Las Vegas gaming and starting to look to next season

Wanye
July 21 2009 02:30PM

Now that we are approaching 45 hours since we stopped partying as though our life somehow depended on it, we can start to reset our brain-o-meter from “Vegas” to “reality.” For those of you who were fortunate enough not to be subjected to our drunken Twittering we went down to LV as part of a 31 man crew, in town to celebrate three simultaneous bachelor parties. We gambled, drank like the Russian Navy on temporary shore leave, unsuccessfully tried to bargain with Ladies of the Night and generally behaved like the type of degenerates that have allowed Steve Wynn’s bank account to swell up bigger than Dustin Penner in the offseason.

Go figure

As part of our vacation we placed our 5th annual bet on the Oilers to win the Cup. We can tell you that the Bitter Disappointment of 2006© was impossibly magnified by the $10 bet ticket that was on our fridge the entire season. It just sat there for almost 9 whole months, judging us. “All it takes is one Cup win Wanye and this rich bounty of 500 plus dollars is all yours.” We alternately yelled and kissed that ticket as the season wore on, until the climactic drunken-tearing-into-shreds post G7 loss.

But this article isn’t about the disappointment of 2006 – it’s analyzing the possible disappointment of 2010.

Placing the bet

betting

Saturday afternoon we walked up to the Sports Book at the MGM Grand to place our $20 bet on the Oilers to win the Stanley Cup. We were shocked – shocked!- that the NHL odds for next season weren’t occupying a prominenent place on the immense odds board being scrutinized by the gambling zombies in attendance. A wide swath of society had turned out to place sports wagers - from the dangerously skinny to the morbidly obese, from all walks of life and every economic station on the line. There they were, milling about and bathed in the warm glow of screen after screen of betting odds.

Once we had made it to the front of the startingly long line, we demanded to place our bet on the Edmonton Oilers to win the Stanley Cup in the 2009-10 season. “The who?” asked the bored lady sitting in the betting cage. “Why the greatest team on Earth my good woman – the Edmonton Oilers” we calmly replied. “Don’t y’all wanna see the odds list first?” she helpfully queried. “Ma’am,” we countered, “simply take this American Currency and place it directly on the shoulders of one Mr. Pat Quinn and one Mr. Tom Renney. It's going to be OK I can assure you.”

“So ya’ll, basically throwing y’all money away?” our newly minted mortal enemy absently asked as she punched the requisite information into her computer. Shocked at her ignorant attitude we tried to explain the sheer genius of the wager. “Well see, what you need to remember is th-” we began before being interrupted. “Cawse at thirty-five to one y’all placing your money on a lawngshawt…”

It was at this point – when a lady whose very employment depends on people placing risky bets calling us out – that we launched into a rant describing of the long road to ruin the Oil have been on of late and made attempts to tell this uninterested stranger how the Vegas odds are incalculably wrong. “Listen honey” the lady drawled, after humoring our impassioned pleas on behalf of a team half a world away, “I just take these here bets, I don’t make them odds.”

It got us to thinking

As we walked away with our betting ticket for next season we started to wonder what a reasonable expectation for next season will be for the Mighty Oilers. Don’t get us wrong – if you ask us how the Oilers are going to do next year we would shout “82-0 BITCH and four straight sweeps right to the Cup!” Then we would laugh heartily and fondly imagine some sort of parallel universe where the Oil are capable of this feat while furiously rubbing a rabbit’s foot for luck.

If someone dares to take exception with our prediction or sadly pats us on the shoulder, we will immediately punch them square in the face. But sometimes late at night, when we lie in our bed beneath the warmth of our Hanna Montana bedspread, we secretly wonder what a reasonable expectation for next year will be.

Really how good can we expect the Oil to actually be next season?

expectations

We always have the highest expectations – and rarely if ever do any of them fall short. But when it comes to the Oilers this season we are caught in a bit of a quandary. Last summer we were over optimistic – fresh off a barn burning run featuring nary a single Oilers veteran player. “Look at all these super rookies!” we can remember excitedly exclaiming to the Nation, “It’s a wonder that four separate Oilers aren’t nominated for the Calder Trophy this season!” Then we would laugh heartily and furiously rub a rabbit’s foot for luck.

This offseason we are dejectedly over pessimistic – or so the hope goes. We can't understand how a team that was picked by some to win the division last year could so spectacularly mess the bed down the stretch to miss the playoffs. There is seemingly little fire in the belly of these 23 professionals. The entire time Dany Heatley was kicking our fair Team in the face, did you see any of the multi-millionaires currently employed by the Oilers publicly coming to the defense of the team?

How about you Shawn Horcoff? Did you come out and say “we will be fine without Heatley. Trust me and my $192 million dollar contract?.”

No.

And you Captain Ethan Moreau. Were you holding a press conference the next day to discuss how wonderful the team is going to be next season regardless of a blockbuster trade?

Right.

Rest assured we are firmly in our seat at the front of the Oilers bandwagon. Even if they go 15-65-0-2 we will faithfully watch every game and spew venomous bile from our seats high up in RX1. If they go 65-15-0-2 we will sass talk that bastard TLP within an inch of his very life and proudly go about town telling anyone who will listen that "we knew it all along."

Perhaps it’s time to start thinking about reasonable expectations for 2009-2010.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
Avatar
#1 OvenChicken8
July 21 2009, 02:37PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

"But perhaps it’s time to start thinking about reasonable expectations for 2009-2010."

43 - 35 - 0 - 4 And hopefully the 90 points I'm expecting is enough to make the playoffs *starts his season long prayer now*

Avatar
#2 jeanshorts
July 21 2009, 02:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

If they go 15-65-0-2 we can land Taylor Hall! YA! Oh wait that would not be fun to watch whatsoever would it? OH THE MORAL DILEMMA!

I think 90 points is a reasonable mark to get to, but looking at some of these upstart teams in the West, namely Chicago and Columbus, I think it's going to be a tight squeeze this year in the West boy.

Avatar
#3 Wanye Gretz
July 21 2009, 02:44PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Some historical perspective:

2005–06 41-28-13 95 PTS 2006–07 32-43-7 71 PTS 2007–08 41-35-6 88 PTS 2008–09 38-35-9 85 PTS

*wipes brow from the effort required to do actual research*

Avatar
#4 Robin Brownlee
July 21 2009, 02:45PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

jeanshorts wrote:

I think it’s going to be a tight squeeze this year in the West boy.

Who is this West boy, he of the tight squeezes?

Avatar
#5 Wanye Gretz
July 21 2009, 02:48PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Robin Brownlee wrote:

Who is this West boy, he of the tight squeezes?

Well played.

*claps once, so loudly that Dany Heatley immediately retires*

Avatar
#6 jeanshorts
July 21 2009, 02:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Robin Brownlee:

He's got tiny little hands and he's MINE OKAY! Back off Brownlee! I drugged him and put him in the back of the JSBM Panel Van® fair and square. We like to call it a "Recruitment Drive".

Avatar
#7 Chaz
July 21 2009, 02:56PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I think a 100 point season is in the fold. That should put us about 4th in the West with Home Ice advantage for the first round.

I also think the World is flat and that Badger's make great house pets.

Avatar
#8 Brendan
July 21 2009, 03:00PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Realistically: 40-37-5 85 PTS Hopefully: 44-32-6 94 PTS

But there's no chance in hell we'll be 12 games above .500.

Avatar
#9 Rice
July 21 2009, 03:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

You should see my house badger... it ate my house hippo.

Avatar
#10 Mother Pucker Hockey
July 21 2009, 03:10PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Yes, the bandwagon will be ridden... but I'm sure I'll be just as crabby on it this year as I was last year...

Avatar
#11 Wanye Gretz
July 21 2009, 03:11PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Mother Pucker Hockey:

I wonder though if this team is capable of overachieving to some degree...

Avatar
#12 Jack Bauer
July 21 2009, 03:14PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Its going to be a battle to 8th like it has been every year. I think this year Quinn and Renney will be able to power the team that 3 wins it needs to make it but who knows. I dont think this team is very good and quite frankly we have 10 shades of jack and shît to fix it.

Avatar
#13 OvenChicken8
July 21 2009, 03:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Wanye Gretz: If Pisani can get 14 goals in the playoffs, ANYTHING is possible!

Avatar
#14 MattL
July 21 2009, 03:15PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz wrote:

2007–08 41-35-6 88 PTS 2008–09 38-35-9 85 PTS

Wow, the only difference between the two seasons points-wise was 3 OT/SO wins?

Huh. I didn't even notice. They felt like two completely different seasons, especially how each one ended.

Avatar
#15 Librarian Mike
July 21 2009, 03:18PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

MattL wrote:

They felt like two completely different seasons, especially how each one ended.

I imagine part of it comes from the absolute c**kpunch that was the end of the 06-07 season. I was around in the gory years, and I think those last 20-odd games ranked as one of the lowest points of being an Oilers fan.

Avatar
#16 Wanye Gretz
July 21 2009, 03:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Librarian Mike wrote:

I imagine part of it comes from the absolute c**kpunch that was the end of the 06-07 season.

I think the wikipedia page for the Oilers should be amended to include this gem. Or possibly a banner hung at RX1.

Avatar
#17 r59
July 21 2009, 03:21PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Is that Natalie Portman in your fantasy Wayne?

Avatar
#18 DK0
July 21 2009, 03:26PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Wanye Gretz: Wanye, get out of the drivers seat of the bandwagon.... ITS TIME TO GHOST RIDE THIS B@TCH TO THE STANLEY CUP!! W000! (I'm going to Vegas Friday morning till Wednesday and your post sort of got me amped up)

Avatar
#19 risto
July 21 2009, 03:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Jumping off the Tom Watson bandwagon for a moment, looking for my ETS transfer to the broken and near-empty Oilers one:

Bulin Wall, coupled with the Pentagon budget defense corps and some spirited play from our new "energy" guys will bring us playoffs.

Another hope is O'Sully can snipe so prolifically, we forget about Ales(2).

I observe that the last 2 seasons we've let go a number of useful depth players, and kept the "veterans" and"projects" I routinely shook my head at watching last year's Oiler games.

Bring back the Electric Norseman!

Lowetide gets his wish: Pou-Pou-Pouliot all the time

The new coaches won't allow for the routine gassing of 3rd period 1-goal leads, and hopefully can get us back to "AVERAGE" for the PP and PK units.

They also have a new strategy: lose every faceoff on purpose.

Avatar
#20 Shannon
July 21 2009, 03:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I love that the lady in Vegas felt the need to tell you were gambling on a long shot. If there ever was a sign about the upcoming season ...

Great read, Wanye. You're right about our Fearless Captain Glass Moreau, though. Where have any of them been throughout this Heatley mess? Thanks for showing up, boys.

Avatar
#21 Wanye Gretz
July 21 2009, 03:38PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ r59:

You shan't speak her name aloud, but yes.

@ DK0:

Have a great time DKO. It's hotter than Satan's toenails down there right now. I actually JUST watched the ghost ride the whip video. Will we ever be able to play that in triumphant jubilation this season?? Answer: YES

@ risto:

Pentagon Budget Defense Corps is a faceshattering name for these goobers. Grebs at $3.15 million? It's going to be too easy to make him my goat again this year.

@ Shannon:

I'm honestly amazed how no Oilers step up in defense of the Team despite its continuous smack downs in the Free Agent Season.

Avatar
#22 ronaldo
July 21 2009, 03:41PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

LOL. Good to have you and your Paint skills back Wayne. But no way would Optimus let his kid be seen in dirty hippie gear- he's no Canuck fan.

Avatar
#23 Doug
July 21 2009, 03:42PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I predict the Oil squeek into the dance with an 8th place finish and then make a surprising run to the cup final.

bolstered by a trade deadline major aquisition, natch.

Avatar
#24 DonDon
July 21 2009, 04:49PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Chaz wrote:

I think a 100 point season is in the fold. That should put us about 4th in the West with Home Ice advantage for the first round. I also think the World is flat and that Badger’s make great house pets.

This is particularly funny! Latest read is if Heatley is traded, it will likely be to San Jose. If this happens, then Tambellini can finally start to look at other steps to improve the team. The problem continues to be in moving player contracts to get out of cap purgatory. It seems that the Flames are signing new players almost every day to strengthen their team. How can they do this and our rocket scientists continue to stand pat?

Avatar
#25 Bill Rizer
July 21 2009, 04:58PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Utilizing some statistical wizardry I have the Oilers with 87 points in a tie for 9th (Win % = 0.530, GF 238, GA 227). I'll be updating the full spreadsheet this week sometime.

Avatar
#26 Dallas
July 21 2009, 04:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I just read an article on hockeybuzz.com about Linus Omarks agent having a hate on for edm and that is why he is in the KHL this year what has this city done to deserve this crap.Pretty bad when even players agents don't want their players playing in edm SMFH

Avatar
#27 DK0
July 21 2009, 04:59PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ DonDon: Maybe we should have hired hockey guys instead of rocket scientists?

Avatar
#28 Dallas
July 21 2009, 05:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ DonDon: Yah and you know what's real funny is they are going to lose Boyd there is a lot of flameouts actually freaking right out about this right now

Avatar
#29 West Coast Oil
July 21 2009, 05:17PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Ahhh this is what I like to see expectations so low even our current crop of Oilers can achieve them! This just sets us fans up for the enviable (sp) crash the summer after next when we again have high expectations and the team then proceeds to poop on them yet again! Yes I would rather be an Oiler fan then anything. The roller coaster ride is one I would never miss.

Avatar
#30 Word
July 21 2009, 05:40PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye, my good buddy Ryan was in on that very same debaucherous Vegas trip. He came back looking more weathered than Bea Arthur's old catchers mitt. Nice work.

Avatar
#31 Librarian Mike
July 21 2009, 05:57PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Word wrote:

He came back looking more weathered than Bea Arthur’s old catchers mitt.

Oh, you're not talking about....OH!

*goes into the corner and starts crying*

Avatar
#32 cambosmash
July 21 2009, 06:29PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Wanye Gretz wrote:

Grebs at $3.15million ? It’s going to be too easy to make him my goat again this year

Grebs is not the goat pulling the Oilers bandwagon he is the hero riding atop of it.

* Like blood from a stone, Cambosmash sheds a single tear of happiness at the Grebeshkov signing.*

Avatar
#33 DanMan
July 21 2009, 06:51PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

*pounds back 5 quarts of Oiler-Aid*

I say 44-32-6 94 points

94, thats a good number, which reminds me:

Gilbert and Nilsson to Colorado for Ryan Smyth and Scott Hannan

Now I say 46-31-5 97 points. I hope I stay lit long enough to see it happen.

Avatar
#34 Colin
July 21 2009, 07:16PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

DanMan wrote:

which reminds me: Gilbert and Nilsson to Colorado for Ryan Smyth and .

Smyth is an LA King now.

I'll guesstimize 95 points, tie for seventh/eighth, will get 8th based on wins.

I don't think Tambo is done, I think having Grebs deal done will allow him to get on with it. I also don't think we're getting top 3 help, but some defensive help(forward/pk wise) and a healthy Vishnovsky should = playoff spot.

Avatar
#35 DanMan
July 21 2009, 07:31PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

*sobers up from Oiler-Aid*

Smyth and Hannan... wtf is in this stuff?

In all seriousness:

I'll stick with the 44-32-6, that looks about right. Quinn/Renney, slight upgrade in net, full year of the Big Vish, and breakout years from the kids. I see us in the 5-9 range, thats a big skew but every year it gets tighter in the west.

Avatar
#36 Harlie
July 21 2009, 08:52PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

from Garbagekov to Gottahavekov in one season. Did he get that much better or did our team get that much worse?

Avatar
#37 Robin Brownlee
July 21 2009, 09:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

DanMan wrote:

*sobers up from Oiler-Aid* Smyth and Hannan… wtf is in this stuff? In all seriousness: I’ll stick with the 44-32-6, that looks about right. Quinn/Renney, slight upgrade in net, full year of the Big Vish, and breakout years from the kids. I see us in the 5-9 range, thats a big skew but every year it gets tighter in the west.

One of five possible places -- way to go out on a limb.

Avatar
#38 Rammer
July 21 2009, 09:39PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Dammit. That song is catchy.

Avatar
#39 Garett
July 21 2009, 10:02PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

How long until Hemmer is like "Fu*k this boat, just drop me off on that deserted island.". If he has to play with Horc all year feeding him passes and seeing the mesh ripple, (not the mesh on the net, the mesh above the glass), he will be wanting out! Such a fantastic contract, greatest in recent memory being wasted. How discouraging for him, how many points could he put up with some competant skilled forwards to play with?

Avatar
#40 OvenChicken8
July 21 2009, 11:08PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Garett: ~You know what I like about you? It's your optimism.~

Avatar
#41 TonyT
July 21 2009, 11:35PM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Wanye Gretz: Best blog evaaaah! That's the kind blind enthusiasm worthy of nation of Oilers! You've convinced me to go to Vegas and make that same bet. Oilers Stanley Cup #6 in 09-10!

Avatar
#42 DanMan
July 22 2009, 12:24AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Edmonton Oilers 2009-10 (44-32-6) 94 points 2nd Northeast, 6th West

Name GP G A P PM

Hemsky 80 29 59 88 21 Gagner 75 21 45 66 36 Vishnovsky 81 18 46 64 54 Penner 82 34 24 58 103 Horcoff 79 24 29 53 64 Souray 62 17 32 49 93 O' Sullivan 82 25 23 48 52 Cogliano 82 27 20 47 38 Gilbert 80 10 33 43 52 Grebeshkov 74 7 31 38 84

Avatar
#43 DanMan
July 22 2009, 12:25AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

@ Robin Brownlee:

Are you happy now ;)

Avatar
#44 The Towel Boy
July 22 2009, 07:19AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

I'm callin' 6th in the Northwest.

Avatar
#45 BUCK75
July 22 2009, 07:54AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Towel Boy wrote:

I’m callin’ 6th in the Northwest.

Gutsy - but I like it.

As long as the injury bug doesn't knock out Vishnovsky or Souray....again.

As long as we can find a person to play left wing every night beside Hemsky & Horcoff.

Avatar
#46 Tommy
July 22 2009, 08:31AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

35-1? Back in July 07, I put $20 down and got 50-1 for the Oil to win the cup at the Mirage. I remember the Flamers were 10-1 or something and I said that there was no way they were covering that bet.

But alas, I think it threw the ticket away at the mid-way point at the season when you probably should have gotten 100-1. That was before the big run which then lit up our optimism last season.

*small cry*

Avatar
#47 RossCreek
July 22 2009, 09:10AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

The Towel Boy wrote:

I’m callin’ 6th in the Northwest.

@ BUCK75: 6th in the NORTWEST. Did you catch that.

So Roloson was not the problem last year, but they add a guy that has a good season every contract year and all of the sudden they`re better. I`m not at all a Roli fan, but I don`t see how the Khabibulin acquisition improves this club. Health and better years from half the team could see them climb the ladder... BUT... which team is gonna fall out: San Jose - no Detroit - no Vancouver - not IMO Chicago - no Calgary - no St. Louis - not IMO Columbus - possible Anahiem - no

And who else could slide in: Colorado - not likely Minnesota - possible LA - possible, probable IMO Phoenix - possible Dallas - possible Nashville - possible

Looks like one big clusterfukc to me. As always, injuries will play a significant factor.

Reasonable expectation (as team currently stands) - 9th or 10th.

Avatar
#48 Ender the Dragon
July 22 2009, 09:10AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Tommy wrote:

35-1? . . . you probably should have gotten 100-1.

I was thinking the same thing as Tommy. There are 30 teams in the NHL, so what Vegas is really saying is that in their eyes, the Oil have pretty much the same chance as any other team to win. Makes you wonder, did they research NHL hockey this year any more than, say, the U. S. Association of Rock Paper Scissors or The Extreme Ironing World Championships? They may as well just put up a big sign that says 'We, the Management, firmly believe that if you're dumb enough to bet real money on NHL Hockey, you won't be able to find your way back here to collect if you win. Like we'd be able to verify it anyway."

Avatar
#49 Ogden Brother
July 22 2009, 09:20AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

DanMan wrote:

Edmonton Oilers 2009-10 (44-32-6) 94 points 2nd Northeast, 6th West Name GP G A P PM Hemsky 80 29 59 88 21 Gagner 75 21 45 66 36 Vishnovsky 81 18 46 64 54 Penner 82 34 24 58 103 Horcoff 79 24 29 53 64 Souray 62 17 32 49 93 O’ Sullivan 82 25 23 48 52 Cogliano 82 27 20 47 38 Gilbert 80 10 33 43 52 Grebeshkov 74 7 31 38 84

I think this pretty much wraps up why everyone is so cranky from Feb on.

Avatar
#50 Ogden Brother
July 22 2009, 09:23AM
Trash it!
0
trashes
Cheers
0
cheers

Sure thing:

Det/SJ/Flames/Hawks (One will struggle and drop out of the top 4...though still make the PO)

Probably: Van

Fighting for the last three spots

Ducks/Wild/BJ's/Oil/Blues/Kings (One will suprise and end up in the top 5)

Wild card: Stars (could be anywhere from 15th to 5th)

Bottom feeders: Coyotes/Preds/Colorado

89 - 93 points for the Oil 7th/8th place

Comments are closed for this article.