Rising from the ashes

Wanye
July 03 2009 12:28PM

You would think that in the wake of the Dany Heatley debacle, Oilers fans and Edmontonians would be standing in line to lie down on the proverbial train tracks and wait for the 12:15 Express to roll by and end all the suffering.

Instead we are seeing a shocking amount of people deciding that this isn’t an Edmonton problem – it’s a Heatley problem. And while people all over the internet are delighting in rubbing salt in our collective wounds, Oilers fans are flocking to this little website in increasingly overwhelming numbers to voice their support for their team and defending the City they love – regardless of the opinions of a handful of pro athletes.

Calling the bottom

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You can probably mark July 2, 2009 down in your calendars as the bottom of stock in the Edmonton Oilers. Yeah the old stock price has taken a beating of late – of that there is no doubt. But whereas in the past many fans were seemingly content to remain silent, sit back and take shit from dink hockey players who spurned their hometown in the past – it’s different this time.

When we wrote a little article yesterday on this non-pornographic internet portal we were shooting from the hip - telling everyone down on the team and the city to grow a pair of proverbial balls and telling Dany Heatley to get stuffed in the process. It could have been a risky move – there could have been plenty of sass-bashing fans coming on here and explain to us how Heatley was in fact correct in his refusal to waive his NTC. Who would want to live somewhere so (gasp) cold right?

Little did we know that it instead unleashed a torrent of people who were seemingly waiting for a chance to show substantial pride in both the City of Edmonton and the Oilers.

The onslaught

Generally WanyeMail is a river of twitter alerts, herbal aphrodisiac sales pitches and other junkery. But in the past 24 hours we have been getting actual emails from actual people. Like over 40 emails.

Here are some excerpts:

“Hey Wayne – thanks for writing that article today. I was so happy to read that someone wasn’t ready to roll over and die at the feet of a bastard like Dany Heatley. The Oilers will be fine, just you wait!” “Hello OilersNation – as an Edmonton native now living in London, England I just wanted to thank you for writing that article encouraging Edmontonians to show pride in their city. I have lived overseas for over 20 years but I think of my hometown every day. Edmonton might be cold but it is really a fantastic city. People who don’t realize that should pull their heads out of the sand.” “WANYE – F****** rights!!!! Screw Heatley and anyone who doesn’t want to come to Edmonton. Things are bound to turn around. In Kay-Z we trust.” “Wanye – That was a great article you wrote today. I moved from Edmonton to Boston for school and stayed because of a job. I have been homesick for a good Skyreach Centre (now RX1) beer ever since. Your website has allowed me to feel as though I am back on Whyte Ave having a beer with my friends. I miss Edmonton terribly! GO OILERS!” “Just wanted to shoot you a quick email and tell you that I really enjoyed your article encouraging Oilers fans to get some swagger back in their stride. I am an Oilers fan living in Phoenix. I was a Gretzky fan in the 1980s and have stuck with the team ever since even though #99 is our Coach! I am always amazed every time I meet an Edmontonian at a hockey game. You guys are always so passionate and energetic yet polite and respectful. I know our Oilers will come back from this and will win the Cup again soon!”

A full disclaimer

cold

Yeah you know what? Yes, it’s cold here. And yes, we consider Southgate Mall’s recent “Aug 5” advertising campaign to be a landmark event in the past 3 years. And yes, our 100 foreign visitors in 2008 were shocked by how many people drive pickup trucks in Edmonton.

Big deal.

This is home and there are millions around the world and right here in Edmonton who wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. And eventually the Oil will land a superstar or two who will compliment the 20 or so Edmonton Oilers who are already proud to call Edmonton home. The team will win again - and in the meantime we will continue to freeze our bits off getting to RX1 to cheer them on. We wouldn't have it any other way.

And when it does turn around - and it will make no mistake - all of the nay sayers that are having a field day running down Edmonton and the Oilers all over the internet, TV and newspapers will receive an Oil stained sucker punch directly to the face courtesy of the proud members of the Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club.

And from us there will be no mercy. Those who have jumped off the bandwagon will immediately be shot if trying to reboard the wagon by the likes of scorecoff hemmercules, socaldave, cambosmash, humantorch, KayleW, OvenChicken8, West Coast Oil and the thousands of other Oilers fans who are waiting for their day of redemption to arrive.

Calling the bottom Pt 2

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The funny thing about picking a time to invest in a company is that if the fundamentals are strong – the bottom is exactly the right time to get involved. Everything goes through peaks and valleys. We are doubtlessly in a valley in right now. But with our Owner, the new management and coaching staff bound and determined to rebuild this team - things are strong. With a fan base so hilarious that over 200,000 people visited a website of this dubious quality in the past 30 days – sending a reporter to the draft in the process – things are strong. With a roster of players who are doubtlessly sitting back in their solid gold summer homes and watching the image beat down their team is currently receiving at the hands of Heatley, pumping iron and getting ready to defend RX1 in the fall, shoving revenge directly up the ass of the rest of the NHL in the process – things are strong.

Funny thing about calling the bottom of a market. Though things seem like they have hit rock bottom and it is only going to get worse, things actually only go in one direction:

Up.

Oh and that jam at the top of the post? Just some kickass mashup by another local gem Nik Kozub, who is probably cold as all hell in the winters too.

I put on for my City. Wanye Gretz, Edmonton, AB.

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#1 Jack Newcastle
July 03 2009, 12:33PM
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Good on you.

New owner, new arena, revamped downtown in the works -- Edmonton's best days are AHEAD, not behind. Let the naysayers and whiners flock to cow-town.

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#2 Bill Rizer
July 03 2009, 12:38PM
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Man do I wish that whale would land on the kid. He kind of looks like a young Dany Heatley.

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#3 ScubaSteve
July 03 2009, 12:39PM
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Well said, I can't think of anything to add.

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#4 Archaeologuy
July 03 2009, 12:41PM
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Wanye for Mayor of Oilerville!

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#5 Patchy
July 03 2009, 12:44PM
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Jack Newcastle wrote:

Let the naysayers and whiners flock to cow-town.

Amen. Besides, the last few days are going to seem downright hilarious when Cogliano becomes a key cog in the next cup run. Dany who?

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#6 ronaldo
July 03 2009, 12:44PM
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Wayne Churchill Gretz

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#7 SkinnyD
July 03 2009, 12:46PM
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I'm veklempt. Talk amongst yourselves.

*tear*

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#8 Doug
July 03 2009, 12:51PM
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Good work. I don't live in Edmonton anymore, but its got a special place in my heart.

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#9 jenga
July 03 2009, 12:51PM
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Well said.

We need to be like supporters of Millwall FC in the UK whose unofficial slogan is "Noone Likes Us - And We Don't Care".

You don't want to come to Edmonton? F&$k off then. We can't attract UFAs? Who cares? Build from within and trade.

As the header on Brownlee's post yesterday read;

OFF YOUR KNEES AND ON YOUR FEET!!!!!

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#10 Wanye Gretz
July 03 2009, 12:53PM
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jenga wrote:

We need to be like supporters of Millwall FC in the UK whose unofficial slogan is “Noone Likes Us - And We Don’t Care”.

Are you serious? That's their slogan??

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wait, are they any good?

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#11 OilatSea
July 03 2009, 12:54PM
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I love and miss Edmonton every day. Stuck out on Vancouver Island I see how strong our fan base is daily. All the bandwagoneers out here. I have been slavering over every morsel of summer trade and draft action on the Oiler sites. Everyone here seems content to forget about their beloved Canucks until the next time they look poised for a playoff run.

Go Oil. Gratz Heatley on earning the Oil Country ire without ever wearing the jersey...not too many can claim that dubious distinction.

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#12 Morghasm
July 03 2009, 12:55PM
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What, Wanye puts out for his city?

*slowly re-reads last line using hooked-on-phonics*

Oh, puts "on". That's not the same thing at all. Or is it?

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#13 GSC
July 03 2009, 12:58PM
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I'm an Ohio native who only gets to visit Edmonton, and even I take it personally when someone tries to soil the reputation of one of my favourite cities.

As an Oiler fan, I think it's impossible not to be an Edmonton fan at the same time. That's one of the things I love about this team, it goes hand-in-hand with the city (and the region) to which it is apart.

Just call me a proud prospective Edmontonian.

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#14 BUCK75
July 03 2009, 12:58PM
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I was really hoping for a MSPaint graph, but the Oilexco graph will work too - oh waita minute.

As I have said if these primadonna's don't want to come here we will have to make our own superstars by drafting better & either trading or poaching better RFA's. The hell with #danyheatley.

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#15 blu
July 03 2009, 01:04PM
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Edmonton - putting the Y in City ...

I love this city. I'm mad about our lack of decent public transit. I'm excited that downtown is slowly but surely becoming UNslummy. A new arena? Fuck yes. We have history. We love hockey.

A few years from now when some brilliant, pimpled kid figures out teleportation using the nuclear reactor in the basement of the UofA, nobody will be able to talk shit about our proximity to anything either.

Oh, btw. Canada is apparently doing the best of the G20 countries during this recession. Alberta is hands down the richest province. And Oh, snap, we're the capital city. Lets maybe hold our heads a bit higher.

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#16 DK0
July 03 2009, 01:04PM
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So how many people just google financed TSE:OIL and were sadly disappointed?

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#17 Chaz
July 03 2009, 01:05PM
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Well said Mr. Gretz. The problem with selling Edmonton to hockey players is that they're only here for the cold Months. I love winter, but if you weren't raised in a Northern environment, I could see why some aren't crazy about it.

I see three options to get around this:

1. Continue burning fossil fuels and eating from styrofoam boxes until our Winters are bearable for Whimpy Southerners*. I have been doing this for over 30 years straight. 2. Convince the NHL to switch their schedule so it starts in March and ends in Oct**. 3. Trade and draft players who have thick enough skin to handle some cold weather and who's wives don't complain about not being able to shop on Rodeo drive 12 Months of the year.

* Whimpy Southerners are anyone born south of Leduc

** The NHL is a progressive league, not afraid of change right? Right? Hello??? Is this thing on???

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#18 Greg MC
July 03 2009, 01:07PM
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Edmontonian's rock! I have worked in London, England and Hong Kong, but Edmonton is a world class city no doubt!

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#19 jenga
July 03 2009, 01:09PM
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Wanye,

Seriously.

The fans have a song and evrything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-4ce7bfvIk

They play in the first division.

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#20 ronaldo
July 03 2009, 01:13PM
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@ jenga: AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!

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#21 Rice
July 03 2009, 01:15PM
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jenga wrote:

Noone Likes Us - And We Don’t Care

We should start chanting this at the games with some European football passion. Except better because it is Oilers Hockey Passion

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#22 tricksnard
July 03 2009, 01:16PM
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word.

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#23 DK0
July 03 2009, 01:16PM
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@ Rice: YES! and we fire it up at volume 11 every time Smackintyre rag dolls some tool on the other team.

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#24 Sweet Jimmy K
July 03 2009, 01:17PM
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A-f*cking-men brother. Hockey is a physical, demanding sport, supporting your team the exact same way. Someone knocks you down, you get off your ass.

I have only ever lived in the city for 3 years, but I have been an Oiler fan since I figured out what hockey was 30 years ago. While I might not be a city boy, I have spent enought time there from school, to hockey games, concerts, K-Days, it is a second home to me. No one puts it down, especially some princess hockey player who can't take the heat.

I have been on the floor at RX1 at a concert, and when the band comes out it is retarded loud. I would give both nuts to be able to hear that 42 times a year, and ramp it up for the spring and playoffs. Any REAL hockey player that cannot understand and appreciate that, should just skip right on by this town. As much as we dog the 20 some guys that put on that most hallowed of jerseys, and walks down the aisle to ice surface of the glorious RX1 on 118 and WGD, they get it. They know what it means to stand on that ice while the anthem plays. They see the history facing them when they look at that flag, they can see those names and numbers that define near perfect hockey.

We need a bumper sticker: Stand behind your team, if not feel free to stand in front of them, preferrably when Souray is mid wind-up.

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#25 risto
July 03 2009, 01:21PM
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We have a great sports city.

Anyone been to Montreal, Toronto, Calgary, Ottawa in the winter? Just as cold.

Spoiled hockey players wanting to play in Florida and California? Happy for your opportunity, let's see with the recession full blown down there how full your arenas are this winter.

After 15 years of mediocre Oilers hockey with one Faustian bargain in 2006, the pendulum will swing back, and I hope the Oiler organization has its farm system settled, and its priorities straight when the winning begins. FA's should be begging to play here, the fan support is incredible! Aside from Montreal, there really is no other market as passionate about the game.

Winning, it's an attitude.

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#26 OvenChicken8
July 03 2009, 01:22PM
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Did anyone see the tkachuk comments about Edmonton/Heatley situation?

I wouldn't mind bringing him in to whip our boys into shape.

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#27 ronaldo
July 03 2009, 01:26PM
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@ OvenChicken8: What did he say?

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#28 jeanshorts
July 03 2009, 01:27PM
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OH MY GOOOOD!

*collapses into a pile on the floor, uncontrollably weeping with pride*

Screw Vancouver, I'm packing up the "F*ck Dany Heatly" van and coming home immediately!

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#29 The Towel Boy
July 03 2009, 01:28PM
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I've never been to Edmonton. I don't even know where it is...but man, after reading this...I truly wish I was an Edmontonarianite!

IQWT

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#30 Chester Copperpot
July 03 2009, 01:30PM
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Sure no superstars want to sign here,. Sure there's been no playoffs in 3 years. Sure all of Edmonton's trees lean south.

But you know what?

Since the lockout Edmonton has played the same amount of playoff series as Calgary and Vancouver and in those 4 series they have won series than both teams combined and has a yet another banner to hand in the rafters.

The best part is that as Vancouver moves backwards (no Ohlund & no Sundin) and as Calgary attempts to break St Louis' record of consecutive playoff appearences without winning anything, Edmonton is slowly getting better. This year, without any moves, has cause this team to be written off my many. And I believe that it with the maturation of the young guys, a healthy Visnosky, and a thrid line center, this team is poised to surprise.

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#31 Librarian Mike
July 03 2009, 01:31PM
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I have so many friends who do nothing but complain about Edmonton. So what do they do? They move to Vancouver for a year and come running back because it's too expensive, there are too many drugs, and it's full of filthy hippies with money (the worst kind). Oh, and their hockey team sucks too.

Edmonton is good times for good peoples.

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#32 Librarian Mike
July 03 2009, 01:33PM
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P.S. "Free Willy" - That's what she said...

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#33 OvenChicken8
July 03 2009, 01:33PM
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@ ronaldo: Paraphrasing it: -Heatley should act like a professional/get over himself and play where he is told -He really likes playing in Edmonton and he likes the atmosphere etc.

It was a quick 30 second blurb on the TSN clip about Heatley being the most hated man in hockey.

*Side note: Mark Spector can eat my (insert filthy body part here). If Edmonton is so bad, tell me, why does he still live here?

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#34 The Towel Boy
July 03 2009, 01:36PM
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@ OvenChicken8:

I saw that too! Man is he old looking....but distinguished old.

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#35 OvenChicken8
July 03 2009, 01:40PM
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@ The Towel Boy: He's the Clooney of the NHL lol.

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#36 The Towel Boy
July 03 2009, 01:43PM
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@ OvenChicken8:

*swoon*

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#37 Greg MC
July 03 2009, 01:44PM
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Mark Spector is getting a lot of hate for what he has written the last couple of days. I think he is just a playa' trying (successfully) to bump up his readership.

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#38 Robert....
July 03 2009, 01:44PM
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jenga wrote:

Wanye, Seriously. The fans have a song and evrything. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-4ce7bfvIk They play in the first division.

wow..can you get the lyrics to this so we can sing at the games?

Right now, they sound like my drunk uncle on friday night...or..perhaps a few people here.

I think it would fit good.

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#39 Librarian Mike
July 03 2009, 01:45PM
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@ OvenChicken8: @ The Towel Boy:

Between him and Souray, they would warm the city up in the winter. LOL

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#40 ronaldo
July 03 2009, 01:46PM
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@ OvenChicken8: Thanks. Seems like we get a lot of love from the American players (Weight, Guerin, Tkachuk), maybe we should target more of them (kessel).

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#41 Joey Moss
July 03 2009, 01:49PM
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Edmonton is like any city around 1 million people, it just got there a bit sooner because of oil and seems immature (architecturally that is) because of it. Sure it is super cold here in the winter but last time I checked there is no great pleasure suffering in 40 degree heat. If everyone wanted to play in a perfect climate then the whole NHL would be in Vancouver or San Jose. It is the media and one Pronger-whore that likes to make a big deal about the weather here and they can't stop perpetuating it because there is no other reason they can fathom that a player might not want to be here (maybe he is a sociopathic priss that can't make up his mind, maybe the player is a backstabbing wife-cheating douche that can't help but be an asshole) - but on a whole Edmonton is not a lot worse than Calgary specifically and other similarly sized cities generally.

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#42 scorecoff hemmercules
July 03 2009, 01:54PM
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Sweet!! You used me as one of your gun wielding oiler maniacs riding the Nation wagon. I will fufill my duties proudly, shotgun and all.

*sheds a tear of joy*

Although I don't live in Edmonton I have loved every moment I have spent there, feels like home everytime I'm there. If my wife were ever to lose her job, job hunting in Edmonton would be on my list for sure.

"And when it does turn around - and it will make no mistake - all of the nay sayers that are having a field day running down Edmonton and the Oilers all over the internet, TV and newspapers will receive an Oil stained sucker punch directly to the face courtesy of the proud members of the Edmonton Oilers Hockey Club."

Solid gold statement! Every Oiler should read that.

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#43 DK0
July 03 2009, 01:59PM
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On a more serious note, how much would we have to donate to ON to buy Wanye the opportunity to give a motivational speech to the dressing room before game 1 of the season?

I can picture it now.. Wanye in the middle of the floor, pacing too and fro, spitting hot passion all over the youngsters and veterans alike..

wait that came out wrong... uhhhh.....

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#44 OvenChicken8
July 03 2009, 02:03PM
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@ Librarian Mike AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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#45 Robin Brownlee
July 03 2009, 02:10PM
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DK0 wrote:

I can picture it now.. Wanye in the middle of the floor, pacing too and fro, spitting hot passion all over the youngsters and veterans alike..

I can see it, too, but my version is somewhat different.

Wanye gets jacked for his inspirational address by downing four boxes of Mentos and half a jug of Diet Coke and tequila. After eyeballing the troops, the first thing out of Wanye's mouth is, "Men," and then his stomach contents. He takes a twister and hits the floor . . . death soon follows.

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#46 DK0
July 03 2009, 02:13PM
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@ Robin Brownlee: You're right, that does sound like a more realistic scenario. That's why they pay you the big bucks.

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#47 Prop Jay
July 03 2009, 02:18PM
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I put on for my city. I put on my cityy!!

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#48 The Menace
July 03 2009, 02:18PM
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Wanye, great article today. Reading this gave me chills, and made me wish hockey season was starting today.

Go Oilers, and Edmonton Rocks! In Quinn we trust.

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#49 Librarian Mike
July 03 2009, 02:18PM
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DK0 wrote:

I can picture it now.. Wanye in the middle of the floor, pacing too and fro, spitting hot passion all over the youngsters and veterans alike..

Here's how I imagine it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0

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#50 Oilforblood
July 03 2009, 02:30PM
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Rice wrote:

jenga wrote: Noone Likes Us - And We Don’t Care We should start chanting this at the games with some European football passion. Except better because it is Oilers Hockey Passion

Cheers to an Oiler version of this being sung full out at Oilers games this year... I love it!

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