NationDraft Update: Two Weeks!

The Towel Boy
December 03 2009 11:07AM

 

I was looking at my naked girl wall calendar this morning, marveling how awesomely December it is, when I noticed a couple things:  

1.  My birthday falls on a Sunday this year (lame).

2.  I bet that's not her real hair colour. 

3.  I haven't done a Team 1260 NationDraft update in TWOooo WEEeeeKS!!

What in jumping sweet banana bread is going here!?  What kind of ship am I running?!  Where's my pants!?! What the hell is "jumping sweet banana bread"??!

These were all questions I asked myself as I stared at the calendar.  It was then that I realized I needed to roll up my sleeves and get down and busy churning out another Pulitzer Prize(tm) winning edition of the Team 1260 NationDraft Update.  

The masses demand to know where they stand in the draft!  Trust me, I know how important this is to all of you.  I have received countless threats against my life over the past three days wondering where the hell the draft update is.  I'm looking at you bingofuel, if that even is your real name.  *shakes fist*

Well, the wait is over my friends.  Below you will find the most stunning, awe inspiring and comprehensive Team 1260 NationDraft update ever.*  BEHOLD!!!

Team 1260 NationDraft Update, as of Dec 2/09:

What a difference two weeks makes.  Last time we checked "Sage11" was sitting pretty all by him/her-self in first place. Now looky what we have here:

The Top Ten:

1. Carlo Gambino 366 0
2. Sage11 366 0
3. Wiltonclan 365 -1
4. Tony Tanti's 364 -2
5. Tequila Party Gnomes 364 -2
6. The Slippery Petes 360 -6
7. Geaner 360 -6
8. Dude 360 -6
9. Meadows Men 360 -6
10. Flaming Nots 360 -6

That's right! Mr. Thrid Place two weeks ago is Mr. First Place this week!  "Carlo Gambino", with the stunning comeback, is tied in first place with "Sage11".  Nice work CG, nice work.

Now, for a little bit if self gratitude, here's how the Oilersnation.com crew is doing (except for Willis and Amber cuz I guess they're too good to have draft teams or something):

66. Robin Brownlee 351 -15
334. Jason Gregor 332 -34
540. Towel Boy Vs. Mothra 320 -46
729. The Pacinos 302 -64
779. Bonsignore Citizens Brigade 297 -69
843. Lord Wanye's Steeds 285 -81

Honorable Mention:

140. The Jagr Metric 345 -21

Somehow this team name sounds like a cross between some indie rock band and a Tom Clancy novel. 

289. Stimulous Package 335 -31

That's what SHE said!  *crickets*

512. winged assassins 322 -44

Not only are assassins deadly in their own right, but slap a pair of wings on one and you've got yourself a heartless killing machine...that can fly.  Who wouldn't want that?

557. Hemsky to Horcoff to Crest 319 -47

Yeah, let's make fun of the injured Hemsky.  Real funny.  ..oh, it was about Horcoff?   Ohhhh...HAHAHAHA.

Who's Hot?

Well, I plugged in some numbers and decimal points into I'm A Scientist's super computer and it told me that not only did I get the high score in "Load Runner" this week, but here's some players in the draft that are doin'not too bad:

Jarome Iginla - He had a stellar November.  STELLAR!

Joe Thornton - Mr. Assist is rolling again.  9 pts in the last five, 8 of them assists.

Sidney Crosby -  Coming on strong now.  7G, 4A over the last five games.  Look out!


 
Well, I hope you enjoyed this edition of the Team 1260 NationDraft update.  Please, tell the world how your team is doing in the comments section.  I bet you're not better than me.**
 
Yours truly,
 
Minister Towel Boy
 

*pretty much the same as last time, and the time before that...and that other time.

** If you have less than 320 points. 

 
 This message was written in accordance with the guidelines and rules set forth in the Charter of The Ministry of Drafts and is approved by the Minister of Draft.

 

56616bc412a09c53607f8b0162de222b
Longtime friend of The Nation. Lover of animals, hater of the Calgary Flames. I mostly lurk in the shadows around here. Follow me on Twitter, if you dare: @TheTowelBoy
Avatar
#1 Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things
December 03 2009, 11:20AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

294. Team Discovery Channel 335 -31

225. RossCreek Renegades 338 -28

Looks like I'm catching up to my arch nemesis, RossCreek.

Watch yo' back, RossCreek.

Avatar
#2 I'm a Scientist!
December 03 2009, 11:24AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

*glares at the Super Computer across The Lab like Mrs. Tiger Woods glares at Mistress #3, then turns and walks away grumbling something about tainted technology and computer viruses*

HOW did you crack my password???

Currently hiding in the reeds at position # 769. Brutal.

Avatar
#3 Dan the Man
December 03 2009, 11:31AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

That clip was pure video awesomeness, it had it all. Great acting, great special effects, catchy tag lines, exploding heads AND Arnold Schwarzenagger dressed as a women

Avatar
#4 SportsDad
December 03 2009, 11:33AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wooo Top 400! # 397 *struts his stuff in his office cubicle*

There must be a bazillion people in this draft and I am top 400...my weekend is better already :)

Avatar
#5 SirFozz
December 03 2009, 11:34AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

326...Suck on that 327 and below!!

Avatar
#6 Ogden Brother
December 03 2009, 11:39AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers
SirFozz wrote:

326...Suck on that 327 and below!!

*Sucks on it*

Avatar
#7 Amber McCormick
December 03 2009, 11:41AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Yes TB, Willis and I are too good for your predicting future, voodoo-like ballyhoo.

Also, I'm terrible at drafts (unless I'm drinking them). Trying to predict the outcome of the NHL makes as much sense to me as a shy stripper.

Avatar
#9 Dan the Man
December 03 2009, 12:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers
Amber McCormick wrote:

Yes TB, Willis and I are too good for your predicting future, voodoo-like ballyhoo.

Also, I'm terrible at drafts (unless I'm drinking them). Trying to predict the outcome of the NHL makes as much sense to me as a shy stripper.

I'm pretty shy and I've been known to take my clothes off in front of people.

Avatar
#10 SquidRx
December 03 2009, 12:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Falling faster than Tiger Woods approval ratings.

791! Doh!

Avatar
#11 DK0
December 03 2009, 12:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@The Towel Boy

Hate to ruin my street cred but the game was actually called "Lode Runner". haha... street cred...

Avatar
#13 Guy Flaming
December 03 2009, 02:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Perfect 10... that's me.

Gregor will recall my near-last place finish in the Just A Game AHL playoff pool during the lockout year.

With that in mind, I'm happy to gloat while I still can!

Guy Flaming... The Pipeline Show... TEAM 1260

:-)

Avatar
#14 I'm a Scientist!
December 03 2009, 03:03PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@Guy Flaming

I tied for first in the NHL pool the year of the lock out...Those were the glory days!

Avatar
#16 Skidplate
December 03 2009, 05:24PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

496. Skidplate 323 -43

Avatar
#17 RossCreekNation
December 03 2009, 08:22PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@Oil Kings 'n' Pretty Things

;-)

Avatar
#19 Pajamah
December 04 2009, 08:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers
The Towel Boy wrote:

Don't tease us like that...stop "clicking on this site" right now. Please.

Corey Worn?

Chris Wand?

I can't figure out who that is!!

Comments are closed for this article.