GDB 57: Sharks n Oil

Wanye
February 17 2009 03:17PM

sharks_fan8

Yeah, we're mocking small children for their choice of head gear. The game tonight is so intense we are literally starting a war! Can you feel the heat? Is the fire building up within you? Have you purchased an Edmonton Oilers garbage can in the past 72 hours? What kind of fan are you? (end NHL-esque marketing efforts here).

The Sharks aren't that good, Nation. Let's just call a spade a spade here shall we? 37 wins and 8 losses? You call that a hockey squadron? We call it a practice squad that would be throttled at the hands of a team of Oilers WHA Alumni from the late 1970s. How's that home record treating you? 23-2 is it? Good heavens. Let's not forget where one of your overtime losses came from.

Yes, if you are measuring the teams on bygone metrics like skill, winning percentage or past successes, this game is a slam dunk. But fortunately we are Oilers fans, prone to fits of irrational exuberance and bipolar mood swings. An hour ago we would have told you that the Oil were completely screwed. But then we remembered three things. A trio of facts that have been probably overlooked in all of the preparations done by both teams going into tonight's game:

1. The Oilers don't ever win the "gimme games" and often win games they have no business being in.

Example: A Gimme Game

30 Dec 2008:  Oilers v Senators (3-2 Oilers loss)

Playing on home ice and having won three in a row, the Oil dropped a 3-2 decision to an awful Senators team that has had more coaches in the past season than the Oilers have had in the last eight years. This is precisely the kind of game that the Oil have no business losing—and yet the results are entered into history as just that.

Example: A no-business-winning game

06 Dec 2008:  Oilers v Sharks (3-2 Oilers win)

Did anyone predict that the Oil would fly into San Jose to play a second road game in as many nights and would roll out with a win? We sure didn't. But that is exactly what happened on this fine evening in early December. It could happen again couldn't it? COULDN'T IT?

*falls on floor weeping bitterly*

2. The game is on pay-per-view and that means EXTRA entertainment.

Let's pretend that you're in charge of the Oilers' pay-per-view broadcasts. You sit staring at the season schedule and try to decide what games should be broadcast on normal cable and what games should be on pay per view. Let's review the criteria for tonight's decision to run the game on PPV:

Q: Do the Oilers have a 1/1000 chance of winning the game?

A: Yes. The Sharks crush opponents with startling regularity at home but that won't happen for some reason tonight.

Q: Is the game on an evening that makes sense to go to a sports bar and watch hockey?

A: Yes, nothing says "take me out to the bar" more than a Tuesday night. After a long weekend. In February.

If the Oil think tonight's game is worth $15 dollars on pay per view that must mean that they know something we don't. Like a win is imminent. Sweet.

3. Dwayne Roloson is a champion

How well is this guy playing right now? So well that the heir apparent to the starting job now collects paycheques in Pittsburgh. So well that his backup doesn't even put on his jock strap on most nights so that he can sit more comfortably on the bench. So well that there is talk of *gasp* an extension to his contract in the off-season. Think he is scared of any team in the league?

No Sir. He is not.

Goilers.

FMNF

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 socaldave
February 17 2009, 03:23PM
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outshot 528-17, but put 3 in the basket and Roli says he doesn't like pucks behind him. says go ahead, puck... make my day... puck cowers in fear and refuses to cross the goal line.

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#2 Marc Pooalot
February 17 2009, 03:23PM
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Well, i am convinced. 3-2 oilers...OT.

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#3 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
February 17 2009, 03:34PM
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Were so screwed. We should wear the vintage jerseys just for good measure.

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#4 David S
February 17 2009, 03:41PM
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Jack "FMNF" Bauer wrote:

Were so screwed. We should wear the vintage jerseys just for good measure.

The Shark's coach's first words outta his mouth in the pre-game talk: "Remember that 3-2 loss to these guys last time?"

Screwed? I could deal with that. This one's gonna be a butthole widener - for us.

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#5 bingofuel
February 17 2009, 03:45PM
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I love the way Nationeers steel themselves for the very worst outcome just so that, if the Oil eek out a win, they can feel wave upon wave of euphoria wash over them.

Well today, I dare to dream: The Oilers will win 2-1, in a shootout. The gods will bless Dwayne Roloson for his many backflips, glove saves and grand slams.

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#6 OvenChicken8
February 17 2009, 03:46PM
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3-1 Oilers, Horcoff gets another empty netter.

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#7 Harlie Chuddy
February 17 2009, 03:47PM
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QTNA - Does Rolli KY his stick?

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#8 Wanye Gretz
February 17 2009, 03:47PM
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Jack "FMNF" Bauer wrote:

Were so screwed. We should wear the vintage jerseys just for good measure.

BAHAHAH

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#9 jayoilfan
February 17 2009, 03:48PM
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Just 'cuz they lose every time I wear my jersey, I should go totally overboard and wear my Oilers jersey on top of my Ryan Smyth t-shirt, as I sport my oilers ball cap and/or touque while drinking out of my Oilers beer mug nestled on my Oilers coaster and making sure my 2.5 yr old son is in his Oilers pyjamas complete with the Oilers socks and my 3 mo old son is in his Oilers sleeper sucking on his Oiler pacifier. That will be total reverse the karma or what ever people who beleive in that call it.

If they win I can say it was because everything I did was toally against the odds which reverse the alignment of the stars and cosmic forces to their favour. If they lose it ws because everything i did usually causes them to lose.

Sometimes I feel I have that power. believe it....

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#10 nutsandgum
February 17 2009, 03:50PM
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In the Year of the Blow-out, I don't think this will be one of them. 4-1 Sharks with Fatty getting the only goal.

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#11 Harlie Chuddy
February 17 2009, 03:50PM
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@ jayoilfan:

Pat Laforge says thanks.

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#12 nutsandgum
February 17 2009, 03:51PM
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Oh, and FMNF.

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#13 PaperDesigner
February 17 2009, 03:51PM
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The only way the Oilers win this game is if Roloson stands on his head and Hemsky has the game of his career. It would help if a Souray slapshot takes Thorton out of the game, too.

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#14 Matt
February 17 2009, 04:02PM
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5-1 for the Oil with #85 in your program (but #1 in your hearts) potting two and picking up two helpers. DP drops the mits with Alexei Semenov "because coach told me to." Reddox then tries to chuck em with Grier because evidently a four point night isn't sucking up enough. A moment of silence will be observed in his honor in Dallas on Thursday.

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#15 BUCK75 - FMNF
February 17 2009, 04:23PM
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Only once we have had a 4 game win streak this year.

That about sums up my thoughts on the game. Not a good game to try & make it 'twice'.

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#16 Wanye Gretz
February 17 2009, 04:25PM
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@ everyone :

See? See all this negativity? These are exactly the ones the Oil win - forcing us to come in here the morning after and pretend like any of us thought they could pull it off.

FMNF

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#17 Ender the Dragon
February 17 2009, 04:29PM
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Hemmer lights the lamp. I'd predict more, but I'm trying to stay positive today.

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#18 Harlie Chuddy
February 17 2009, 04:31PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Anything better than a horse whippin tonight would be a positive.

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#19 Wanye Gretz
February 17 2009, 04:37PM
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Harlie Chuddy wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: Anything better than a horse whippin tonight would be a positive.

What about castration by bees?

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#20 Wanye Gretz
February 17 2009, 04:37PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Harlie Chuddy wrote: @ Wanye Gretz: Anything better than a horse whippin tonight would be a positive. What about castration by bees?

Blast

FMNF

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#21 Colin
February 17 2009, 04:41PM
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The baseball gods will smile on us, 3-1 Oilers, Roli hits a triple to deep centre.

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#22 Harlie Chuddy
February 17 2009, 04:43PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

or a dinner date with Jefrrey Dahmer

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#23 BUCK75 - FMNF
February 17 2009, 04:45PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

HAHAHA - negativity is what everyone likes - it gives us something to talk about. You get WAY more traffic if the team is struggling I bet!

I am going to state that JDD ges to see the ice tonight - Roli gets yanked & we lose by 5.

I don't want to see it - but it will give us something to talk about...

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#24 Smokin' Ray
February 17 2009, 04:53PM
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GAME DAY!!!

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#25 Mike
February 17 2009, 05:01PM
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All I know is I'm sticking it to Alan Watt again and watching the game for free. I'm never paying for another game again until they fire this sorry excuse for a coaching staff.

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#26 treblecharger
February 17 2009, 05:18PM
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FMNF. GAME DAY! I have a gig, so you cats have fun and I'll check in after the night is over. I guess I can watch on breaks, at least it won't cost me money! GOILERS!

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#27 RBK
February 17 2009, 06:04PM
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I don't like these chances either but I will be paying attention on pay per view!

GOILERS!!

FMNf

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#28 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
February 17 2009, 06:09PM
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RBK, dont go pay per view.

hhh.atdhe.net to watch the game for free. Stick it to these money grubbing bastards.

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#29 baggedmilk
February 17 2009, 06:24PM
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Me like hockey game.

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#30 The Towel Boy
February 17 2009, 08:28PM
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Sooo, I'm sitting here watching a pregame interview with the Silver Fox and Gene P...with no sound.

Stupid PPV games...so busch league.

K, as I wrote this rant...I got some sound...I have a buzzing/crackling sound instead of silence.

COME ON!

I'm calling Bell.

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#31 The Towel Boy
February 17 2009, 08:29PM
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Annnnd the second I hit post...the sound came on.

Thanks Oilersnation!

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#32 Travis Dakin - FMNF
February 17 2009, 08:38PM
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Sweet view from the nose bleeds!!!

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#33 jeanshorts
February 17 2009, 08:43PM
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Hockey! Hockey! Hockey! Hockey! Hockey! Sports!

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#34 Cory Dakin
February 17 2009, 08:44PM
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@ jeanshorts: couldn't find room in there for beer? There's always room for beer.. Always

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#35 jeanshorts
February 17 2009, 08:49PM
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Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good! And stuff!

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#36 Yakman
February 17 2009, 08:50PM
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7 minutes in with no goal against... woot!

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#37 jeanshorts
February 17 2009, 08:51PM
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@ Yakman:

Great Success!!!!!

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#38 Cory Dakin
February 17 2009, 08:51PM
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@ jeanshorts: Attaboy!

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#39 Yakman
February 17 2009, 08:57PM
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Well, at least pavelski is in my pool...

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#40 Cory Dakin
February 17 2009, 08:57PM
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Well then....

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#41 Yakman
February 17 2009, 08:57PM
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Do we battle or fold?

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#42 Yakman
February 17 2009, 08:59PM
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Stortini! Battle! Battle!

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#43 Cory Dakin
February 17 2009, 09:00PM
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@ Yakman: We put the team on Stortini's back and let him carry us to victory

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#44 Yakman
February 17 2009, 09:00PM
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The San Jose announcer sounds gay... not that there's anything wrong with that...

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#45 jeanshorts
February 17 2009, 09:00PM
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If my math is correct, and it always is, Stortini is on pace for about 176 goals this season.

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#46 RLH
February 17 2009, 09:01PM
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Rhetorical question: Is Theo the grit we've been looking for, or is this just a kid wanting to show his stuff?

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#47 longtimefan
February 17 2009, 09:02PM
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As a long time fan I have always tried to accept the role that the media plays. However I really don't understand Dan Tencer. Not sure he understands the need to be objective. OK now I get it, he works for the Oilers. Anybody know his background?

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#48 Cory Dakin
February 17 2009, 09:02PM
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@ RLH: I say give him a few games.. i think right now he's just trying to prove he can play with "jam". We'll go from there...

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#49 jeanshorts
February 17 2009, 09:05PM
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I like Peckham. I think in a year or two he could play a solid stay at home dman role a la Jason Smith. But let's hope to god he can handle the puck better.

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#50 Travis Dakin - FMNF
February 17 2009, 09:07PM
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@ longtimefan: 23 year old kid that got a job as an intern at ched due to rich daddy. Dropped out of his broadcasting school when the job came open and he was the only one to fill it. Kind of ran with it. From Leduc.

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