Wanye picks his star

Wanye
September 14 2009 02:23PM

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Today is a most glorious day – a day we uphold one of the most beloved traditions in the OilersNation. No today is not the day we collectively turn on some drive by commenter and cause him to run back to the Jonas Brothers forum. Today is 2009-2010 Star Picking Day©. So let's gather round the Star picking tree and have ourselves a think shall we?

Picking a Star – and later a goat – for the season has been a long standing tradition with our crew of pirates. For the duration of the season if your Star does something mad decent – lights the lamp at a key point in a game for instance – you get to bask in the glow of the Star as he is “your guy.” Should your Star go stone cold – or get traded as was the case last year when we picked Erik Cole – you are forced to sit quietly in the corner, speaking only when spoken to as you wait for the regular season to end.

Picking a star is a tricky business that requires a great deal of thinking. Anyone can pick Ales Hemsky and be reasonably assured that they will look quasi intelligent throughout the whole season. But be like our buddy Lee in the 2006 Season who famously picked Fernando Pisani as his playoff Star – and your genius will be praised from the highest tower for years to come.

We have basically the worst luck picking stars. Not only did we pick Cole last year, we also picked Ryan Smyth the year he was traded, Chris Pronger the year he left town due to family reasons and Eric Fichaud so many years back on the hunch “he could make it as a starter in the NHL.” On that note of taking needless risks, we have deliberated the options before us, crushed a few dozen BLs over the weekend, and decided on our Star this year. Give ours a read and then go on record with your own Star for the season.

2009-2010 Star

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This year took a little bit of soul searching, but we believe we have come up with an unlikely but deserving pick this year: Mike Comrie.

Yep, that’s right. The very same Mike Comrie we have taken delight in booing these past 6 years. There are many folks around town that are of the mind that Comrie is a spoiled brat, a silk suit wearing dandy, a non-Oiler type more interested in dating celebrities than putting the biscuit in the basket. These same people might tell you that signing Comrie to a one year deal is akin to tendering an offer sheet to Lord Satan himself, except that Satan (as we all know) is eleven feet tall and could probably be of more use than another diminutive forward on a team that is already microscopically small.

Be that as it may, we just can’t help but think that if we were Mike Comrie, we would have stayed far, far away from the City of Champions. A City that had not only turned its back on a guy who had seemingly done the same to us, but one that has seemingly had its fill of his family as well.

Instead he has done the impossible and returned to E-town and is shopping for a house as we speak. This takes some serious stones and we for one are impressed by this.

Yukon Jack, host of local radio and an all around funny guy had a take on Comrie returning to Oiler silks a few weeks back:

“Faced with the very real prospect of one of the most hated ex-Oilers in history returning to the team, I'm a little torn. Mike Comrie could show up at Rexall in 29 different sweaters and I'd go home hoarse from three periods of chirps regarding La-Z-Boys, Jay Leno jaw lines and Hilary Duff's cankles. But if he's in Copper 'n' Blue silks, then what? I'm not just booing a spoiled little turn- coat, I'm booing my favourite hockey team, and I don't do that, ever. I feel like my buddy broke up with his two-timing ex-girlfriend and I told him he's better off without her and what trash she was and that I never liked her anyways and that she really needed to do something about her moustache, and then he got back together with her. Awkward. What will I do if Mike Comrie once again dons the jersey he doesn't even deserve to wash, never mind wear? I don't know. “

We would like to throw out a suggestion to all of the fans facing a similar dilemma.

Cheer

 

Cheer like this guy does. Cheer on a guy who may have had limited options but could have gone elsewhere, yet he chose to come home. Cheer on a guy that may throw up a front similar to most Pro Athletes, speaking about playing hard, skating to the net etc but has to be mildly concerned at the reception he faces throughout the year.

Edmonton has been plagued with players giving us the collective Royal Screw Job. Turning down offer sheets, signing 5 year deals and bouncing after year one, or refusing to come altogether though Edmonton was most definitely on his list of destinations. This has become all too familiar around these parts and we stand in the front of the line to boo these idiots off of RX1 ice each and every time they visit our grand City.

But returning to face the angry hordes? Faced with the very real prospect of missing the playoffs for a fourth year in a row? That takes some balls. Balls that we can applaud.

Yep, Comrie you are our Star for 2009-2010. You have our full and undivided attention and when we take our seat in Section 315, Row 96 Seat 1 on opening night, we will put our money where our mouth is and cheer you onto the ice.

Tomorrow: Picking the Goat.

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Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#51 dragon
September 14 2009, 03:43PM
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Star: JDD (he will find his consistency and will save the Wall a few times too...)

Goat: MAP (another load of chances, another almost-there)

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#52 Joey Moss
September 14 2009, 03:45PM
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Star: Souray Goat: Moreau

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#53 Fiveandagame
September 14 2009, 03:46PM
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Oh man I am so going to feel like Wanye last year with the old Eric Cole pick.

STAR: Nilsson!

Kids got talent and he has a lot to prove. He has a spot in the top 6 if her performs, expect to see 18 goals and 38 assists for the Mini Magic Man.

*immediately smashes himself in the groin with his hockey stick for making this pick*

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#54 BigE91
September 14 2009, 03:46PM
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Star: Andrew Cogliano

Question: Why do some posters feel the need to hedge their bets and pick a star and then throw in a "dark horse"? Man up and make your pick. Don't pick a guy and then say maybe this guy could be the star too. Wafflers....

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#55 smytty777
September 14 2009, 03:47PM
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Star: Stortini (huggy-bearing his way to the top)

Goat: Staios (at age 36 it seems unlikely he will learn how to complete a tape to tape pass at this stage of his career).

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#56 Colin
September 14 2009, 03:49PM
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I voted for gagner as a star, but thinking about it I think stortini will take a big step forward this season.

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#57 OvenChicken8
September 14 2009, 03:50PM
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smytty777 wrote:

Star: Stortini (huggy-bearing his way to the top)

More love for Storts! He'll be playing 3rd line minutes consistently by December.

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#58 jeff
September 14 2009, 03:53PM
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rubbertrout wrote:

jeff wrote: @ rubbertrout: I’d be interested to see as Malhotra was the main defensvie center in CBJ. It would have to be pretty close although Peca would’ve taken some time away from Malhotra. Don’t get me wrong, I like Malhotra (and have suggested here that we try to sign him) which would free Horc up to get more offensive time but it’s not as though everyone is rushing out to sign Manny. Maybe that’s why you and I post on the internet instead of running the team!

I tell you this if our PK sucks again this year, they might as well pick a random fan in rexall to make personel decisions.

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#59 scorecoff hemmercules
September 14 2009, 03:53PM
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Gagner is due to suprise us all with an awesome year, I hope.

I don't want to make Bulin my goat but I'm worried, were relying heavily on that dude.

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#60 jeff
September 14 2009, 03:53PM
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@ BigE91: Okay I change to Hemsky

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#61 smytty777
September 14 2009, 03:54PM
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@ OvenChicken8: I like Storts, he brings a lot of things that this team is short on (size and physical play).

I thought about picking Moreau, but I think the injuries have caught up to him. Stortini is still on the rise.

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#62 scorecoff hemmercules
September 14 2009, 03:55PM
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And to Wanye, another masterpiece my good man! Reminds me of prostars cereal a little bit.

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#63 no clue
September 14 2009, 03:55PM
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Hey Numbnutts, goat picking is tomarrow, duh! Besides picking Staios or Moreau as a goat is weak, they were goats last year, double duh!

Star = Nilsson

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#64 sittingatmydesk
September 14 2009, 03:56PM
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Star: Penner Goat: MAP

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#65 Adam Dyck
September 14 2009, 03:56PM
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I'm going to have to go with Grebs for the star this year.

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#66 BigE91
September 14 2009, 03:57PM
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@ jeff:

~Safe pick?~ Just kidding man. I'm just thinking that if the good host Wanye and the rest of his ON gang can hang their hat on one pick, the rest of us should be able to as well.

I like the call though, if they give him a LW who is consistent he could have a great year. Cogs is still my pick though.

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#67 Wanye Gretz
September 14 2009, 03:58PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules:

A buddy just emailed me and wanted to know what is up with the lumps on the star's arms. For the record those are muscles. Also in the background are fans that are in love with said star and you can tell the opposing goalie on the RHS fears the prowess of the star with the ! of alarm displayed above his head.

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#68 Poo Czar
September 14 2009, 04:08PM
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I dunno, Star and Goat seem like generic titles for a pretty prestigious nomination. Alternate suggestions:

Star = 06 Cousin 'Nando (or 90 Bill Ranford) Nomination for Impending Outstanding Awesomeness

Goat = Steve Smith Shame Nomination for Prospective Pants Shittery

Hmmm... needs work.

All my Stars are already taken, so I'ma go off the board and call Gilbert Brule!

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#69 Ender the Dragon
September 14 2009, 04:14PM
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I really want to stick with last year's star and say Cogliano, but Patty-O-Lanterns has looked very promising and a healthy Lubo is hard to pass up too . . . what to do, what to do . . .

I'm sticking with my boy.

Cogs is going to show mad skills this year. Won't spend much time on the top line, perhaps, but will be better than last year and show that he's the best of the 'Kid Line'.

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#70 socaldave
September 14 2009, 04:23PM
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Star - Horcoff. 35 goals, 80+ pts. =)

Goat - Gagner. 15 goals, 35 pts. =(

That is all.

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#71 scorecoff hemmercules
September 14 2009, 04:27PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

Thanks for clarifying the ! over the goalie, the rest was pretty clear.

My favorite Wanye MSterpiece still has to be the Souray one with the trail of money (couldn't find it??). If you ever sell those I'll start the bidding on that one at One hundred million dollars.

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#72 Travis Dakin
September 14 2009, 04:32PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules: No man the best one was the Rexall place with the helicopter and fire and such.

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#73 Quicksilver ballet
September 14 2009, 04:34PM
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How come his left leg is so much beefier than his right?

Is his "package" taped down along the inside of his leg?

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#74 Wanye Gretz
September 14 2009, 04:35PM
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@ scorecoff hemmercules:

Where did that picture go? I just looked through the assortment of mishmash I have helpfully labelled "NATION" on my desktop and couldn't find anything.

@ Travis Dakin:

I tend to agree. That arena diagram literally took me 2 hours back when I was employable. I had to get a coworker to cover for me on a conference call to finish it.

Ah those were the days.

*goes back to shaving head into envelopes marked "George Clooney" and selling them on ebay*

@ Quicksilver ballet:

Because, uh...

*runs away*

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#75 Heather
September 14 2009, 04:35PM
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Out of all of them I will take Nilsson.

Now here's hoping he makes the team or I'll be hanging my head in shame. Oh wait I already am...

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#76 Skidplate
September 14 2009, 04:40PM
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My star vote goes to Horcoff. He WILL have a great season. Even with all the hate that gets spewed his way, he is a TEAM player. His injury is healed (at least I hope so) and he will be a point/game player!!!

GOOILERS!!!

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#77 smiliegirl15
September 14 2009, 04:41PM
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Penner is my star vote. He has it in him and he doesn't have MacT crapping on him this season. If Comrie can come back to play for Edmonton, Penner can shine this season.

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#78 Ssseth
September 14 2009, 04:42PM
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*scratches head*

Rexall Place doesn't have a Section 315... or am I missing something here?

Just when we thought we could stalk ol' Wanye he plays Jedi mind tricks with us on the mystery seat location. Meeting him once in person last rockin the new (at the time) ON gear year just wasn't enough damn it! He's actually semi internet famous now. I was thinking of getting him to sign one of my moobs. Hmmmm, perhaps there is a reason he didn't give the real section after all.

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#79 Bostonoiler
September 14 2009, 04:50PM
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I think Nilsson is going to have a great year under Quinn, I also think Hemsky is going to be huge. Hemsky and Nilsson for the stars.

My goat is Gilbert. I think people are going to be disappointed with him this season.

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#80 jeanshorts
September 14 2009, 04:50PM
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Patty "needs a hug" O'Sullivan is going to pot at least 30 this year if not 40. And then he's going to stop by his dads house, and stand on the front lawn. Mr. O'Sullivan will slowly come out and stand on the porch, as they stare each other down. After a lengthy staring contest, Mr. O'Sullivan will make his way toward Patrick, and as a single tear rolls down his cheek he'll say under his breath "You did it son. I love you". The End.

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#81 OvenChicken8
September 14 2009, 04:52PM
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Heather wrote:

Now here’s hoping he makes the team or I’ll be hanging my head in shame. Oh wait I already am…

If he is your star, you cannot hang your head in shame. Chin up! Your star is the Oilers single greatest player for this year and you must stand by him regardless of what happens.

I will be cheering Stortini even more after the Boogie man knocks 4 more teeth out of his beautiful smile and hell I'll be drinking enough kool-aid to tell you all about how he won that fight.

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#82 Wanye Gretz
September 14 2009, 04:54PM
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@ jeanshorts:

This is what happens when your TV is stuck on the Lifetime Network and all you have in the fridge is peyote.

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#83 Canadian Maniac
September 14 2009, 05:10PM
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What the hell, I also pick Comrie as my star for this year. I think he'll easily live up to his (thankfully) small contract and still has the potential to go a lot further than what 1.1 mil in the NHL will normally get you.

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#84 jeanshorts
September 14 2009, 05:12PM
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@ Wanye Gretz:

WHO THE HELL SAID THAT??????

*Throws a potted plant out the window and locks himself inside linen closet*

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#85 Wanye Gretz
September 14 2009, 05:48PM
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@ jeanshorts:

Where did you get a potted plant? That's awesome!

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#86 Victoria
September 14 2009, 05:55PM
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First name that popped in my head and I'll go with it: Penner

Goat: 'Bulin (injuries will be the killer)

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#87 ScubaSteve
September 14 2009, 05:57PM
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Hero: Gagner - Will be #1 center by years end.

Goat: Staois - Doesn't deserve a spot on the team.

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#88 Petr's Jofa
September 14 2009, 06:14PM
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Star - JFJ*

He will get his game together and play give the Oilers the size and grit they need.

*PLease note I just returned from having a few wobbly pops atthe company golf tounament.

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#89 mjsh
September 14 2009, 06:34PM
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It's difficult not to be on the kool aid at this time of year. Last year, the preseason game that the Oil slept-walked through against Calgary was the signal of what was to come.

My star for the year will be a good safe pick. Horcoff. The goat being the guy who does not meet expectations will be O'Sullivan.

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#90 Slickster
September 14 2009, 06:35PM
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Star - Nillson ( He will earn the second line spot with Penner and Gagner and will reach 50 -60 points this year ) Goat - Staios ( he will be the fan's whipping boy because of the salary and the constant fire drills and bad penalties)

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#91 JRyanMac
September 14 2009, 06:43PM
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Star: Andrew Cogliano. I doubt he'll improve much on the dot,but i think he'll be able use his speed more effectively with a more uptempo style...

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#92 The Menace
September 14 2009, 07:16PM
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With that goal light, I'll bet that guy's (Wanye?) house is a lot of fun to watch a game at. For about 15 minutes. Maybe if his mom was hot and she came downstairs once and awhile. hehehe.

Oh, and Comrie's my pick for star too.

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#93 spiceweasel
September 14 2009, 07:18PM
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Star: O'Sullivan

Despite seemingly everyone jumping on his bandwagon he's still my guy.

Patty has way more to show than what we got last year. He'll light it up and make Comrie (despite the cheap contract and free-agent PR goldmine) completely redundant.

I was soooo tempted to pick JF Jaques to finally come good and actually make the team, but that's just too good to be true. A big guy with soft hands who can skate and hit? Quit teasing.

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#94 Jay
September 14 2009, 07:46PM
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Star: Horcoff. He will do it all again this year, and with more points.

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#95 Hoss
September 14 2009, 07:57PM
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I picked Penner.... I just really want him to finally get it.

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#96 Archaeologuy
September 14 2009, 08:01PM
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Star: Cogs

When Cogs gets his shot in the top 6 he will be lights out. Huge shooting percentage coupled with more offensive opportunites should translate into 20+ goals. Desperately needed on the 3rd line.

Alternate Star: Schremp This pick in no way reflects an expectation that Schremp will a)make camp b) become an offensive dynamo. I only have him down as my darkhorse feel-good pick to eventually break the ranks of the NHL and chip in in an offensive role that so many people are desperate to say he cant do.

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#97 Unnamed source
September 14 2009, 08:05PM
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Well since i started all this Comrie madness he has to be my star if for nothing else strictly for having the balls to come back and play for the Mighty Oil.

Goat goes to Wanye for never answering my phone calls after i gave him the tip of the year.

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#98 Archaeologuy
September 14 2009, 08:05PM
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@ Archaeologuy: that should read "a) make the team from camp"

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#99 Racki
September 14 2009, 08:05PM
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Where the hell do I go to get that horn/light show for my basement (from the Oil fan video)?! That's crazy. :P

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#100 Benhur
September 14 2009, 08:10PM
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I gotta go with Cogs. With Pat's upbeat attack mode game his speed will kill and buy him a lot more ice tinme/opportunities! He also has something to prove after this summers Heatly fiasco. Go Cogs go!

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