FMNF

Wanye
February 10 2009 10:25AM

cartoon0031

We almost died laughing when we ran into an office here at NationHQ and told everyone in a really excited voice "Kevin Lowe just fired a Head Coach under his direction" and watched their eyes light up with glee and later dislodge from their sockets when they read that it was Jeff Truitt not MacT. That's gold. Fire Jeff Truitt whoever the hell pulled the trigger on that deal. Well done. *shakes head*

Mr Gretz is in the building -- Swagger on a hundred thousand trillion.

If we had a sports radio in good old E-Town right now it would be called "Swearing and Punching with Wanye Gretz." Don't get us wrong -- we love the citizens of the Nation who call in to the sports shows to talk shop. But if we had every other dink and his dog calling in with brilliant insights like "It’s time to fire Craig MacTavish" we would put our fist through the face of the first person we could find. Because we would never EVER have a co-host in this fictional radio scenario, the first person we would most likely see is ourselves. So now not only are we listening to the most obvious crap day in and day out but we are also punching ourselves in the face on an hourly basis thanks to this level of dumb-dumbery. What a great show that would be.

Yeah, we get it.

MacTavish needs to go.

Chris Brown probably shouldn't have taken that limo ride with Rhianna this weekend either.

Tell us something that we don't know.

Anyone with functioning eyeballs and any remaining neurons firing in their brain matter can see that MacT needs to hit the dusty trail. It’s clear to all involved except (incredibly) those who actually have “make Oilers good” in their job description. Other than those clowns, every single Oilers fan knows this team smells worse than Keith Richards after a bender. And still our boy Gregor gets 965 calls per show from guys saying "You know Gregor, as a night watchman at a ball bearing factory for over 40 years I can tell you that I know how to respond to back breaking pressure. This clown MacT has no idea what he is doing and can’t take the heat." And though this is the eleventh call in a row offering up the exact same point, Gregor has the patience of a Jedi and acts as though it is the first time he has had this brilliant insight brought to his attention.

Not us though.

Next person who tells us that MacT needs to be fired is going to get a patented Wanye Gretz roundhouse kick to the grill. We get it. Everyone knows. You know, we know, the night watchman at a ball bearing factory knows. Let's just say it goes without saying that MacT needs to go at this stage of the ol' shiteroo.

FMNF

From now on we are going to start all of our comments/articles/facebook posts/twitter posts/sky writing commentary with “FMNF.” This stands for “Fire MacT Now Fuckers.” By starting all of our commentary with that simple acronym, we will make it evident to all involved that we are strongly in the camp of walking into the offices of everyone who is supposed to be in charge of this heartless hockey squadron and handing them a pink slip. Everyone except for Tambellini – who is the new guy – and Kevin Lowe.

We can already see the comments:

Commenter: FMNF – But Wanye – Kevin Lowe is histories greatest monster. For example (insert example here)

To this we would reply as follows:

Wanye Gretz: FMNF – You know you have a valid point about Kevin Lowe wearing a suit made of suck lately. But colour us crazy when we point out that K-Lowe is the first draft ever of the Edmonton Oilers and has won six Cup rings. He has been Team Captain of the Oil, did something or other for the Olympic Team, was felled by an inner ear disorder and later became Coach. He is a pillar of the community in this City when he could be living pretty much anywhere by now and there isn’t a soul on earth that deserves the job more as President of Hockey something-something of the Oilers than K-Lowe.

But the curly haired one? Hit the bricks. We all get it now.

FMNF will save us all precious keystrokes without letting MacT off the hook. Think of all the stuff we can talk about with all of this new free time. We could discuss things that have been largely ignored.

For example try this one on for size:

The Oil are screwed. They should really think about firing the coach. Oh yeah, if Erik Cole gets traded and the Oil miss the playoffs, the Oilers will no longer be our favourite sports team owned by Daryl Katz anymore. The unnamed quasi-semi-pro local baseball squadron will take that prize.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 socaldave
February 10 2009, 10:52AM
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jdrevenge wrote:

TSN.ca… How many times can you say labrum in a press release….

FMNF - better to have a torn labrum than a torn labia. That's just no fun for anyone. Worse than sand in the vagina, which I understand afflicts many lamer and casuck fans. I'm just sayin'!

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#2 The Towel Boy
February 10 2009, 11:08AM
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FMNF - So imagine yourself as Chris Brown. You've got Money, Cars, Mansions and a Smokin' Hot Lady Friend...who also has money, cars and mansions. For whatever reason you decide that this life you've carved out for yourself sucks, and think..."gee...you know what? ..I don't think Rhianna has seen the drywall up close." BAMB. Now you're in hot water. ...and for what?!?...cuz you got bored with your kickass life? Celebreties are lame. Anyways...who saw this coming?!?

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#3 jdrevenge
February 10 2009, 10:30AM
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TSN.ca... How many times can you say labrum in a press release.... .

Less than a week after being placed on the injured list, Edmonton Oilers defenceman Lubomir Visnovsky's season is over due to an upcoming surgery on his injured labrum. The 32-year old will have surgery on his injured right labrum on Thursday. The procedure will be performed by Dr. Robert Balyk in Edmonton. Visnovsky hurt his labrum last Tuesday in the third period of Edmonton's 3-1 home ice loss to the Chicago Blackhawks. Visnovsky had eight goals and 23 assists in 50 games this season.

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#4 I Am The Law
February 10 2009, 10:36AM
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FMNF - I think that picture accurately represents this season. Pure gold.

The Habs are stumbling, though, so I have hopes for tomorrow. Of course, we're wearing the Third Jerseys. This is gonna be a battle of...well...I dunno, but it'll be some sort of battle of lame proportions.

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#5 MarcAndre Pooalot
February 10 2009, 10:38AM
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Wayne Gretz wrote:

Chris Brown probably shouldn’t have taken that limo ride with Rhianna this weekend either.

Now THIS is interesting. What happened in the limo?

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#6 I Am The Law
February 10 2009, 10:40AM
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jdrevenge wrote:

Less than a week after being placed on the injured list, Edmonton Oilers defenceman Lubomir Visnovsky’s season is over due to an upcoming surgery on his injured labrum.

Just looked up what "labrum" was on Wikipedia. Hip socket issues. Any of the more-educated minds out there know how tough hip problems are to come back from?

In any case, while I maintain I have some hopes for tomorrow, with Visnovsky out, I'm losing hope for this season...But I still support the Vish for Greene/Stoll trade.

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#7 Wanye Gretz
February 10 2009, 10:41AM
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MarcAndre Pooalot wrote:

Wayne Gretz wrote: Chris Brown probably shouldn’t have taken that limo ride with Rhianna this weekend either. Now THIS is interesting. What happened in the limo?

WHAT?? Really??

http://www.theinsider.com/news/1651918_Chris_Brown_Arrested_for_Domestic_Battery_on_Rihanna

FMNF

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#8 MarcAndre Pooalot
February 10 2009, 10:44AM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Oh. Damn.

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#9 jdrevenge
February 10 2009, 10:50AM
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ya and if you thought that was interesting... Just found this little doozy when googlin for rhianna chris brown. I LOL'd so hard my hat fell off.

http://uk.reuters.com/news/video?videoId=94348&videoChannel=2603&refresh=true

More to the point love the cartoon!!! Was that published in a paper or exclusively for ON?

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#10 Travis Dakin
February 10 2009, 10:53AM
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FMNF- Roesch is a comedic genius. That is some clever ass sh*t.

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#11 jayoilfan
February 10 2009, 10:54AM
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I am the Law, I think you looked up the wrong labrum. Visnovsky hurt his shoulder and when one types "labrum" into wiki, you get several returns, two of which are 'glenoid labrum' (part of the scapula) and the other 'acetabular labrum' (part of the hip joint). The scapula is the shoulder blade.

regardless, this sucks as Visnovsky has been one of the better Oilers this year.

I am really curoius what will happen the next few weeks and whether the Oilers becomse seller or buyers come the March trade deadline.

Go Oilers GO!!!

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#12 jdrevenge
February 10 2009, 10:55AM
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socaldave wrote:

jdrevenge wrote: TSN.ca… How many times can you say labrum in a press release…. FMNF - better to have a torn labrum than a torn labia. That’s just no fun for anyone. Worse than sand in the vagina, which I understand afflicts many lamer and casuck fans. I’m just sayin’!

Sandy vag sucks for sure.

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#13 Travis Dakin
February 10 2009, 10:56AM
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jayoilfan wrote:

am really curoius what will happen the next few weeks and whether the Oilers becomse seller or buyers come the March trade deadline.

FMNF Please let them became sellers! It's the right thing to do.

@ Wanye Gretz: You're still alive!

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#14 Knobby Workoutski
February 10 2009, 10:56AM
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I was on my way to the Acme ball-bearing factory today, thinking about how much better the Oil would be if they would just fire Mactavish...did I mention I have worked there for 40 yrs... Kevin Lowe won't take my calls. KLowes accomplishments are a little dog-eared. Other than being part of the Olympic posse he hasn't pissed a drop in at least 20+ yrs. Fire the bastard.

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#15 Chaz
February 10 2009, 11:01AM
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I just tore my Labrum laughing at that picture.

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#16 Ssseth
February 10 2009, 11:02AM
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FMNF

That is all.

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#17 Chaz
February 10 2009, 11:05AM
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By the way, I want odds on a "Fire Mac T" chant at Rexall the next time the Oilers are down in a game. My money says the next time they're down by 4 goals, the chant will come. Any takers?

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#18 OvenChicken8
February 10 2009, 11:06AM
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-FMNF- It's kind of catchy, now say it 3 times fast...

I tried it, kind of a tongue twister.

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#19 Deep Oil
February 10 2009, 11:07AM
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MarcAndre Pooalot wrote:

Wayne Gretz wrote: Chris Brown probably shouldn’t have taken that limo ride with Rhianna this weekend either. Now THIS is interesting. What happened in the limo?

Bitch slapped her like SEMIN

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#20 TonyT
February 10 2009, 11:10AM
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FMNF - IF the Oilers do get rid of MacT, besides the obvious Quinn, Torterella, Nolan, and Hartley, who else will be available this summer (based on projected standings? Or in other words who else getting the pink slim that would possibly be a good fit?

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#21 bingofuel
February 10 2009, 11:11AM
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@ jdrevenge: FMNF -- Exclusive to the Nation, my man.

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#22 TonyT
February 10 2009, 11:11AM
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sorry my grammar sucked - typing too fast

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#23 bdubya
February 10 2009, 11:21AM
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David Staples over at cult of hockey just posted that a source says the Oilers are close to signing Jagr.

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#24 Daveee
February 10 2009, 11:22AM
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@ I Am The Law: Actually the labrum is located in the shoulder.

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#25 BUCK75
February 10 2009, 11:22AM
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Great - another acronym

Signed, people who STILL don't know what GDB means yet.

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#26 doggie-style D
February 10 2009, 11:26AM
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@ Chaz: I say down only 3 goals before the chant we all want to hear.

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#27 bingofuel
February 10 2009, 11:27AM
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BUCK75 wrote:

Great - another acronym Signed, people who STILL don’t know what GDB means yet.

GDB == Game Day, Bitches. See the first GDB for l'understangingue. We eventually changed it to GDB because of the swearing. And we change Time to Day because we always forget what we've written in the past.

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#28 BUCK75
February 10 2009, 11:27AM
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Very catchy - much in the lines of shitanusly™

*puts quarter in envelope & mails collect to Wanye @ OilersNation world HQ*

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#29 The Towel Boy
February 10 2009, 11:28AM
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BUCK75 wrote:

Great - another acronym Signed, people who STILL don’t know what GDB means yet.

I think it means Game Day Blog.

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#30 The Towel Boy
February 10 2009, 11:28AM
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@ The Towel Boy:

...lol..or bitches. never thought of that.

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#31 bingofuel
February 10 2009, 11:28AM
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@ bdubya: The link to the Jagr story is here.

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#32 Colin
February 10 2009, 11:29AM
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@ TonyT:

The Pittsburgh guy, can't remember his name though, with his squad no excuses for not being 4th or better.

FMNF!

@Wanye:

You're not dead!

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#33 David S
February 10 2009, 11:29AM
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You know that with this FMNF moratorium you've just reduced your GDB comment counts by about 2/3, right?

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#34 bobchamp
February 10 2009, 11:30AM
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@jdrevenge

FMNF

There's actually labrums in two places, the hip-joint like you said and the scapula (shoulder blade). So it could be either on his hip or shoulder. I guess it must be one of the NHL's new upper/lower body injuries.

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#35 BUCK75
February 10 2009, 11:31AM
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@ bingofuel:

I know what it means- the newb's have asked occassionally. Can hardly wait for some guy to come on here & ask "why does everyone start their post off with FMNF?"

Pretty soon you guys will need a glossary or decoder ring to read posts :D

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#36 The Towel Boy
February 10 2009, 11:33AM
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RE: Possibility of Jagr to Edmonton.

WTF?!? Didn't see that coming.

I'll believe it when I see it.

Oh, and with Vish out for the remainder of the season...does our cap still carry his salary? or part of it? or what? Anyone?

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#37 TonyT
February 10 2009, 11:34AM
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@bdubya Gregor addressed this rumor yesterday, however he stated he would have to go through waivers. Can anyone explain that to me?

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#38 OvenChicken8
February 10 2009, 11:37AM
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@ The Towel Boy: If/when he's placed on LTIR it won't cost against the cap.

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#39 The Towel Boy
February 10 2009, 11:39AM
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@ OvenChicken8:

FMNF - Thx mate.

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#40 CurtisS
February 10 2009, 11:41AM
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I could see a team picking him up on waivers for sure. A team like Pittsburg that has priority over us.

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#41 Gord
February 10 2009, 11:42AM
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TonyT wrote:

@bdubya Gregor addressed this rumor yesterday, however he stated he would have to go through waivers. Can anyone explain that to me?

That would be the same situation that Dubliwitz just went through when the NYI signed him but Columbus claimed him off waivers.

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#42 APE
February 10 2009, 11:43AM
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WTF is FMNF? LUBO injury FTMFL!!

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#43 cambosmash
February 10 2009, 11:45AM
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@ The Towel Boy:

If Vis goes on LTIR we can replace him with someone of equal salary value for the remainder of the season. That's what Philly did with Briere and that's why they're $10M over the cap right now and cut him open for no reason (they needed time to dump salary and get back under the cap).

What I learned from Gregor's last chat with the Oilers capologist: LTIR is not different than IR, except that you get injury replacement money if they're on LTIR. So what's the benefit of IR? Never figured that one out.

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#44 cambosmash
February 10 2009, 11:46AM
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Oh, and FMNF.

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#45 shakey
February 10 2009, 11:47AM
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I think it's the same shoulder injury that Moreau had a couple seasons back. A buddy of mine had this and had surgery and was out of service for a couple months and needed lots of physio after. I can't imagine getting back to normal everyday life is the same as getting into 'game shape' so he most likely is done for the year.

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#46 Thorn
February 10 2009, 11:47AM
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No Lubo?! Did we just become a seller? I wonder what kind of return we would even get for anybody. All the buyers out there won't be willing to give up anybody of any consequence. Are we going to trade Cole for a prospect or 2? Maybe a pick? Maybe try package some of these guys up with a couple picks and throw in the kitchen sink to get Kovalchuk? I DO NOT envy Tambo that's for sure! **tick tick tick**

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#47 I Am The Law
February 10 2009, 11:49AM
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@ jayoilfan:

Thanks for the correction! My bad!

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#48 Hoodlum
February 10 2009, 11:51AM
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FMNF, I think we should give Chris Brown a contract, because he knows how to finsh his hits

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#49 Greg MC
February 10 2009, 11:54AM
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Wanye has been released from custody!

FMNF.

KLowe has to go also. He is not the one to lead us to the next level.

As an alternative, Rexall could provide every ticket or PPV purchaser with Oxycontin or Ativan.

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#50 Colin
February 10 2009, 11:54AM
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cambosmash wrote:

@ The Towel Boy: If Vis goes on LTIR we can replace him with someone of equal salary value for the remainder of the season.

That's the bit I didn't know and why it didn't make sense to me.

With that resolved I could see Jagr here, he has said before that he would like to play with Hemsky.

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