Mike Comrie signs with the Oil?

Wanye
August 27 2009 03:22PM

coms1

Now we don't disagree with Robin Brownlee about anything - ever. It's not because we are scared of him, but more we are scared of the things he would do to us if we ever angered him. Sure we love a good drive by shooting as much the next guy, but we are far too pretty to have our face rearranged by “BC’s most dangerous man 1977.”

But a couple of hours ago we were messaged by a guy we know who said “now that you have got your head out of your (edited) and returned to writing on the Nation, you might be interested in discussing the fact that it would appear Daryl Katz has personally wired up a one year deal for 1.3 million with Mike Comrie.” Our eyes shot out of our head so fast that we put down the bag of cans we were scavanging in the river valley and ran straight home screaming at the top of our lungs, bloody eye sockets and all.

Now we aren’t here to start a database of falsehoods in our best Eklund imitation. We aren’t going to engage in idle speculation about how billionaires are rarer than foreign tourists in Edmonton and how Bill Comrie and Daryl Katz are probably friends on some level which could have led to a dialogue being opened with Dot Com's camp. We wouldn’t presume to weigh in on an unlikely rumor that could be a potential disaster this season.

We won’t pretend that we know better than Brownlee who told us back on August 19:

“While Comrie, now 29, is good enough to play in the Oilers top six and could be had for a discount rate, like maybe $2 million in a one-year contract, it’s a profoundly bad idea on so many levels I don’t even know where to start.”

However interesting re-signing Comrie would be in an attempt to exercise the “everyone hates Edmonton” demons that began when he left town back in 2003 under a cloud of rumors and cloak-and-daggery, we won’t lower ourselves onto the slippery slope of discussing this in great detail.

But you can.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:16PM
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Comrie has been a 30 goal scorer. With the right line mates *read: HEMSKY* he would put the puck in the net and he is slick as sh*t too. I think that would be a pretty line. I really think it would be great for the Oilers to have Horcoff concentrating on the defensive side. Him and Pisani would be the best shut down line in the league.

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#52 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:16PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

Put it this way - I believe him.

and I believe you.

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#53 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 04:17PM
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Wait, does this mean Hil Duff is going to be sporadically showing up at Rexall during the season?

*packs up his rape kit, gasses up the van, and heads back to the homeland*

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#54 Downright Fierce
August 27 2009, 04:18PM
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If this is true... Oy vey.

Not to say Mikey couldn't do some good on his second go 'round in Oil silks, but what happened to getting bigger?

Are we gonna outfit all the shrimps with slings to take down the giants on the opposing team? Are we outsourcing our forwards to Northlands as jockeys? Are we "getting harder to play against" by becoming as small and elusive as possible? Do we want to make Dustin Penner think he's the Gulliver to our Lilliputians so that he'll help us defeat the other team as Blefuscudians? Are we attempting to ice a team so small, it makes the opposition think they're very high up thus giving them vertigo? Does Daryl Katz have an inoperable tumor, so he's loading all our forwards into a microscopic ship to be injected into his body so they can do battle with the evil cells?

(pants for breath)

Seriously, if we get any smaller, I'm just playing this song over all our highlights.

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#55 Racki
August 27 2009, 04:18PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Racki: Good points all around. If he does come back I would have to hive him props for coming back to face the mob at RX1. That wouldn’t be easy to do.

Yes exactly, it would be pretty big for both sides to sweep the past under the rug.

So can you give us a small hint here.. is your source someone connected to the sports world, or is it just Jonathan Willis? (sorry, little Bob Stauffer humor..)

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#56 Godzilla
August 27 2009, 04:18PM
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Many people wrote on this site something like this: "I hope the Oil do something soon, anything!"

Well, the lesson is : Be careful what you wish for...

Comrie at 1.3??? I bet we could have Robert Lang or D. Moore for the same amount.

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#57 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:19PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Wait, does this mean Hil Duff is going to be sporadically showing up at Rexall during the season

She turned into quite the dish eh?

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#58 Ender the Dragon
August 27 2009, 04:19PM
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that big bad-ass dude whose picture was in your baseball write-up a little while ago

Walter Young. That's his name; the guy I'd think had an inside track for this year's roster ahead of Comrie.

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#59 ronaldo
August 27 2009, 04:20PM
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This could be good in two ways: 1)We're ditching Nillllsssson somehow to make it happen (added bonus of never having to figure out if it's one l and two s's or two l's and one s or two t's and two s's or one l and one s). 2)Helping to show players around the league that we've changed and it's ok to play here. Screw you Heatley.

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#60 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:21PM
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Godzilla wrote:

bet we could have Robert Lang or D. Moore for the same amount.

So? Why would we want that? Oilers + Comrie - Nilsson= a better team.

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#61 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 04:21PM
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@ Downright Fierce:

You owe me the two minutes of my life that I spent watching that Randy Newman video back please.

@ Jeanshorts:

As if you have a rape kit. All you need to do is lift your shirt, revealing your 15 pack of abs and the panties take themselves off.

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#62 Poo Czar
August 27 2009, 04:25PM
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Well, it'll give us a do-over on that Perry deal, this time without the money issue, right? RIGHT?!?

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#63 Ender the Dragon
August 27 2009, 04:25PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Downright Fierce: You owe me the two minutes of my life that I spent watching that Randy Newman video back please.

I actually preferred it to the two minutes of work I was paid to be doing. Thanks, DF. :)

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#64 Pedro
August 27 2009, 04:26PM
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Now that I have calmed down I see this as a no lose situation for the Oilers. Its like last year when the flames signed big Bert to a one year deal. Both players had reasonable success in the past, but recently have struggled. By signing Comrie to little sallery we may look back at this as a steal if he has success, if not It would only be a one year deal- no stings attached. Interesting you said we would give him a 1.3 mill. deal, nhlnumbers says we have 1.49 so this deal fits.

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#65 ronaldo
August 27 2009, 04:29PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

@ Downright Fierce: You owe me the two minutes of my life that I spent watching that Randy Newman video back please.

I watched two minutes of that Sean Kingston video yesterday and I demand four minutes of life back.

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#66 Robin Brownlee
August 27 2009, 04:29PM
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Something being a bad idea doesn't preclude it from happening. Stranger things haver happened . . . if it was only September 1, I could say more, but . . .

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#67 Ender the Dragon
August 27 2009, 04:29PM
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Wanye, did your source give you any kind of timeline on this deal? It doesn't seem like the kind of thing you could just sit on very long. Both Comrie and the Oil understand that NHL training camps are almost upon us and days matter here; I would think if this deal was going to happen, we'd hear about it from official sources within a few days, neh?

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#68 ronaldo
August 27 2009, 04:30PM
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Is Robin allowed really long comments?

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#69 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:30PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

Something being a bad idea doesn’t preclude it from happening. Stranger things haver happened . . . if it was only September 1, I could say more, but . . .

DAMN YOU BROWNLEE!!!!!!!

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#70 Ender the Dragon
August 27 2009, 04:31PM
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@ Robin Brownlee:

Just because you can't write a whole article doesn't mean you can't spend some time and spill a few idle thoughts with your friends, RB.

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#71 Poo Czar
August 27 2009, 04:32PM
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Robin Brownlee wrote:

Something being a bad idea doesn’t preclude it from happening. Stranger things haver happened . . . if it was only September 1, I could say more, but . . .

Hey Gretz? Go return those discount granola bars, and pay this man so he can yell at us in article form with insight and venom. Thanks in advance.

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#72 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 04:33PM
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ronaldo wrote:

Is Robin allowed really long comments?

Does anyone else get the impression Brownlee is trying to execute jedi mind tricks to up his monthly quota of articles on the site? Everyone else runs a flat rate for unlimited articles but Robin has asked for a per article rate - which I understand.

I wouldn't be surprised if he personally arranged this late in the month signing as leverage to get a bigger deal.

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#73 Ender the Dragon
August 27 2009, 04:33PM
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ronaldo wrote:

Is Robin allowed really long comments?

Allowed, yes. Paid for, probably not. I think it was a subtle hint to Wanye that perhaps an 'arrangement' could be worked out.

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#74 Godzilla
August 27 2009, 04:34PM
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@ Travis Dakin: Well, getting rid of Nilsson remains to be done. So right now the equation would be:

Oilers + Comrie = cap problem + no 1 left wing.

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#75 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:34PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: I'm all for updating the contract. You can sign me up for sponsorship recruitment if need be. I'd be a VERY persuasive sell.

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#76 OvenChicken8
August 27 2009, 04:35PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

I wouldn’t be surprised if he personally arranged this late in the month signing as leverage to get a bigger deal.

Damn him and his bargaining schemes.

And well if he won't tell us here I better hear about it on 1260 on my way home from work.

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#77 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:36PM
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Godzilla wrote:

@ Travis Dakin: Well, getting rid of Nilsson remains to be done. So right now the equation would be: Oilers + Comrie = cap problem + no 1 left wing.

1L Penner 2L Cogliano 3L Moreau 4L JFJ

1C Comrie 2C Gagner 3C Horcoff 4C Brule

1R Hemsky 2R O'Sullivan 3R Pisani 4R Stortini

Yes I got your joke but I really like this idea.

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#78 Poo Czar
August 27 2009, 04:37PM
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Wait, can anyone here actually count to ten to see if he's actually written that many articles this month?

I CALL SHENNANIGANS!!!

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#79 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:38PM
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SHENNANIGANS!!!!!

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#80 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 04:40PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

I've literally seen panties evaporate at the sound of my singing voice.

The rape kit is just a back up. Let's just say I don't take no for an answer......

*rubs his hands slowly and licks his lips*

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#81 Wanye Gretz
August 27 2009, 04:40PM
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@ Poo Czar:

I think he wrote 11 last month and is running 9 in August. I don't count articles of course, because I am of the mind that flat rates are the better way to go so that if something big happens - say Mike Comrie signing a one year deal with the Oilers - the pros can always weigh in on the matter and the big stories won't be left to idiots like me getting my rumors from my fellow male prostitutes behind the Sobey's on Jasper Avenue.

But what do I know right?

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#82 ronaldo
August 27 2009, 04:41PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: I’m all for updating the contract. You can sign me up for sponsorship recruitment if need be. I’d be a VERY persuasive sell.

*Busts door down* "Listen up b*tches, open up your wallets, you'll be buying some online ads NOW, aight!!! I'm Travis F#$@ing Dakin!!!"

Sound about right?

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#83 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:41PM
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@ Wanye Gretz: Holy man offer him more for a flat rate then!!! My life has officially come to a stand still since your initial tweet.

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#84 Godzilla
August 27 2009, 04:42PM
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@ Travis Dakin: I agree It's not a bad lineup, but where's Pou???

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#85 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:42PM
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ronaldo wrote:

Busts door down* “Listen up b*tches, open up your wallets, you’ll be buying some online ads NOW, aight!!! I’m Travis F#$@ing Dakin!!!” Sound about right?

Wow, that would leave me with a whole lot more dignity than what I had in mind.... I like it.

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#86 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:43PM
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Godzilla wrote:

@ Travis Dakin: I agree It’s not a bad lineup, but where’s Pou???

In the minors tearing it up with Schremp and Nilsson.

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#87 OvenChicken8
August 27 2009, 04:44PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

@ Wanye Gretz: Holy man offer him more for a flat rate then!!! My life has officially come to a stand still since your initial tweet.

Is it sad that mine has too? Or are we just passionate fans?

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#88 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:45PM
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OvenChicken8 wrote:

Is it sad that mine has too? Or are we just passionate fans?

This is a side effect of bleeding copper and blue.

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#89 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:46PM
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OH YEAH BROWNLEE IS ON THE TEAM 1260 TODAY!!!!!!

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#90 jeanshorts
August 27 2009, 04:47PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

OvenChicken8 wrote: Is it sad that mine has too? Or are we just passionate fans? This is a side effect of bleeding copper and blue.

And being complete losers. Now if you guys will excuse me, I have to go cut my toe nails and get them ready for my monthly package to Megan Fox.

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#91 Hemmertime
August 27 2009, 04:47PM
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Im for it, it doubles my chances of scoring with Hillary Duff to 0.00000000000000000002% .

Make a clause that Comrie is new stick boy though, has to carry equipment until he works off 2.5 million in owed bonus money.

Damn, I can go all day

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#92 The Menace
August 27 2009, 04:48PM
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Travis Dakin wrote:

Comrie between Penner and Hemsky lets horcoff go between Pisani and Moreau thus solving the 3C problem. Penner-Comrie-Hemsky O’Sullivan-Gagner-Cogliano Moreau-Horcoff-Pisani JFJ-Brule-Stortini

What happens to nillson? stick-boy? does stick-boy count against the cap?

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#93 bingofuel
August 27 2009, 04:48PM
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Hemmertime wrote:

Damn, I can go all day

That is NOT what she said.

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#94 Hemmertime
August 27 2009, 04:49PM
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Sheet, At 1.3 million he'll need to start doing commercials for The Brick. Maybe steal the Carpet Superstore gig too

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#95 OvenChicken8
August 27 2009, 04:50PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

And being complete losers. Now if you guys will excuse me, I have to go cut my toe nails and get them ready for my monthly package to Megan Fox.

LOL. That was awesome.

@ Wanye Gretz: If I get through on the drive home I will ask.

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#96 OvenChicken8
August 27 2009, 04:51PM
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The Menace wrote:

Travis Dakin wrote: Comrie between Penner and Hemsky lets horcoff go between Pisani and Moreau thus solving the 3C problem. Penner-Comrie-Hemsky O’Sullivan-Gagner-Cogliano Moreau-Horcoff-Pisani JFJ-Brule-Stortini What happens to nillson? stick-boy? does stick-boy count against the cap?

waivers... then he won't count.

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#97 Poo Czar
August 27 2009, 04:51PM
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Wanye Gretz wrote:

my fellow male prostitutes behind the Sobey’s on Jasper Avenue.

Oh! You're THAT Wanye Gretz?!? See you tonight, princess!

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#98 Travis Dakin
August 27 2009, 04:51PM
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bingofuel wrote:

Hemmertime wrote: Damn, I can go all day That is NOT what she said.

OH!!!

The Menace wrote:

What happens to nillson? stick-boy? does stick-boy count against the cap?

Minors!

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#99 grmsville
August 27 2009, 04:52PM
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This could be good for two reasons:

1. Mike Comrie = Hiliary Duff... wait hasn't that been pointed out dozens of times already......i'm not done... = Haley Duff, thats right.

2. The Oilers could generate PPV money by televising the grudge match between Comrie and Gagner over who has the right to #89

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#100 MattL
August 27 2009, 04:53PM
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What's Comrie's FO percentage like? Also, when does Sean Avery start dating HDuff?

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