GDB 78: The Brink

Jason Gregor
April 02 2009 03:04PM

brink_final

The Oilers playoff hopes are on the brink (I said a loss against the Ducks was the unofficial end of the dream, but mathematically they are still alive), and the Sharks are circling tonight. Do they smell blood?

Can the Oilers live to skate another day? Who the hell knows? One game at a time was the overwhelming theme and retort inside the lockerroom, and really, what else do the Oilers have to cling to.

I suggest covering your eyes when the second period starts. The Oilers have been outscored 90-74 in the middle frame, while the best frame is the 2nd where they have dominated the opposition 86-50 on the scoreboard.

The Oilers best frame, not surprisingly is the third where they have potted 73 and given up 66 goals. The first period they are -4, scoring 67-71. Maybe they should each chug a Rockstar or one of those Five hour energy drinks. Or get their video guru, Brian Ross, to have a motivational vignette of great movie speeches.

Play parts of Rudy, or the Reg Dunlop speech when he tell the team the only option left is to win the F-ing league. How about Tony DAmatos (Al Pacino) halftime doozy during Any Given Sunday to fire up the troops? Because whatever is happening in the first intermission is not working, so they better do something to change it up.

RYE AND COKE TO SPARK THE TEAM

The Trailer Park Boys were at the Rex this morning. They must have had a ripper of a party in Lethbridge last night because the aroma was obvious this morning. They eventually made their way to the players only area in the back of the room. Maybe Bubbles or Ricky or Julien loosened the boys up with a skit or some inspirational story about gathering shopping carts, living in a car, dealing pot or how to succeed with a drink in your hand 24/7.

At this point the Oilers need to try something different. Their routine is not working. Sixteen wins in 37 home games is pitiful. There will be one lineup change tonight. Robert Nilsson will skate on the LW with Gagner and OSullivan. Penner will play with Stortini and Brodziak. Expect to see Horcoff go against the Thornton line, and he will be flanked by Pisani and Moreau on certain shifts, and Hemsky and Kotalik the rest of the time.

FIVE-ON-FIVE PRODUCTION

The Oilers have more EV goals than the Sharks, 143-132, but they have also given up more 140-116 five-on-five. The glaring difference between these teams comes, wait for it, on special teams. The Sharks have 70 PP goals to the Oilers 48, and theres a bigger gap on the PK. The Oilers PK has surrendered 70 goals, while the Sharks have only been scored on 44 times.

Combine the two and the Sharks are 48 goals better than the Oilers on special teams. That explains the 30 point difference in the standings. I'm not sure what will have more life support tonight; the Oilers or the ER finale. Both might become unwatchable.

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One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#1 David S
April 02 2009, 12:11PM
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"Robert Nilsson will skate on the LW with Gagner and OSullivan"

Thank the freaking gods up above for that! At least Sam will have the chance to go down with all guns blazing.

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#2 Archaeologuy
April 02 2009, 12:12PM
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Now I have this image of Bubbles standing behind the bench instead of MacT, Julien holdin his wicked kool tumbler from the GM's box, and Ricky playing goal. Hilarious.

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#3 Jonathan Willis
April 02 2009, 12:15PM
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I suggest covering your eyes when the second period starts. The Oilers have been outscored 90-74 in the middle frame, while the best frame is the 2nd where they have dominated the opposition 86-50 on the scoreboard. The Oilers best frame, not surprisingly is the third where they have potted 73 and given up 66 goals. The first period they are -4, scoring 67-71.

I'm confused, Jason - what did you actually mean? I see four frames here:

74-90 86-50 73-66 67-71

Clarification, please?

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#4 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 12:23PM
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@ Jonathan Willis: An obvious reference to the Huston Oilers... 4 quarters... these are the facts we need!

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#5 Rick
April 02 2009, 12:27PM
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I think the 86-50 is what the Sharks have done in the second period.

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#6 Kyle S
April 02 2009, 12:27PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

I suggest covering your eyes when the second period starts. The Oilers have been outscored 90-74 in the middle frame, while the best frame is the 2nd where they have dominated the opposition 86-50 on the scoreboard. The Oilers best frame, not surprisingly is the third where they have potted 73 and given up 66 goals. The first period they are -4, scoring 67-71. I’m confused, Jason - what did you actually mean? I see four frames here: 74-90 86-50 73-66 67-71 Clarification, please?

The Sharks best frame is the 2nd where they have dominated the opposition 86-50 on the scoreboard.

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#7 BGH
April 02 2009, 12:31PM
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I am pretty sure the 86-50 reference the Sharks and the second period being their best frame.

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#8 DK0
April 02 2009, 12:34PM
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@ Kyle S: Ahh thanks for the clarification. I thought maybe Gregor was out all night with the Trailer Park Boys.

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#9 Homie
April 02 2009, 12:38PM
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The Sharks are the Bizarro World Oilers. They have star players who consistently produce, checkers who can check AND score, an underrated defensive core and a top ten goalie. Its yet to be seen if Big Joe can produce into the playoffs this year, but the Sharks are a model of how to build a team.

The best move they made was dumping Ron Wilson as coach. The guy is the Keith Tkachuk or Curtis Joseph of coaching. They have great reputations, but have never won a thing.

That said, I think the Oil will win tonight and Saturday just so they can climb back into contention in order to lose the final three and miss the playoffs.

6-2 Oilers; O'Sullivan (2), Souray, Moreau, Brodziak and Penner

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#10 buffalo farmer
April 02 2009, 12:48PM
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Nilsson to play, intill one gutsy breakaway pass gets intercepted and than bring on the reddox/reasoner for the final four games!

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#11 Poo Czar
April 02 2009, 12:49PM
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The chick in that poster looks like Winnie Cooper.

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#12 17
April 02 2009, 12:54PM
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2-1 Oil. I'm going to this game so hopefully it's a gooder.

And now back to work

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#13 Phil
April 02 2009, 01:04PM
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No massive hype or buildup for this game Gregor?

No punching of the tickets to intensity town?

The team let you down (amongst the rest of us), yet again on Tuesday eh bud?

Anyways, I could care less with the outcome of this game, I just hope they give it their best shot.

I'm getting hammered and playing poker with the game on in the back ground. That's what it's boiled down to at this point of the season, so sad.

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#14 The Towel Boy
April 02 2009, 01:16PM
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Poo Czar wrote:

The chick in that poster looks like Winnie Cooper.

I hated her, cuz she never fully appreciated Kevin's love for her.

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#15 baggedmilk
April 02 2009, 01:17PM
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Poo Czar wrote:

The chick in that poster looks like Winnie Cooper.

The wonder years was a fantastic show.

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#16 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 01:17PM
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I'm a Scientist! wrote:

@ Jonathan Willis: An obvious reference to the Huston Oilers… 4 quarters… these are the facts we need!

I wrote that? What a stupid comment. Sorry folks.

*fills up the bandwagon with super premium, takes it through the wand wash, then goes patrolling 97th for some eyecandy that will hang out the windows screaming incoherent messages about being pregnant with Nabokov's child while he cruises Wayne Gretzky Drive, carefully avoiding puddles*

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#17 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 01:18PM
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Poo Czar wrote:

The chick in that poster looks like Winnie Cooper.

But, would ya???

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#18 baggedmilk
April 02 2009, 01:20PM
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Just like I posted on JSBM.com, Europe has been saying it since 1986, it's the Final Countdown.

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#19 baggedmilk
April 02 2009, 01:21PM
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I'm a Scientist! wrote:

Poo Czar wrote: The chick in that poster looks like Winnie Cooper. But, would ya???

If she's got a hole it's a goal.

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#20 Colin-FMNF
April 02 2009, 01:31PM
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Homie wrote:

That said, I think the Oil will win tonight and Saturday just so they can climb back into contention in order to lose the final three and miss the playoffs. 6-2 Oilers; O’Sullivan (2), Souray, Moreau, Brodziak and Penner

I sort of agree, they'll climb back in until the last 2 games of the season and calgary will eliminate the Oilers in game 82 for the worst possible result.

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#21 SquidRx
April 02 2009, 01:35PM
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My son ran into the Sharks coming off the ice yesterday at Millenium Place. He chatted a minute with Joe Thornton and got his authograph. He told Joe that he thinks the Sharks will win the game tonight. I'm going to classify that as a jinx being firmly put in place! GOIL! P.S. My son said the Sharks were very friendly and accomodating. He got the autograph and conversation with Mr. Thornton, plus some high-5's from Cheechoo and Grier. I'm always happy when I hear that players take the time and patience with the fans, especially the young fans. Glove tap to the Sharks and Big Joe.

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#22 Jorge
April 02 2009, 01:37PM
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I seen all the Sharks boys at the Nickelback concert in rexall late last night. Hopefully some of them are hung over and still deaf

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#23 Word
April 02 2009, 01:38PM
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MacIntyre does a glorious Bubbles impressios. I wanna see a clip of his showing it to Bubbles.

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#24 Poo Czar
April 02 2009, 01:47PM
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Winnie Cooper is one of '80's & '90's TV underrated hotties, and unlike so many others, she turned out WELL.

http://stuff.maxim.com/cover_girls/girl.aspx?id=468

I absolutely would.

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#25 The Pestival
April 02 2009, 01:47PM
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Oilers win and go on a roll to finish the season and enter the playoffs hotter than two rats f***ing in a wool sock!

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#26 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 01:50PM
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@ baggedmilk: I concur.

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#27 Jason Gregor
April 02 2009, 01:51PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

I suggest covering your eyes when the second period starts. The Oilers have been outscored 90-74 in the middle frame, while the best frame is the 2nd where they have dominated the opposition 86-50 on the scoreboard.

IT should read the SHARKS best frame is the second...Sharks outscore opposition 86-50 in middle frame.

***Blames Wanye for getting him bombed last night...

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#28 Cam
April 02 2009, 01:53PM
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If the Oil are going to miss the playoffs I hope they do it spectacularly (5 losses) so we at least get a decent draft pick out of it.

I woudl rather they win the table and make a run out of it, but if it is to be an Oilerless Spring, then lets do it right boys!!

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#29 Jason Gregor
April 02 2009, 01:55PM
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Phil wrote:

No massive hype or buildup for this game Gregor? No punching of the tickets to intensity town? The team let you down (amongst the rest of us), yet again on Tuesday eh bud?

The team never lets me down, because I have no expectations. The Tuesday game was the playoff game and they lost. Could they win...sure..but then they need lots of help just to stay one point out of the playoffs...not the same...This game itself doesn't have the same implications as Tuesday...You can't manufacture big games...

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#30 Cam
April 02 2009, 02:04PM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

***Blames Wanye for getting him bombed last night…

Did you feel as remorseful as Wanye did when you awoke?

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#31 DK0
April 02 2009, 02:05PM
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I expect a good game tonight. There's no expectations, no pressure. The team well be so "loose" that "jam" will fly everywhere and the team will "take it one game at a time".

Ohh crap, I just wrote that i expect a good game tonight, that means theres expectations -> pressure OHH GOD! QUICK EVERYONE ABANDON THE BANDWAGON, SHES GOING DOOOOOWWWNNNNN!!!

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#32 a_ron
April 02 2009, 02:16PM
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watching the Oilers is like the little kid who wanted a bike for his birthday and got socks.

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#33 Jason Gregor
April 02 2009, 02:26PM
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Cam wrote:

Jason Gregor wrote: ***Blames Wanye for getting him bombed last night… Did you feel as remorseful as Wanye did when you awoke?

Nope clear head...While my eyes were crossed they could still tell the difference between a soft five and an eight...

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#34 G unit.
April 02 2009, 02:27PM
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You should see Winnie Cooper all grown up.. Just google Danika Mckellar.

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#35 The Towel Boy
April 02 2009, 02:34PM
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G unit. wrote:

Just google Danika Mckellar.

All I get are images of some hot chick in a Maxim/FHM/Stuff photoshoot....heeeeyyy....OH!!!!

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#36 Chaz
April 02 2009, 02:37PM
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baggedmilk wrote:

Europe has been saying it since 1986, it’s the Final Countdown.

Well Thank you very much for getting that song in my head. The only way to get one craptastic song out of ones head is to replace it with another....The Oilers should listen to that "No Limits" song to get pumped for the game tonight. You know the one: "No, no limits, just reach for the sky..."

...ahhhhh, much better than Final Countdown....

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#37 Chaz
April 02 2009, 02:38PM
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...or we could just all clap along to Private Eyes. Either is fine by me.

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#38 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 02:41PM
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@ G unit.: Now google "Fred Savage" and sit back and think about what beautiful children they would have brought into the world if Winnie wasn't such a damn prude.

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#39 Poo Czar
April 02 2009, 02:48PM
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I tried posting a Winnie Cooper hottie link a while ago, but it is still awaiting moderation. I think bingofuel is likely perusing intently enough to cause chafing.

How did Topanga turn out? Wasn't that Fred Savage's little brother's Winnie Cooper equivalent?

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#40 swany
April 02 2009, 02:56PM
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Chaz wrote:

baggedmilk wrote: Europe has been saying it since 1986, it’s the Final Countdown. Well Thank you very much for getting that song in my head. The only way to get one craptastic song out of ones head is to replace it with another….The Oilers should listen to that “No Limits” song to get pumped for the game tonight. You know the one: “No, no limits, just reach for the sky…” …ahhhhh, much better than Final Countdown….

For tonights game I like Walk All Over You, because that's what the Oil will do and if they lose Shot Down In Flames.

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#41 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 02:57PM
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Poo Czar wrote:

How did Topanga turn out?

Better than Blossom (Mayim Bialik)...

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#42 Jack "FMNF" Bauer
April 02 2009, 03:15PM
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@ Jason Gregor:

Did you stick around for the karaoke they had at Walkabout or did you relocate?

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#43 Jason Gregor
April 02 2009, 03:19PM
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I'm a Scientist! wrote:

Poo Czar wrote: How did Topanga turn out? Better than Blossom (Mayim Bialik)…

NO better young tv chick than Alyssa Milano...she is smoking now...

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#44 jeanshorts
April 02 2009, 03:25PM
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@ Jason Gregor:

Smoking ALWAYS.

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#45 G unit.
April 02 2009, 03:26PM
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Gregor wins... 100% agree. WOW.

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#46 Chaz
April 02 2009, 03:28PM
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@ Jason Gregor: She was on Rome today. She's even hot on the Radio!

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#47 I'm a Scientist!
April 02 2009, 03:29PM
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@ Jason Gregor: There was never any doubt. She has withdrawn some deposits from my spank bank in the past... kaching!

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#48 cambosmash
April 02 2009, 03:33PM
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Did anyone else watch Step by Step? You know the little tomboy daughter named Al? Look-up Christine Lakin.

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#49 Poo Czar
April 02 2009, 03:33PM
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@ Jason Gregor: AND she's a noted Puck Bunny!

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#50 Poo Czar
April 02 2009, 03:35PM
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Apparently the youngest daughter from Urkel's show ended up in porn.

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