A frozen moment in time

Wanye
February 19 2009 02:25PM

headshave

On February 10th, Ethan Moreau and Ales Hemsky had their heads shaved, raising $27,000 for the Make-a-Wish Foundation of Northern Alberta and the Stollery Children's Hospital Foundation.

This is their story.

Radio dude: “So Ales, you have shaved your head today for a good cause. How do you feel?”

Hemsky: “What can I say? I am richer than an astronaut and the hair you just cut off probably has enough talent to be drafted in the 2nd round next year.”

Radio dude: “Is there any truth to the rumor this hair is being sent straight to a Rexall Pharmacy where it will be forwarded to the Daryl Katz Cloning Laboratory™?”

Hemsky: “Probably. As part of my new contract I signed away the ability “to be reproduced in whole or in part by the NHL and its affiliates.” I guess that’s the new CBA for you!”

Radio dude: “And you - what do you have to say for yourself there chachi?”

Cogliano: “I consider myself too pretty to participate in this charitable event. I am happy to attend the event and be the only Oiler in attendance not to shave his head. I roll like that. And besi-”

Moreau: (interrupting) “I’m so hot right now I could shave off my everythings and still roll a hundred times as hard as you there Chief. So you may want to pipe down before I kick your hair encrusted head clean off your shoulders.”

Hairdresser Girl (to Moreau): “I’d shave your everythings Ethan. Seriously.”

Kid in Hemsky Jersey: (thinks) “Given half a chance I will secretly gather this hair and bring it home to share with the legions of Hemsky fans around the world”

Hairdresser Girl: (thinks) “Given half a chance I will eat the pile of hair so that part of Ethan will always be inside me.”

Cogliano: (thinks) "I'm wearing a watch!"

Radio Guy: “This is getting slightly off the track. Perhaps I could get a word with the hair. Ales?”

Hemsky: “Works for me, the hair is free now.”

Radio Guy (to the pile of hair): “How about it? Want to be interviewed on CHED? Literally thousands of senior citizens and shut ins in Northern Alberta will hear this daytime interview and hang on your every word.”

Pile of hair: “FMNF bitches. Let’s get it on.”

The interview with Ales Hemsky’s pile of hair

pileohair2

Radio Guy: “Before we start this interview pile of Hemsky hair – are you technically under the contract with the Edmonton Oilers?”

Pile of Hair: “I don’t believe so.”

Radio Guy: “Excellent. How do you feel about the Rexall Scientist standing at the door waiting to whisk you away to the Daryl Katz cloning laboratory™ the instant this interview is over?”

Pile of hair: “In the absence of having the ability to sign any free agent players, I can totally see the wisdom of the Oilers cloning existing talent via hair follicle DNA extraction.”

Pile of Liam Reddox hair: “Does anyone want to clone me?”

Rexall Scientist standing nearby: “No.”

Pile of Liam Reddox hair: “Oh. Ok.” (sits in a pile sadly, looking very red)

Pile of Hemsky hair: “I would like to add that I also pronounce Cogliano to be a prissy wuss based on his actions today. Where does he get off attending this event with the likes of Moreau and my cranial master and yet he does not shave his dome? Lame.”

Hairdresser Girl: (with a full mouth) "Does anyone have any water?"

Goilers.

They play the Stars tonight or something.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 DK0
February 19 2009, 02:34PM
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...... so is this the GDB?

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#2 nutsandgum
February 19 2009, 02:35PM
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It's GDB!! FMNF

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#3 Homie
February 19 2009, 02:38PM
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"Hemsky: “What can I say? I am richer than an astronaut and the hair you just cut off probably has enough talent to be drafted in the 2nd round next year"

Ha! Thanks for that. Its not often I read something on a blog (unless its one of Rindog's posts) that make me laugh out loud at its absurdity, although in a good way, not like Rindog's posts.

Why the hate for Reddox? Guy is a solid 4th liner and scored more goals than Shremp in their draft year, so he does have some offensive upside. I can definitely see him in the mix on the 3rd line in a couple years.

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#4 Wanye Gretz
February 19 2009, 02:39PM
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DK0 wrote:

…… so is this the GDB?

I mistakenly started it as a game day, but Gregor has the real GDB coming.

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#5 DK0
February 19 2009, 02:41PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Ahh, it all makes sense. Ohh and ROFLFMNF worthy post

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#6 merzer131
February 19 2009, 02:41PM
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He doesn't hate Reddox. He hates his pile of shaven hair. It makes perfect sense.

Can I have some of your acid Wayne? LOLOLOLOL

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#7 Rick
February 19 2009, 02:48PM
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With his concussion problems this year was it really all that wise for Hemsky to shave his head?

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#8 bingofuel
February 19 2009, 02:58PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Easily your finest work in recent memory, that wasn't about Gary Bettman. I can't stop laughing. Well played, old son.

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#9 RLH
February 19 2009, 03:00PM
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WTH did I just read? Oi, head hurts.

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#10 Ender the Dragon
February 19 2009, 03:18PM
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Wanye,

We could have used this yesterday to ease the pain of that recent sharkbite. [affects deep, authoritative voice] You're a day late, Son.

Made a decent day out of Thursday, anyhow. Nicely done.

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#11 BUCK75 - FMNF
February 19 2009, 03:21PM
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At least you didn't use any real names - just "CHED Radio Guy"

*claps once: so loudly an oncoming meteor disinegrates*

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#12 Librarian Mike
February 19 2009, 03:27PM
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...I'm just on a quick break from work now. Did MacT's hair have any comments on Shremp's hair getting called up?

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#13 I'm a Scientist!
February 19 2009, 03:30PM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

…I’m just on a quick break from work now. Did MacT’s hair have any comments on Shremp’s hair getting called up?

No, just like his job, MacT's hair can't get cut.

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#14 Harlie Chuddy
February 19 2009, 03:37PM
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MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Funnier than a fart in a space suit.

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#15 The Towel Boy
February 19 2009, 03:38PM
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Classic Wanye Gretz.

Sweet lord.

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#16 David S
February 19 2009, 03:40PM
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Nice one Wanye! Man Hemsky with no hair looks alot like Gregor. Maybe one of your design staff on the third floor could photoshop Gregor's glasses on Hemsky to see how close they look.

BTW - you gonna grace us with an appearance at the GDB tonight?

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#17 Mike
February 19 2009, 03:50PM
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Great piece Gretz. This could be your most insightful work yet. Thanks for the laughs.

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#18 baggedmilk
February 19 2009, 04:18PM
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What you guys didn't know is that when this head shaving was going on, Tom Gilbert was balls deep in a High School Musical marathon.

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#19 baggedmilk
February 19 2009, 04:19PM
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Also... What were the odds on the girl in the Hemsky jersey as far as the Kentucky Derby goes? I've got some nickles burning a whole in my pocket.

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#20 Ender the Dragon
February 19 2009, 04:29PM
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@ baggedmilk:

Dude, it's the Make-A-Wish foundation. Perhaps class might indicate picking a better target . . .

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#21 baggedmilk
February 19 2009, 04:30PM
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Ender the Dragon wrote:

@ baggedmilk: Dude, it’s the Make-A-Wish foundation. Perhaps class might indicate picking a better target . . .

You're right. Careless of me. Cogliano in the 4th at Woodbine?

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#22 jeanshorts
February 19 2009, 04:30PM
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Was there no sexy hairdressers available that day in Edmonton?

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#23 Pinto
February 19 2009, 04:38PM
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It's not often I laugh out loud at work, but DAMNIT thats funny!!

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#24 Colin
February 19 2009, 04:38PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Was there no sexy hairdressers available that day in Edmonton?

There are sexy Hairdressers in Edmonton?

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#25 Pinto
February 19 2009, 04:41PM
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Colin wrote:

jeanshorts wrote: Was there no sexy hairdressers available that day in Edmonton? There are sexy Hairdressers in Edmonton?

Only that one and I call First's

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#26 Ender the Dragon
February 19 2009, 05:06PM
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@ baggedmilk:

Now here's the thing; if she was a patient, she might have found your comment mildly insulting. If, on the other hand she's not, she probably really hates me . . .

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#27 jeanshorts
February 19 2009, 05:17PM
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Wait. So just because a kid has cancer we can't make fun of their horse mouth? Or is she dying of horse mouth?

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#28 Harlie Chuddy
February 19 2009, 05:20PM
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"there's a moment in time, where it feels like time has come" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PRBr43emtw

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#29 B-rad
February 19 2009, 06:42PM
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hahahahahhahahahah....you can't die of horse mouth.....SILLY!

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#30 Staypuft
February 19 2009, 08:37PM
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Wanye, That's just hilarious dude. Nicely done.

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#31 freeze
February 19 2009, 08:51PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Cogliano: (thinks) “I’m wearing a watch!”

ahahahaha ah... hilarious.

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#32 merzer131
February 20 2009, 08:35AM
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We need these kind of articles on FlamesNation!!

LOL

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#33 Amber McCormick
February 20 2009, 11:19AM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Was there no sexy hairdressers available that day in Edmonton?

I was busy. (Throws Journeyman certificate to the floor and spits)

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