QTNA 6: Sexy Texty and Salary Caps

Jason Gregor
April 06 2009 09:24AM

confucius

I appreciate all of the questions that you have sent in, and I'm always surprised at how many are non-sports related. I won't give financial advice, and while some of the dating ones are funny I'm no Dr. Sue Johanson. Although hosting a show like that once a week would be pure comedy. Apparently people think if you are on the radio you are interested in solving all of life's little mysteries.

I know Oiler fans are pissed that for a third straight year, and five of the last seven, your team is out of the dance, but your hopefully your life isn't as boring as our friend John here, who sent in this email looking for an answer.

Wanye note: I used to think Gregor made up these questions. But he actually forwarded me these in advance to show me a glimpse into the insanity that is his inbox at Just a Game. I weep for society. This were actual questions and this was really the answer he mailed back to John.

If you have a question, send it to jason@justagame.ca.

Hi Jason, I have a question that I believe you and only you will have the answer to: Quite simply, why does it burn when I urinate?

Truly Yours, - John

Really John? This is what you want me to answer? Probably because you have low self esteem and keep going home with 180 pound randoms. Then you decide against buckling up, which isn't smart, because she says she is on the pill. Then you brace yourself against the porcelain god, as the pain rips through your millimeter peter when you try to whiz. And you are wondering if was it worth it?

Only you can answer if those 45 seconds of pleasure with a lady of dubious quality was worth the constant reminder of razor blades down your urinary tract three times a day.

Figure it out John. Ick.

Jason, Who do you like for the NHL player awards, specifically the Hart, Jack Adams and Norris? - Tim S

Like you Tim, I could care less who wins the Lady Bing, or who is even nominated. Is it based solely on low PIMs, or can people really tell who is sportsmanlike? I don't even know who I would pick on the Oilers. Gilbert and Cogliano aren't physical, but does that make them more sportsmanlike than a guy like Strudwick, who plays tough, but not cheap. Does not taking penalties make you more sportsmanlike? The league thinks so. Look for Zack Parise to beat out Marty St. Louis and Pavel Datsyuk in a close race.

The three finalists for the Norris should be Mike Green, Shea Weber and Dan Boyle. The more I watch Boyle I think he might be the most underrated player in the league. He has a great first pass, is solid in both ends and has become the leader on the Sharks back end. He will probably get overshadowed by Nick Lidstrom, but he has been just as good this year.

People used to say Weber was a poor mans Dion Phaneuf, but this season he has been better than the former 9th overall pick. Weber is just as physical, scores more, and makes better decisions with the puck. He plays every situation and on a team that can't score his production has kept the Preds in the playoff hunt.

Mike Green became only the 8th D-man in NHL history to score 30 goals in a season, joining Bobby Orr (five times), Paul Coffey (four), Denis Potvin (three), Doug Wilson, Phil Housley, Kevin Hatcher and Ray Bourque. That is pretty lofty company, and if Rod Langway can win back-to-back Norris Trophies based solely on great defense, then Green should win because of his exceptional offence.

Green was never a scorer in junior, but he is the most dangerous offensive D-man in the game now. He controls the PP, he has a wicked shot, and he knows when to join the rush. He is averaging 1.08 points per game, with 70 points in 65 games. If he had been healthy, he might have scored 90 points this year. If he doesn't win it will be an absolute travesty.

A new name will be engraved on the Vezina this year. Even though Marty Brodeur broke the all-time wins record this year, he hasn't played enough and frankly his numbers arent Vezina worthy. Tim Thomas, Mikka Kiprusoff and Niklas Backstrom will probably be the finalists, although Evgeni Nabokov and Cam Ward could easily crack the top three.

I think Thomas is the most deserving. His 2.07 GAA and .933 save % is best amongst starters, and most goalies feel that save % is the most accurate stat to evaluate a tenders play. Kiprusoff has the most wins, but he has played the most games, and his 2.84 GAA is in the bottom five amongst starters. Compare their ratio of wins to games played and Thomas dominates again. The late-bloomer should grab his first Vezina and become the first Bruin to win since Pete Peeters took it home in 1983.

The Jack Adams should be the most debated award this year because there arent three clear-cut candidates. Claude Julien, Todd Mclellan, Joel Quennville, Brent Sutter, Alain Vigneault should be considered because of their records, but what about Barry Trotz, Andy Murray or Paul Maurice in Carolina.

Last year, Bruce Boudreau won after the Caps did a 180 under his tutelage. Look at how the Canes have played since Maurice took over. The Blues have been without Erik Johnson, Eric Brewer and Paul Kariya for most of the season, yet Murray's guidance has them the hottest team in the West since January.

I think Sutter will edge out Julien in a close vote.

The Calder will go to Steve Mason, but it shouldn't be a landslide win like most are predicting. Nashville's Pekka Rinnes numbers are very close to Mason's. Mason has 32 wins, a 2.22 GAA, a .918 SV% and 10 shutouts. Rinne has 28 wins, a 2.28 GAA, a .921 SV% and seven shutouts in eight less games. Rinne is six years senior and played three years in the AHL, while Mason is straight out of junior and is considered the real rookie.

Gregor, any idea why the Flames only dressed 16 skaters the other night in Minnesota? And do you know if Regehr, Aucoin and Sarich will be out long?

- Terry the Flames Fan in Edmonton

The salary cap is why the Flames only dressed 16 skaters and two goalies. With Regehr, Aucoin, Sarich all hurt the Flames had to recall John Negrin and Matt Pelech so they could dress six D-man. Problem for the Flames is that they had no room under the salary cap so they had to send down two forwards just to get Negrin and Pelech on the roster.

The Flames can't put any of their D-men on the IR, because with less than ten games to play it won't save them any money. There is no limit on how many players a team can have on their roster after the trade deadline, as long as the salaries dont exceed the cap.

Aucoin is day-to-day, but if he cant go on Monday then the Flames will play a man short again.

Once the regular season is over, the salary cap doesn't come into play so the Flames will be fine roster wise, but I put in a call to Calgary on Sunday and it sounds like Regehr has an MCL problem and could be out up to four weeks. Sarich has a broken foot, and once he can get his foot in a skate and handle the pain, he will play.

But the Flames are struggling mightily right now, and if Regehr isnt ready come playoff time they will be hard pressed to avoid another first round exit.

It is interesting to see that both the Flames and Oilers will have cap struggles the next few years. The Flames have $45.6 million committed to 16 players for next year and $36 million towards ten players in 2010 when the cap is expected to drop significantly. The Oilers have $45.9 million committed to 18 players for 2009 and $39.2 million for eleven players in 2010. That doesnt leave either team with lots of wiggle room. Will they be forced to hide some salary in the minors, or will they have to trade away players for less than market value?

Have you ever sent an inappropriate text, or one that hurt your job? - Colin

I have never had so many questions and comments about text messaging as I have in the past week. I have never personally sent one that hurt my job, but I did have one that was beyond embarrassing.

One day after leaving Oiler practice I was driving to the station and promptly started a text. I was dating a girl and decided to text her a cheezy message, I miss you. Can't wait to see you again and feel your soft kisses. (I know really sappy, but dont pretend all you guys haven't done it.)

Wanye Note: *crickets*

Well a few minutes later I get a text back. ??? What the hell?

Turns out rather than send the text to Susan, I sent it to the name above hers in my phone, Stoll.

Upon seeing his name come up, I almost crashed my car. I had to call him immediately to explain it was intended for a girl. It's embarrassing enough when you send a text like that, but compound that ten fold when you have to explain to a guy why you are being Lance Romance in your texts.

He was pretty good about it, except he did forward it to a few mutual friends which made it even worse. Since then I always double check the name before I send a text. And remember kids, DON'T text and drive.

Man, I give good advice.

Ddf3e2ba09069c465299f3c416e43eae
One of Canada's most versatile sports personalities. Jason hosts The Jason Gregor Show, weekdays from 2 to 6 p.m., on TSN 1260, and he writes a column every Monday in the Edmonton Journal. You can follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/JasonGregor
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#1 Ogden Brother
April 06 2009, 09:44AM
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Could have been worse, at least you didn't send that to your mom.

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#2 jayoilfan
April 06 2009, 09:49AM
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Pure Gold on the last one Jason. I've done something similar with a buddy playing pool. Needless to say he didn't like my hand on his thigh. He was sitting next my fiancee...and I forgot what seat I had been in before, no really, he did not enjoy it. We still laugh about it to this day.

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#3 humantorch
April 06 2009, 09:55AM
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Jason Gretor wrote:

I think Thomas is the most deserving. His 0.07 GAA and .933 save % is best amongst starters, and most goalies feel that save % is the most accurate stat to evaluate a tenders play.

That's a pretty impressive GAA. Can we trade for him? We wouldn't even need defencemen.

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#4 Peter Pan
April 06 2009, 09:57AM
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Great stuff Jason. But in regards to the Norris, I don't know how you could leave out Zdeno Chara. He has been a monster all season in long in all three zones. He plays in all special teams situations, millions of minutes, hits, fights, scores, defends... he is the total package. He or Green for Norris, but I'd select Chara.

As for the Vezina, like you, I believe Thomas will win, but I don't think Kipper (especially due to final 1/4 of season) deserves consideration of Steve Mason.

Adams has to be Sutter from NJ, but if Blues sneak in the top eight...

And the Selke is Best Defensive Forward, not sportsmanship. I think you were referring to Lady Byng.

Love the "180 pound randoms" line. lol

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#5 Kent
April 06 2009, 10:01AM
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Kipper shouldn't be anywhere near the Vezina this year. And, yes, Im a Flames fan.

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#6 Jonathan Willis
April 06 2009, 10:06AM
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Kent wrote:

Kipper shouldn’t be anywhere near the Vezina this year. And, yes, Im a Flames fan.

Seconded. Also, the fact that Mike Smith isn't going to get any consideration is ridiculous.

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#7 Amber McCormick
April 06 2009, 10:15AM
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I think a burning sensation when urinating is the only time one can feel truly alive.

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#8 Archaeologuy
April 06 2009, 10:31AM
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Gregor, am I led to believe that your innappropriate advances on Stoll was the force that threw him off his game in his last season here?

@ Amber McCormick: wow...that is awesome.

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#9 EMAC
April 06 2009, 10:53AM
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I thought Pekka Rinne was too old to win the Calder. And what about Bobby Ryan, 30 goals, 56 points, +15 in only 62 games. Imagine he played the whole year.

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#10 Jonathan Willis
April 06 2009, 11:06AM
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EMAC wrote:

I thought Pekka Rinne was too old to win the Calder. And what about Bobby Ryan, 30 goals, 56 points, +15 in only 62 games. Imagine he played the whole year.

I made the same mistake with Rinne - he just makes the cutoff.

Ryan's a nice choice, but I doubt he wins. The competition from the goaltenders is just too strong.

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#11 Mr P
April 06 2009, 11:08AM
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What about Mason For the Vezina? Even the Hart, no Mason no playoffs in Columbus. Same with the Mason from St loo, it was nice of hm to take time off singing for Anthrax long enough for the stretch drive.

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#12 Jonathan Willis
April 06 2009, 11:11AM
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Maybe this is me being a homer, but doesn't Dwayne Roloson also deserve some Vezina consideration?

I suppose if he'd willed this team into the playoffs he might have got some. Or if he'd been the starter from day one rather than having to supplant Garon.

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#13 OvenChicken8
April 06 2009, 11:16AM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Maybe this is me being a homer, but doesn’t Dwayne Roloson also deserve some Vezina consideration? I suppose if he’d willed this team into the playoffs he might have got some. Or if he’d been the starter from day one rather than having to supplant Garon.

I think Roli has a better shot at the masterton imo.

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#14 Homie
April 06 2009, 11:47AM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

Maybe this is me being a homer, but doesn’t Dwayne Roloson also deserve some Vezina consideration? I suppose if he’d willed this team into the playoffs he might have got some. Or if he’d been the starter from day one rather than having to supplant Garon.

That is you being a homer. Roli had a good year, but he's not even in the top 20 for GAA, just got into the top 20 in SP% and has a below .500 record (an OTL is still a loss for me).

He deserves consideration for the Oilers MVP and worst haircut for a millionaire, but that's about it.

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#15 Ogden Brother
April 06 2009, 11:55AM
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Homie wrote:

Jonathan Willis wrote: Maybe this is me being a homer, but doesn’t Dwayne Roloson also deserve some Vezina consideration? I suppose if he’d willed this team into the playoffs he might have got some. Or if he’d been the starter from day one rather than having to supplant Garon. That is you being a homer. Roli had a good year, but he’s not even in the top 20 for GAA, just got into the top 20 in SP% and has a below .500 record (an OTL is still a loss for me). He deserves consideration for the Oilers MVP and worst haircut for a millionaire, but that’s about it.

I'd nominate him for best KD Lang impersonation as well.

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#16 Wanye Gretz
April 06 2009, 12:16PM
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Ogden Brother wrote:

I’d nominate him for best KD Lang impersonation as well.

*claps once, so loud Roli immediately wins a Grammy for his cover of Constant Craving*

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#17 Jonathan Willis
April 06 2009, 12:24PM
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Homie wrote:

He deserves consideration for the Oilers MVP and worst haircut for a millionaire, but that’s about it.

I take it that Trump's out of the running because he's entered in the billionaire class?

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#18 Peter Pan
April 06 2009, 12:35PM
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Jonathan Willis wrote:

I take it that Trump’s out of the running because he’s entered in the billionaire class?

Katz would win that one.

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#19 Jason Gregor
April 06 2009, 12:44PM
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humantorch wrote:

Jason Gretor wrote: I think Thomas is the most deserving. His 0.07 GAA and .933 save % is best amongst starters, and most goalies feel that save % is the most accurate stat to evaluate a tenders play. That’s a pretty impressive GAA. Can we trade for him? We wouldn’t even need defencemen.

It should be 2.07...haha...

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#20 Jason Gregor
April 06 2009, 12:57PM
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Peter Pan wrote:

And the Selke is Best Defensive Forward, not sportsmanship. I think you were referring to Lady Byng.

I call it the LBT....not sure why the F I had the names wrong...The selke is another trophy that now doesn't mean what it originally meant...It used to go to defensive forwards...Now it seems to go to guys who are good defensively, but are offensive players who aren't good enough to win an offensive award so they get the Selke.

I'm sure Datsyuk will be in the running for that too.Peter Pan wrote:

Great stuff Jason. But in regards to the Norris, I don’t know how you could leave out Zdeno Chara. He has been a monster all season in long in all three zones. He plays in all special teams situations, millions of minutes, hits, fights, scores, defends… he is the total package. He or Green for Norris, but I’d select Chara.

The power forward turned hockey D-man has been very good, but when you look at Green's numbers it is hard not to pick him. He is +24, and averages over a point a game. Clearly, he isn't as physical as Big Z, but few are. Chara will probably make the top three, but I don't see him winning.

Kent wrote:

Kipper shouldn’t be anywhere near the Vezina this year. And, yes, Im a Flames fan.

Kent, I agree he shouldn't be there, but my three finalists were based a bit on what the league will do. Having Mason the Calder trophy winner, means if they nominate Kiprusoff for the Vezina then they get more top end players to the awards in Vegas.

The league wants as many players at the awards as possible. That is why they changed the venue to Vegas, so it might entice more guys to show up.

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#21 Cam
April 06 2009, 01:11PM
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That love-text to Stoll story is golden. I actually snorted coffee out of my nose.

And in your defense I have sent messages like that to girls as well, so Wanye please feed those crickets to you pet boa constrictor.

Oh... and "go Oilers"

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#22 Chaz
April 06 2009, 01:30PM
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Speaking of helping people with their personal problems, maybe you could try to line up the "Fire Mac T Protesters" who showed up at the game on Saturday with a dating service or something. Those guys need girlfriends, or a hobby, or a life in general. Love the pic of them on the cover of Sunday's Sun. Only a few more games until he steps down fellas. No need to get your panties in a knot...

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#23 Dennis
April 06 2009, 02:45PM
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Props to Gregor for admitting he did but that thumbs down for doing it in the first place!

I like Stoll even more now that he forwarded around that text:)

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#24 Wanye Gretz
April 06 2009, 02:47PM
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@ Chaz:

Now now. We shan't speak ill of fellow Oilers fans who actually got off their asses and did something other than complain.

I for one think that they were treated very poorly by the MSM, which further leads to my vocal hatred of their craft.

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#25 David S
April 06 2009, 03:06PM
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Nice post Jason, as usual.

Just wanted to say thanks for your show on Friday with Brownlee. When you guys started to talk about Brownlee's 16 cigars a day, I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard. You guys should really put up podcasts of the Friday edition of JAG - they're the best.

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#26 Chaz
April 06 2009, 03:34PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: But Wayne, I get off my Ass about 8 times a game. What, did you think the Bud Lights just materialize in my hand?

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#27 Kent
April 06 2009, 03:36PM
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Kent, I agree he shouldn’t be there, but my three finalists were based a bit on what the league will do. Having Mason the Calder trophy winner, means if they nominate Kiprusoff for the Vezina then they get more top end players to the awards in Vegas.

Ahh, fair enough then. Still, it's a travesty if he gets nominated. Flames have won in spite of him this year, not because of him.

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#28 Wanye Gretz
April 06 2009, 04:44PM
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@ Chaz:

Imagine if they did????

*gets to work on beer teleporter. Realizes amount of work ahead, goes and gets beer from fridge and realizes why beer teleporter does not exist*

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#29 Wanye Gretz
April 06 2009, 04:45PM
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@ David S:

OilersNation podcasts. Now there is an idea

*dramatic foreshadowing music goes here*

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#30 Amber McCormick
April 06 2009, 05:07PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Hmmm...a podcast? That would be deserving of dramatic foreshadowing music!!

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#31 Archaeologuy
April 06 2009, 06:23PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ David S: OilersNation podcasts. Now there is an idea *dramatic foreshadowing music goes here*

how does that work? Does Morgan Freeman or James Earl Jones read the posts for my iPod enjoyment? Because I cant wait to hear Darth Vader talk about Corsi numbers and firing his AK in the air.

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#32 Harlie
April 06 2009, 07:51PM
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Gregor why does Rishaug have a Britney Spears song on his ipod? **I think I just barfed in my mouth**

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#33 David S
April 06 2009, 08:44PM
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Harlie wrote:

Gregor why does Rishaug have a Britney Spears song on his ipod? **I think I just barfed in my mouth**

Say what you want about her music, but she's smokin' hot. Again.

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#34 Harlie
April 06 2009, 08:47PM
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a decent read on the EIG takeover from Pocks, the story was written in 1999 http://www.camagazine.com/5/8/9/6/index1.shtml

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#35 Ryan
April 06 2009, 08:56PM
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I can see Stoll taking it well. He's a pretty good look...er, understanding guy.

What?

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#36 Milli
April 06 2009, 08:56PM
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Grogor, that's sweet!!!

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#37 Harlie
April 06 2009, 09:06PM
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@ David S:

i don't mind looking at her but I can't stand anything that comes out of her mouth

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#38 R-DAWG
April 06 2009, 10:08PM
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@ Harlie: If you look like a skid,half baked loser like k-fed you don't really have to worry about whats coming OUT of her mouth...if you get my drift!

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#39 Jason Gregor
April 07 2009, 09:28AM
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Harlie wrote:

Gregor why does Rishaug have a Britney Spears song on his ipod? **I think I just barfed in my mouth**

Rish was very open on the show today. I haven't laughed that hard in awhile.

Does anyone else have a guy buddy who likes to go to chick flicks? Seriously, those stories killed me. When he admitted to doing a powerpoint presentation in college on a girl for a class project I almost cried laughing.

.David S wrote:

Nice post Jason, as usual. Just wanted to say thanks for your show on Friday with Brownlee. When you guys started to talk about Brownlee’s 16 cigars a day, I almost drove off the road I was laughing so hard. You guys should really put up podcasts of the Friday edition of JAG - they’re the best.

It was Thursday, but the 16 cigars from Brownlee is a classic. Who smokes 16 a day?? That's why Brownlee used to be one of the toughest SOBs in the Lacrosse.

And Podcasts of the show should be coming within a month...sweet....

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#40 Harlie
April 07 2009, 01:08PM
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@ Jason Gregor:

yeah that was some good ass radio when Shauger was on! Also I loved the Brownlee cigar stories and his old rockin and rollin days. He'd get along well with an uncle of mine who still live in Van and is a mid-50's year old Bartender. He never touched a cigarette in his life (unless they were green ;) ) but in the last few years he got into the Pom Pom cigars and he chokes back a mittfull of those in a day. Hilarious to see. He's got the personality of the The Dude from the Big Lebowski.

One story I can relay happened about 15 years ago. My Dad was in a panic as he needed to get some items shipped out from Vancouver but a shipping company wouldn't do it quick enough. So he tells me and my little brother to hop in my truck and drive to Van and back with the goods. My Dad said just give Uncle Randy (or Big R as we call him) a call and he'll let us stay overnight at his bachelor pad when we get out there. So me and my brother drive straight out to Van and we leave like 5 message for Big R with no response and no pick up of the phone. He had and still has one of the old school answering machines that picks up the call and puts the message on the speaker so he can monitor and screen his calls (i.e not answer the phone ever).

So we get out to Vancouver and we pull up to his building and we start buzzing his apartment from the entrance area. By now my brother and I are panicked as we haven't gotten through to Big R and daddy never gave us a visa for a hotel so we are screwed if he isn't home. After buzzing 2-3 times and waiting for each buzz to ring as many times as it can before it timed out we hear this groggy voice answer and then buzz us up. Heck we didn't even know what floor he was on and we didn't have a chance to ask him as he just buzzed and the door opened so we ask the Landlord/Manager and she tells what floor and apt number etc. So my brother and I get up to his door and we start knocking on the door but of course NO ANSWER!

So we start to doubt we have the right apartment and were about to turn around when the door opens. There's Big R standing in front of us with a Hefner like crushed velour housecoat and it looks like he just rolled out of bed and by now it was 1:00pm! So Big R looks over my brother and I and then he looks down and sees the two suitcases that we are holding and he asks us if he can help us. He didn't even recognize us! So after explaining who we were and why we were in town he lets us in. So then he says "maybe I should check my answering machine" and we all laughed as his machine ran off like 10 messages from me and my brother and my dad and you could hear the desperation in our voices as each message was left after the other one. So we all have a good laugh over that and then he asks how old we are now. We tell him old enough to drink so he says "ok, I just have 1 rule for you guys when you are here. The rule is there are no rules."

The Dude abides!

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#41 David S
April 07 2009, 03:21PM
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Jason Gregor wrote: And Podcasts of the show should be coming within a month…sweet….

Very sweet! I'm never able to catch more than the last 15 or 20 minutes due to work and always regret it. Oilers Nation JAG podcasts with Gregor and Brownlee will be a great addition.

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