Las Vegas gaming and starting to look to next season

Wanye
July 21 2009 02:30PM

Now that we are approaching 45 hours since we stopped partying as though our life somehow depended on it, we can start to reset our brain-o-meter from “Vegas” to “reality.” For those of you who were fortunate enough not to be subjected to our drunken Twittering we went down to LV as part of a 31 man crew, in town to celebrate three simultaneous bachelor parties. We gambled, drank like the Russian Navy on temporary shore leave, unsuccessfully tried to bargain with Ladies of the Night and generally behaved like the type of degenerates that have allowed Steve Wynn’s bank account to swell up bigger than Dustin Penner in the offseason.

Go figure

As part of our vacation we placed our 5th annual bet on the Oilers to win the Cup. We can tell you that the Bitter Disappointment of 2006© was impossibly magnified by the $10 bet ticket that was on our fridge the entire season. It just sat there for almost 9 whole months, judging us. “All it takes is one Cup win Wanye and this rich bounty of 500 plus dollars is all yours.” We alternately yelled and kissed that ticket as the season wore on, until the climactic drunken-tearing-into-shreds post G7 loss.

But this article isn’t about the disappointment of 2006 – it’s analyzing the possible disappointment of 2010.

Placing the bet

betting

Saturday afternoon we walked up to the Sports Book at the MGM Grand to place our $20 bet on the Oilers to win the Stanley Cup. We were shocked – shocked!- that the NHL odds for next season weren’t occupying a prominenent place on the immense odds board being scrutinized by the gambling zombies in attendance. A wide swath of society had turned out to place sports wagers - from the dangerously skinny to the morbidly obese, from all walks of life and every economic station on the line. There they were, milling about and bathed in the warm glow of screen after screen of betting odds.

Once we had made it to the front of the startingly long line, we demanded to place our bet on the Edmonton Oilers to win the Stanley Cup in the 2009-10 season. “The who?” asked the bored lady sitting in the betting cage. “Why the greatest team on Earth my good woman – the Edmonton Oilers” we calmly replied. “Don’t y’all wanna see the odds list first?” she helpfully queried. “Ma’am,” we countered, “simply take this American Currency and place it directly on the shoulders of one Mr. Pat Quinn and one Mr. Tom Renney. It's going to be OK I can assure you.”

“So ya’ll, basically throwing y’all money away?” our newly minted mortal enemy absently asked as she punched the requisite information into her computer. Shocked at her ignorant attitude we tried to explain the sheer genius of the wager. “Well see, what you need to remember is th-” we began before being interrupted. “Cawse at thirty-five to one y’all placing your money on a lawngshawt…”

It was at this point – when a lady whose very employment depends on people placing risky bets calling us out – that we launched into a rant describing of the long road to ruin the Oil have been on of late and made attempts to tell this uninterested stranger how the Vegas odds are incalculably wrong. “Listen honey” the lady drawled, after humoring our impassioned pleas on behalf of a team half a world away, “I just take these here bets, I don’t make them odds.”

It got us to thinking

As we walked away with our betting ticket for next season we started to wonder what a reasonable expectation for next season will be for the Mighty Oilers. Don’t get us wrong – if you ask us how the Oilers are going to do next year we would shout “82-0 BITCH and four straight sweeps right to the Cup!” Then we would laugh heartily and fondly imagine some sort of parallel universe where the Oil are capable of this feat while furiously rubbing a rabbit’s foot for luck.

If someone dares to take exception with our prediction or sadly pats us on the shoulder, we will immediately punch them square in the face. But sometimes late at night, when we lie in our bed beneath the warmth of our Hanna Montana bedspread, we secretly wonder what a reasonable expectation for next year will be.

Really how good can we expect the Oil to actually be next season?

expectations

We always have the highest expectations – and rarely if ever do any of them fall short. But when it comes to the Oilers this season we are caught in a bit of a quandary. Last summer we were over optimistic – fresh off a barn burning run featuring nary a single Oilers veteran player. “Look at all these super rookies!” we can remember excitedly exclaiming to the Nation, “It’s a wonder that four separate Oilers aren’t nominated for the Calder Trophy this season!” Then we would laugh heartily and furiously rub a rabbit’s foot for luck.

This offseason we are dejectedly over pessimistic – or so the hope goes. We can't understand how a team that was picked by some to win the division last year could so spectacularly mess the bed down the stretch to miss the playoffs. There is seemingly little fire in the belly of these 23 professionals. The entire time Dany Heatley was kicking our fair Team in the face, did you see any of the multi-millionaires currently employed by the Oilers publicly coming to the defense of the team?

How about you Shawn Horcoff? Did you come out and say “we will be fine without Heatley. Trust me and my $192 million dollar contract?.”

No.

And you Captain Ethan Moreau. Were you holding a press conference the next day to discuss how wonderful the team is going to be next season regardless of a blockbuster trade?

Right.

Rest assured we are firmly in our seat at the front of the Oilers bandwagon. Even if they go 15-65-0-2 we will faithfully watch every game and spew venomous bile from our seats high up in RX1. If they go 65-15-0-2 we will sass talk that bastard TLP within an inch of his very life and proudly go about town telling anyone who will listen that "we knew it all along."

Perhaps it’s time to start thinking about reasonable expectations for 2009-2010.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Wanye Gretz
July 22 2009, 09:45AM
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Ogden Brother wrote:

Bottom feeders: Coyotes/Preds/Colorado

If there is one thing that is clear at this point in the offseason, it's that these teams are going to be eleven shades of suck next year.

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#52 Milli
July 22 2009, 09:50AM
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What a diference a year makes. But hey, there is no way we miss this year, who are we the Flames????? Missing 7 years in a row!!!!! No way, we slide safely into 6th. I still believe that Tambo will be dealing one of our top 4 Dmen for some help up front. And Wayne, I will be taking those odds on my October trip to the land of all things SIN!!!!!!!

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#53 Wanye Gretz
July 22 2009, 09:54AM
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@ Milli:

Milli is easily one of my favorite fellow Oilers fans on the planet Earth.

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#54 Soup
July 22 2009, 10:49AM
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Predictions for the NW

Calgary - bolstered by the fine additions of d-men offset by the loss of goal scoring, C-town leads the league in goals against, Kipper is the third leading scorer, the crease in Iginla's forehead is pounded flat by repeated face palms while he rants "I want some calimari." 2nd in the NW, 7th in the west.

Vancouver - November rolls in with Lou on the shelf for 3 months after he pulls his groin. This time, in public - thus the three month jail term. Sedin's complete the sex change to truly become the 'sistas' while their PIMs go through the roof, mostly for clutching and grabbing. Vigs fired in Feb when the team is dead last, replaced by MacT, the Nucks go on an improbable run of 20 straight wins playing nothing but rookies only to find themselves 1 point shy of the playoffs. 4th in the NW, 9th in the west.

Minni - New found ability to swing for the fences from the offense side makes for a fun year. Forwards go for it like Ophra on an ham, but forget where their own net is. Backstrom sues for non-support as evidenced by his suddenly shocking .800 save percentage. Havlat, oddly enough, gets hurt and misses all but the first 4 games of the season. 3rd in the NW, 8th in the div.

Colorado - Joe Sakic, Peter Forsberg, Patrick Roy and Ray Bourque all come out of retirement to play for the might Avs. Denver hit with a freak snow storm in November that lasts until Feb, and 13 players report a string of injuries ranging from fingers in snow blowers, toungues stuck to goal pipes and frostbit nether-regions from writing their names in the snow. 5th in the NW, 15th in the west.

Oil - trade for Heatley is consumated but this time for Penner, Staois, Gilbert and Shremp, Jagr is pried loose from Siberia, Ryan Smythe is traded back home for Moureau, Pisani and clippings from Sourays last hair cut. League passes a 'no hitting hobbits' rule and Gagner, Cogs, Nils, POS and Brule all have career years. Smac is promoted to the first line where he comes second in league scoring to none other than R. Shremp in Ottawa. Khabi not only leads the league in save percentage, but taking matters into his own hands, becomes the Oil top face off man for defensive zone draws. 1st in the NW, 3rd in the west, losing a hard fought battle in the conference final to Columbus. After the season, Hossa requests a trade to Edm so he has a real shot at a cup.

BOOK IT! Pass the kool-aid.

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#55 smiliegirl15
July 22 2009, 10:55AM
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Soup wrote:

After the season, Hossa requests a trade to Edm so he has a real shot at a cup.

No No! I don't want the Hossa curse on my beloved Oilers!!!

Thanks for that post Soup - a genuine laugh out loud moment! I'm sure people wonder what the hell I do in my office.

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#56 Soup
July 22 2009, 11:05AM
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smiliegirl15 wrote:

No No! I don’t want the Hossa curse on my beloved Oilers!!!

Don't worry. Oilers turn down the offer from Hossa as they have become the defacto place to be for free agents after their improbable cup run. Too mazny otions, not enough spots on an incredibly deep roster.

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#57 DanMan
July 22 2009, 11:22AM
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The thing with the flamers is that they don't have the depth we have up front of on d.

Jokinen and Iginla are quite a bit superior to Horc and Hemsky. Thier next best forward is Langkow who, to me, is capable of falling off the side of the earth any day now (some Edmonton-born players seem to become vastly overrated in this neck of the woods). Bourque and Glencross are marginal 2nd liners, good 3rd liners. Guys like Moss, Dawes, and Nystrom should progress a bit, but I don't see any of those guys replacing Cammalleri's 39 goals.

On the back end they signed a 40 point d-man with a Tom Gilbert-like physical presence for a $6.6 mil cap hit. I'm fine with that, it's usually the Oilers who would make that kind of massive overpayment. (I'm sure some of you will blame the 40 points on Florida, but Mark Striet got 62 on Long Island, so that argument doesn't work). Their top-4 is nice, but any injury and they are in serious trouble.

Which Kiprusoff plays this year? Are they actually gonna cut his games back and play McElhenny 25 +?

I think Calgary is an overrated team that will not win the divvy this year.

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#58 The Towel Boy
July 22 2009, 11:30AM
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@ RossCreek:

Haha...yeah...wtf. Why did I write 6th in the Northwest? I meant Batmansymbol-th in the CareBear Countdown Division.

...yeah...6th in the WEST...that was supposed to say.

I'm busy, I don't have time to proof read my stuff OK!

*scurries off back underneath the mound of paper on his desk*

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#59 Hemmertime
July 22 2009, 11:30AM
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@ DanMan: 6.1 cap hit for Bouw

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#60 Travis Dakin
July 22 2009, 11:42AM
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The Towel Boy wrote:

Haha…yeah…wtf. Why did I write 6th in the Northwest? I meant Batmansymbol-th in the CareBear Countdown Division. …yeah…6th in the WEST…that was supposed to say. I’m busy, I don’t have time to proof read my stuff OK!

Wow dude, that time in the wilderness has really scrambled your brain. I am just completely incapable of what you are talking about in this post.

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#61 The Towel Boy
July 22 2009, 12:04PM
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@ Travis Dakin:

*shakes spear at Travis Dakin, shouts loud grunts and then straightens loin cloth and runs off into the woods*

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#62 Wanye Gretz
July 22 2009, 12:25PM
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*watches Towel Boy run off screaming, is glad he only lost all his money on HIS vacation*

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#63 TV
July 22 2009, 01:10PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

@ DanMan: 6.1 cap hit for Bouw

Actually, JBo's Cap Hit = $6.680

When it comes to the Red Menace & $$$... The more the merrier, I say !!!

x6

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#64 cambosmash
July 22 2009, 01:34PM
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Yessss. My one vote for Grebs being a good deal is now 50-50 with Wanye's one vote. Best +/- on the team's blueline two years running without being sheltered does not equal a goat.

Dany Heatley's different coloured eyes do equal a goat.

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#65 jeanshorts
July 22 2009, 01:50PM
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Soup wrote:

replaced by MacT, the Nucks go on an improbable run of 20 straight wins playing nothing but rookies only to find themselves 1 point shy of the playoffs.

hahahaha. It still stings but man that's funny.

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#66 Wanye Gretz
July 22 2009, 01:58PM
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@ cambosmash:

How did you know I voted that it was a bad deal?

*slinks of into the corner and glares at the poll*

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#67 Bar Qu
July 22 2009, 02:19PM
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@Wanye,

Judging by the hate going on on the Oilogosphere for the Bulin wall, perhaps you should amend your goat-ing towards a more dislikable target?

Just a thought, and the last coherent one I have 'til the end of August.

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#68 Wanye Gretz
July 22 2009, 02:38PM
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@ Bar Qu:

I already cried about that one too. My dislike for the Grebeshkovian One extends back two seasons now.

I pick a goat player each season and I try to keep my disdain to that one guy. It ends up that I blame everything on him the entire season.

Observe:

Great move making Heatley not allow a trade to the Oilers DENIS.

*ahhh*

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#69 OvenChicken8
July 22 2009, 02:49PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Something tells me Cole is behind the whole Heatley disaster :P

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#70 ronaldo
July 22 2009, 02:58PM
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New goat this season = Barry Stafford. Just because I've blamed everyone else already. Oilers finish 2nd overall this year or it's Stafford's fault. "Dam you Stafford!!!" Feels good already.

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#71 Wanye Gretz
July 22 2009, 03:04PM
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@ OvenChicken8:

That Erik Cole Star pick was worse than my 2007 pick of Smyth.

DAMN LUCK

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#72 Garett
July 22 2009, 03:10PM
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Eklund's Dog Burt is gonna probably die, (E5)...Wow, nice post Eklund, hope your subscribers don't mind paying $20 every 6 months for Eklunds's dog Burt updates...Brutal!

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#73 DK0
July 22 2009, 03:11PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Dear god Wanye, please pick someone craptacular for your Star this year so fate can decide to remove them from the team. Maybe you can pick Staios, I think I'd rather see Peckham in the lineup for 585k this year then Staios's mind bottling 2.8 mil.

hehe, quality blades of glory quote: Chazz: Mind-bottling, isn't it? Jimmy: Did you just say mind-bottling? Chazz: Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle?

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#74 Garett
July 22 2009, 03:12PM
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Eklund's rumor chart update.

Burt will go to:

Doggy heaven-90% Doggy hell-2% Doggy purgatory-8%

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#75 ronaldo
July 22 2009, 03:16PM
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Does this mean Burt has a 97% chance of living forever?

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#76 DanMan
July 22 2009, 03:23PM
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DK0 wrote:

Maybe you can pick Staios, I think I’d rather see Peckham in the lineup for 585k this year then Staios’s mind bottling 2.8 mil.

About damn time someone said it.

I would also like Schremp at $ 700,000 than Nilsson at $ 2,200,000.

An interesting one for the advanced stats guys. Schremp had the highest P/60 minutes on the team last year.

But, as we all know, Robbie Schremp "sucks".

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#77 Garett
July 22 2009, 03:26PM
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With Burt the Dog passing, that should raise Eklunds success rate to slightly above 0.5%. Where there is a negativen if u look hard enough you may find some positive in it!

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#78 Shannon
July 22 2009, 03:27PM
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Garett wrote:

Eklund’s rumor chart update. Burt will go to: Doggy heaven-90% Doggy hell-2% Doggy purgatory-8%

Okay, that's just wrong ... and really, really funny!

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#79 smiliegirl15
July 22 2009, 03:33PM
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@ Garett: Now don't damn the poor dog to anywhere other than Heaven just because he has the misfortune of being owned by Ekland. All dogs go to heaven you know - didn't you see the movie!?

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#80 DK0
July 22 2009, 03:38PM
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CHAAAAARRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!

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#81 Garett
July 22 2009, 03:41PM
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I know, but Eklund is hoping he ends up in purgatory so he can hang out in the realm of the living and "Fetch" better rumors for him than Eklunds other sources.They have not brought back the "Bone" often enough!

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#82 CHARLIE
July 22 2009, 03:41PM
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Yes?

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#83 DK0
July 22 2009, 03:45PM
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@ CHARLIE: Charlie...you can never come back...you can never come back...

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#84 CHARLIE
July 22 2009, 03:53PM
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@ DK0: But I can do a good deed. What if I "take care" of that Heatley character?

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#85 Ogden Brother
July 22 2009, 03:54PM
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"the Islanders have signed free agent goaltender Martin Biron to a one-year, $1.4 million steal of a deal, The Post has learned."

Great job Tambo!!

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#86 bingofuel
July 22 2009, 03:54PM
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Doesn't it matter to any of you that the Taco Bell dog is dead?

http://www.examiner.com/x-9044-Exotic-Car-Examiner~y2009m7d22-Celebrity-Taco-Bell-Dog-Dies-Small-dogs-favorite-pampered-pet-to-travel-in-luxury-and-exotic-cars

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#87 CHARLIE
July 22 2009, 03:56PM
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@ bingofuel: bingofuel wrote:

the Taco Bell dog is dead

Bitch.

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#88 Nick Dynasty
July 22 2009, 04:02PM
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Ogden Brother wrote:

“the Islanders have signed free agent goaltender Martin Biron to a one-year, $1.4 million steal of a deal, The Post has learned.” Great job Tambo!!

Bet Rolli wishes he had re-signed here now. Maybe he'll know what it's like to be JDD next year.

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#89 Hemmertime
July 22 2009, 04:07PM
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@ Nick Dynasty: Roli next in line for GM position, hes all smiles

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#90 David S
July 22 2009, 06:13PM
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DanMan wrote:

An interesting one for the advanced stats guys. Schremp had the highest P/60 minutes on the team last year.

Which would have meant something if he played more a single digit's worth of games.

Other than that, you're right. Schremp sucks.

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#91 David S
July 22 2009, 06:14PM
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"than a" single digit's worth of games.

Oh for a preview option. •sigh•

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#92 RLH
July 22 2009, 09:06PM
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Wait, they make Hanna Montana bedspreads! Woohoo! Thanks, Wanye, now I know what to buy my daughter for her birthday.

Wait, uh, hockey?

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#93 Tim
July 22 2009, 10:45PM
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DanMan wrote:

An interesting one for the advanced stats guys. Schremp had the highest P/60 minutes on the team last year.

Just more proof that that is a useless stat. Taking what a player does and then multiplying it by 60 minutes assuming he will automatically produce the same is ridiculous in my mind...

Look what he did in the AHL last year! He is lazy plain and simple. If he decides to work harder he could be decent, if he doesn't it won't matter who the coach is.

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#94 DanMan
July 23 2009, 12:25AM
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@ Tim:

Hey Tim, here's some news for you:

There are two "lazy" players being inducted in the hockey hall of fame this year:

Brett Hull and Luc Robitaille.

MacT hated lazy players, but if they create offense, it's worth having them in the lineup.

Are you ever going to lose a game because of Rob Schremp's laziness? No

But you might win a game because of the offense he creates.

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#95 DanMan
July 23 2009, 12:31AM
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@ Tim:

Tim wrote:

Look what he did in the AHL last year! He is lazy plain and simple. If he decides to work harder he could be decent, if he doesn’t it won’t matter who the coach is.

This one bugs me too. Springfield was a disaster last year, I don't think we should be splitting hairs on the impact he had down there.

Also, I don't understand how you can determine he is lazy after 6 NHL games.

And explain how he is lazy. Is it that he doesn't take minor penalties on the backcheck like "Compete-Level King" Ethan Moreau? Is that a bad thing.

Some players with vision may appear to be playing lazy, when in fact they are putting themselves in a better position for the transition of puck-posession.

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#96 Milli
July 23 2009, 09:32AM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Thanks, Wanye....U mean the world to me too!!!

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#97 David S
July 23 2009, 10:09AM
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Let's not devolve yet another thread into the Schremp black hole. The guy is soft and slow. Pretty much the opposite of what Quinn and Tambellini want for the team this year. If he busted his tail in Springfield and stood out amongst a weak crop of players, you might have a point. But he didn't and you don't.

Unless a new crop of Schremp Youtube hi-light videos is released between now and training camp, he's done.

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#98 Chaz
July 23 2009, 11:22AM
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@ David S: Agreed. Schremp is a Smurf with no heart, and he can't skate. Now if only the Team 1260 would stop playing that stupid clip of him talking about the fact he can't skate.....Actually it's better than the clip of Bob McGowan talking about the Commisioner's role. "His....role....is....to....build....the...game.."

Nice staccato delivery Bob....you...loser.

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#99 DanMan
July 23 2009, 12:24PM
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@ Chaz:

Schremp wont get many breakaways (not because of his speed, anyway, broken plays happen), i get that. But he's more playmaker than scorer. Playmakers dont need to have speed.

I think speed is the most overrated skill at the NHL level. There just aren't many goals scored off the rush anymore. I would rather have players with vision and creativity that can set-up in the offensive zone and put the puck in the right places.

Speed or no speed (and the difference isnt even that big, Cogliano played with Penner last year and it wasn't a disaster), the guys creates offence.

And no heart? What exactly are you basing that on? Please explain.

I hope you don't just regurgitate what MacT tells you.

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#100 DanMan
July 23 2009, 12:26PM
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@ DanMan:

5'11" 200 isn't exactly a smurf, in fact he is bigger than half of our forwards.

You must have a raging hate-on for Schremp.

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