July 27 2009 11:19AM
Jonathan Willis is a beast. How he manages to pump out articles each and every day of the year that both make a point and are interesting we will never know. We certainly haven’t been blessed with the same writing skills as Senor Willis, but lack of talent hasn’t stopped us from trying.
So before you read this article we will start off by warning you that today is a slow news day. Really slow. Like “there-are-365-days-in-a-year-and-this-one-ranks-high-on-the-list-of-least-stuff-happening” type slow.
But still, on this slow news day of July 27, 2009 we want to know two things:
1) Why is the Shamrock Shake only available around St. Patrick’s Day?
Seriously McDonalds. Is it too much to ask to keep that thing around all year round? It’s a viable beverage option all 12 months of the year! We have been engaged in a heated debate with a buddy all morning on this topic and we just can’t let it go. Our well structured arguments are as follows:
a) The Shamrock Shake is an excellent frosty beverage. b) The Shamrock Shake is only available in March. This is hardly the time most of us are looking for milkshake type beverages. c) On a hot summer’s day like the ones we are experiencing of late, a Shamrock Shake would hit the spot. d) The Shamrock shake requires little extra effort for the average McDonalds franchisee to create. There is no extra infrastructure needed – just ground up leprechauns and shamrocks added to the cement mix that passes for a milkshake.
We feel that this is a valid customer feedback item. Our buddy is of the mind that this is a seasonal treat and is no more appropriate than eating a candy cane in the middle of the summer. He adheres to a strict seasonal edible code of conduct. We say, if it feels good do it.
Besides this debate, which is sure to die away the instant anything of note occurs, we also wonder:
2) What’s going on with our beloved Oilers?
Turns out, the answer is “less than not much.” We have taken the time to search the entire interwebs too, so don’t think your ol’ pal Wanye is leaving you in the dark. We looked everywhere. TSN, SportsNet, The Jonas Brothers website, JSBM. Everywhere. Eventually our search for anything related to anything interesting took us to the last place you would expect any Oilers news of interest – the Oilers official website. As luck would have it, they have revamped the site a bit which is of borderline interest to some of us. Looking for news, we slowly plodded through the riveting accounts of both the minor hockey school the Oil are running and a breathtaking account of the development prospects taking in basic training.
What’s that Riley Nash? You tried to go rappelling and ended up upside down? Thank goodness we don’t have a heart condition. News of this potential risk to your massive NHL career might have triggered some variety of cardiac event.
Just when all seemed lost we came across the photo of the day feature on the site. There are about a hojillion photos of MacIntyre and Stortini – in a Tim Horton’s, at a variety of baseball game events, posing with “local celebrities” and generally serving as a shining example of how Oilers should behave in the City. We have to respect the level of community involvement that Stortini and MacIntyre are bringing to the table in the off season. It’s impressive.
But enough of their positive example and role modelness. We want to show you a pair of hilarious pictures.
Slow news day laugh #1
Is this picture doctored in some way? On your left – you have Oilers megaslugger Steve MacIntyre, all 11 foot 82 inches of him. On your right, an apparent action figure of Canadian Boxing Legend Scotty “The Bulldog” Olson. Are these guys of the same species? The height differential between the two is astounding.
Slow news day laugh #2
In what has to be one of the least flattering pictures we have had the honor of seeing in a long time, MacIntyre proves that not every camera angle is a flattering one. Every time we look at this picture we can’t help laugh.
Don’t worry, those goose bumps you are experiencing at the moment will subside in a few minutes.