Cribs n junk

Wanye
June 05 2009 10:55AM

wanyemanor1

Yesterday we were messaged by a buddy who said “Sheldon Souray is selling his house in Edmonton!” Like any good singer/songwriter we immediately shot back “says who? You? Pfft.” But upon further investigation it turns out that it was heard second hand from someone who heard it on JAG with Gregor and Brownlee.

This is very troubling news. Let’s discuss this rumor with the wild speculation and conjecture that befits bored hockey fans shall we?

Souray selling his house in Edmonton

playboymansionEmotional Wanye: Uh WHAT?

Logical Wanye: Easy E.W, this could be like the time you had to make that emergency call to the STD Clinic. This too could be a phantom menace.

Emotional Wanye: But what if it isn’t? What if he is moving? What are we going to DO?

*starts hyperventilating*

Logical Wanye: To be fair E.W you didn’t even hear what was said. There could be a million reasons why Souray would sell his house. Perhaps he is buying a solid gold house. This is a standard move for a hojillionaire Sex God at this stage of his career. Perhaps his existing house doesn’t have a big enough floor safe. Perhaps the grotto out back has a fungus of some sort and he is looking to unload it before it becomes evident and the value of the house falls.

Emotional Wanye: Wait a minute, you aren’t logical Wanye….

(reaches over and peels off Logical Wanye’s face, which turns out to be a mask and reveals a clone of Emotional Wanye crying hysterically.)

Emotional Wanye Clone: There is no time or place for logic in this scenario fool! Didn’t you hear that Big Sexy is moving? Didn’t Brownlee say that he had asked for a trade at the end of the season? Brownlee is never wrong! He always drops hints left and right and it always happens! DON’T YOU SEE WHAT IS GOING ON?

(Emotional Wanye and his clone stare unblinking at one another for a few moments in frozen terror. In the background a much kissed Souray poster falls off the wall and flutters to the ground.)

Sean Avery’s Bentley on Cribs wasn’t his

While we are on the topic of NHL player's cribs we have heard a little tidbit of interest regarding one Sean Avery. It seems that when Avery had his LA house on MTV Cribs he showed a Bentley he claimed as his own. The thing of it is - it wasn’t his car at all. Pretending to own a Bentley? Is this how you were raised Sean Avery? For shame.

In the absence of being able to find YouTube footage of Sean Avery on Cribs we have included what did come up on YouTube when we searched "Avery&Cribs" in the video above. That clip tells basically the same story and illustrates the point we are trying to make which is this:

This is the second time that Cribs has disappointed us severely with false claims of ownership. The first time was when Ja Rule had probably one of the best Cribs segments ever.

Crazy Ja Rule Cribs segment

Look at that episode! Jay Z arriving by motor yacht! Vin Diesel wearing a hilarious tank top/track suit combination! A guy in the pantry named Cookie! Problem was – it wasn’t his crib. It was rented and Ja Rule was later sued for destroying the house:

The 8,000 square foot home was rented in May of 2001 for the Memorial Day weekend and Ja Rule allegedly threw a lavish party that left holes in (the) walls, broken doors, destroyed furniture, cracked tile in her driveway and numerous syringes and condom wrappers all over. During that weekend MTV filmed the entire home for an episode of MTV Cribs profiling the home as Ja Rule’s “Miami” residence. Under the alleged rental agreement the residence was to be used for four days with a maximum of eight people staying on the premise. Instead more than 600 people arrived by bus, boat and other means of transportation the lawsuit says.

The point in all of this - and trust us there is a point - is that Sheldon Souray's crib is all of a sudden of the utmost importance to us.  He isn't some douchebag that will be soon forgotten like Ja Rule or Sean Avery.  He is an important piece of the puzzle going forward round these parts and let's hope the only reason his house is for sale is because he is looking to upgrade his joint.

'Cause if he does get dealt.....

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 Ogden Brother
June 05 2009, 10:56AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I've seen that pic 100's, but it's still as funny today as it was back then.

Avatar
#2 Wanye Gretz
June 05 2009, 11:00AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Ogden Brother:

Really? I haven't seen it before. Here I thought I was going to be all original.

I bet you haven't seen that footage of the toddler climbing out of the crib though right?

*redemption*

Avatar
#3 Prop Jay
June 05 2009, 11:19AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Holla Holla!!.

You f'n wit Ja nada what you wana go dolla fo dolla.

Holla Holla!!

Avatar
#4 Ogden Brother
June 05 2009, 11:23AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Ogden Brother: Really? I haven’t seen it before. Here I thought I was going to be all original. I bet you haven’t seen that footage of the toddler climbing out of the crib though right? *redemption*

Pfffft, I helped film it.

Avatar
#5 Prop Jay
June 05 2009, 11:23AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Seriously though If souray is dealt I don't know what I would do. Cry perhaps. Demand frolov comes back. Hope it is the 5th pick in return.

I will be crushed just like I was when smyth was dealt. I see the value of souray now is at its peak but I have a serious nmc (non sexual man crush) on souray and am not sure I can survive another blow by trade, especially if it is just nilsson and whatever his name was (o'marra) all over again.

Avatar
#6 scorcoff hemmercules
June 05 2009, 11:39AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I don't expect Souray to be on the team next season, when he skipped the final interviews this year I knew he was all but done here. I get the feeling our defense will score lots next season but be quite weak in our own end.

Avatar
#7 jeanshorts
June 05 2009, 11:45AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I don't want to be a dream crusher here Wanye, but a lot of rappers don't actually own most of the crap they roll around with. Cars, jewelry, houses, most of it is just rented for videos and photoshoots and red carpets, what have you. They don't blow up, they just show up.

Avatar
#8 Boris
June 05 2009, 11:47AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

He's just buying a different house, He's just buying a different house, He's just buying a different house.....Please Please Please just be buying a different house.

Avatar
#9 Wanye Gretz
June 05 2009, 11:48AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ jeanshorts:

I hardly expect half these rappers to be able to actually fly around in a G5 jet. Saying they do is enough for me.

But in this instance it was a powerhouse rapper who was arguably the hottest at the time. He should be able to floss like a boss.

Avatar
#10 Shifty203
June 05 2009, 11:49AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Just a complete, hypotherical guess, no facts at all, but with all the lecavalier rumors, could you see souray being involved in a package for Vinny? Could tampa use a defenceman like souray? Maybe packaged with cogliano, and our 1st round pick?

Avatar
#11 Archaeologuy
June 05 2009, 11:49AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

He's looking for a house, I'm looking for a room mate. There, I fixed the problem.

You're Welcome.

Avatar
#12 JRocks247
June 05 2009, 11:50AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I really don't like the sound of this There had better be ALOT coming back if Souray goes...top 5 draft pick, first line LW, Meagan Fox...

Avatar
#13 Wanye Gretz
June 05 2009, 11:55AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Shifty203: @ JRocks247:

The list of warning signs is getting longer by the minute:

1. Brownlee (knows all sees all) says Souray may potentially have asked for a trade. 2. Souray skips season ending presser 3. Souray insists he doesn't want trade 4. Oilers looking to make a splash with Top 6 forward and have new coaches and GM looking to put their mark on the team 5. Oilers have an abundance of puck moving defenseman 6. Oilers one of few teams with uber rich owner who remains uber rich and is looking to spend 7. Since missing out on Hossa Katz has yet to sign "his star player"

Avatar
#14 Boris
June 05 2009, 11:58AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Shifty203: Not Cogs, that is too much but how about they get Shelly for Vinny but they have to take MAP and Bobby too. Don't want to see Shelly go but....

Avatar
#15 scorcoff hemmercules
June 05 2009, 12:04PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Shifty203:

Most of what I have been reading says the Kings are the front runners for Vinny with Jack Johnson+ going to Tampa. Souray isn't getting any younger but I still think its a possibility if Tampa is looking for a solid dman.

@ Wanye Gretz:

#1 on your list is all I need to know he's probably outta here, its scary how right Brownlee is most of the time. That said, this team will have a new look next season and maybe (hopefully!) Souray wants to be part of that.

Avatar
#16 Greg MC
June 05 2009, 12:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Sheldon is a fun player to watch, I will miss him. I know he is still Oilers property, but if the team can be improved by moving him, go for it.

Avatar
#17 Prop Jay
June 05 2009, 12:09PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@Wanye

Who do YOU think/want back in return?

Like I said previously Frolov, 5th pick or something like that would be all I would accept. - as if it matters.

Avatar
#18 rickithebear
June 05 2009, 12:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I thought I was looking at the motoraunt!

http://ugonnaeatthat.com/2008/03/10/edmonton-a-burger-the-size-of-my-head/

Damn you wayne! I will be drooling for hours.

Souray one of 6 top 60 in all key categories.

Lose him replace him with Seidenberg top 60 in all key categories plus top 60 in hits and blocks. Only he and Chara

Avatar
#19 Chamucks Delux
June 05 2009, 12:25PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

we're creepier fans than Montreal.

CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Avatar
#20 Alan
June 05 2009, 12:27PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Speaking of cribs, did you see the lame on from Gilbert on his blog on Oiler site. I like Gilbert but his blog is second worst only in lameness to Tencer.

Avatar
#21 f@tD@ddY
June 05 2009, 12:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Prop Jay wrote:

@Wanye Who do YOU think/want back in return? Like I said previously Frolov, 5th pick or something like that would be all I would accept. - as if it matters.

I'd go for Frolov, Greene, and the 5th for Souray, Nilsson, and the 10th.

Avatar
#22 Jason Gregor
June 05 2009, 12:33PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Souray didn't talk at year end presser because he didn't want to have to answer questions regarding his coach again. Souray had some concerns with coaching and those have obviously been rectified with a new staff.

His house being on the market is not a guarantee he'll be moved. Ethan Moreau has had his house on the market for over a year, and he doesn't want out.

If anything, Tom Gilbert should be worried. When the GM comes out and gives his coach the "He isn't going anywhere his job is safe," or when the owner sends out a text "MacT isn't going anywhere," they always end up getting canned.

It happens a lot with single guys who buy houses. Gilbert might have jinxed himself with the proverbial "buy a house I'll be here for awhile" thought process.

Maybe that is why he is talking about it on his blog...He wants to get the jump on a bad market right now, so people know about all the upgrades he did.

***Wonders quietly how many we actually believe the last sentance***

Avatar
#23 MattN
June 05 2009, 12:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Here is a thought. Maybe Souray wants out of town because of the creepy, stalker fans who get into his personal life every time he makes a statement or appears in public. How about we just step away from the bushes, put down the duct tape and go back to our unfinished basement suite.

Avatar
#24 Librarian Mike
June 05 2009, 12:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I wouldn't worry too much Wanye. Maybe Souray is just going to live in the river valley like Rambo as a lesson to the younger players on what real men do.

As for Sean Avery pretending to own a Bentley, isn't it interesting that he's using someone else's slop...

Avatar
#25 Prop Jay
June 05 2009, 12:46PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Jason Gregor:

but but but gilbert just bought a house

Avatar
#26 Hoodlum
June 05 2009, 12:53PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I saw Souray at the Lakers game last night, could be California bound

Avatar
#27 Cam
June 05 2009, 12:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

If Souray gets dealt I have a feeling that what is coming the other way will be pretty freakin good so I am not too worried Either way. I have an nmc on Souray too, but...

And I think Lecavalier is a great player and all, but he costs too much.

Avatar
#28 Travis Dakin
June 05 2009, 01:05PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz wrote:

The list of warning signs is getting longer by the minute: 1. Brownlee (knows all sees all) says Souray may potentially have asked for a trade. 2. Souray skips season ending presser 3. Souray insists he doesn’t want trade 4. Oilers looking to make a splash with Top 6 forward and have new coaches and GM looking to put their mark on the team 5. Oilers have an abundance of puck moving defenseman 6. Oilers one of few teams with uber rich owner who remains uber rich and is looking to spend 7. Since missing out on Hossa Katz has yet to sign “his star player”

The rest of my soul just died inside. Don't take big sexy away from me. I just... I can't... It's all too much... *cries so many tears into keyboard which causes it to short circuit so he can't finish the sentance and also gives him a pants sh*tting sized electrical jolt which short circuits his brain so he mercifully can't continue the horrible thought of losing his one true love*

Avatar
#29 Travis Dakin
June 05 2009, 01:06PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hoodlum wrote:

I saw Souray at the Lakers game last night, could be California bound

You shut your damn mouth. You lie! Why would you do that to me man? Lets get drunk now. Seriously I want to drink.

Avatar
#30 Death Metal Nightmare
June 05 2009, 01:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Souray for Dustin Brown (yeah right).

and Wanye Manor looks killer to have a party at even if its the best thing white trash ever built.

Avatar
#31 West Coast Oil
June 05 2009, 01:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Souray is gone I saw a Todd McFarlane figurine of Souray last night and last time I saw an Oiler figurine in Vancouver it was Pronger. The Omen has spoken time to be sad

Avatar
#32 RossCreek
June 05 2009, 01:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Souray, Nilsson & 10th for Frolov, Priessing & 5th. With Pat Quinn involved, I could see the Oil coveting Evander Kane around the 4/5 spot.

Avatar
#33 Librarian Mike
June 05 2009, 01:20PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

RossCreek wrote:

Souray, Nilsson & 10th for Frolov, Priessing & 5th. With Pat Quinn involved, I could see the Oil coveting Evander Kane around the 4/5 spot.

Hmm. I could live with that (sorry Travis). I have no idea what kind of player Kane is, but at least his name is manly.

Avatar
#34 Ian Phillipchuk
June 05 2009, 01:23PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

If Souray is moving the other way, we can assume that either a top 5 pick this year is coming out way, or a very good player as part of a deal for Souray + others.

Would anyone (not colored by NMC's) really complain if we packaged up Souray, Cogliano, and a 3rd rounder this year for Lecalvalier, 2 2nds (2009/2010) and a goalie prospect?

Avatar
#35 B-rad
June 05 2009, 01:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

you physically seen him...or thought you seen him on TV? and drinking sounds really promising right now....

@ Travis Dakin:

Avatar
#36 Hoodlum
June 05 2009, 01:28PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Travis Dakin: I only lie to hot girls to get them to do things to me Travis, and you will refer to me the same way as those such girls do......Dr. Hoodlum

Avatar
#37 RossCreek
June 05 2009, 01:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

As for the draft, I'm liking what I read about Kane, Schenn & Paajarvi-Svensson. I like that Duchene kid too! I wouldn't feel too bad if I were the Avs sitting with the 3 pick. What I am certain of: if Hedman was a 6-6 Canadian defenseman with the same ability, he would surely be picked 1st, no?

Avatar
#38 Hoodlum
June 05 2009, 01:30PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ B-rad: they actually put the camera on Zac Efron, and Souray was siting behind him

Avatar
#39 Travis Dakin
June 05 2009, 01:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

....Hoodlum wrote:

@ Travis Dakin: I only lie to hot girls to get them to do things to me Travis, and you will refer to me the same way as those such girls do……Dr. Hoodlum

Funny I do the same thing with alcohol....

Now about that....

Avatar
#40 Milli
June 05 2009, 01:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

If the players coming back were worth it, then great. But, he was the BEST OILER last season, and there are a few Dmen i'd rather see go first. But, if he does, I say we banish the number 44 from Etown....Not just shirts but no seat 44 row 44 no 44 dollar beer no 44th street no $44 hookers....All I'm sayinig

Avatar
#41 Travis Dakin
June 05 2009, 01:32PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hoodlum wrote:

@ B-rad: they actually put the camera on Zac Efron, and Souray was siting behind him

So that is what that explosion was last night... Your TV had a sexy overload and blew up!

Avatar
#42 Hoodlum
June 05 2009, 01:34PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Travis Dakin: Dude, I am sooooooo hungover. I haven't had a hangover like this sinse......Monday. Unemploynent is turning me into a borderline (and I use that term loosely) alcoholic

Avatar
#43 Hoodlum
June 05 2009, 01:36PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Travis Dakin: Yes, that is gay Travis

Avatar
#44 Travis Dakin
June 05 2009, 01:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hoodlum wrote:

@ Travis Dakin: Dude, I am sooooooo hungover. I haven’t had a hangover like this sinse……Monday. Unemploynent is turning me into a borderline (and I use that term loosely) alcoholic

Damn economy.

Avatar
#45 RossCreek
June 05 2009, 01:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Post 44

Avatar
#46 Hoodlum
June 05 2009, 01:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Prop Jay: English man.....

Avatar
#47 RossCreek
June 05 2009, 01:43PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

D'oh!

Avatar
#48 Travis Dakin
June 05 2009, 01:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ RossCreek: sorry.

Avatar
#49 Chad
June 05 2009, 01:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Hoodlum wrote:

I saw Souray at the Lakers game last night, could be California bound

UHHH don't read so much into this.... Souray lives and trains in California in the off season does he not.

Avatar
#50 Wanye Gretz
June 05 2009, 02:07PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Librarian Mike wrote:

I wouldn’t worry too much Wanye. Maybe Souray is just going to live in the river valley like Rambo as a lesson to the younger players on what real men do.

That is a ray of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day.

Prop Jay wrote:

@Wanye Who do YOU think/want back in return?

You know, no one has ever asked my opinion on something like that here on the Nation....

*sits back in satisfaction on being asked a question. Is so satisfied with self he completely forgets to answer said question*

Comments are closed for this article.