Bad Week= Xanax

Amber McCormick
June 29 2009 09:08AM

stoll-hunter-free

It was a very troubling time in the celebrity world this week. Not sure if you heard or not but Michael Jackson died of cardiac arrest on Thursday afternoon. No, seriously he did. They’ve been keeping it on the down-low out of respect for the family. I found out, of course, through a devastating phone call from Tito and Jermaine. Tito and I are tight. Jermaine and I were once good friends until he named his daughter Jermajesty. After that I refused to do his jheri curl any longer.

Farrah Fawcett passed away Thursday morning after a long and horrible battle with cancer. I’m sure jokes will be made eventually but at this moment I’m not about to make them. Cancer is a terrifying disease and it’s just a little too soon. I feathered my hair as a tribute.

Needless to say Thursday was a surreal day but Wednesday held the biggest surprise. Jarret Stoll called off his wedding to Rachel Hunter through a mass email. Really?! I know that there is a rumour mill hard at work 24/7 but if that is even remotely true, what a coward.

Allegedly, Stoll was kind enough to CC. Hunter on the email sent to celebrity guests such as Sharon Stone, and Michelle Pfeiffer. Again, what a coward. I know a thing or two about finding out your relationship is over via the information super highway. I was dumped on Facebook. Actually, a hundred people knew before I did. I had been away from a computer all day and didn’t find out I was single until later that night when I logged in to find few dozen emails asking me “what happened?” You can’t be prepared for that level of public humiliation.

I’m not worried about Rachel. I’m sure she’ll find a new younger man to take his place. She’s seems to have a penchant for young hockey players. Is Sid single?

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Amber lives in Edmonton. Everyday she tries to do her part in preserving nature. Tomorrow she's pickling squirrels. Amber doesn't sweat the petty thing and she doesn't pet the sweaty things.
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Reply #1 Wanye Gretz June 29 2009, 09:22AM
+1 0 props

RACHEL HUNTER IS SINGLE????

*runs upstairs to borrow his Dad's suit and to book a plane trip to LA*

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Reply #2 humantorch June 29 2009, 09:28AM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

RACHEL HUNTER IS SINGLE???? *runs upstairs to borrow his Dad’s suit and to book a plane trip to LA*

Too late, dude. I've got a date with her tomorrow night. Mrs. Humantorch won't mind.

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Reply #3 Ender the Dragon June 29 2009, 09:29AM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Well, she's dated a professional hockey player so I guess we know that Sean Avery at least won't be standing in your way as a potential suitor.

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Reply #4 RossCreek June 29 2009, 09:39AM
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@ Ender. Sean Avery already dated Rachael Hunter. That was part of his sloppy seconds comment. Bet she never dated someone named Wanye before.

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Reply #5 patty June 29 2009, 09:40AM
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Michael Jackson was a great performer. He touched a lot of people.

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Reply #6 Hemmertime June 29 2009, 09:59AM
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*** YOU MUST FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO 10 WEDDING GUESTS WITHIN ONE HOUR OR BE DOOMED TO BE SINGLE YOURSELVES ***

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Reply #7 Sandra June 29 2009, 10:12AM
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SO Michael Jackson died and Farah Fawcett passed away. Hmm Amber you really do have issues. Maybe you got dumped on face book because you do have issues, or he could not get a visitors pass? Is the strait jacket too tight? when can I visit you in Ponoka?

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Reply #8 Amber June 29 2009, 10:28AM
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@ Hemmertime: Well played

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Reply #9 Hemmertime June 29 2009, 10:29AM
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@ Sandra: She didnt say she killed them. I don't get how they are her issues. I don't expect a Willis article from Amber but a good light read

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Reply #10 OvenChicken8 June 29 2009, 10:32AM
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I can't believe you left out the oxy-clean man himself...

Billy Mays passed away Sunday morning as well :(

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Reply #11 I'm a Scientist! June 29 2009, 10:46AM
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JERRET STOLL IS SINGLE????

*runs upstairs to borrow his dad's suit and to book a plane trip to LA*

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Reply #12 Milli June 29 2009, 10:53AM
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I'm confused, is wayne dating Avery or Rachel?

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Reply #13 Wanye Gretz June 29 2009, 11:02AM
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I'm a Scientist! is on the market too????

*runs back upstairs to get duct tape, rope and map to Scientist!Labs!Inc!*

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Reply #14 I'm a Scientist! June 29 2009, 11:29AM
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*blushes and covers half his face with his lab coat to hide his girlish giggle then runs and hides in the beaker closet*

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Reply #15 Peter Pan June 29 2009, 12:21PM
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I'm a Scientist! wrote:

*blushes and covers half his face with his lab coat to hide his girlish giggle then runs and hides in the beaker closet*

This used to be a cool site...

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Reply #16 Librarian Mike June 29 2009, 12:34PM
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Stoll is a total jerk, but at least he didn't do it by Post-It like the guy on Sex and the City:

I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.

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Reply #17 bingofuel June 29 2009, 12:35PM
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@ Librarian Mike: Sex and the City, huh? I will henceforth ignore all your comments ;)

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Reply #18 Librarian Mike June 29 2009, 12:57PM
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@ bingofuel:

Hahaha. I know, but hey I'm married. It was in the contract. Besides, I got her into Star Trek so it's an even trade.

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Reply #19 I'm a Scientist! June 29 2009, 01:36PM
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Peter Pan wrote:

This used to be a cool site…

Coming from Peter Pan? Wow... Seems like these sorts of comments might be more up your alley now! Say 'Hi' to Tinkerbell for me!

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Reply #20 bingofuel June 29 2009, 01:51PM
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@ Librarian Mike:

STar Trek? I've changed my mind. you, sir, are a testament to the male race. The geeky sub-species of the male race, anyhow.

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Reply #21 I'm a Scientist! June 29 2009, 02:27PM
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*Stops what he is doing...re-reads his post and slaps himself. Gathering a few essential items he runs in a cicle around his lab bench in Science!Labs!Inc! so fast that he is instantly returned to earlier this morning when he first started to type the message about Stoll. Grabbing the keyboard from his earlier self and delivering a debilitating throat punch he types the following instead:*

AMBER McCORMICK IS SINGLE???

*runs upstairs to borrow his dad’s suit and to book a plane trip to LA*

You live in Leduc, Alberta right? should be a short flight...

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Reply #22 Amber June 29 2009, 03:24PM
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@ I'm a Scientist!: Oh stop that! You're giving me a case of the vapours *fans herself*

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Reply #23 Rusty Shackleford June 29 2009, 03:29PM
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There's a lot of single people running around this site...

The internet + singles?!? NooOoooOOo freaking way.

I bet even The Towel Boy didn't see that coming!

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Reply #24 J.L. June 29 2009, 04:38PM
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"But wait, there's more!"

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Reply #25 R-DAWG June 29 2009, 05:26PM
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patty wrote:

Michael Jackson was a great performer. He touched a lot of people.

HA HA, get it!!

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Reply #26 tomn June 29 2009, 08:12PM
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Sweet. Now he will demand a trade to Edmonton from LA to avoid the drama...

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