That just happened

Wanye
February 12 2009 11:45AM

winningrainbow3

“A picture says a thousand words, but in this case it’s probably worth about two hundred” – A buddy who just reviewed our second cartoon in as many days.

Well, when you lose 42 per cent of the time you also win 58 per cent of the time and the Oil showed us that is the case with a good old fashioned le whipping of Les Canadiens last night. Much to the dismay of the thousands of Habs fans who collectively leaned on the OilersNation for tickets to the game as they do every year, that version of the Oil came out firing, scoring, hitting, winning and smiling. We were so happy to see that Oilers squadron show up. We all know that version of the Oilers – the team that shows up for about 15 or 20 games a year.

That Oilers team doesn’t need to fire anyone. That Oilers team has seven players on pace for an 82-goal season. That Oilers squad would beat the other Oilers squad 815-2 if they could somehow play themselves in a regular season game in some alternate dimension. That Oilers squad doesn’t need Jaromir Jagr, Vincent Lecavalier or anyone except someone to open the bench gate and yell “go get 'em, you Stanley Cup Champions!”

That Oilers team makes liars out of every rational Oilers fan who predicted that the Oil would not win against the Canadiens and makes irrational believers of any self respecting Oilers fan who witnessed the game. That Oilers team sells thousands of Oilers themed keys such as the one we had made yesterday for the princely sum of $6:

oilerskey

That Oilers team inspires these types of novelty key purchases by the thousands. “Why would I want a normal key when there is an Oilers key to be purchased?” we ask ourselves on account of that team.

It’s almost worse for MacT and Company when that Oilers team shows up for work. They bitch slap the Eastern Conference All Star team, getting goals from everyone including the usher in Section 112. They seem to suggest that many of the pieces of the championship puzzle are already seated in the dressing room at RX1, if only someone knew how to assemble them properly on a night in and night out basis.

Losing Grebeshkov is certainly not going to help in the long run, but to that Oilers team it won’t matter in the least. That Oilers team could lose half of its players, be trailing 17-0 with seven minutes left and would still find a way to win. That Oilers team wins because they get 18 late goals including 2 goals in the last 4.7 seconds of the game forcing ten seperate cardiac events in the stands of RX1 in the third period alone.

In the words of the Immortal Towel Boy: Who saw this coming?

No one did. Screw you, good version of the Oilers.

FMNF

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Amber McCormick
February 12 2009, 11:45AM
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Is it strange that I just had a nerdgasm over the above photo?

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#2 Harry Merkin
February 12 2009, 11:52AM
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Your my hero Wanye. If only you could sweep as good as you write and draw.

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#3 RBK
February 12 2009, 11:56AM
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LOL

Are you a bird or something Wanye? What's with the wings?

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#4 MarcAndre Pooalot
February 12 2009, 12:01PM
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Yes, i admit it. When i predicted the score to be 2-1 Habs i was lying. What i meant was 7-2 oilers. I am dumb.

Nerdgasm sounds fun.

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#5 Easy-E
February 12 2009, 12:02PM
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Wanye, by far the best graphic posted to OilersNation to date.

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#6 TonyT
February 12 2009, 12:03PM
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too funny...FMNF

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#7 moo
February 12 2009, 12:10PM
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FMNF - You should ask your art school instructor for a refund.

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#8 Greg MC
February 12 2009, 12:21PM
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@ Amber McCormick: Any talk of gasms works for me!

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#9 Greg MC
February 12 2009, 12:22PM
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FMNF - Sorry...

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#10 Harlie Chuddy
February 12 2009, 12:31PM
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RBK wrote:

LOL Are you a bird or something Wanye? What’s with the wings?

REDdox makes you grow wings!

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#11 Harlie Chuddy
February 12 2009, 12:31PM
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Greg MC wrote:

@ Amber McCormick: Any talk of gasms works for me!

Keep em cummin, Amba!

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#12 The Towel Boy
February 12 2009, 01:06PM
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Sweet jesus - masterful artistry Wanye. My eyes are bleeding from the shear brilliance of your creation.

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#13 Chaz
February 12 2009, 01:09PM
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If I was a tennis player, I would have had a Bjorn Bourgasm looking at that cartoon....

FMNF

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#14 Deep Oil
February 12 2009, 01:34PM
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Did they put the fire out at Rexall or just let the baby burn..... just wondering.

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#15 baggedmilk
February 12 2009, 01:57PM
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It was amazingly sexy to be sitting amongst the Montreal fans as they sat and cried into their $10 beers. Sweet sweet victory.

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#16 Bruthah
February 12 2009, 02:14PM
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FMNF

Towel boy has his own blog?????? {GASP} Add that to bookmarks.

Last night was a grand time to watch the squadron on the frozen pitch. I think they used up all their lucky bounces for a few months.

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#17 BUCK75 - FMNF
February 12 2009, 02:14PM
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@ The Towel Boy:

ROFL...Awesometown - You should turn on your comments then I wouldn't have to post here.

It twas a very quiet & bitter car ride hom last night sharing space with 2 habs fans & 1 quazi-hab fan. The fact we were up 4-0 19 minutes into the first period was amazing. A nice Edmonotn silence came over the building.

Music is much improved since the last time - Ministry to start the 3rd period!

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#18 The Towel Boy
February 12 2009, 02:15PM
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@ baggedmilk:

There was a sweet shot of a habs fan at the end of the PPV broadcast...looking all torn up inside, like seriously visibily ill. He was just staring down to ice level in a self pitty trance...and then his buddy tapped him on the shoulder and he came out of it and they left.

t'was beautiful.

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#19 Milli
February 12 2009, 02:15PM
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Oh Ya, that A$$ Kicking makes my hangover feel so much better today!!!!!

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#20 The Towel Boy
February 12 2009, 02:19PM
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BUCK75 - FMNF wrote:

ROFL…Awesometown - You should turn on your comments then I wouldn’t have to post here.

Yeah...wth...they're on sometimes when I go there...and sometimes not...I'm gonna look into that a little deeper...

*runs off to the series of tubes that is the interweb*

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#21 Wanye Gretz
February 12 2009, 02:25PM
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RBK wrote:

LOL Are you a bird or something Wanye? What’s with the wings?

WINGS?? Those are muscles! Look at them all there. Note how MacT has none - it infers I am much stronger than he is.

FMNF

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#22 Wanye Gretz
February 12 2009, 02:26PM
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Deep Oil wrote:

Did they put the fire out at Rexall or just let the baby burn….. just wondering.

I was hoping you would tell me.

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#23 Ender the Dragon
February 12 2009, 02:51PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

That Oilers squad would beat the other Oilers squad 815-2 if they could somehow play themselves in a regular season game in some alternate dimension.

That's a goal every 4.4 seconds for the entire game. I'm thinking you're sending your goalie(s) home after the first period at that rate. I mean, if they've let in 272 straight goals off the faceoff, maybe you could just try to pile some slush in the crease for the rest of the game or something.

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#24 Wanye Gretz
February 12 2009, 02:54PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote:

Wanye Gretz wrote: That Oilers squad would beat the other Oilers squad 815-2 if they could somehow play themselves in a regular season game in some alternate dimension. That’s a goal every 4.4 seconds for the entire game. I’m thinking you’re sending your goalie(s) home after the first period at that rate. I mean, if they’ve let in 272 straight goals off the faceoff, maybe you could just try to pile some slush in the crease for the rest of the game or something.

I am impressed you took the time to calculate the rate at which goals are scored. I hereby grant you two tickets to the alternate dimension where this game is being played as compensation for your efforts.

Because of interdimensional time warp, the tickets will arrive 10 days ago. Go look in your mailbox.

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#25 Ender the Dragon
February 12 2009, 03:09PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Thanks for the tickets.. The game was great; I just got back. Liam Reddox got a hattrick - 8 times, actually. SMac is on pace for a 100 point season Grebs finished up with a -634 (odd; his ankle was fine over there . . .); so much for his +/- in blowout games. JDD committed suicide in the dressing room sometime during the second period; he left a note for MacT, something about how he didn't agree that this was good for his development . . .

By the way, if you attend any interdimensional games in the future, take a paper baggie; the travel takes some getting used to, kind of like Rexall beer . . .

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#26 Deep Oil
February 12 2009, 03:18PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Deep Oil wrote: Did they put the fire out at Rexall or just let the baby burn….. just wondering. I was hoping you would tell me.

Sorry I try to avoid the police (too many bad experiences), fire and but do use EMS for limo services when I have had too much to drink....

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#27 Deep Oil
February 12 2009, 03:21PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

It was amazingly sexy to be sitting amongst the Montreal fans as they sat and cried into their $10 beers. Sweet sweet victory.

Please note they will be $15 dollar beers in RX2 with profit and indexed inflation...... nice to see LES HABS take it on the chin - on their once every three years road trip..... now it's changed every other year.... Even though Penner picked up two points - he looked very out of place in front of the net - the anti Ryan Smyth.

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#28 caveman pacino
February 12 2009, 03:23PM
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THAT was a good blog. les canadians sont terribles...

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#29 Wanye Gretz
February 12 2009, 03:42PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote:

By the way, if you attend any interdimensional games in the future, take a paper baggie; the travel takes some getting used to, kind of like Rexall beer . . .

You do realize that interdimensional travel causes immediate sterility right? I probably should have told you that. It says it in the disclaimer on the back of the ticket but I bet you don't read that disclaimer do you.

DO YOU??

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#30 Ender the Dragon
February 12 2009, 03:56PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

You do realize that interdimensional travel causes immediate sterility right? I probably should have told you that. It says it in the disclaimer on the back of the ticket but I bet you don’t read that disclaimer do you.

I read it. It also stated that that you weren't responsible for any injuries sustained should the facility burn to the ground around me or should I accept an indecent proposal from Betty White, but I didn't believe either of those things would happen either . . .

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#31 baggedmilk
February 12 2009, 04:07PM
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RBK wrote:

LOL Are you a bird or something Wanye? What’s with the wings?

Believe me, I have seen the muscles and they are intimidating to say the least. Standing before Wanye Gretz can make any man tremble and cower in fear. Save for Robin Brownlee, a soul is a prerequisite to fear.

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#32 scorecoff hemmercules
February 12 2009, 04:10PM
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this thread is pure awesomeness. just when i thought this site couldnt get any better .

That Oilers squad doesn’t need Jaromir Jagr, Vincent Lecavalier or anyone except someone to open the bench gate and yell “go get ‘em, you Stanley Cup Champions!”

classic.

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#33 Wanye Gretz
February 12 2009, 04:30PM
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@ Ender the Dragon: In an alternate dimension where the opposite always occurs - is Betty White unattractive?

@ baggedmilk: Remember when you and I held up that liquor store? People trembled before us on that day, I can tell you that!

@ scorecoff hemmercules: Mille Grazie.

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#34 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
February 12 2009, 04:37PM
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@ Deep Oil:

At last, they’ve come for me. I feel their lives, their destinies spilling out before me. The denial of the one true path, played out on a world not their own, will end soon enough. Soon there will be four, glorious in awakening, struggling with the knowledge of their true selves. The pain of revelation bringing new clarity and in the midst of confusion, he will find her. Enemies brought together by impossible longing. Enemies now joined as one. The way forward at once unthinkable, yet inevitable.

Dont you agree?

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#35 Ender the Dragon
February 12 2009, 04:45PM
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@ Jack "FMNF" Bauer:

That would have been funnier if it was original; you forgot to add the reference:

— The Hybrid, Battlestar Galactica: Razor

The point stands, though; shouting homeless guy imagery still works for both.

@ Wanye Gretz:

You know, turns out Betty White is a lot more attractive in person, regardless of dimension; who'dve thunk it . . .

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#36 baggedmilk
February 12 2009, 04:50PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ baggedmilk: Remember when you and I held up that liquor store? People trembled before us on that day, I can tell you that!

If only the satisfaction of robbing that liquor store lasted. I know have a blood lust that cannot be quenched and find myself holding up random people in the street to feel the sweet sweet rush. I got fired from my job, my house is in shambles, I can sleep, can't eat, my lady left me and I seem to have lost my fish tank. Damn you for introducing me to the life, Wanye Gretz, damn you!

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#37 Travis Dakin - FMNF
February 12 2009, 06:16PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

It was amazingly sexy to be sitting amongst the Montreal fans as they sat and cried into their $10 beers. Sweet sweet victory.

FMNF - I was at that game last night! I just got back to town now. I was with a bunch of habs buddies that had paint on their faces... well until the end of the first they did.(for real)

I really couldn't believe how many Habs fans were there. How do they all get tickets and can someone tell me... When are they all going to realize that they are in Oil country? Seriously... Just because your family came from the east, doesn't mean you have to cher for teh Habs. Oh well that game was definately worth the nine hour round trip.

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#38 oilfan4life
February 12 2009, 06:24PM
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@ Ender the Dragon:

The point is not originality, its making fun of Deep Oil's wordy ramblings that ultimately, dont make any sense.

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#39 Travis Dakin - FMNF
February 12 2009, 06:40PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

I don't know if anybody pointed it out but I would like to commend you on accuracy of the rainbow colours. Well played.

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#40 Harlie Chuddy
February 12 2009, 07:03PM
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Travis Dakin - FMNF wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: I don’t know if anybody pointed it out but I would like to commend you on accuracy of the rainbow colours. Well played.

yes good job on the colors. You seem to have a firm grasp on the door stickers that grace the frontage of most Davey street restaurants in VanCity.

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#41 Colin
February 12 2009, 08:02PM
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I wish I had an optimus prime head.

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#42 Tyguy
February 12 2009, 08:31PM
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"That Oilers team could lose half of its players, be trailing 17-0 with seven minutes left and would still find a way to win."

Wise Wayne Gretz - from the preface of the book " Booking your interdimensional travel, with flair "

I'm thinking '80's clubs....

Long gone are the days of "...we are down by three.. but there is still 1:27 left ! "

But wait... maybe there is still a way....

I'm selling the house... Wayne says he can get me tickets to the interdimensional All-Star Game !

WOW ! Mr. Hockey to The Great one, out from behind the net, pass to Bobby Orr racing in from the point....

Hey ! Just got back ! had a blast ! Got everyone Hats !

interdimensional travel : Everything you will ever need.

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#43 R-DAWG
February 12 2009, 09:54PM
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I was at the game last night and was kinda pissed that S-Mac wasn't in the line up. The icing on the cake would have been a KO on Laraque...however depending on the time of game it could have been a momentum killer if Laraque beats him. So for the first time in a long time I can say that Mac-T made *gulp* a "wise" choice in not playing S-Mac. Awesome game Oil...keep it up!!

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#44 Deep Oil
February 12 2009, 11:14PM
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Jack "FMNF" Bauer wrote:

@ Deep Oil: At last, they’ve come for me. I feel their lives, their destinies spilling out before me. The denial of the one true path, played out on a world not their own, will end soon enough. Soon there will be four, glorious in awakening, struggling with the knowledge of their true selves. The pain of revelation bringing new clarity and in the midst of confusion, he will find her. Enemies brought together by impossible longing. Enemies now joined as one. The way forward at once unthinkable, yet inevitable. Dont you agree?

Sorry - not able to comment - I am in the spaceship right now - they might hear me.

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#45 Deep Oil
February 12 2009, 11:16PM
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R-DAWG wrote:

I was at the game last night and was kinda pissed that S-Mac wasn’t in the line up. The icing on the cake would have been a KO on Laraque…however depending on the time of game it could have been a momentum killer if Laraque beats him. So for the first time in a long time I can say that Mac-T made *gulp* a “wise” choice in not playing S-Mac. Awesome game Oil…keep it up!!

Why play MAC when Laraque is a pussy cat in Edmonton. Nobody manned up though and stood up for GREBS - what is going on with this team... no guts here - very soft.

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#46 Wanye Gretz
February 12 2009, 11:59PM
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Deep Oil wrote:

Sorry - not able to comment - I am in the spaceship right now - they might hear me.

I'm starting to like Deep Oil. He sounds crazy most of the time but it's interesting crazy. Not interesting crazy like Prince is interesting crazy but still interesting enough that I read each of his comments in full.

Is this the alternate universe Ender spoke of?

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#47 Roy G. Biv
February 13 2009, 07:20AM
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Travis Dakin - FMNF wrote:

don’t know if anybody pointed it out but I would like to commend you on accuracy of the rainbow colours. Well played.

Indubitably.

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#48 The Towel Boy
February 13 2009, 07:22AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Is this the alternate universe Ender spoke of?

I dunno why, but I envision the jump between these alternate universes as looking something like the beginning/end of and episode of "Quantam Leap".

Oh boy.

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#49 Travis Dakin
February 13 2009, 07:42AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

I’m starting to like Deep Oil. He sounds crazy most of the time but it’s interesting crazy. Not interesting crazy like Prince is interesting crazy but still interesting enough that I read each of his comments in full.

Ha it sounds crazy as sh*t but for some reason, that level of crazy sounds like it has merit.

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#50 Greg MC
February 13 2009, 08:01AM
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Mmmmm, Betty White ...

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