dominate the way Roloson would (from time to time). In his best games, he will always run into a weak stretch and let a couple in.

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#5 Milli
November 07 2009, 12:27PM
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A disaster of Monumental proportions!!!! I'd love a .500 trip, some energy, passion. We gotta be getting close to having some guys healthy again, don't we????

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#6 Librarian Mike
November 07 2009, 12:32PM
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This is starting to feel like that one season the Habs had when McCleary (?) got hit in the throat with the puck. I think they lost something like 3000 man-games that year.

Then again, fortune has a way of balancing out over a season. I really hope they can get it together soon, or else it's going to be a long winter.

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#7 David S
November 07 2009, 12:58PM
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"Ladies and gentleman, yoooouuurrr Springfield Falcons!"

Something tells me the word "debacle" is going to become quite popular again in Oilers game reporting.

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#8 SirFozz
November 07 2009, 01:07PM
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Though on the positive side......................ummmmmmmmm.......leafs are still terrible.

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#9 jeanshorts
November 07 2009, 01:45PM
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SirFozz wrote:

Though on the positive side......................ummmmmmmmm.......leafs are still terrible.

Hold your horses there guy. Haven't you heard? Phil "The Best Player To Ever Play Hockey Ever" Kessel is finally back and they have the greatest goalie since Patrick Roy between the pipes. AND they won a game last night! The Stanley Cup finals are pretty much just a formality at this point.

Remember last season when the Oilers got blown out by Chicago? And we all started cheering whenever the Hawks scored, and at one point we were really hoping they would crack the ten goal mark? If the Oilers continue to slide further down the toilet I'm pretty sure that's how the rest of the season is going to feel. See just how futile they can get.

Silver lining is, uhh........there's always next year?

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#10 Hands McDangles
November 07 2009, 01:55PM
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Alphah wrote:

Khabi posting a shut-out? Really? Not ONCE have I felt that we have been in danger of Khabi posting a shut-out. He plays "good", but he never looks like he is poised to win the game for us. He has yet to dominate the way Roloson would (from time to time). In his best games, he will always run into a weak stretch and let a couple in.

Are you kidding me Alphah? Khabibulin (sp) has been the best and most consistent Oiler this year outside of Penner.

It's hard to get shut-outs when Gilbert and Grebeshkov are playing some of the worst hockey of their careers right now and when the Oil can't make 2 consecutive passes to get out of their zone.

If you still miss Rolli then cheer for the Islanders but don't talk nonsense.

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#11 AO
November 07 2009, 02:16PM
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Dear OilersNation,

It may not be time to panic but it is time to accept the reality we deal with. We are at a fork in the road. Do we continue to "develop" the skill we have with the hopes that 3 years down the road they will round out a nice roster or do we part with some of our raw talent in search of some more established NHLer's while hanging onto a select few we think have potential. Current Oiler management seems to like the first choice, carry on with what we have. I prefer the latter. Sure we may trade Cogs and he becomes a nice 70 point man on another team ( I doubt it) but the choice has had to made. Him or Gagner. It is obvious.

And in no way am I suggesting that Cogs will get us some superstar talent. We need 3 or 4 established players (comp I am thinking of is Daymond Langkow).

Make the deal, shake it up... Otherwise this team is going nowhere and I am cheering for the Hawks.

At least they have Patrick Sharp like roster players.

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#12 Shaun Doe
November 07 2009, 02:21PM
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I didn't quite get a prorper look at the jacket but I would have to guess its a Starter? Well played. As for our current injuries I still baffles me that teams such as the canucks and av's who have similar injury woes continue to keep rolling along. At some point you expect their luck to run dry but it doesn't appear to be anytime soon. I think we have a combination of injuries and an innability to adopt/adapt to a new system.

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#13 Shaun Doe
November 07 2009, 02:24PM
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AO wrote:

Dear OilersNation,

It may not be time to panic but it is time to accept the reality we deal with. We are at a fork in the road. Do we continue to "develop" the skill we have with the hopes that 3 years down the road they will round out a nice roster or do we part with some of our raw talent in search of some more established NHLer's while hanging onto a select few we think have potential. Current Oiler management seems to like the first choice, carry on with what we have. I prefer the latter. Sure we may trade Cogs and he becomes a nice 70 point man on another team ( I doubt it) but the choice has had to made. Him or Gagner. It is obvious.

And in no way am I suggesting that Cogs will get us some superstar talent. We need 3 or 4 established players (comp I am thinking of is Daymond Langkow).

Make the deal, shake it up... Otherwise this team is going nowhere and I am cheering for the Hawks.

At least they have Patrick Sharp like roster players.

I think at this point of the season it would be a bad idea to go the trade route. The team is clearly reeling so the sharks will be smelling blood in the water. If we are going to make trades right now, everyone better be willing to get fleeced as I imagine very few trades will be slanted in the Oilers direction.

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#14 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
November 07 2009, 02:27PM
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SirFozz wrote:

Though on the positive side......................ummmmmmmmm.......leafs are still terrible.

on the positive side, taylor hall will be a mighty fine addition for the oilers come draft time!!

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#15 Hands McDangles
November 07 2009, 03:36PM
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Stauffer said on his show Wednesday that he thinks the Oil will finish anywhere from 5th to 11th in the Western Conference...is that even a prediction?

Is there anyone in Oilers Nation that seriously thinks the Oilers have a chance in hell at finishing 5th or even 7th in the Western Conference?

Here is my BOLD prediction...The Oilers will finish somewhere between 4th and 14th in the West.

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#16 Mike
November 07 2009, 04:15PM
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Hands McDangles wrote:

Stauffer said on his show Wednesday that he thinks the Oil will finish anywhere from 5th to 11th in the Western Conference...is that even a prediction?

Is there anyone in Oilers Nation that seriously thinks the Oilers have a chance in hell at finishing 5th or even 7th in the Western Conference?

Here is my BOLD prediction...The Oilers will finish somewhere between 4th and 14th in the West.

Who cares what Stauffer says? Why do you have to submit the identical post in two threads?

We don't care more about something because Stauffer said it. He isn't more credible or accurate than Brownlee or Gregor in my opinion.

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#17 Oilchange64
November 07 2009, 04:19PM
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I am almost getting nervous about the beating I have been giving to my Leaf fan friends.....

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#18 Librarian Mike
November 07 2009, 04:26PM
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@jeanshorts

Silver lining is, uhh........there's always next year?

The silver lining is that this site gets more entertaining in relation to how far to an extreme the Oilers are doing.

When the Oilers are playing crazy good, there's a lot of fun energy (with Robin appearing to tell us that they're not that good). When they're looking like a quad ringette team, like now for example, the rage floodgates open. Either way it's more fun than humdrum .500 hockey.

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#19 Hands McDangles
November 07 2009, 04:54PM
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Mike wrote:

Who cares what Stauffer says? Why do you have to submit the identical post in two threads?

We don't care more about something because Stauffer said it. He isn't more credible or accurate than Brownlee or Gregor in my opinion.

Mike, Relax...I was pointing out that what Stauffer said was not a prediction at all...I wasn't saying we need to care at all what he says or thinks...settle down!

I put it in this thread as well because it was related to Grogor's topic and I want to know if anyone actually thinks we can finish 5th-7th. Is that ok Mike? Ok thanks.

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#20 Robin Brownlee
November 07 2009, 04:55PM
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There once was a man from Nantucket . . .

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#21 Shaun Doe
November 07 2009, 05:02PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

There once was a man from Nantucket . . .

Oilers to the season said "F*ckit?"

Do I win the pulitzer?

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#22 Librarian Mike
November 07 2009, 05:17PM
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There once was a coach named Quinn

Whose captain was in the sin bin

Big Sexy had a headache

and Gilbert was a cupcake

but f**k it, at least Penner's thin.

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#23 Pouzar
November 07 2009, 05:35PM
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Just a quick question. With Reddox and Potulny coming up that puts the Oilers with 24 healthy players on their active roster. Was either Hemsky (not likely) or Jacques (more likely) put on the IR?

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#24 BK16
November 07 2009, 06:14PM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

There once was a coach named Quinn

Whose captain was in the sin bin

Big Sexy had a headache

and Gilbert was a cupcake

but f**k it, at least Penner's thin.

Absolute genius!!!! I love it!

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#25 Zamboni Driver
November 07 2009, 06:19PM
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Gotta think they're going to outright release SMack, no?

Nice fella and all, pretty good story, but Dude cannot play a lick - and plays a role the coach thinks unnecessary (and actually isn't even particularly stellar at it).

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#26 Alphah
November 07 2009, 06:56PM
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@Jason Gregor

..And how many Molson Cups did Roloson win while he was here? As if he was lacking in star appearances? I'm not saying Khabi hasn't been good; (I actually specifically stated that he HAS been good.)

I was merely stating that over the course of 20 games he doesn't seem to have that game-stealing, shut-out posting type of attitude/play that Roloson used to display from time to time.

While we're at it, lets pause and reflect on why we paid him double to NOT do the job that Roli was doing.

Lets face it, mistakes have been made. Khabibulin is the kind of goalie that a great team can win a cup with. Roloson is the kind of goalie that can make a pitiful team competitive.

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#27 Pozar
November 07 2009, 07:13PM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

Gotta think they're going to outright release SMack, no?

Nice fella and all, pretty good story, but Dude cannot play a lick - and plays a role the coach thinks unnecessary (and actually isn't even particularly stellar at it).

Agreed 100%, the writing is pretty much on the wall.

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#28 Dan the Man
November 07 2009, 09:27PM
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Zamboni Driver wrote:

Gotta think they're going to outright release SMack, no?

Nice fella and all, pretty good story, but Dude cannot play a lick - and plays a role the coach thinks unnecessary (and actually isn't even particularly stellar at it).

Can't disagree with that at all. If he was a dominant heavyweight that couldn't really play that's one thing but he's already lost to McGratton and Godard....we already have a bunch of guys that can lose fights.

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#29 Chris.
November 07 2009, 11:29PM
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In Quinn we trust; We say in jest. Lets play with crust; And Beat the best.

The fans drove Mac; Right out of Town. He was a Hack; Buffoon, and Clown.

He didn't like skill; The fans all said. No playoffs till: His time is dead.

Yet here we are; Not winning games. Playing sub-par; Trailing the Flames.

With Storts out; On Powerplay two: Fans don't doubt; Quinn and his crew.

The record's worse; The team can't score. An I.R. curse... Can't take much more!

But can Quinn pass; The Red Ox test? Or skate his ass; With our very best?

And if he does: Will we complain? No change coach buzz? No Mac to blame?

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#30 Librarian Mike
November 08 2009, 09:07AM
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@Chris.

Great poem!

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