UPDATED GDB XXXIX: A bumfight in the Battle of Alberta

Robin Brownlee
December 28 2009 03:12PM

Who really cares if the once-proud Battle of Alberta has degenerated into a shoving match between a couple of stumblebums who smell like ass and are laying face down, side-by-side in a puddle of puke in the gutter? An even fight is an even fight, right?

So goes the BOA, at least based on the recent fortunes of the Edmonton Oilers and Calgary Flames, who'll take another jolt from the jug and then go at each other like there's a meaty cigar butt up for grabs tonight at Rexall Place.

Simply put, the fourth meeting of the season between the teams is a hockey version of Bumfights, low-brow entertainment that was wildly popular among sadists, sportswriters and other white trash on the inter-web a few years ago -- the last time either of these teams was decent.

OILERS: "Aaargh. That's my jar, Bub. Hand it over or I'm going to stomp your ass." *wipes nose on sleeve, clenches fists, does a Friday Night Pizza Maker on shoes and kicks Calgary in the nuts.*

FLAMES: "Finders keepers, f*ckwad. Hands off, or I'm gonna shove my thumb in your eye and wipe my ass with your brain..." *craps pants, loses balance and sticks thumb in own eye.*

I say let 'em go.

Ring the bell

  • The Oilers have soiled themselves to the tune of six straight losses, including four straight defeats on home ice, in settling into 15th place in the Western Conference with a record of 15-19-4 for 34 points. They are 4-6-0 in their last 10 games.
  • Edmonton's power play can't get out of its own way, going a feeble 2-for-19 during this six-game slide. The penalty killing has resumed the abysmal rate of failure it managed last season, allowing eight goals in the last six games. It's rated 27th in the league.
  • The Oilers are 8-9-2 at home. Only Florida, 6-7-5, and St. Louis, 6-12-2, have thrown out the welcome mat and the keys to daddy's liquor cabinet to visitors more often.
  • The Oilers are 5-for-43 on the power play in the 13 games they've played since Ales Hemsky was knocked out of the line-up with a bad shoulder.
  • At 20-12-5, the Flamers are members of the top-hat crowd compared to the Oilers overall, but they come slumming during a stretch in which they've won just once in their last seven games. They've lost three straight and are 3-5-2 in their last 10.
  • Fresh from getting rolled 5-1 at home by the Vancouver Canucks, Sunday, the Flames are on a 0-for-6 stumble with a man advantage, which means the Oilers PK should be able to hold them to a couple goals tonight.
  • Captain Jarome Iginla leads the Flames with 20 goals, including Calgary's lone marker against the Canucks, but he's managed just four goals in the last 15 games.
  • The Flames have won the first three meetings of the teams this season. They edged the Oilers by identical 4-3 scores at Rexall Place Oct. 3 and Oct. 8, then drubbed the Oil 5-2 in Cowtown Oct. 24.

Tonight...

Based on the morning skate, the lines and defensive pairings will be as follows:

OILERS

Penner — Gagner — Nilsson
Jacques — Horcoff — Brule
Stone — Potulny — O'Sullivan
Moreau — Cogliano — Stortini

Souray — Gilbert
Visnovsky — Smid
Grebeshkov — Staios

FLAMES

Iginla — Jokinen — Conroy
Dawes — Langkow — Bourque
Glencross — Nystrom — Moss
Prust — Boyd — McGratton

Regehr — Phaneuf
Giordano — Bouwmeester
Johnson — Pardy or Kronwall

Dion rocks... or not

Calgary defenceman Dion Phaneuf obviously likes to sing. He just doesn't want to talk about it.

When a clip of Phaneuf belting out a version of "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey while on stage with an unidentified band surfaced recently, reporters wanted to ask him about it.

Word around the rink today was Phaneuf clammed up and told scribes that anybody writing or asking about it would be in his bad books. Oh well, Dion and I, we never got along anyway.

And...

  • Jeff Deslauriers, 8-9-2 with a 2.89 GAA and .906 saves percentage will get the start for the Oilers. Calgary will start Rejean Lemelin, er, make that Miikka Kiprusoff, 18-10-5 with a 2.26 GAA and .925 saves percentage.
  • Former Oilers goaltending coach Pete Peeters was in the rink this morning. Peeters, now a goaltending coach with Anaheim, had a long chat with Devan Dubnyk. Don't know if DD's .800 saves percentage came up.
  • Mike Comrie checked in after the morning skate, but there's no firm word as to when he'll come back from a bout of mononucleosis to resume skating with the team.

— Listen to Robin Brownlee every Wednesday and Thursday from 4 to 6 p.m. on Just A Game with Jason Gregor on TEAM 1260.

Aceb4a1816f5fa09879a023b07d1a9b4
A sports writer since 1983, including stints at The Edmonton Journal and The Sun 1989-2007, I happily co-host the Jason Gregor Show on TSN 1260 twice a week and write when so inclined. Have the best damn lawn on the internet. Most important, I am Sam's dad. Follow me on Twitter at Robin_Brownlee. Or don't.
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#1 The Towel Boy
December 28 2009, 03:26PM
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GOILERS!!!

Eberle is sure having a sweet game against the Swiss right now. Or so I've heard...it's not like I'm at work...streaming the game or anything...

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#2 Travis Dakin
December 28 2009, 03:26PM
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Feel free to join a few of us loyal nation readers at the pint tonight where we can cheer on the DFF together. Look for the IQWT shirts.

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#3 Harlie
December 28 2009, 03:27PM
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I'd love to see Calgary miss the playoffs. I doubt it will happen but if we can make them miss 2 points tonight at least we can hang our hat on that. And how about the Eberle guy? Just tearing it up today. I know it's against a weak team but in my opinion he has been the best Canadian in the tourney thus far which probably makes him the best player in the tourney thus far. The future looks bright but we have to get past the bum fight era first!

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#4 bingofuel
December 28 2009, 03:31PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Feel free to join a few of us loyal nation readers at the pint tonight where we can cheer on the DFF together. Look for the IQWT shirts.

Dammit! There's all this awesome game-day stuff going down (well, ok, only you guys at the Pint) and I have to visit with friends who are here from out of town...

Life's so unfair.

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#5 The Towel Boy
December 28 2009, 03:37PM
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@Travis Dakin

Keep rubbing it in, wouldja?

*holds self tightly and cries*

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#6 Travis Dakin
December 28 2009, 03:48PM
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bingofuel wrote:

Dammit! There's all this awesome game-day stuff going down (well, ok, only you guys at the Pint) and I have to visit with friends who are here from out of town...

Life's so unfair.

Visit with them here!

@ Towel Boy I hope you like double-vodka's with water and bar lime because that's what I've been drinking for you. Yummy.

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#7 Jodes
December 28 2009, 04:03PM
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How is the Pint anyways? Is it as pretencious and petty as the people standing outside of it on a Friday night, or is it a pretty decent pub?

I know the former bar there was near the "take your life into your own hands" type of establishments, in the great traditions of the Cromdale, York, Cecil, Drake and Transit hotels..

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#8 bingofuel
December 28 2009, 04:06PM
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Jodes wrote:

How is the Pint anyways? Is it as pretencious and petty as the people standing outside of it on a Friday night, or is it a pretty decent pub?

I know the former bar there was near the "take your life into your own hands" type of establishments, in the great traditions of the Cromdale, York, Cecil, Drake and Transit hotels..

I really like the Pint (and not just because they advertise with us). Nice, classy joint, decent food, and a more grown-up crowd — at least when I've been there and Travis Dakin hasn't been. :P

I keed, I keed.

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#9 quicksilver ballet
December 28 2009, 04:07PM
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I can still come here and be an Oilers athletic supporter and not be embarassed?

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#10 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 04:09PM
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quicksilver ballet wrote:

I can still come here and be an Oilers athletic supporter and not be embarassed?

Cheering is for losers. Apparently true Oilers fans want the Flames to win tonight.

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#11 jeanshorts
December 28 2009, 04:10PM
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I'm two beers deep right now, and Dakin has been at the Pint since about noon. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say tonight is going to get a little out of hand.

Travis I'll be there in about 20 minutes. I'M COMING BABY!

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#12 bingofuel
December 28 2009, 04:11PM
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Also, everyone, you need to check out the video of Dion Phadouche singing journey that Robin added to this post.

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#13 Travis Dakin
December 28 2009, 04:11PM
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I'm here right now and the burger I just ate was fantastic and the decor is totally "cheers" and sports. I'm digging it. The crowd looks good. We will see how it is at game time though when me and Jeanshorts are many drinks in.....

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#14 bingofuel
December 28 2009, 04:11PM
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and by singing, I meant shouting.

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#15 quicksilver ballet
December 28 2009, 04:12PM
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The Phangoof video......isn't that the going rate for entry into a party you're not invited to.

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#16 Hoodlum
December 28 2009, 04:18PM
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Come on jeanshorts, I'm sitting here with Dakin and we're turning this classy joint into a dive. Well at least Dakin is

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#17 Jodes
December 28 2009, 04:19PM
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Well one of these days I'll have to come in and check out the place. I just hope the service there is better then say Ceili's or O'Bryne's.

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#18 jeanshorts
December 28 2009, 04:24PM
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Hoodlum wrote:

Come on jeanshorts, I'm sitting here with Dakin and we're turning this classy joint into a dive. Well at least Dakin is

Christmas was a little hard on the ol wallet, so I'm trying to squeeze every dime. We're leaving now.

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#19 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 04:26PM
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Eberle with a goal and 3 assists in today's game against the Swiss.

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#20 SirFozz
December 28 2009, 04:28PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Eberle with a goal and 3 assists in today's game against the Swiss.

Goal and FOUR assists. Yay Eberle!

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#21 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 04:28PM
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SirFozz wrote:

Goal and FOUR assists. Yay Eberle!

Well I'll be damned, it is four assists! Sweet sassy mo-lassey!

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#22 dragon
December 28 2009, 04:29PM
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re: lines

the way they play, Cogs and Horc should definitely switch places.

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#23 Travis Dakin
December 28 2009, 04:30PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Christmas was a little hard on the ol wallet, so I'm trying to squeeze every dime. We're leaving now.

Late Christmas present: Its happy hour!!!!!!!

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#24 GSC
December 28 2009, 04:30PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

Well I'll be damned, it is four assists! Sweet sassy mo-lassey!

Happy Go-Jacky!

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#25 quicksilver ballet
December 28 2009, 04:38PM
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Nothing personal sir...

I've seen better beer league games than the first two Team Canada junior games....how they can pass that off as competition/entertainment on this world stage is beyond me, unless you're into the feeding the Christians to the Lions scenario it's a farce.

Womens hockey is yet an even further stretch.

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#26 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 04:43PM
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@quicksilver ballet

What's your issue with it, specifically?

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#27 RossCreekNation
December 28 2009, 05:09PM
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bingofuel wrote:

Also, everyone, you need to check out the video of Dion Phadouche singing journey that Robin added to this post.

I've got another video of Dion (with drink in hand) singing a different tune (Piano Man) in last nights postgame...

http://flamesnation.ca/2009/12/27/122709-flames-v-canucks-postgame-better-wash-the-sheets

He even drops an F bomb ("Merry F*ckin Christmas!") at the end.

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#28 Robin Brownlee
December 28 2009, 05:23PM
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RossCreekNation wrote:

I've got another video of Dion (with drink in hand) singing a different tune (Piano Man) in last nights postgame...

http://flamesnation.ca/2009/12/27/122709-flames-v-canucks-postgame-better-wash-the-sheets

He even drops an F bomb ("Merry F*ckin Christmas!") at the end.

I'm wondering if that's the video we were talking about at the rink this morning. As lame as the Journey video is, I can see why Dion wouldn't want to talk about getting sh*tfaced and gracing us with Piano Man.

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#29 Giggsunited
December 28 2009, 05:26PM
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RossCreekNation wrote:

I've got another video of Dion (with drink in hand) singing a different tune (Piano Man) in last nights postgame...

http://flamesnation.ca/2009/12/27/122709-flames-v-canucks-postgame-better-wash-the-sheets

He even drops an F bomb ("Merry F*ckin Christmas!") at the end.

haha, just hammered

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#30 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 05:28PM
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"We're acquiring a defenseman who's going to solidify our group," Columbus GM Scott Howson said. "Chris Clark's been a captain there. It's not very often that you get to acquire a captain. So he'll bring a veteran, leadership presence to our team which will be very beneficial to our group."

Isn't that depressing? Who still buys the "It's tough to make a trade in today's NHL" line?

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#31 Matt Henderson
December 28 2009, 05:30PM
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5-for-43 without Hemsky on the PP?! I hope that people remember this when the annual BlameHemskyForNotBeingOvechkin-O-Thon begins in the spring.

Eberle with a great game again. At least I have something to look forward to.

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#32 Smokin' Ray
December 28 2009, 05:38PM
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GAME DAY!!!

Screw you fLames!

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#33 Smokin' Ray
December 28 2009, 05:39PM
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Oh... and Need New Captain

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#34 Jodes
December 28 2009, 05:47PM
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So if I was going to go to the Pint in a few days to maybe check out the Maple Laffs game, how would I find Oiler Nation?

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#35 Smokin' Ray
December 28 2009, 05:51PM
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Jodes wrote:

So if I was going to go to the Pint in a few days to maybe check out the Maple Laffs game, how would I find Oiler Nation?

I'm going to guess you should yell out, "I LOVE OILERSNATION!", when you walk in the front door.

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#36 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
December 28 2009, 05:54PM
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Jodes wrote:

So if I was going to go to the Pint in a few days to maybe check out the Maple Laffs game, how would I find Oiler Nation?

look for the guy wearing only skid marked tightie whities and a mustard stained white muscle shirt, drinking Pil by himself in the corner.

that would be bingofuel :p

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#37 quicksilver ballet
December 28 2009, 06:01PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

What's your issue with it, specifically?

16-0 yesterday and what was it today....10-0?

Our best against their best, how they can pass that off as world class competition/entertainment is beyond me....same poop different year.

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#38 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 06:06PM
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quicksilver ballet wrote:

16-0 yesterday and what was it today....10-0?

Our best against their best, how they can pass that off as world class competition/entertainment is beyond me....same poop different year.

What's your solution when the Oilers play the Caps, then? Do you just chalk up a W for the Caps and save both teams from a few hours' skating?

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#39 cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan
December 28 2009, 06:15PM
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Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things wrote:

What's your solution when the Oilers play the Caps, then? Do you just chalk up a W for the Caps and save both teams from a few hours' skating?

no, but the game can be played without the hours upon hours of mind numbing hype surrounding a series of games played by teenagers.

i dont wish bodily harm on many people, but if i saw pierre mcquire crossing the street i would not hesitate to step on the gas...

wham-o!!!!!

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#40 Jodes
December 28 2009, 06:21PM
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@cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan

Where I'm from you've just described every Roughriders fan out there lol..

I guess I'll just look for the Oilers jerseys, or if things get any worse, the paper bags. lol

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#41 bingofuel
December 28 2009, 06:26PM
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cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan wrote:

look for the guy wearing only skid marked tightie whities and a mustard stained white muscle shirt, drinking Pil by himself in the corner.

that would be bingofuel :p

Pffft... To wear a muscle shirt, one must possess muscles.

You're WAAAAAAY off, cableguy.

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#42 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 28 2009, 06:28PM
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cableguy - 2nd Tier Fan wrote:

no, but the game can be played without the hours upon hours of mind numbing hype surrounding a series of games played by teenagers.

i dont wish bodily harm on many people, but if i saw pierre mcquire crossing the street i would not hesitate to step on the gas...

wham-o!!!!!

I think you're downplaying it a little too much. These guys have the potential to be the elite of the elite in a few years.

TSN hypes it up way too much, we agree there.

If one of these guys turns out to be the next Messier, though, I'll appreciate the fact that I had the opportunity to watch them early in their career.

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#43 Harlie
December 28 2009, 07:03PM
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bingofuel wrote:

Pffft... To wear a muscle shirt, one must possess muscles.

You're WAAAAAAY off, cableguy.

K-Fed disagrees. No muscles are needed when wearing a muscle shirt.

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#44 Harlie
December 28 2009, 07:06PM
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I love to hate on the Dion but it looks like he would be fun to party with. And no matter how much bling the guy wears or how fat his wallet is I'd still stack my looks up against his anytime.

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#45 Shaun Doe
December 28 2009, 07:10PM
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Anyone have a quality feed to watch the game on. The ones I've found so far are le crap

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#46 Shaun Doe
December 28 2009, 07:20PM
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Well I found a feed now but I guess I missed everything. *combs hair over eyes and cuts self*

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#47 MattL
December 28 2009, 07:22PM
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Shaun Doe wrote:

Well I found a feed now but I guess I missed everything. *combs hair over eyes and cuts self*

do share! Feed, not angst.

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#48 dale
December 28 2009, 07:22PM
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@Shaun Doe

What is your feed?

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#49 Sandra
December 28 2009, 07:27PM
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It looks like Desjarlais will play well, he is not wearing the orange pads which give off lots of rebounds.

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#50 Shaun Doe
December 28 2009, 07:28PM
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http://richsportslivestreams.webs.com/rbsportsmafia.htm

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