GDB 75: Robert Frost's hockey wisdom lives on

Jason Gregor
March 27 2009 01:43PM

robert_frost

A few weeks ago my neighbour strolled up to my door toting a bottle of Bacardi Limon -- best drink going if you mix with water -- so I let her in. We yapped for a bit, poured a few Limons, but the Oilers game came on so I pretty much gave her the proverbial nod every few seconds suggesting I was listening to her. She must have caught on that I wouldn’t be engaging in any conversation until a commercial or intermission, so she sat at my computer and checked her e-mail.

I thought it was harmless enough, until the next morning when I open my Outlook and I have some email from Audri and Jim Landford. I’m like WTF, why isn’t my spam detector working? But, of course I had to see who it was from...

Maybe Carney Lansford, one of the greatest third basemen ever, died and left me something in his will. I wasn’t a baseball enthusiast growing up, but he was one my favourite ball players.

I never played ball -- hated it in fact. I tried it once when I was seven and they put me in the outfield. After six innings of swatting mosquitoes, looking like Les Nessman from WKRP in Cincinnati and getting no balls hit to me, I announced to my dad that I would not be coming back. At that age, there is no more boring sport than baseball.

Anyways, Lansford rocked and he had a great ‘stache too. And he had a cameo as Kit “hit or Die” Kesey in the 1994 remake of Angels in the Outfield.

** Yes it was a Disney movie, but I’ll watch any sports movie, and don’t say you didn’t believe in the possibility of angels when the kids started flapping their arms in the final game. Admit it, you believed a bit.***

Well Audri and Jim aren’t Carney’s parents; rather, they are some inspirational speakers or something, and my neighbour felt it was necessary that I receive these quotes. Every day now I get an inspirational quote from some famous person that is supposed to brighten my day. Yesterday it was:

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." -- Mark Twain

Thanks Mark, I’ll try that one.

Today this is what I got -- brace yourselves Oiler fans:

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." -- Robert Frost

Frost is a famous American poet, in case you didn’t know. And I can tell you that without those inspirational words I might not have realized that in fact I would still be breathing today. Thanks, Tips.

Oh bla dee, oh bla da

Life does indeed go on, but after watching that debacle last night, you wonder if the Oilers will go on to the playoffs. And if they, many of us will have a big part of our lives put on hold until next October.

While life goes on, it sure sucks going on in a city void of playoffs. Everyone is happier when the Oilers are in the playoffs. Hell, even Brownlee’s scowl softens as young lasses who can’t name two players on the team drive around the city flashing passing motorists. (True story in the run of 2006, the JAG mobile got flashed every day by random girls after the Oil beat the Sharks in round two. Some days it pays to have your show name plastered on the Kia.)

It’s been two springs of nothing since, and after yesterday’s incredibly bad effort against the lowly Phoenix freakin’ Coyotes, I’m worried we’ll experience another flashless spring.

It was game 74 last night, and you would think that by now the PP could at least string together three consecutive passes. Or how about this novel idea: if the first unit can’t do anything, then start the second unit on the PP. Do you not want some healthy competition amongst the units?

Where was the desire? The urgency? Don’t give me this garbage about Phoenix being loose, so it’s easier for them to play. They aren’t that good. Colorado is supposed to be loose and they keep getting blown out by five or six goals a night.

The Oilers better wake up tonight. The Ducks have won five straight, and six of their last seven. They’ve won two in OT and two in the SO.

In their last two home games they are a ridiculous seven for ten on the PP. They are rotating their goalies, yet they still win. The Ducks are playing aggressive, in-your-face-yet-disciplined hockey right now. They look like a team that wants to be in the playoffs.

We’ll find out tonight if the Oilers truly want to be in the playoffs.

  • Show up early.
  • Compete.
  • Hit.
  • Shoot the damn puck.
  • Crash the crease.
  • Play Stortini.

I know he isn’t a game breaker, but at least Stortini gives you some energy and spark, and he’ll stand up to Anaheim, something very few forwards on this team seem willing to do.

As the great American Poet Robert Frost said about life: it goes on.

Well Mr. Frost, in Edmonton life sure sucks if it goes on without some NHL playoffs. And it sucks even worse if you drink pansy American beer while doing it. Here’s to some good old fashion Pilsner, Molson Canadian, OV, Labatt Blue, Black Label, Grasshopper or any other Canadian Beer that tickles your fancy.

Tonight we drink real beer, (Or Bacardi Limon with Water) and we get set for some playoffs!

** Game day update:

  • Stortini and JF Jacques are in.
  • Nilsson and Reddox are out.

This is a smart move by MacT, and we'll see more energy in tonight's game because of these moves.

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#51 DK0
March 27 2009, 05:18PM
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Well, I'm off to Hudsons on Campus to catch the game. It's Martchtoberfest tonight. $2.75 highballs will make the Oilers beautiful again. Right??? *weeps softly on his walk down to catch the loser cruiser*

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#52 Sandra
March 27 2009, 05:20PM
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So Nielson is in the dog house again, why is that? he played well last night, Pisani had a bad game, Souray has not been the same since the all-star game. Did Batman scare him? The dressing room needs leadership. go out and have fun, not squeeze your stick. MacT has to take control. Tencer and Stauffer go to bats for him and believe he is one of the best coachs in the NHL. Where is Lowe we don't hear from him no more, is he getting a new hair piece?

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#53 David S
March 27 2009, 05:21PM
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Just finished listening to the pre-game interviews on Oilers.com. Say what you will about Dustin Penner, but his utter contempt of dumb media questions is a thing of beauty. I bet he's made Gene cry at least once this year.

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#54 jeanshorts
March 27 2009, 05:24PM
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@ David S:

Dustin Penner was extremely overshadowed by Matt Greene as the Oilers funny man. But he's really stepped it up this year. His dry wit is incredible. If only he put that much effort into potting gino's and crushing dreams on a nightly basis.......

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#55 David S
March 27 2009, 05:27PM
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DK0 wrote:

Well, I’m off to Hudsons on Campus to catch the game.

Hudson's Downtown for me. I'll listen to Gregor's Just a Game show on the way home as I pass the Ford dealership and admire the new F-150 and talk on my Rogers phone.

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#56 Chris
March 27 2009, 05:31PM
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The Oilers NEED a win tonight.

Does anyone think that the Oilers can lose tonight; then with all that pressure march into Minnesota and get their first win in 11 or 12 tries at the Excel Energy center? If the Oilers drop both games can they still make the playoffs? I say NO. This is it people. It's over-used but tonight is a MUST win. If the Oilers lose they may not be mathmatically eliminated... but make no mistake- They WILL miss the playoffs.

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#57 Jason Gregor
March 27 2009, 05:34PM
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Chris wrote:

Does anyone think that the Oilers can lose tonight; then with all that pressure march into Minnesota and get their first win in 11 or 12 tries at the Excel Energy center?

THey play Minnesota at home on Sunday not in Minnesota. Next six games are at home for Oilers.

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#58 Sandra
March 27 2009, 05:36PM
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David S wrote:

Just finished listening to the pre-game interviews on Oilers.com. Say what you will about Dustin Penner, but his utter contempt of dumb media questions is a thing of beauty. I bet he’s made Gene cry at least once this year.

How come there is no "quotes" from the coach?

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#59 Jason Gregor
March 27 2009, 05:45PM
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Sandra wrote:

How come there is no “quotes” from the coach?

He wasn't available for comments today... Happens once in a blue moon...but also interesting...Maybe he wants the players to do the talking on and off the ice.

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#60 Gene's Pubes
March 27 2009, 06:04PM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

THey play Minnesota at home on Sunday not in Minnesota. Next six games are at home for Oilers.

Are you serious??

Were so screwed.

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#61 David S
March 27 2009, 06:45PM
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Jason - What's the deal with Nilsson? Is this just the coach trying a more physical lineup? I thought Nilsson was playing great the last while. Did I missed a bench-worthy gaff last game?

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#62 Phil
March 27 2009, 06:46PM
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Let the fans coach this hockey team, HAH!

That would be hysterical, prolly win more games too.

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#63 R-DAWG
March 27 2009, 06:56PM
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@ Gene's Pubes: All I want to know is how many more games do we wear the retro jerseys??

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#64 R-DAWG
March 27 2009, 07:00PM
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Phil wrote:

Let the fans coach this hockey team, HAH! That would be hysterical, prolly win more games too.

We would have the same problems as the coach...who to put out??? We would be stuck with the same under acheivers as Mact. I'd rather manage the team or hell even own the team this way we could impose out of pocket bonuses for good play.

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#65 Fiveandagame
March 27 2009, 07:30PM
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willy fisterbotom wrote:

hey gregor let me get this straight. a WOMAN BRINGS a bottle to your place is pounding shots of limon and is ignored????? thats a question that needs answering.

Yeah cause hpckey was on DER! It's not like the canucks were playing.

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#66 Harlie Chuddy
March 27 2009, 07:41PM
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i'm still on the wine portion of this evenings drinking menu. I'll probly switch to Rum's after I quickly lay the blocks to the old lady before the game starts.

*wait for it..wait for it. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! and boom goes the dynamite.*

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#67 R-DAWG
March 27 2009, 07:49PM
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The f'in Islanders are beating the Red Wings...WTF!!!

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#68 Wanye Gretz
March 27 2009, 07:58PM
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David S wrote:

DK0 wrote: Well, I’m off to Hudsons on Campus to catch the game. Hudson’s Downtown for me. I’ll listen to Gregor’s Just a Game show on the way home as I pass the Ford dealership and admire the new F-150 and talk on my Rogers phone.

Holy shaz! Advertising works better than I thought.

For the record your ol' pal Wanye is cooped up at the office and shan't be seeing any of the game.

*tears stream down cheeks as customers line up for ass bleaching outside Wanye's office*

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#69 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:02PM
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Is anyone else nervous?

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#70 Wanye Gretz
March 27 2009, 08:04PM
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Hoodlum wrote:

Is anyone else nervous?

Replace nervous with "sick to death of half assed efforts" then yes, I'd say I'm nervous.

You?

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#71 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:08PM
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Look on the bright side, we're guaranteed to see a good 10 minutes of spirited, emotional hockey. I just hope it happens in the 1st period so I don't have to waste 3 hours seeing them get pummelled, and then I can go back to the UNC- Gonzaga game

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#72 Al Hamilton
March 27 2009, 08:10PM
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woooooo!!!

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#73 17
March 27 2009, 08:10PM
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Excellent job Penner. 1-0!

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#74 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:10PM
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Good start boys

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#75 17
March 27 2009, 08:11PM
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WOOO PIES!

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#76 Al Hamilton
March 27 2009, 08:11PM
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double wooooooo!!!!!!

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#77 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:11PM
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WHAT IS GOING ON HERE.....I EFFIN LOVE IT

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#78 17
March 27 2009, 08:12PM
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What're the odds Giguere goes all crazy like he did on Smyth a few years ago? I guess not very, he just got pulled.

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#79 Al Hamilton
March 27 2009, 08:13PM
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Hoodlum wrote:

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE…..I EFFIN LOVE IT

There was something in the air that night......Fernando......

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#80 Phil
March 27 2009, 08:13PM
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I wonder if we're gonna sit on the lead for the last 2 periods and end up losing this game... hmmmmmmmm

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#81 Chris
March 27 2009, 08:13PM
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@ Jason Gregor:

Oh... Geeze my face is red...(Apparently I can't even read a schedule)... I gueuss it's okay to lose.

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#82 Chris
March 27 2009, 08:14PM
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Gueuss is moron way to spell guess.

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#83 David S
March 27 2009, 08:14PM
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Hey - I thought the Oilers were supposed to be playing tonight!

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#84 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:16PM
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Parros went to Princeton, Jacques should have kicked his ivy league ass

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#85 Harlie Chuddy
March 27 2009, 08:19PM
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I'm BACKKK! (not like anyone cares :( ) but holy shyt we're up 2 goals!?! Wait a minute...one goal now. That's it...back to the old lady.

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#86 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:20PM
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Do you have to swipe your safeway card on GAMEDAYS to win? I heard that so i reserve my grocery shopping for then. I really, really want a pink digital camera

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#87 17
March 27 2009, 08:23PM
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those Tim Horton's wraps are gross.

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#88 Harlie Chuddy
March 27 2009, 08:23PM
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i thought Moerau wasn't taking any stupid penalties since he's been on with Gregor. I guess that's over now.

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#89 David S
March 27 2009, 08:26PM
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Good for Moreau! He's finally reached 1000 penalty minutes. What an amazing career!

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#90 David S
March 27 2009, 08:26PM
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17 wrote:

those Tim Horton’s wraps are gross.

Those new MacD's burger wraps are pretty yummy.

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#91 Harlie Chuddy
March 27 2009, 08:29PM
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haha! Ovechkin with 4 points at T-bag tonight. Noice!

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#92 David S
March 27 2009, 08:34PM
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Whiffcoff's gotta get those on net.

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#93 Wanye Gretz
March 27 2009, 08:36PM
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From what I can gather on ye olde Nation she is 2-1. Sure, I could go look somewhere else but deciphering comments is much more fun.

Plus people could spare my feelings in the event the Oilers start getting worked and could trick me into thinking the Oil are winning still.

*imagines a fantasy world where fans set the scores in games and never learn the truth*

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#94 David S
March 27 2009, 08:37PM
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Atta boy Zack!

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#95 17
March 27 2009, 08:38PM
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@ David S: mmm grease.

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#96 Al Hamilton
March 27 2009, 08:38PM
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i think stortini may have won a fight? anyone else get a better look at it?

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#97 Hoodlum
March 27 2009, 08:38PM
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If John Cena does not win an acedemy award for 12 rounds, I will never watch another movie again

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#98 Harlie Chuddy
March 27 2009, 08:39PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

*imagines a fantasy world where fans set the scores in games and never learn the truth*

that happens for reals! You just gotta get black out drunk and then you have to listen to the radio or check the next the next day to find out the actual score. This actually works. I've had a few RX and Commonwealth nights that were complete mysteries to me until I looked on the next the next morning and got the calls from family and friends who told me exactly what I ended up doing during my blackout. Ahh the good ole' loss time memories!

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#99 Harlie Chuddy
March 27 2009, 08:40PM
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next shoulda meant net the first few times. I blame it on the CL's folowed by the RW's and being only on my first RP

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#100 David S
March 27 2009, 08:42PM
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Wanye - hxxp://atdhe.net/live-tv.php?i=12532444

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