Smigorowski and the Super Bowl

Wanye
February 02 2009 10:51AM

hungover21

Let’s all be very, very quiet today. It’s the day after the Super Bowl and any self respecting sports fan is nursing a coffee this AM and looking forward to a hang over lunch at some place really greasy. Any ideas? We were thinking Taco Bell.

The reason of our current state (see above) is obviously because of the back to back Oilers game and Super Bowl 43 yesterday and really because we watched it with our boy Smigorowski. This is a guy who showed up in a #81 Boldin Cardinals Jersey, matching hat AND plastic fitted Cardinals helmet. He has been a fan of the Cards for the past five years (if you can believe it) and yesterday was supposed to be his day. When the Cards were intercepted on the one-yard line and the Steelers ran it in, it became clear that it wasn’t going to be his day. Instead he made it his day by single handedly drinking most of the rye in the west end of Edmonton.

Smigorowski is that buddy we all have tucked away somewhere. Knows everything about every sport, listens to 11 different podcasts on a daily basis and can explain to you why the Red Wings power play is better now than it has ever been, how he correctly predicted this would happen and how he has an authentic signed Zetterberg stick he bought for $5 in a last minute eBay auction win -- all while crushing a 40 oz of rye and amazingly still winning at poker.

He is basically a superior form of life if you grade life on the following criteria:

  • jumping in on bar fights to back up his buddies
  • extreme sports dancing celebrations
  • general knowledge
  • golfing
  • chiseling himself onto the best line in beer league hockey night after night
  • extreme poker dancing celebrations

After many hours of post Super Bowl 43 non-celebrating celebrations he made the interesting confession to us:

“I hate it when my teams lose. Bandwagons fill up and empty out all the time. Not me though. I pick my teams and I don’t care if they are popular or not. There are plenty of easier teams to cheer for than the Oilers and the Cardinals. But I stick with them. You know why? Because when they do eventually win, I will have been there from the beginning. You know how many people texted, emailed or phoned me this week and told me they were watching the Super Bowl today just to think of how greased I was getting somewhere? That’s being a real fan, Wanye. That’s what these weak ass bandwagon jumping fans don’t get. Anyone can cheer for the Yankees. It takes a real fan to cheer for the Kansas City Royals for 35 years.”      -- Smigorowski at approx 1:30 AM  this morning.

This is exactly what he said too. We made him say it into the voice recorder on our BlackBerry because it seemed so profound at the time. Then we promised to write about his sage words of wisdom today. And after making a hungover picture montage for 45 mins we got right around to it too.

Sorry about them Cardinals, Smig.

How about that Robin Brownlee?

So we are sure that plenty of you have already made it over to the latest literary gem from our very own Robin Brownlee It seems that he is starting to warm up to this idea of “say whatever you want on the internet.” We don’t want to say anything to piss him off while he is in his state and we are in ours, so we will respectfully lay down this quote of his regarding Bryan Hall and slowly walk away:

“Hallsy doesn’t know anything about the team aside from what he reads in the morning papers.” -- Brownlee

Zing!

*quietly walks away looking no one -- especially Brownlee -- in the eye*

Draft Update

The mighty racehorses are off in the second half of the Wanye Gretz Waste Time at Work Hockey Draft (WGWTAWHD). Here is a look at the early leaders:

draft01

My, my, my. Such awesome draft GMs you all are. Such robust intellects for thinking and such stout legs for deep squats you all exhibit. “Coilers” -- what a clever name you incompetent ass.

Never mind.

Keep a sharp watch out for a team currently in eighth place called “Lord Sexington’s Steeds.” This is a team that has been cleverly planned, expertly analyzed before hand and now managed to perfection by none other than Lord Wanye von Gretz VII. Lord Sexington is only in eighth because of his tendency to also pick with his heart -- thus the inclusion of Oilers on his draft team. Losing 10-2 doesn’t give your goalie much love if your goalie is Roloson now does it?

One final thing

There is starting to be a lot of negativity up on this Non Pornographic Website. Our boy Travis Dakin even got into the act the other day:

“I’ve been thinking… It is getting hard being an Oilers fan. Think about it, Why are we even still together? It’s been 28 years of marriage and sure, in the beginning it was amazing. So many highs and good memories. But in the last oh… 18 years or so we’ve been going through the motions.”

What in sweet pasteurized honey are you talking about TD? You had better be still hammered from the Steelers win when you wrote this. Did you read nothing that our boy Smigs talked about yesterday? Were you not present in spirit when he delivered that wonderful speech aimed at real fans like us? We will expand on this topic at a later date when we don’t have a day job meeting looming on the horizon, but suffice to say that we do it for the same reasons the guy in this youtube clip does it:

It may not look good, but damn it -- it feels good, and really it’s all we know.

“Why are we still Oilers fans?”

Damn man. That’s harsh on a Monday Morning.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 The Towel Boy
February 02 2009, 10:53AM
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That was a pretty good s.b. game. Best I've watched in years.

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#2 BUCK75
February 02 2009, 11:04AM
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There was an oilers & football game yesterday?

Signed BUCK75's matress he laid on till 8pm after drinking till 9am 02/01/09.

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#3 Travis Dakin
February 02 2009, 11:10AM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Do I dare trade them in for a newer, younger, more sexy model that lets me be me and makes me feel alive? No, I wake up tomorrow morning, pour that same bowl of cornflakes and hope with all hope that…. I will be struck in the head and have all memories of the last 18 years wiped clean and all I will know is good times. Love will be strong again. Forever copper and blue (sometimes bright orange) *sigh* Till DEATH, do us part!!!

You forgot that part! I will never let go of the one I love. I've already invested so much and they've been there since the beginning. But am I not a man? Do I not bleed when I am cut? I have been tempted by the younger more attractive model, but in the end I know it would be a mistake to leave.

I just need to keep myself in good shape and keep treating them right and hope with all hope that they want to do the same for me. It takes two to make a marriage work.

FOREVER I BLEED COPPER AND BLUE TILL DEATH DO US PART!!!

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#4 Colin
February 02 2009, 11:14AM
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Superbowl wasn't a bad game, I'm 0-3 for my teams in the last 3 though.

As for why I'm still a fan: -Because I (faintly, I was 7) remember the last one and how good it can be. The next one will be like the BoSox winning the World Series for the first time since the Ruth trade(And it might only take that long).

-I drank the kool-aid when I was 3 and it formed a Kidneystone that I can't get rid of.

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#5 GSC
February 02 2009, 11:19AM
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As a diehard Steeler fan, last night couldn't have been better. It's still a surreal feeling, it hasn't really sunk in yet that my favourite NFL team has won a sixth Super Bowl (2 in the last 5 years).

As a diehard Oiler fan, I couldn't be more disappointed with the lack of effort the Oilers put forth in the Nashville game. We've seen this movie before, no doubt. When we start to get a glimmer of hope, the Oilers always snap us back into reality with another gutless and heartless collective showing.

I wish the Oilers would find some of the heart and drive that the Steelers seem to have every Sunday. Dustin Penner could especially use a sack injection from the likes of a James Harrison or a Hines Ward. And as for Smig's remarks about being a diehard fan, you bet your ass it's better to always have been there from the beginning. That's how my buddies were last night with the Steelers, and that's how they were when the Oil went on the improbable 2006 run.

You stick with your team for those very moments. You may not be happy with their current situation (I'm not talking about the Steelers, to be sure...), but you love them anyway.

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#6 Wanye Gretz
February 02 2009, 11:28AM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Travis Dakin wrote: FOREVER I BLEED COPPER AND BLUE TILL DEATH DO US PART!!!

Of course you do. That was a trick question and you passed with flying colors. The rest of these people on here should take note at what a real fan looks like.

He looks like this: Travis Dakin

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#7 Colin
February 02 2009, 11:33AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Travis Dakin wrote: Travis Dakin wrote: FOREVER I BLEED COPPER AND BLUE TILL DEATH DO US PART!!! Of course you do. That was a trick question and you passed with flying colors. The rest of these people on here should take note at what a real fan looks like. He looks like this: Travis Dakin

You almost owe me a keyboard wanye.

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#8 Deep Oil
February 02 2009, 11:39AM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Travis Dakin wrote: Do I dare trade them in for a newer, younger, more sexy model that lets me be me and makes me feel alive? No, I wake up tomorrow morning, pour that same bowl of cornflakes and hope with all hope that…. I will be struck in the head and have all memories of the last 18 years wiped clean and all I will know is good times. Love will be strong again. Forever copper and blue (sometimes bright orange) *sigh* Till DEATH, do us part!!! You forgot that part! I will never let go of the one I love. I’ve already invested so much and they’ve been there since the beginning. But am I not a man? Do I not bleed when I am cut? I have been tempted by the younger more attractive model, but in the end I know it would be a mistake to leave. I just need to keep myself in good shape and keep treating them right and hope with all hope that they want to do the same for me. It takes two to make a marriage work. FOREVER I BLEED COPPER AND BLUE TILL DEATH DO US PART!!!

does that make Katz your father in law ?

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#9 Deep Oil
February 02 2009, 11:45AM
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GSC wrote:

As a diehard Steeler fan, last night couldn’t have been better. It’s still a surreal feeling, it hasn’t really sunk in yet that my favourite NFL team has won a sixth Super Bowl (2 in the last 5 years). As a diehard Oiler fan, I couldn’t be more disappointed with the lack of effort the Oilers put forth in the Nashville game. We’ve seen this movie before, no doubt. When we start to get a glimmer of hope, the Oilers always snap us back into reality with another gutless and heartless collective showing. I wish the Oilers would find some of the heart and drive that the Steelers seem to have every Sunday. Dustin Penner could especially use a sack injection from the likes of a James Harrison or a Hines Ward. And as for Smig’s remarks about being a diehard fan, you bet your ass it’s better to always have been there from the beginning. That’s how my buddies were last night with the Steelers, and that’s how they were when the Oil went on the improbable 2006 run. You stick with your team for those very moments. You may not be happy with their current situation (I’m not talking about the Steelers, to be sure…), but you love them anyway.

sounds like tough love here is the answer - take away the players ipods and gameboys for the next charter flight and make them watch Sundays no show....

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#10 B-rad
February 02 2009, 12:34PM
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Ottawa sucks a little bit this year and they fire the coach......we suck equally and ours is locked in forever.

wow.

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#11 Cam
February 02 2009, 12:41PM
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Since we won the cup in 1990, I feel that fans will never be satisfied. We have seen and felt greatness, and over the last 18 years, we have wanted to feel that again. It is the human condition to never be satisfied. I remember fans bad-mouthing Gretzky back in 1986 as he didn't get the job done.

If the Oilers continue to win more games than they lose, then we are luckier hockey fans than at least half the league. Once in a while we even get rewarded with a few series wins in the post season ('91, '92, '97, '98, '06).

Everyone seems a little quick to hit the panic button considering that this team is in the best position at this point of the season since the lockout, and that with a number of passengers. I think if we could put some electric shock providers on some of the playersdelicate body parts (ahem... Penner), and allow Robin Brownlee to be able to zap them when they are being lazy, then we would have a hockey team that could dominate.

Since they don't allow zappers for even the most journalistic of bloggers, I just hope they get a better coach. The players need to see someone held accountable for their actions.

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#12 Hockey Gods
February 02 2009, 12:45PM
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B-rad wrote:

Ottawa sucks a little bit this year and they fire the coach……we suck equally and ours is locked in forever. wow.

I am on the Fire MacT Bbandwagon, heck and driving the damn thing when BM is too drunk from the recruiting, but you missed with your logic. The Sens are 17-27-?? and we are 25-21-3, above .500.

Now if you were say Mact is drunkin idiot, who shoots off at the mouth too much, plays far too many players out of position, trusts incompetent AHLers with 1st line minutes, hasn't created a team identity, or isn't preparing the team to play at a high level I would say amen to you brother.

Deep Oil wrote:

sounds like tough love here is the answer - take away the players ipods and gameboys for the next charter flight and make them watch Sundays no show….

OMFG, out of Deep Oils ramblings he finaly said something that makes sense. That is just crazy enough to work.

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#13 Greg MC
February 02 2009, 12:45PM
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@ Cam: Yes, our Coach is past his best before date.

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#14 Travis Dakin
February 02 2009, 12:48PM
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@ Cam: I wouldn't call 18 years "quick to judge" and say what you will about the standings but if you'll notice, the difference between 5th spot and 14th is 8 points. A few game losing streak and they are at the bottom of the conference. To say they are in better position is a little misleading. This team has some MAJOR holes.

01 San Jose Sharks PAC 48 36 7 5 77 02 Detroit Red Wings CEN 49 31 11 7 69 03 Calgary Flames NW 48 30 14 4 64 04 Chicago Blackhawks CEN 48 27 13 8 62 05 Anaheim Ducks PAC 52 25 22 5 55 06 Dallas Stars PAC 48 23 18 7 53 07 Minnesota Wild NW 49 25 21 3 53 08 Edmonton Oilers NW 49 25 21 3 53 09 Columbus Blue Jackets CEN 50 24 21 5 53 10 Phoenix Coyotes PAC 51 24 22 5 53 11 Vancouver Canucks NW 50 22 20 8 52 12 Los Angeles Kings PAC 48 20 21 7 47 13 Nashville Predators CEN 49 22 24 3 47 14 Colorado Avalanche NW 50 23 26 1 47 15 St Louis Blues CEN 48 20 24 4 44

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#15 Cam
February 02 2009, 01:38PM
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@ Travis Dakin: Look at their record the past four years. We haven't had more points after 49 games in any of those seasons.

Your logic that they are a losing streak away from the cellar is correct. They are also a winnnig sterak away from putting a pretty good headlock on a playoff position.

The question is which team will show up. If the personnel play to their potential, then I have no fear. But yet, I AM AFRAID. I believe it is up to the coach to get his players to play up to their potential. We have too many passengers this year for me to think it is just a rash of bad players that Lowe has put together... I think it is the coach.

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#16 smytty777
February 02 2009, 02:10PM
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@ Cam: It's not a question of which team will show up, this is the team. It is incapable of stringing together important wins, but it is also good enough to win a decent amount of games.

The Oilers have shown that the only thing they can do consistently is be inconsistent. Whether or not that earns them a playoff spot at the end of the day is anybody's guess. But it is clear they will be in a dogfight for the rest of the season.

It's equally clear that despite being in a dogfight the Oilers will decide not to show up to play hockey on a somewhat regular basis.

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#17 Cam
February 02 2009, 02:56PM
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smytty777 wrote:

@ Cam: It’s not a question of which team will show up, this is the team.

But the team looks completely different depending on the night. If this team plays like it can, then they win (3-1 against MIN), or they can sleep through a game and look terrible (1-5 against MIN). You don't which team is goig to show up on any given day.

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#18 Travis Dakin
February 02 2009, 03:02PM
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Cam wrote:

You don’t which team is goig to show up on any given day.

That's the point.

Good teams show up. Period.

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#19 shakey
February 02 2009, 03:17PM
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Based on history...which is based on my memory and not an actual search so take it for what it is...the Oilers aren't a great team at this time of the year so I think I know what team is going to show up. Please prove me wrong Oil.

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#20 MikeP
February 02 2009, 07:42PM
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Travis Dakin wrote: Good teams show up. Period.

That would be San Jose and Boston, with Detroit, Chicago, Washington, and New Jersey not far behind.

Most of the rest are exactly like the Oilers: good some nights, terrible other nights.

Hey, we got what we said we wanted: even footing.

The only consolation is all of those teams had some really bad years themselves, although I'll stipulate that it's been a while for Detroit. They're gonna regret that Zetterberg contract in a few years though.

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#21 Travis Dakin
February 03 2009, 08:44AM
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MikeP wrote:

That would be San Jose and Boston, with Detroit, Chicago, Washington, and New Jersey not far behind.

I like to use the Blackhawks as a comparison. In terms of roster depth and player to player comparisons, I think they are the same as the Oilers. The Oilers can match any player up against theirs in terms of individual talent. Difference is, they fired their coach 9 games into the season.

There is no reason at this point the Oilers shouldn't be up there with those teams. They haven't won a lot of games they shoul have lost but they damn sure have blown a lot of games they should have one. If the Powerplay was anywhere near the top 10 they would be right near Calgary.

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