Picking the goat

Wanye
September 15 2009 10:25AM

goatgoat

Picking the Goat for the 2009-10 hockey season is almost more difficult than picking the Star. Firstly, one has to take a look at the team’s overall chances and the likelihood someone is going to take multiple blamings as the season wears on. The better your team, the less likely your goat is going to take a beating.

Say you are one of the eleven remaining fans of the Harlem Globetrotters.You have a reasonably good chance that your team won’t lose a single game all season and odds are that the blistering basket shoot-scoring of the Washington Generals won’t keep you up late on most nights. In this instance you have no real need for a Goat as success seems assured.

Now say you are a fan of the local ice hockey squadron, the Edmonton Oilers. Following their liver shredding Cup run in 2006, the Oilers have amazingly missed the playoffs three years in a row. This has not gone over well in the OilersNation where fans have become surely at best and murderous at worst. We had a long discussion with some of the boys about the temperature of the crowds that will enter RX1 this coming season. What will the prevailing mood be? Hopeful hope? Anger filled anger? Something inbetween like tepid indifference? It really could go either way.

The purpose of picking a Goat is to be able to hang your hat on an Oiler and blame him for the entire buffet table of bitter tasting woe that the Oilers serve to us on such a regular basis of late. When you name a particular player as your Goat he becomes the whipping boy for the entire team and a theraputic release for all things bad.

Ales Hemsky whiffs one? Damn the Goat for passing him the puck in such an off tempo manner. Oh it wasn’t the Goat that passed him the puck? Damn his poor positional play causing a hurried pass. Goat boy wasn’t on the ice for the whiff? Curse his bench sitting technique all to hell!

Now should your Goat actually cause some sort of unfortunate incident on the ice? Now you’re talking! Friends witnessing the gaffe will often look to you and say “good call going with ___ as your Goat this season. That guy is twelve shades of shit.” You can then sit back, smug in your predictory skills, almost taking pleasure at the brutalness of Senor Goato.

This is the way we pass the winter Nation. Until we figure out a way to keep Edmonton 24 degrees year round, this is the best we can do.

2009-2010 Goat Selecto

Last year we famously picked Dennis Grebeshkov to be the Goat for the season. Though some in the Nation figured his dramatically improved play, team leading plus/minus (or something) and (something something) meant he had turned the corner as an NHL player they couldn't be more wrong. While we were focused on his terrible play, worse attitude and awful results we found that we actually began to truly dislike him as the season wore on.

goatgrebs2

Think we hated Grebs last year? Check back now that it is 2010 and Goatie McGrebeshkov has signed a 3 million dollar deal. A 3 million dollar deal!? Has the entire world gone crazy? What in the sweet holy hell is going on? Remember when Grant Fuhr signed that crazy free agent contract with the Leafs? What did he make, like $1.8 MM or something? Now Grebeshkov makes 3 million? How do you think that makes Grant Fuhr feel? We will tell you how it makes Grant Fuhr feel. Not very good! And he has found a second life on the celebrity golf circuit.

No, no, no. This won’t do at all. We love Grant Fuhr. Screw you Grebs, looks like you are up as the Goat deuce years in a row.

One final note

wanye2

It’s (Preseason) Game Day Bitches.

*runs off to liquor store, because if the hobos downtown have taught us anything it’s that unemployed people drink whenever the hell they please*

09049f03ecb006ab29372206f2a88f75
Blog so hard motherf**ckers try and find me. Email me at wanyegretz@gmail.com or tweet me @wanyegretz provided it is about Jordan Eberle or babes.
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#251 ronaldo
September 15 2009, 08:14PM
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My star has 2...yeah!

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#252 Chris
September 15 2009, 08:15PM
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I'm not a Schremp booster... and I doubt he'll make this team... and he probably made his own bed... But: I must admit he looks better so far this year. At least he's keeping his feet moving when he enters the offensive zone; Big step.

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#253 Archaeologuy
September 15 2009, 08:16PM
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Jason Gregor wrote:

Those are old…I will have new ones next week a long with a female that some of you might enjoy taking a gander at from time-to-time.

Lynda Steele?

*hopes he isnt the only one who has enjoyed taking a gander at Lynda Steele since he discovered I-TV*

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#254 Fiveandagame
September 15 2009, 08:24PM
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@ Chris: He looks a lot leaner too. Feet are moving and his head is up. Great start by Robbie

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#255 ronaldo
September 15 2009, 08:28PM
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Gotta say, it's weird seeing Quinn behind the bench.

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#256 Chris
September 15 2009, 08:30PM
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@ Fiveandagame:

Too bad he didn't "get it" two years ago. It sucks that Schremp is waiver eligible just when it looks like he may be finally becomming a worthy first callup, type player.

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#257 ronaldo
September 15 2009, 08:31PM
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Gregor made the smooch cam! And he's a Flames fan?!?!

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#258 Jayo1808
September 15 2009, 08:34PM
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Dubnyk looks sharp

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#259 Chris
September 15 2009, 08:35PM
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It's funny how the guys calling the game are going on and on about the "tremendous" depth in the Flames organization... If that's so: Why do they have such a brutal bottom six?

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#260 Chris
September 15 2009, 08:43PM
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Just cruised past the (F)Lames Nation site to read their game day drill: wasn't surprised to see that Flames ~Fans~ hadn't bothered to make a single comment. Cut your losses Wayne: Flames ~Fans~ just aren't the same... heck the whole city just isn't the same; they can put the flag on their jersey's, but they just aren't AS Canadian.

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#261 TDSM31
September 15 2009, 09:04PM
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Look at that 30th Anniversary logo for the Flames...that's embarrassing. I've seen more professional artwork from Wanye on this site.

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#262 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:04PM
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I just finished watching Big Brother. Are we still winning?

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#263 ScubaSteve
September 15 2009, 09:06PM
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@ jeanshorts:

You chose to watch Big Brother over the game?

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#264 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:07PM
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@ ScubaSteve:

Yes. Yes I did. I even had people over just for Big Brother. GET OFF MY BACK!!!!

*searches around for his manhood*

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#265 RossCreek
September 15 2009, 09:07PM
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@ Chris. How old is flameanation? How old is oilersnation? Did oilersnation start out with this many commenters? Was it always THIS BIG? Did a flames fan start oilersnation? Is canucksarmy any better? Is there a radio personality and hall of fame worthy journalist writing there (no diss to those that do contribute)? Did flamesnation get HUGE pub with thee Lynda Steele on thee ITV? Is it possible that perhaps flames fans have other go-to sites? Should I continue?

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#266 ronaldo
September 15 2009, 09:09PM
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RossCreek wrote:

Was it always THIS BIG?

That's what she said. teehee

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#267 ScubaSteve
September 15 2009, 09:10PM
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@ RossCreek: Very good questions, but they can all be answered by the same statement:

"Don't care, Flames and their fans suck"

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#268 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:11PM
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BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Also, who scored for the Oilers? Anyone standing out tonight?

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#269 ScubaSteve
September 15 2009, 09:13PM
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Sully got both, Comrie is looking good tonight, Shremp looks great on the PP, but kinda invisible other than that. Staois looks awful, Chorney, JFJ and Stortini are looking good to me.

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#270 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:13PM
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Ewww. Super mediocre girls working the Flames 50/50

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#271 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:14PM
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ScubaSteve wrote:

Sully got both, Comrie is looking good tonight, Shremp looks great on the PP, but kinda invisible other than that. Staois looks awful, Chorney, JFJ and Stortini are looking good to me.

Nice. Looks good for my Sully star prediction and my Statios old man Goat choice too. Did JDD start? Or has Dubnyk been in the whole time.

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#272 ScubaSteve
September 15 2009, 09:15PM
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JDD started, looked solid, overplayed a couple shots, but kept it out.

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#273 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:19PM
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@ ScubaSteve:

Well at least he's consistent. That seemed to be his M.O last year in the few games he played.

Man, it is a little odd seeing Comrie in the beautiful Oiler silks.

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#274 Chris
September 15 2009, 09:20PM
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@ RossCreek: Oilersnation grew exponentially almost from it's inception... It's time you crossed over to the light my friend...(You know you want to!)

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#275 ronaldo
September 15 2009, 09:20PM
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Sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#276 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:20PM
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Whhhhooooooooo. Pre Season!

Should we put all our stock into pre-season wins like Canuck fans did last year?

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#277 Chris
September 15 2009, 09:21PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Whhhhooooooooo. Pre Season! Should we put all our stock into pre-season wins like Canuck fans did last year?

Didn't they win the division?

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#278 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:22PM
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@ Chris:

All they have is NW Division banners. Every time I go to GM Place I ask where they keep all their Cup banners. Edmonton made room for theirs.

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#279 jeanshorts
September 15 2009, 09:29PM
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Take that Horcoff haters!

What? This is still pre-season? Oh.

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#280 Reggie
September 15 2009, 09:31PM
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ScubaSteve wrote:

JDD started, looked solid, overplayed a couple shots, but kept it out.

Do you mean JDD or Dubnyk ? JDD played the first half and Dubnyk the last half. Dubnyk seemed to overplay some shots a bit.

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#281 Reggie
September 15 2009, 09:33PM
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Oh man, you just have to love the Flames 3 star picks. They lose 4-1 and get first and third stars ? Hello ? Typical homer picks. I know it's pre-season, but give me a break.

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#282 oilitsinyoutogive
September 15 2009, 09:42PM
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Cogs would be my choice for star.

And my donkey is Horcoff.

i think these are pretty basic, i dont think Horcoff is a first line center, and if hes played as one, then the amount of wiffs by horcoff this year could actually keep the ice frozen.

I am hoping Cogs will step it up and spin the whole "Heatly" thing into a positive for him. Also hes fast which could be good.

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#283 TDSM31
September 15 2009, 09:48PM
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Ok, now can we change the website scoreboard???

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#284 fasteddie
September 15 2009, 09:54PM
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looks like Flames need Theo tonight. Good effort by Oil. Did anyone catch Bob on the radio, he said he was the worst one at the fitness camp. Now that is good radio hahahahahaha

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#285 steve thomas
September 15 2009, 09:57PM
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jeanshorts wrote:

Take that Horcoff haters! What? This is still pre-season? Oh.

He missed yet another open net in the first. But I'm hoping he has a banner year. Still has to prove his "new" salary.

Stone had a pretty good game!

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#286 steve thomas
September 15 2009, 09:59PM
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oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

*

HERE! HERE!

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#287 steve thomas
September 15 2009, 10:01PM
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oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

Cogs would be my choice for star. And my donkey is Horcoff. i think these are pretty basic, i dont think Horcoff is a first line center, and if hes played as one, then the amount of wiffs by horcoff this year could actually keep the ice frozen. I am hoping Cogs will step it up and spin the whole “Heatly” thing into a positive for him. Also hes fast which could be good.

Sorry. HERE, HERE give this man a cigar!!!!

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#288 oilerzz
September 15 2009, 10:13PM
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TDSM31 wrote:

Ok, now can we change the website scoreboard???

agreed its been a long summer looking at the last game score !!

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#289 quicksilver ballet
September 15 2009, 10:15PM
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oilitsinyoutogive wrote:

Cogs would be my choice for star. And my donkey is Horcoff. i think these are pretty basic, i dont think Horcoff is a first line center, and if hes played as one, then the amount of wiffs by horcoff this year could actually keep the ice frozen. I am hoping Cogs will step it up and spin the whole “Heatly” thing into a positive for him. Also hes fast which could be good.

Jizz in my pants.

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#290 Oilchange45
September 15 2009, 10:20PM
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Had a tough time choosing the goat. Too many potential candidates. Regretfully.....Staios.

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#291 Dallas
September 15 2009, 10:45PM
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Can't we pick 3 for that vote cause I would say staos cause he's getting old and going downhill Moreau cause he is still taking stupid penalties and pouliot cause he just will never get it I hope schremp makes it before that loser does

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#292 Charlie
September 15 2009, 11:03PM
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jordan Won!!!

Oh, I mean, yeah, go Oilers, nice game ahem ya.

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#293 Matt
September 15 2009, 11:10PM
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fasteddie wrote:

Good effort by Oil. Did anyone catch Bob on the radio, he said he was the worst one at the fitness camp. Now that is good radio hahahahahaha

Are you surprised, he is grossly out of shape. I can't even watch the PPV when he is on TV. You would think he would take some pride in his appearance, since he is a public figure.

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#294 ScubaSteve
September 15 2009, 11:25PM
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Matt wrote:

Are you surprised, he is grossly out of shape. I can’t even watch the PPV when he is on TV. You would think he would take some pride in his appearance, since he is a public figure.

One of the most ignorant posts on the nation ever. Who are you to say he doesn't take pride in his appearance? He's always very well dressed, well groomed, and conducts himself with class. But you want to call him out because he is overweight? Maybe think next time before you make a post that personally attacks someone, and makes you look like an @sshat.

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#295 Charlie
September 15 2009, 11:26PM
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ScubaSteve wrote:

Matt wrote: Are you surprised, he is grossly out of shape. I can’t even watch the PPV when he is on TV. You would think he would take some pride in his appearance, since he is a public figure. One of the most ignorant posts on the nation ever. Who are you to say he doesn’t take pride in his appearance? He’s always very well dressed, well groomed, and conducts himself with class. But you want to call him out because he is overweight? Maybe think next time before you make a post that personally attacks someone, and makes you look like an @sshat.

hahaha.

@sshat. worst kind of hat.

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#296 Dallas
September 16 2009, 12:04AM
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And also just a little something to whoever it was who said Gagner was slow. Gagner is NOT slow he just has an amazing ability to slow the game down to go along with all the other AMAZING talents the kid has and he is not the smallest player on the ice. He is about the same size as his dad was who I might add was a pretty fine player also. Gagner has 10 times the talent his dad has. So go back to hockey school you fool or don't bother commenting on players you know nothing about

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#297 Heatly
September 16 2009, 12:14AM
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Goat = MAP, but don't we know this already?

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#298 David S
September 16 2009, 12:34AM
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Dallas wrote:

And also just a little something to whoever it was who said Gagner was slow. Gagner is NOT slow he just has an amazing ability to slow the game down to go along with all the other AMAZING talents the kid has and he is not the smallest player on the ice. He is about the same size as his dad was who I might add was a pretty fine player also. Gagner has 10 times the talent his dad has. So go back to hockey school you fool or don’t bother commenting on players you know nothing about

These same people are calling him "Gagne" or "Ganger". That pretty much says it all.

After watching what Sam did against Vancouver last year I don't think much is past him. Any idiot that slags this kid has spent a bit too much time in the EA Sports world and not enough actually going to a few games to see how good this kid actually is.

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#299 DK0
September 16 2009, 12:45AM
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not going to lie, a liiiiittttllleee bit drunk from Killswitch Engage, In Flames and Protest the Hero. But even so, my picks are O'Sully (yes i just found out he had 2 goals but hes been my pick for a couple days) for Star and Staios for Goat. Here'es hoping Peckham steals Staios's spot and repeats his Claude Lemieux performance against some Calgary Flames.

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#300 Dallas
September 16 2009, 01:23AM
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@ ScubaSteve: I second that 90% of the reporters journalists radio poeple deserve nothing but credit for the insightful info they give us

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