February 10 2009 10:25AM
We almost died laughing when we ran into an office here at NationHQ and told everyone in a really excited voice "Kevin Lowe just fired a Head Coach under his direction" and watched their eyes light up with glee and later dislodge from their sockets when they read that it was Jeff Truitt not MacT. That's gold. Fire Jeff Truitt whoever the hell pulled the trigger on that deal. Well done. *shakes head*
Mr Gretz is in the building -- Swagger on a hundred thousand trillion.
If we had a sports radio in good old E-Town right now it would be called "Swearing and Punching with Wanye Gretz." Don't get us wrong -- we love the citizens of the Nation who call in to the sports shows to talk shop. But if we had every other dink and his dog calling in with brilliant insights like "It’s time to fire Craig MacTavish" we would put our fist through the face of the first person we could find. Because we would never EVER have a co-host in this fictional radio scenario, the first person we would most likely see is ourselves. So now not only are we listening to the most obvious crap day in and day out but we are also punching ourselves in the face on an hourly basis thanks to this level of dumb-dumbery. What a great show that would be.
Yeah, we get it.
MacTavish needs to go.
Chris Brown probably shouldn't have taken that limo ride with Rhianna this weekend either.
Tell us something that we don't know.
Anyone with functioning eyeballs and any remaining neurons firing in their brain matter can see that MacT needs to hit the dusty trail. It’s clear to all involved except (incredibly) those who actually have “make Oilers good” in their job description. Other than those clowns, every single Oilers fan knows this team smells worse than Keith Richards after a bender. And still our boy Gregor gets 965 calls per show from guys saying "You know Gregor, as a night watchman at a ball bearing factory for over 40 years I can tell you that I know how to respond to back breaking pressure. This clown MacT has no idea what he is doing and can’t take the heat." And though this is the eleventh call in a row offering up the exact same point, Gregor has the patience of a Jedi and acts as though it is the first time he has had this brilliant insight brought to his attention.
Not us though.
Next person who tells us that MacT needs to be fired is going to get a patented Wanye Gretz roundhouse kick to the grill. We get it. Everyone knows. You know, we know, the night watchman at a ball bearing factory knows. Let's just say it goes without saying that MacT needs to go at this stage of the ol' shiteroo.
From now on we are going to start all of our comments/articles/facebook posts/twitter posts/sky writing commentary with “FMNF.” This stands for “Fire MacT Now Fuckers.” By starting all of our commentary with that simple acronym, we will make it evident to all involved that we are strongly in the camp of walking into the offices of everyone who is supposed to be in charge of this heartless hockey squadron and handing them a pink slip. Everyone except for Tambellini – who is the new guy – and Kevin Lowe.
We can already see the comments:
Commenter: FMNF – But Wanye – Kevin Lowe is histories greatest monster. For example (insert example here)
To this we would reply as follows:
Wanye Gretz: FMNF – You know you have a valid point about Kevin Lowe wearing a suit made of suck lately. But colour us crazy when we point out that K-Lowe is the first draft ever of the Edmonton Oilers and has won six Cup rings. He has been Team Captain of the Oil, did something or other for the Olympic Team, was felled by an inner ear disorder and later became Coach. He is a pillar of the community in this City when he could be living pretty much anywhere by now and there isn’t a soul on earth that deserves the job more as President of Hockey something-something of the Oilers than K-Lowe.
But the curly haired one? Hit the bricks. We all get it now.
FMNF will save us all precious keystrokes without letting MacT off the hook. Think of all the stuff we can talk about with all of this new free time. We could discuss things that have been largely ignored.
For example try this one on for size:
The Oil are screwed. They should really think about firing the coach. Oh yeah, if Erik Cole gets traded and the Oil miss the playoffs, the Oilers will no longer be our favourite sports team owned by Daryl Katz anymore. The unnamed quasi-semi-pro local baseball squadron will take that prize.