We won't get fooled again

Wanye
March 31 2009 09:01AM

thewho1

Just when you think things couldn’t get any more insulting to Oilers fans – it happens.

We were forcibly sat down late last night and made to listen to this Oilers appeal to the fans on Dan Tencer's blog. If you haven’t gone and listened to it we can fill you in quite quickly. A bunch of Oilers who didn’t identify themselves - Horcoff was there (we would know his voice anywhere) and perhaps Gilbert,  Strudwick and even a Hemsky at the end? It's neither here nor there - whoever they were they collectively made a flat and unemotional appeal to Oilers fans to be supportive of the team in the next 6 games in a clip with about as much production value as an OilersNation Podcast. They certainly didn't sound like a bunch of players that were about to catch fire and start rag dolling teams in their final 6 games. They sounded more like tired and defeated hockey players who would rather have worn a beard of angry bees than face Tencer and his micromophone. This is at least an acknlowedgment of the gillions of Citizens of the OilersNation, albeit a strange way to go about engaging the good party people. But that too is neither here nor there.

After sitting down and giving it the benefit of the doubt we listened to the appeal three seperate times. Three seperate listens and we have one real take on the matter:

Are you serious?

yahooserious

“We the Oilers need you the fans, to cheer” they said. Uh, we need the fans need you the Oilers you to win some games!! If there is one party in the fans-team relationship that is failing the other we hardly think its the billions of devoted citizens of the OilersNation.

There is a touching part of the audio clip where the player reminisces about the fans on the route to the Cup run. Unidentified Oiler #2 mentions vague sentiments about how awesome it was when the fans would sing the anthem before the game. MY GODS MAN!! You do realize that you are basically rubbing salt in our collective wounds right? You do realize that we want nothing more than to get behind this team and cheer you idiots to 10 Stanley Cups in a row right? Invoking these memories as if to somehow suggest it’s the fans fault that you and your coworkers are anything short of bad right now is an absolute slap in the face to the hundreds of millions of fans that live and die with your every word. Rather than getting on the radio-blog thing and calling for support maybe you could go out there and earn it the old fashioned way:

Go out and play some friggin playoff hockey.

We would personally give our left testicle, 3 toes and half of our thumb if you idiots would win a Stanley Cup. So don't you go on the air and somehow infer that we are letting you down in any way shape or form. It is you who is letting us down. Get that very, very clear in your collective minds.

Perhaps we too should go on the air and make attempted emotional pleas that come off insincere and self serving too.

"Please Oilers on behalf of the fans, please go out and play better hockey. You have no idea the lift it provides to all of our frozen spirits when you and your cohorts go out and play some decent puck. It would be just lovely if you could find it in your hearts TO PLAY SOME FUCKING PLAYOFF HOCKEY"

Playing the heart strings of Oilers fans in the powder keg of emotion we have going right now may not be the brightest idea guy-signed-to-gigantic-contract-starting-next-year. But if that is the game you want to play Shawn Horcoff, we will play along.

We have reached out to our vast network of criminal associates and have arranged tickets to tonight's game against the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim. The fact we are going to drag ourselves to the game despite the performances we have witnessed at RX1 as recently as last game should say something about commitment. We will join the other 1.4 million committed fans who will be filing into RX1 or dejectedly plunking themselves down in front of a telematrix to witness the hockey match this evening. We are going with our boy MSG who is one of the most knowledgeable hockey fans and biggest Oilers fans around. The two of us sat side by side for the bulk of the games during the SCF run in 2006. We will do as you ask and will personally drink ourselves under the table (as usual) screaming and yelling all the while (as usual) while making off-handed quips much to the delight of our section mates wherever we are sitting. 100% positive and 100% believing as we have done since we were 4 years old and started watching your predecessors play. We will do as you ask Oilers, but know this:

If you show us the same effort you showed us when we attended the games against Minnesota, Buffalo and Chicago this year we don't know what we can do next but it will be dramatic. Not that anyone really cares what we think, but WE care what we think and we won’t be able to look ourselves in the mirror at the bus depot in the offseason if we know we let you kick us again when we were down.

But OK Shawn Horcoff. You have earned the right to make an appeal to the fans. We will do as you ask and we put all the negativity on hold. We will try and encourage the other dejected Oilers fans we know to cheer as though it is a playoff game tonight. We have collectively gone to the trouble of buying tickets and everything so why not right?

You have now have our full and undivided attention Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club and we are going to come through in spades like Oilers fans do time and time again. But if you fail us, so help you Gods Edmonton Oilers.

So help you.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Thorn
March 31 2009, 10:24AM
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I'm embarassed as an Oiler fan that our players have "asked" us to cheer. We're among the most educated hockey fans in the sport so how does this look to outsiders? We've ALWAYS got your back Oilers (us loyal fans anyways), but there's only so much we can do for you. Stick up for yourself on the ice and skate like there's no tomorrow because there almost isn't. For the 3rd year in a row I'm making the trip down to Calgary for the last game of the year. I will be PROUDLY sporting my jersey, drinking/cheering my stupid face off and dealing with the loud mouth fans as once again. PLEASE show up for the game so I don't have to resort to the "We've got 5 cups" chant to salvage some kind of dignity...either that or just have a good ol' fashioned fight-night but whatever happens it's ALL FOR YOU! LETS GO OILERS!!!

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#52 TOAST
March 31 2009, 10:24AM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

TOAST wrote: I, too, will be at the game cheering/drinking. I’m the abused wife who has dinner waiting on the table every night…such is the fate of the Oiler National. uh, abused because you are forced to go to the game or is this a cry for help?

Metaphor...http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/metaphor

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#53 Nickler
March 31 2009, 10:25AM
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@ deepoil:

...a little too over the top you think?

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#54 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 10:25AM
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Chaz wrote:

“Let’s Go Golfing!!”

{slow clap for you sir}

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#55 Archaeologuy
March 31 2009, 10:27AM
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@ TOAST: dude, relax.

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#56 BUCK75 - FMNF
March 31 2009, 10:30AM
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swany wrote:

but maybe this picks them up it’s worth a try for playoff hockey.

You don't get into the play-offs by hoping your 39 year old goalie can steal a game every night. This is on everyguy on the team that doesn't lace up goalie skates.

They have GASSED so many games this season simply by not showing up. We wouldn't be having this disccussion if:

Think back all season to games where there was little or no effort.

Thu Oct 30, 2008 @Predators Lose 3-1 Thu Nov 6, 2008 @Penguins Lose 5-4 (even a side bet couldn't motivate them ;) ) Thu Nov 13, 2008 home game - Maple Leafs Oilers lose 5-2 after dominating first period & leading after 20. Wed Nov 26, 2008 Kings win on our ice 2-1 Sun Nov 30, 2008 @Stars lose 4-3 when Turco Struggling Thu Dec 11, 2008 Panthers beat us for the first time on our ice in like 12 years 2-0. Tue Dec 16, 2008 Blackhawks beat us 9-2. Debacle. Tue Dec 30, 2008 Senators win here 3-2. The Senators?!?!? Thu Jan 15, 2009 @Wild lose 5-1. Tue Jan 27, 2009 Sabres beat us 10-2 at home. Brutal. Sun Feb 1, 2009 Predators win here on Superbowl Sunday 2-1. Sun Feb 8, 2009 in Minne lose 3-2 in shoot-out. Thu Feb 19, 2009 @Stars lose 4-2 Thu Feb 26, 2009 Blue Jackets beat us 1-0 at home because they couldn't get motivated. Boo-ed off ice AGAIN. Thu Mar 5, 2009 Lose in Ottawa 4-2. Sun Mar 22, 2009 lose 3-0 in Minne. Thu Mar 26, 2009 lose 3-2 in PHX.

If they would have showed up for half the games we would have another 14 points at least. Don't tell fans how to act at home when they boo you off the ice 3 times this season...

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#57 Ender the Dragon
March 31 2009, 10:32AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

I agree that it was a terrible idea by Tencer. The concept might be OK on paper but statements that self servicing and impossibly unconvincing by the players should have led any producer listening to it to scrap the idea completely.

David S wrote:

I wouldn’t give Tencer credit for this. I’d bet some large that this was something either Alan Watt or Patrick Laforge cooked up. Can you imagine how big of a tool you’d feel like if you were a player doing one of these spots?

I agree with David. Know why the Oilers don't sound jacked on the clip? It's because they realized as they spoke how absolutely retarded it sounded.

['You want me to read this? Are you kidding? You know I have to go outside sometimes, where these people will be waiting for me; you realize that, right? It says what in my contract? Let me see it . . . aw, #%$@*! {hangs head} Give me the mike . . .']

Let's not hang this on the players in the clip; I can't think it was their idea.

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#58 pk
March 31 2009, 10:38AM
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If you don't think you're getting your hard earned money's worth and you're not being entertained enough DON'T BUY THE TICKETS, give them up and let someone else have them who will actually apreciate getting to watch the best hockey in the world a chance to go to the game and make some noise.

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#59 Zamboni Driver
March 31 2009, 10:39AM
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@ pk:

Sincerely,

Patty Laforge

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#60 MattL
March 31 2009, 10:42AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Apparently you have missed the Oilers play of late. What have they lost - 4 of the last 5?

Apparently, you don't know what mathematically means.

I sure as hell hope this was Tencer's idea. It didn't even look the players believed what they were saying. This club is done for the year emotionally before they even got going. This is game 82 as far as I'm concerned right now.

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#61 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 10:48AM
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MattL wrote:

Apparently, you don’t know what mathematically means.

Isn't Wanye some kind of accountant in the real world, since he wrote those 'Financial State of the NHL' articles?

Irony

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#62 Rusty Shackleford
March 31 2009, 10:49AM
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I thought it was really corny that after each player begged us to love them, CHED played clips of the crowd from the 06 cup run and some legendary calls. "Samsonov... to Hemsky.." ... "Smyth... to Horcoff... SCORES!!!!!!

I'm not sure if that is supposed to make me love this team, or hate the GM more?

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#63 MattL
March 31 2009, 10:54AM
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Compare the half-hearted Oil clip with Espo in '72:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2v4rHgRyUo

HUGE difference.

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#64 Ted Saskin
March 31 2009, 10:55AM
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Thanks for the edit Wayne, sorry about that. I just really felt for MacT yesterday during his presser. I was and still am on the fire MacT wagon but, Lowe has to take blame also. Slats once "fired" Green because he felt for him and his health, It looks like MacT aged so much from the start of the season, he is a good person. Lowe must go too, give the reigns to Tambo with no input from Lowe.

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#65 5Cups without another in sight
March 31 2009, 10:55AM
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BUCK75 - FMNF wrote:

Sunday 2-1.

Would it not be easier to list the games we played well this year. It would be short and most likely only include the March 20 game against the hawks. At least it was complete.

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#66 I'm a Scientist!
March 31 2009, 10:55AM
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Archaeologuy wrote:

Clap if you believe in fairies everyone, Clap!

Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC wrote:

{slow clap for you sir}

Ha! Subtle, but i am pretty sure Bruthah believes in fairies... That is awesome!

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#67 jeanshorts
March 31 2009, 10:57AM
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Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC wrote:

Isn’t Wanye some kind of accountant in the real world, since he wrote those ‘Financial State of the NHL’ articles?

All of that is just a front for a puppy mill/human trafficking ring.

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#68 RyanD
March 31 2009, 10:59AM
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The crows is always energized down the stretch. We're more supportive than we are all season. Even on Sunday this team would have been booed off the ice if we didn't give them the benefit of the doubt because of the situation we're in, standings-wise.

The crowd was jacked on Sunday. We were ready to go. Then the Oilers fell down 1-0. Then 2-0. And it stayed 2-0 for a long ass time before they finally gave US something to cheer about.

But again, it was too late. Score some goals and win a game you have to win and we'll be there for you.

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#69 Rob
March 31 2009, 11:00AM
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5Cups without another in sight wrote:

@ swany: I love the fact that a multi million $ pay check can’t motivate them, but yet they believe we can get them over the hump! Tell that to your boss and see what happens. Boss, I just did not feel that you motivated me well enough to deliver that presentation on time… Anyone need their record of employment?

I think players see contracts as more of a reward rather than motivation, at least our guys do anyway. Every player on the team still gets their paycheck even if we lose all 82 games. How does the money motivate you when thats the case?? We only have three main guys in a contract year this year and all three have played well (grebs, roli and smid). Money isnt motivating this team so it obviously has to come from somewhere else. If fan support at games is what they need I say lets do it for these last 6 games of mact's carrer as head coach of the oilers.

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#70 Wanye Gretz
March 31 2009, 11:00AM
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@ Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC:

An accountant? How dare you Sir?

*runs away bawling*

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#71 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 11:01AM
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I'm a Scientist! wrote:

Archaeologuy wrote: Clap if you believe in fairies everyone, Clap! Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC wrote: {slow clap for you sir} Ha! Subtle, but i am pretty sure Bruthah believes in fairies… That is awesome!

oh.... OH, I see what you did there!

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#72 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 11:04AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

An accountant? How dare you Sir? *runs away bawling*

@ I'm a Scientist!:

See, fairies are all around us!

{clap clap}

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#73 Wanye Gretz
March 31 2009, 11:08AM
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@ Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC:

I'm sorry did you just call me an accountant and then a fairy? The fairy thing is immediately dismissable. But an accountant?

I'm gonna show you how I got these tear drop tattoos in prison homeboy.

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#74 Ted Saskin
March 31 2009, 11:09AM
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Take a look at the sincerity of Harold Druken, I mean Horcoff.

hxxp://oilers.nhl.tv/team/console.jsp?catid=4&id=38157

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#75 Archaeologuy
March 31 2009, 11:12AM
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@ Wanye Gretz: and the shanks come out again

i suggest using the mokeys provided by I'm a Scientist!'s lab instead.

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#76 Archaeologuy
March 31 2009, 11:12AM
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@ Archaeologuy:

damn edit button, monkeys!

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#77 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 11:14AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

tattoos in prison

Jeanshorts drawing on you with a Sharpie while you're passed out doesn't count!

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#78 Librarian Mike
March 31 2009, 11:16AM
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Wanye, perfect choice of title. This is especially valid when the final line of that song describes our coaching/management situation perfectly:

"Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss."

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#79 I'm a Scientist!
March 31 2009, 11:19AM
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Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC wrote:

See, fairies are all around us!

Well played... the accountant thing was a bit of a low blow though!

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#80 I'm a Scientist!
March 31 2009, 11:20AM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

Wanye, perfect choice of title. This is especially valid when the final line of that song describes our coaching/management situation perfectly: “Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.”

YES. Yes. yes. You are so 100% correct!

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#81 heed
March 31 2009, 11:21AM
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I went to the oil game in anaheim last friday and i have to say it was pretty refreshing watching the oilers play a game in front of a non-hostile crowd.

I'm not saying that the team has really given the home town fans much to cheer about but I can see why their record is better away than at home. They seem to have more fans on the road.

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#82 Librarian Mike
March 31 2009, 11:24AM
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heed wrote:

I’m not saying that the team has really given the home town fans much to cheer about but I can see why their record is better away than at home. They seem to have more fans on the road.

Exactly. "Yay! The Oilers are in town. It's guaranteed win night!"

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#83 Wanye Gretz
March 31 2009, 11:33AM
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@ heed:

Really? I have been to a great many games at RX1 this year and I really haven't seen any displays of bad vibes. When the Oil scored the 10-2 goal against Buffalo I was shocked at the level of applause.

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#84 The Towel Boy
March 31 2009, 11:34AM
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What's the difference between a pixie and a fairy? Anyone?

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#85 Jay
March 31 2009, 11:35AM
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hitting = cheering scoring = cheering scoring chances = cheering sweet dangles = cheering

missed passes = silence/groans giveaways = silence/groans penalties = silences/groans

Judging by this scientologically approved formula, one can see exactly why there is little cheering at Rexall these days

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#86 The Towel Boy
March 31 2009, 11:39AM
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I'm a Scientist! wrote:

Well played… the accountant thing was a bit of a low blow though!

Agreed, you don't go calling someone an accountant...on THEIR OWN WEBSITE. At least he didn't go the "Insurance Salesman" route.

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#87 Wanye Gretz
March 31 2009, 11:42AM
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@ Jay:

I have taken a preliminary look at your calculations and they seem to be valid. We will need our resident scienticians to give this a read:

Archaeologuy, Iamascientist! thoughts on this?

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#88 Archaeologuy
March 31 2009, 11:43AM
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Jay wrote:

Judging by this scientologically approved formula, one can see exactly why there is little cheering at Rexall these days

I'm sending this one through I'm a Scientist!'s binary translation devise, to give it more credibility.

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#89 humantorch
March 31 2009, 11:44AM
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What a crock of crap from an organization that can't tell it's own ass from a hole in the ground. This is some of the most insulting tripe this side of Pat Laforge that they've trotted out yet.

Between this video and MacT insinuating in the Journal two days ago that the fans haven't done THEIR part in cheering loud enough, I'd be taking my seasons tickets into the head office and burning them on Kevin Lowe's desk before punching him in the mouth if I lived on the right side of the ocean.

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#90 humantorch
March 31 2009, 11:45AM
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pk wrote:

If you don’t think you’re getting your hard earned money’s worth and you’re not being entertained enough DON’T BUY THE TICKETS, give them up and let someone else have them who will actually apreciate getting to watch the best hockey in the world a chance to go to the game and make some noise.

I'd say calling whatever the hell it is the Oilers are doing this season "the best hockey in the world" is a bit of a stretch, don't you think?

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#91 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 11:46AM
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@ Jay:

You forgot - Failed Dangle attempt = silences/groans

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#92 Bruthah - FMNF, FLNF, NNC
March 31 2009, 11:47AM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

At least he didn’t go the “Insurance Salesman” route.

When I read this, I just pictured the guy from Groundhog Day... "Phiiiil? Phil Connors????"

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#93 Archaeologuy
March 31 2009, 11:50AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Jay: I have taken a preliminary look at your calculations and they seem to be valid. We will need our resident scienticians to give this a read: Archaeologuy, Iamascientist! thoughts on this?

The only other thing I could add to the formula is that any of the items on the list of the same Groan/Cheer value (from here on out understood as the symbols Ch or Gr)executed consecutively increases the value of Ch or Gr exponentially.

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#94 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
March 31 2009, 11:53AM
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wtf is up with the comments?

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#95 MattL
March 31 2009, 11:56AM
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Librarian Mike wrote:

Wanye, perfect choice of title. This is especially valid when the final line of that song describes our coaching/management situation perfectly: “Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.”

"And a [Eric Cole] on the left... is now a [Eric Cole] on the right... and the beards have all grown longer overnight..."

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#96 I'm a Scientist!
March 31 2009, 11:59AM
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@ Jay: Wanye Gretz wrote:

Archaeologuy, Iamascientist! thoughts on this?

*adjusts glasses*

Well, after running the formula through my computer, and crunching the numbers i find that there is one missing part of the equation. Mostly Jay was correct, but he must have forgotten to carry the one.

*clears throat and adjusts glasses nervously again*

The missing part is this:

Monkeys = cheering

*awaits applause*

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#97 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
March 31 2009, 12:01PM
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I think we need to get a Nation party going tonight. If things dont go well, we can start chanting FIRE MACT, and it should be loud enough to get some attention.

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#98 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
March 31 2009, 12:04PM
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Oh man there is no way Tencer monitors his own blog.

"Wow...an absolutely overwhelming response...thank you! If you have time, be sure to read what fellow readers/listeners have to say; there's tremendous insight from some of those posts."

Uhhhh....18 of the 20 comments are all, "this is BS"

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#99 Lucinius
March 31 2009, 12:09PM
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Well, apparently I'm going to the game tonight (a friend of mine got passed a couple really good tickets, else I wouldn't go to the game in person -- I have a habit of getting seated next to the worst people generally). I plan to cheer like we're winning the cup tonight. Why? Why not? Its a win-win. I can either cheer because we're playing well, or because we're playing badly and its another nail in the coffin of the management's running of the team.

That and apparently we're smuggling in hard liquor so I won't have to decide between the water-downed swill/beer and suffering through the crowd/game sober.

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#100 roughneck
March 31 2009, 12:16PM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

What’s the difference between a pixie and a fairy? Anyone?

Ill try!!

a pixie wears a really short dress as in tinkerbell, cannot reproduce and loves peterpan... when shaken emits "pixie dust" allowing gay people the power of inter dimensional flight

a fairy lines up beside studley bomblauncher on our 5 on 3 and stands terrified of moving as paying people scream SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!, sadly can reproduce and also loves peterpan, when shaken pleads for the fans to cheer before emitting foul mucus like anal matter prompting nation people the choice of flee or be fleeced.

I think.

hey gregor careful on the GQ duds in the club... spiteful people lurk*

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